Woohoo! I finished the third chapter! I tried to make it as heart felt as possible and I have edited it like gazillions of times! Hope you all like it! And also thanks to all the people who reviewed. It really means a lot. Well enjoy!
When the stars are the only things we share, will you be there? -Atlas Hands
Morning.
Its a funny thing. No matter what happens, morning is always rebirth. It has a property that can erase the past and carve a new future. A future where everything is ok.
But on this morning, Aang felt no rebirth. He felt nothing.
He had fallen asleep on the ground beside the bed and the hard floor had taken a toll on him. His back ached and his left forearm was numb from resting his head on it as he slept. His eyes were also quite tender and felt puffy from last nights events.
Aang silently arose from the ground and peeked out the window above his bed. The sun was just rising over the horizon. Dawn.
He knew that no one else was probably awake yet, so he went to the bathing room with as little sound as possible. Once he made it without waking anybody, he looked in the mirror above the sink.
No wonder his eyes hurt so much. They looked like balloons. He felt like such a baby for letting himself cry so much.
Besides his eyes looking like they had exploded, he also had marks on his face where he had laid his face on his arm, and a nice coating of dirt from the floor. He was a truly a mess.
So he took some water from the wash bowl and bended it so it cleaned off any remnants of the previous night. He didn't need the reminders.
After getting his face as clean as possible he went back to his room to change. Once again he took his steps as cautiously as possible. He was one step away from his room when a door on his right swung open. He tensed.
"Twinkletoes?" Toph whispered through the dark hallway.
"Sorry Toph. I didn't mean to wake you, I was just washing up…"
"You okay? Your heartbeat seems a little off.."
It probably was. Katara had basically ripped it out of his chest last night. He was sort of surprised it was still beating.
"Yea its nothing. I just couldn't sleep last night." Because he was too busy dying. He left that part out.
He could tell that she didn't believe a word he said, but she didn't press him. For once Aang was thankful for her apathy.
"Ok well you wanna go eat some breakfast?"
Aang's stomach rumbled in response to Toph. He had forgotten the last time he had eaten. It must have been before he even arrived in Ba Sing Sae.
So as Toph went to the kitchen to make some quick breakfast, he went to his room to grab a change of clothes. As he picked up his new outfit of the day, a small blue box fell out of his bag. He hurriedly snatched up the box and stuffed it in the back a his dresser.
He then changed trying not to think about that little package that he had brought with him and meant so much to him. He had forgotten he even had it after the wake of last nights events. Finally he finished changing and he made his way to the kitchen.
For breakfast, Aang fixed himself a bowl of oatmeal with lychee berries mixed in. Toph just chose a papaya from the fruit bowl and dug into it without a second thought. As she devoured her papaya she spit the little black seeds right a Aang. Some things never changed.
After a couple hard blows to the head, Aang finally retaliated with a lychee berry right at Toph's forehead. It hit her right between the eyes and left a red stain where it made contact.
Aang struggled not to laugh because he knew Toph would not let him get away with that maneuver. But he couldn't help it. And soon Toph joined in his laughter. Which surprised Aang but didn't cease his chuckles. It felt good to laugh. He didn't even mind when Toph earth bended his chair backwards suddenly and he fell to the ground with a loud crash.
His fall ended up waking Suki up who came into the kitchen and started cooking some seal blubber. She didn't question why there was a huge red mark between Toph's eyes or why Aang was sprawling on the floor, she just went about with her daily business. Her seal blubber eventually attracted Sokka from his deep slumber and he walked into the kitchen half dead also not worrying about the mess that Aang and Toph created. He just worried about the delicious meat that Suki was cooking.
After a few more minutes, Katara and Kantu came out, also attracted by the seal blubber and loud laughter still being emitted by Aang and Toph. As soon as she walked in Aang's laughter died and his mirth was replaced by his feelings from last night. His laughter had masked the feelings, but it hadn't erased them.
When Katara walked in, she didn't make eye contact with Aang, but she held onto Kantu's arm tightly. Like he could protect her from Aang's sorrow.
Everyone could feel the tension in the room as Aang went silent and Katara became distant.
