The Cry of Paradise
by razzentino
Chapter 1
"And it took so long just to feel alright;
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes"
"Y…mir?" she whispered hoarsely, her voice breaking at the end.
Ymir stared at Krista wordlessly, unable to utter a single word as the reality of the situation brutally slapped her in the face.
Krista was blind.
Fucking blind.
Ymir staggered backwards shakily. It was just yesterday when she found Krista on the couch, sleeping−
Just yesterday when she cuddled her to sleep−
Just yesterday when Krista could still see.
"A-Annie? You heard that, right?" Krista asked desperately, stumbling forward and reaching into the air clumsily.
Annie immediately appeared by her shaken friend's side, wrapping an arm around Krista's shoulder supportively.
Krista immediately recognized the familiar hold and scent of the other blonde. She spun to face what she hoped was Annie, "I didn't imagine that!"
"Krista…" Annie started softly, her showcase of tenderness slightly surprising Ymir.
"I'm not hearing things!" Krista half yelled, agitated and shaking uncontrollably. "I'm not!"
"Shh," Annie soothed, running her fingers through Krista' hair gently, muttering soft words of consolation.
Krista's struggles against Annie's hold gradually weakened, until she was reduced to a sniffling mess. "I heard her voice," Krista sobbed brokenly, roughly rubbing away the tears that were still streaming down her cheeks. "I'm not hallucinating again, I promise," she pleaded.
Icy blue eyes studied Ymir, and the she knew that Annie finally accepted the her existence.
"I know," Annie replied, giving a small sigh before admitting, "I hear her too." She then turned to face Ymir, her expression stoic once more. Only her eyes gave her emotions away− her steely eyes that gleamed almost angrily, as if she was blaming the brunette for Krista's breakdown. In a flat voice, she asked, "What are you?"
Ymir shrugged, just as hopelessly lost. "I'm just me…"
Krista stood up abruptly at Ymir's reply− so quickly that she stumbled and almost tripped. "Ymir's here?" Krista demanded, her tone filled with utter desperation and anguished hope.
Unable to just watch any longer, Ymir reached Krista in three long strides. Krista had always been her entire world. Even if the world went batshit crazy... Krista would still be her first priority. She carefully held the blonde's wrists before confirming in a low, quiet voice, "Yeah, I am."
Hollow cerulean eyes widened and her mouth fell open in disbelieving wonder. "Can I…" her hands trembled, "Can I touch you?" On normal circumstances, Krista would have blushed at her words. This time however, it would be too cruel to poke fun at the heartbreakingly hopeful expression the blonde wore.
Ymir slowly guided Krista's hands to each side of her face. She stared into Krista's eyes, which were still as beautiful as she remembered, despite the hauntingly blankness that now resided within the depths of cerulean blue.
Hesitant and shakily, soft thumbs traced her cheeks before outlining her lips, followed by her nose. Ymir's eyes fluttered shut.
"Close your eyes, please," Krista whispered. Ymir nodded deliberately, so Krista could feel it. A small pause, before her thumbs continued to explore Ymir's face, brushing softly over her closed eyelids.
Ymir dimly noted that Krista had been holding her breath the entire time.
Her fingers then brushed over her scalp, slipping through the lengths of her hair until she reached her hair tie.
Krista's eyebrows shot up, and without warning, she grabbed fistfuls of Ymir's hair and tugged.
Hard.
Ymir's eyes snapped open at the sudden pain that spiked across her scalp. "OW, what the hell, Krista!" What was everyone suddenly so violent?
Her thoughts were interrupted by a choked sob that escaped Krista, implying that the blonde had recognized her. "Ymir," she whispered, her low voice full of emotion. She reached out her shaky hands to gently caress both of Ymir's cheeks; and her thumbs travelled downward to trace Ymir's mouth again.
Suddenly, she jerked forward and captured the brunette's lips. Her aim was slightly off however, and landed on Ymir's bottom lip instead.
Russet eyes popped open in disbelief.
Ymir watched, half dazed, as a fresh set of tears rolled down Krista's cheeks. Her heart tightened− she could never bear to see anything that remotely resembled Krista in pain.
