A/N: I hate that it's taken me so long to update but I've been going through some personal issues and writing just hasn't been very high on the list of things to do. But not to fear! I promise I'm back on track! Chapter 5 is already written and will be posted as soon as I give it another good read-through because it's a pretty important chapter. I apologize in advance if this isn't the most exciting chapter I've ever written, but it was one that needed to be done. As always, R&R and 3

Goku wasn't really sure where he was going, all that he knew was that his body was telling him to run, so he did. Was that really…really him? He leaned against the side of the closest booth, thankful he wasn't drawing any attention. Panting from the run, Goku tried to collect his thoughts into something that was mildly coherent. That fortune teller was…The face of Jiao-long flashed in Goku's mind, and it took all of his strength to not have his legs give out on him and to refrain from screaming.

"I bet they're looking for you. I would bet that they're just waiting to finish you."

Goku shoved his fist in his mouth, his last ditch attempt to stop himself from crying. He had to admit to himself that he was scared, no, terrified; his body was shaking and he couldn't tell if his heart had stopped or if it was just beating too fast for him to feel it anymore.

"Goku!" The sound of a familiar voice calling his name made Goku freeze. Shit. They can't know. He forced his body to move, turning towards the source of the voice.

"Hakkai! Hey!"

"There you are!"

"Yup! Where's Gojyo?"

"Getting a beer. And Sanzo?"

"Sanzo? He was in the bathroom. I think I lost him though…" Goku did his best to plaster on a smile and make his laugh sound genuine.

"Don't be so quick to get rid of me." Goku jumped at the sudden presence beside him, but managed to stop himself from instinctively attacking.

"Hello there, Sanzo. Have you been enjoying yourself?"

"It's been," Goku pretended that he didn't notice Sanzo glancing down at him. "An interesting day."

"So it has!" Gojyo chimed in, coming up behind Hakkai.

"Well then, let's all have dinner and head back to the temple.

"Good. I'm starved!" Goku exclaimed, as if it were scripted. I know this. I can play along. I can't have them knowing. Setting his jaw, he took the lead as the foursome made their way to the restaurant section of town.

"You're the food expert. Where are we eating?" Gojyo asked, elbowing Goku in the ribs.

"Huh? Oh, I don't care," Goku mumbled.

"You…don't…care?" Goku looked up to see his three companions, confusion showing in their faces. Shit.

"Yeah…because I'm just so hungry! I could eat just about anything!" Goku prayed they bought the laugh he forced. Something told him they didn't if the way Sanzo's fingers snaking around his own was any indication. Goku cursed at himself inwardly. This is going to be harder than I thought. Truly, all he wanted to do was go back to the temple and sleep for as long as he possibly could, safe in his lover's arms. Instinctively, he squeezed Sanzo's hand tighter.

Not wanting to draw any more unwanted attention to himself, Goku quickly pointed to a random restaurant and insisted they eat there.

"Ramen?" Gojyo asked.

"Yeah, somethin' wrong with that?" Goku countered, terrified that somehow the red head had seen through his fake visage. Gojyo merely shrugged in response and held the door open for his three friends.

The restaurant itself was nothing special, but as soon as Goku stepped foot inside, he was assaulted with a flood of memories from many years ago, when he was still a child and hadn't experienced, and remembered, any of the injustices life throws in the way. He and Sanzo had eaten here plenty of times before, when the temple became too stuffy for the priest and he was in just a good enough mood to relent to his young charge's desire for something other than temple food.

"My, it's been a while since I've had ramen," Hakkai stated has he slid into booth, leaving enough from for Gojyo to fit beside him. Goku took the spot directly across from Hakkai, happy to finally be able to sit down and let his body relax a little. It wasn't until their waitress appeared and had taken everyone else's orders that Goku realized he had no appetite and his stomach seemed to flip over as he placed his order.

Instinctively, he took a sip of water, and then another, so that the other's wouldn't question why he wasn't speaking. He tried his best to block out the image of Jiao-long's smug face as he unmasked himself, but each time he blinked, the haunting, cruel smile returned. What does he want? Goku shivered as he asked himself that question, knowing that the answer was something malicious, twisted and sickening. Noticing that he has already down half his glass of water, Goku relented his mouth's hold on the straw and sat back, pretending to read the dessert menu.

"Hey monkey, why don't you wait until after you eat to decide on dessert?"

"There's nothin' wrong with plannin' ahead, Gojyo." Though the exchange had been innocent enough, Goku could feel the atmosphere surrounding them turn heavy.

"Is something wrong, Goku?" Hakkai inquired, his brows knitted together.

Looking him straight in the eye, Goku shook his head and smiled.

Their food came before anyone else could chime in and Goku stared at his dish, stomach churning and mouth dry. He looked around at the others; Hakkai was gingerly applying soy sauce and taste-testing in between drops while Gojyo had already begun shoveling the noodles in his mouth. Sanzo had yet to start eating, as he was busy studying Goku out of the corner of his eye. Looking away, Goku slowly swirled his ramen, his hand shaking as he brought his chopsticks to his lips. He tried to enjoy it, tried to find comfort in the warmth and tried to relish the taste, but all he managed to do was convince his body to accept it, and his stomach to hold it down.

"It's really good ramen, isn't it?" He asked the others, remembering that he had a role to play.

"Yeah, I'll say. Good choice." Gojyo gave Goku a thumbs up sign before continuing to eat at a rapid pace. Goku took a deep breath and increased his speed until he was even with Gojyo; it would be suspicious if he didn't finish his meal first.

"You don't have to gorge yourself, you know." Sanzo suddenly remarked as he watched Goku eat. Slightly startled, Goku dropped his chopsticks, giving Sanzo a confused look.

"I'm not," he replied, fishing his chopsticks out of his near empty bowl.

The group fell into a silence, one that greatly unnerved Goku. It was easy to tell that his behavior wasn't passing for "normal" with the other three, especially Sanzo. What did I expect? Of course they're going to notice. But…Jiao-long's face flickered in Goku's mind and he clenched his jaw. Against every fiber of his will, the memories of his torture were slowly creeping back into his head and he hated it. They only served to remind him of how utterly weak and helpless he'd been, how naïve and foolish he was. With one final gulp, he finished his ramen as a newfound determination surged through his body. He couldn't let the other's find out. Then they'd remember how pathetic he was. If Sanzo knew, he would remember how he had to save Goku's life.

"Well, that was most satisfying, don't you think?" Hakkai asked, sitting back with a content sigh.

"Yup! Let's head back to the temple before it gets too dark." Goku grinned, wanting nothing more than to convince everyone, including himself that things were going to be okay. Somewhere in the back of his mind, however, something told him that they wouldn't be.