Tiny, tiny little speck of a thing, and no Artemis/Holly goodness, alas, but necessary to keep things moving forward. And Christ knows I have enough trouble with that on this fic.

Disclaimer: I, through some mad design of fate and chance, have managed to become Eoin Colfer, Gaston Leroux, Susan Kay, and Andrew Lloyd Webber - yes, all of them, simultaneously and yes, it's not a pretty picture. I have Eoin's face, Gaston's legs, Susan's torso, and Andrew's... well, never mind.

Interlude: The Commander

Root threw down the mission report in disgust. A dozen of LEP Retrieval's finest officers, and they failed to bring back one lone female captain. No, more than that, they failed to rescue one lone female captain from the clutches of a demented, masked Mud Man. They were a disgrace. A shame to the entire LEP. Root had shouted at them for a few hours, directing his formidable vocabulary of insults at everything from their mothers to their appearances to their questionable ability to do their job. He'd sent them scuttling away in fear, but it hadn't made any difference. And it certainly hadn't made him feel any better about the situation.

Root could practically feel Cudgeon sneering at him, not to mention the whispers in the corridors. And beyond that, there was his own personal worry for Holly's safety. Young Captain Short was one of his finest officers, her gender notwithstanding, and the thought of her imprisoned and captured by some Mud Man gone crazy set him to chewing at his cigar more vigorously than ever.

Something had to be done.

But what? Further reports of the area revealed a whole subterranean empire of tunnels and traps, devised by the most cunning of opponents. Root knew Foaly had been wracking his brains for weeks for a way through the thing, with no avail, sending every system and virus and trick he could think of at the small fortress below the Paris Opera House. He also knew it was driving the centaur mad. The thought of a mere Mud Man thwarting his systems with such elegant precision was enough to send him to working ever harder. Besides, Foaly was fond enough of Captain Short himself to want her back safe and sound.

And then there was Cudgeon. It was no secret among the Lower Elements that Cudgeon fancied himself a better candidate for Root's job than the man himself, and that he would do anything to oust him and gain power. This whole messy affair had come at the worst possible moment, and Short's questionable behaviour as well had cast doubt upon her role in events and, indirectly, the wisdom of Root's vouching for her throughout the program. He was hardly decrepit, but somehow Cudgeon managed to have half the LEP speculating on whether he was becoming senile and should be replaced.

Ha. Like they could. Root would step aside if he felt there was a better commander to be found, but Cudgeon? He was more concerned with how the acorns would look on his epaulettes rather than the demands of the job. They had been friends once, but they had found different paths. And now Root was his former friend's boss. It was not a recipe for friendliness and back slapping all round, even in a workplace less stressful and intense than the LEP. Mostly Root just tried to avoid him.

Although it was hard. Especially with Cudgeon's habit of coming into Root's office.

"The door was shut," Root snapped over his paperwork as the door swung open and Cudgeon's very shiny shoes came into view. "It's polite to knock."

"Is it polite to reduce three members of a LEP Retrieval team to tears over a female captain?" drawled the other elf in sarcastic, barely respectful tones.

Root grunted, and contemplated punching Cudgeon in the face. It was a stress thing. "What do you want?"

"Only stopped by to give you this," Cudgeon said flippantly, dropping a report onto the desk. "My analysis of the Short situation and an appropriate action plan approved by the Council to remedy the situation."

Root flipped through it with disinterest to begin with, but he felt his eyebrows shoot up his forehead as he moved further through it. No. It couldn't be.

"Not a..."

"Oh yes," Cudgeon grinned, cocky as ever and evidently thrilled with his own cleverness. "A bio bomb."

"But that will kill Captain Short as well!" Root gasped in horror, cigar falling to the desk. Cudgeon shrugged.

"An acceptable loss, to ensure the overall safety of the Lower Elements and all its inhabitants." Cudgeon shrugged. "One lone female officer? Please. I hardly had to convince the Council into it."

"You don't have the authority to do that," Root enunciated with cold civility, knuckles white on the edge of the desk as Cudgeon makes his way to the door. "I would remind you of your place here."

Cudgeon turned, cocking an eyebrow. "Of course, sir," he said. He pulled Root's door closed and grinned.

"... For now."