… Jesus. She's getting soft.
Krista pulled back just as quickly and started peppering Ymir's face with light kisses; mumbling the brunette's name over and over.
As much as Ymir was enjoying this− and boy, was she enjoying this a lot− it didn't feel right.
Krista deserved to know.
Ymir placed her hands over Krista's, which were still on her cheeks, before gently prying the blonde's fingers apart to loosen her grip and lowering both their hands.
"… Ymir?"
Her hold on the blonde's hands tightened at the sound of Krista's sweet voice laced with confusion.
"I'm sorry," Ymir murmured sadly, "But I'm not the Ymir you know."
"W…what?" Krista managed to ask, her voice cracking. She recoiled, looking absolutely hurt as she yanked her hands out of Ymir's grasp. "What d-do you mean?"
At the blonde's crestfallen expression, Ymir knew she had just carelessly crushed Krista's exposed feelings, despite already being in such a vulnerable state.
"Hey," Ymir said as softly as she could, gently snaking her arms around the blonde's waist to stop Krista from retreating. She pulled the fidgeting blonde into a half-hearted embrace, with Krista's back against her chest. Ymir wasn't sure how to handle Krista in this state− the poor girl seemed like a frightened, cornered animal− she just had this urge to hold Krista close and show she meant no harm.
Krista squirmed uncomfortably, still attempting to break away from Ymir's hold. "Let me go, please," the blonde demanded, the volume of her voice rising rapidly. "Let me go!"
Krista was fully trashing now, and Ymir's first instinct was to calm the blonde in her arms. This somehow led to the brunette gently pulling Krista down with her as she sat cross-legged, leaving Krista no choice but to sit on Ymir's lap. "Whoa, hey now," Ymir murmured soothingly, "Take it easy, I'm not gonna hurt you." Her arms tightened around Krista's waist as the blonde continued to struggle against her hold.
"Annie?" Krista whimpered, her panicked state now painfully obvious. "Annie, help," she whispered, her voice almost cracking.
Annie had been hovering protectively over Krista all the while, and Krista's mumble of her name had triggered Annie to pop up behind Ymir, poised to wrench Krista out of the brunette's hold.
Ymir had noticed a flash of movement behind her and quickly jerked to the side, with Krista still in her arms. She shot Annie a look− one of powerful genuineness and utter desperation for just a chance. "Hear me out, Krista," she said quickly, before launching into a hurried explanation of all the crazy that just went down.
As Ymir spoke, Krista struggles gradually slackened. Her mouth had fallen open in awe and disbelief at the uncanny familiarity of her voice− it really was as if she was with her fiancée again…
By the time Ymir was nearing the end of her explanation; Krista had relaxed within her arms and was listening intently.
"So yeah," Ymir finished, exhaling heavily.
Cerulean blue eyes were still wide in amazement. "... But how?" Krista breathed.
Ymir shrugged. She then realized that it was a stupid move, since duh, Krista couldn't see−
"Maybe you lost your memory?" Krista tried.
Annie frowned skeptically. "Possibly…" Then, in a softer tone, "… But that doesn't explain who we buried."
Krista's expression dropped, but she quickly managed a weak smile.
Ymir noticed this, and against her better judgment; she reached down to give Krista's hands a light squeeze. The blonde squeezed Ymir's hands in return, and started playing with the brunette's fingers. It was instinctual− she used to spend hours with Ymir like this, sitting in Ymir's lap, with her back resting against her fiancée's chest, just absorbing each other's presence as she played with Ymir's long, calloused fingers.
She then realized there was something different this time− something seemed to be missing?
Krista tensed as it dawned to her... Ymir wasn't wearing their engagement ring.
Annie immediately noticed Krista's discomfort. Five months with Krista had left her completely tuned to Krista's feelings, and she was able to decipher Krista's expressions and actions, no matter how miniscule. She watched Krista continue to play with Ymir's fingers, just casually fiddling and stroking the brunette's nails. That was when she realized−
"Your engagement ring…"
Ymir frowned. "I was never engaged, remember?"
Krista shifted uncomfortably at the statement.
Annie studied the brunette's hand carefully. "You don't have a ring tan, either," she observed.
"Duh." She noticed the pained look on Krista's features and immediately felt guilty. Even though she wasn't at fault, she couldn't stop herself from mumbling softly, "Sorry."
Krista shook her head. "It's not your fault," she whispered.
A tense silence ensued, as none of them quite knew what to say next. It was broken after a while by Krista, who hesitantly asked, "Ymir?"
"Hm?"
"Do you have a tattoo?"
"Nope," Ymir answered, slightly puzzled by the question. "Always wanted one, though."
Krista's face fell. She retracted her hand from Ymir's touch, clasping her hands tightly on her lap instead. With her head bowed down, she refused to let anyone meet her eyes.
Ymir winced. She had caught Krista's expression before she looked away− an expression similar to a puppy getting kicked. Instinctively, her hand stretched out to hold Krista's trembling hands. "Your Ymir had a tattoo?"
Krista managed a small nod. "O-on the left of her back," she responded weakly. Then, in a smaller voice, "She got it after I said yes to her p-proposal."
Now, Ymir was rarely caught offguard. But she was sucked in so deeply within Krista's distress until the brunette didn't notice Annie standing up and silently approach her from behind.
Poor Ymir never saw it coming.
A sudden yank at her back tugged her hoodie upwards− past her shoulders, around her neck, revealing lots of skin…
And no tattoo.
"What the flying fuck!" Ymir roared indignantly, wrenching her hoodie back down. She tried to punch Annie, who had quickly taken a step back until she wasn't within the distance of Ymir's freakishly long arms.
"She doesn't have it," Annie confirmed, a frown lacing her features.
Ymir glared. "You could've just asked."
Annie just shrugged wordlessly.
In a voice so soft that no one could hear, the words tumbled out as a broken whisper.
"... This... This isn't my Ymir..." Her fears now confirmed; the words tumbled out in a broken whisper. Her voice was so soft that even Ymir, who was just a few centimetres away, failed to hear anything.
"You should lay low for the moment," Annie suggested gravely. "Until we find out what's going on, at least. If people recognize you, things can get out of hand."
Krista gave a small nod in agreement. "I've got some things you can wear," she offered softly. Her head was still bowed down, and the blonde was still clearly distraught.
Although Annie was wary to leave Ymir alone with Krista, she sensed that the two needed to be left alone to sort things out between them. Sighing, she stood up and excused herself, "I'll start on dinner." Before exiting the room, she muttered, "You know what to do if you need me."
Her last sentence was obviously sent to Krista, but Annie had muttered it in such a low voice that Ymir almost didn't catch her words. She was just about to argue that it was impossible Krista would've caught that, but to her surprise, Krista turned to face Annie's direction and nodded. "Thank you," she whispered.
Annie swung the door shut in reply.
"She's as cold as ever," Ymir noted.
"Annie's really sweet," Krista insisted. "She's one of the nicest people I've met."
"Her?" Ymir asked incredulously. "We're talking about the same person, right?"
Krista managed a small, amused smile. "Believe it or not, but Annie's actually really gentle."
"She flipped me the moment she saw me."
Krista laughed. It was a sweet, tinkling giggle which made Ymir warm all over and before she knew it, the brunette herself was cracking a grin. "Are you laughing at my pain?"
"A big bad wolf like you got flipped by someone around my height?" Cerulean blue eyes twinkled with mirth. "You have to admit that's funny."
"Harhar," Ymir rolled her eyes. "That midget packs one hella of a punch. And you say she's gentle?"
Krista's smile widened. "I never said Annie wasn't kickass."
Ymir snorted.
"Just so you know, you're one too, you know."
Ymir smirked. "A kickass?"
A sharp exhale escaped through Krista's teeth, which was probably the closest thing to a snort for the blonde. "No, a softie."
Ymir stared at the blonde disbelievingly. "...Say that again," she challenged. "I dare you."
Another happy laugh rang out, which Ymir felt rumble through her as Krista leaned backwards. With her back now comfortably leaning against the brunette's chest, Krista settled within Ymir's hold happily.
It was almost terrifying how they had clicked instantaneously. She felt so at ease— content, even— an emotional state she had never felt ever since her fiancée's death— that she actually shot back playfully, almost teasingly, "Or what? You'll tickle me?"
This was something her fiancée took pleasure in doing; and she had never let an opportunity to do so go. When Krista has asked her why, her lover had simply replied, "I love seeing you squeal and squirm from my fingers," which naturally turned the blonde into an embarrassed mess.
This Ymir, on the other hand, didn't seem to think that way. Instead, she paused, as if considering her options. Then, the next words that left her lips were something Krista would've have never seen coming.
"... I'll bite you."
"What!" Krista had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing again. "... You wouldn't."
Which… promptly resulted a light nip at the tip of Krista's left ear, causing the blonde to jump. "Ymir!" she half-shrieked. Krista could feel her face quickly heating up.
The brunette however, didn't even seem to even have a change in expression. "You totally had that coming," Ymir replied nonchalantly. "Deal with it."
Despite being still a bit embarrassed, Krista just smiled affectionately. "I forgive you, though."
Ymir smirked. "I don't remember apologizing."
The blonde just shook her head in fond exasperation, not even bothering to reply Ymir anymore.
They lapsed into a comfortable silence, just absorbing the presence of each other. Ymir inhaled deeply, breathing Krista's scent in– but subtly, so she wouldn't seem like some creep. Her eyebrows furrowed. This scent... wasn't like the fragrance of the Krista back at home.
Although both their scents were florally fruity, it just... wasn't the same. No, her Krista was more along the lines of strawberry vanilla, while this Krista was more.. lilac-y. Or was it lavender? She couldn't tell.
As Ymir internally debated the smell of the Krista Lenz on her lap, the blonde herself was in the midst of her own thoughts. After Ymir mentioned the word 'apologizing', Krista soon realized she had some apologizing of her own as well. She blushed lightly as she considered how to phrase it.
"Um..." Krista started timidly.
"Hm?" Ymir answered absentmindedly, still deeply contemplating the label of Krista's scent.
The blonde fidgeted, biting her bottom lip nervously. "…I'm-sorry-for-suddenly-kissing-you," Krista mumbled hurriedly, clearly embarrassed.
Ymir blinked, repeating Krista's rapid fire of words in her head. Then, she laughed. Resting her chin softly against the crown of Krista's head, she simply replied, "I'm not."
Once she registered the meaning behind Ymir's words, Krista tensed.
Ymir seemed to have sensed that she had just crossed a line− this girl was still frigging grieving over the loss of her fiancée; and here she was, blatantly flirting. It had just spilled out so naturally, like the daily playful flirty banters she used to share with Krista back at home…
Suddenly very aware of their close proximity, Ymir released her grip and leaned backwards slowly, resting her weight on her open palms against the ground. She was careful not to move to lower half of her body, so she wouldn't disturb Krista who was still on her lap. She was getting far too cosy with the blonde… Hopefully a bit of space would clear her head a bit.
Ugh. Her lovey-doveyness was starting to make her itch.
Meanwhile, Krista had immediately noticed the loss of warmth against her back. "… Ymir?" she asked uncertainly, already piecing the hints together. Although it took a while to muster her courage to voice out the question nagging her, her curiosity ultimately won. "…Were… were you in love with the Krista back at your home?"
Ymir tensed, her features twisted in a grimace. That was the only part she had chosen not to mention... This was something she decided the blonde didn't need to know. "Don't be ridiculous," Ymir retorted, trying to sound as dismissive as she could.
Krista frowned, but kept silent.
An awkward tension hung in the air as neither said anything.
After a moment, Krista sighed. You're lying, aren't you?"
Ymir resisted the instinct to flinch. "... What makes you think that?" she asked carefully.
Krista fell silent as she thought of her response. After deciding that honesty was the way to go, she slowly replied, "You treat me the same way my Ymir treated me."
It hurt a little to be constantly compared to her fiancée, but Ymir felt herself getting embarrassed. "Don't let it get to your head," Ymir replied gruffly. "Maybe I'm just like this to everyone." Okay, so that was absolute bullshit, but it wasn't like Krista would know.
Or not.
Krista burst into a short shrill of disbelieving laughter. "Really, Ymir? Really?"
"Shut up."
Somewhere among this, the two had ended up closing the gap between them. She wasn't sure if she had gravitated towards Krista, or vice versa; but before she knew it, Krista's head was resting against the crook of her neck. Ymir could freaking feel Krista's small exhales of air against her skin, and it took her entire willpower not to shudder.
"Tell me about your world," Krista murmured, snuggling deeper against the brunette.
"What do you want to know?"
"Everything," Krista mumbled happily.
"Like, the whole 'likes, dislikes, passions and fetishes' thing?"
Krista laughed again. "Sure, why not?"
"Hm. Start me off with something."
"Okay! Um… what's your favourite colour?"
"… Seriously?" Ymir couldn't help but to chuckle in amusement at Krista's innocence.
"Don't be picky," Krista complained. "It was the first thing that came to mind."
She tried her best to answer Krista's endless questions after that, which ranged from little things such as her favourite fruit, band, cocktail− all random stuff, really. By then, Krista realized how Ymir's interests weren't completely identical to her fiancée's, although they were awfully close. An example would be how her fiancée was a fan of the colour silver, while this Ymir preferred grey.
"Grey? That's so… gloomy."
"Does it even matter?"
Krista puffed up her cheeks. "Of course!"
Ymir arched an eyebrow. "Fine…. Chrome, then."
… Chrome. Was that even a colour?
"… Why not silver?" Krista asked, curious.
Ymir shrugged. "Why not chrome?"
"Hmm."
Another example would be how her fiancée's favourite fruit were apples− green apples, specifically, while this Ymir's favourite fruit were red apples.
"What's wrong with green ones?"
"They just don't taste as good as red. They taste so… green."
"… I see."
They also ended up on more serious subjects− from her job as a bartender, to how the Krista in her world wanted a puppy; and how the both of them have rarely seen each other for the past few weeks due to juggling extra shifts to afford a bigger apartment for their future canine.
The two even ended up on silly topics, like Ymir's confession of "I like feet", which was mostly just to tease the blonde.
They spent a couple of hours like that, with Krista on Ymir's lap, the two just conversing in low voices and Krista bursting into laughter every now and then.
"What now?" Krista mumbled, her cheek resting against Ymir's collarbone.
"Beats me," Ymir shrugged lightly, "Maybe we…" the brunette paused, her words trailing off. Now that the initial shock of Krista's condition was over; the weight of the situation finally dawned to her. She was freaking stuck in some… some alternate world and had no idea how to go back to her former life. "…What am I supposed to do until I find a way back?"
"You could stay with us till then," Krista offered.
".. You're awfully trusting, aren't you?"
Krista smiled. "Call it a gut feeling."
"But..." In a voice so soft, so lost, so uncertain− a tone so uncharacteristic from the usually cocky, snarky Ymir− "Do you really think I'll be able to go back?"
Krista felt her heart lurch painfully at Ymir's voice. "Think positively, Ymir," she tried to sound optimistic, "I'm sure it'll work out−"
Ymir sighed. "Don't sugarcoat it."
"… It's too early to confirm anything though…" Krista tried to reason.
But doubt had already started eating the brunette− she didn't know how she got here, why she was here, how Krista was doing back at home… Hell, she didn't even know what triggered this, for God's sake.
Despite not being able to see her, Krista seemed to be able to sense Ymir's inner anxiety. The way Ymir's body had tensed was a huge giveaway. Krista pulled back from the brunette's hold, tenderly untangling them before reaching out to search for Ymir's face. When the blonde found it, she gently caressed Ymir's cheeks. Staring at where she hoped Ymir's eyes were, she murmured soothingly, "It'll be okay, Ymir." Her hands then slide downwards, towards the brunette's neck, before straightening Ymir's hood.
Russet eyes widened when she realized that her hood was indeed inside out, which didn't make sense as how the hell would Krista know since she can't see?
Krista must've noticed the brunette's momentary stunned silence because she gave a gentle smile before explaining softly, "My Ymir's collar was always crooked."
Ymir studied the blonde carefully, before deciding, "I need to get wasted. Where's the nearest bar?"