"I could cut this tension with a knife, am I right?" Sokka joked as he swung a knife in the air chuckling. Suki discreetly jabbed him in the arm for his comment. Sokka didn't make anymore jokes after that.
"I think I am going to go meditate on the balcony..." Aang said, and left without letting anyone respond to his sudden change of attitude. He wanted to be alone. His wound was still fresh, and Katara and Kantu's presence just made it sting more.
As he crossed his legs and sat upon the railing that closed in the balcony, he shut his eyes and let the wind caress his face, curving around his cheekbones and meandering along his eyelids and flowing over his skull. He welcomed the chilled air of winter. It made him feel free and safe.
But sadly he was never free of his thoughts.
All he could think about was Katara. Even though she had let him suffer, he still felt a sense of guilt. What if he really had pushed her into marrying someone else. No. Katara was too strong-willed to do something like that just to get him back for leaving. No matter how much she changed, that quality would always stick with her. Maybe she actually liked him…that thought gave him a feeling of dread that pulsed through every corner of his body. He didn't want to focus on this topic anymore.
So instead he thought about the moments when he first saw her. The way she had reacted when he hugged her, before everything went up in flames. Aang thought she really loved him again. Its not like she pushed him away when he hugged her… and when he was about to kiss her, she hadn't moved an inch. She just stood there waiting, like this whole time he was gone she had just been waiting for him. He knew she had wanted him as much as he wanted her, because he could feel her need pulsing from her lips. But then she pushed him away as soon as Kantu arrived. So did she still love him or not…?
Why did everything have to be so complicated?
So much for meditation. This little outing had just made him more confused and hurt.
After a while of trying to actually meditate and think about nothing, he lost feeling in his fingers and toes, and he thought about going back inside. But as he was about to climb off the edge, he became conscious of another person standing behind him. He had no idea how long she was there.
"Aang. I'm so sorry." Katara whispered. There was gut-wrenching pain in every word.
"I didn't mean for you to find out that way." she continued. He realized that she was waiting for him to respond. Like he could say something to make her feel better about her betrayal.
"No matter how you told me, it would have hurt." He muttered. His words weren't malicious, they were just... lifeless. And he could tell that Katara was even more hurt by that.
"You can't blame me. I didn't think I would ever see you aga-"
"I know. I left you. I hurt you. It's my fault." Aang cut her off. He had told himself this sentence hundreds of times. But as he said it this time, he didn't add any emotion to his words.
"You don't understand. You didn't just hurt me. You broke me. I woke up to find that the boy I loved had left me. Without even saying goodbye!" She was starting to cry now. A small stream made its way down her flawless destroyed him. He could take any amount of pain, but seeing Katara in this state made him want to die. He immediately regretted every word he had said to her.
So he jumped up and ran to her side. He wanted to put his arms around her in a comforting hug. He wanted to tell her that he tried to say goodbye, but he knew he could never leave if he did. But she only pushed him away with all the strength she had. Now there were steady rivers of tears running down her face.
"I thought you loved me… and I trusted you…" She struggled to say through sobs, he voice cracking when she said "love".
"I did love you! And I still do!" he exclaimed. He desperately tried to find a way to convince her of what he felt.
But when he said that she only looked up at him. Her eyes were full of an icy rage that could kill on contact. Those beautiful eyes that once held love were now full of hate. And all the hate was directed to him.
"SHUTUP. I don't want your lies! You don't love me. Love is about making sacrifices for the other person. All you did was leave because you were a coward!" She practically yelled. Now her tears had stopped. They had been replaced by her rage.
Aang tried to reach for her again but she only stepped farther out of his reach. And he could feel that she wasn't just drifting away, she was leaving.
"Don't touch me. Ever." Her words were colder than the icy air blowing around them.
"Katara… I-I was trying to protect you!" Aang was starting to stutter now, and if he still had tears to give, they would be flowing. Why couldn't she just see how much he loathed himself. How guilty he was for leaving. How he wouldn't have done it if he'd known the horrible effects it had created.
"No. You were afraid of losing someone. So you ran. Just like you ran away from your people when you were going to lose Gyatso." Every word was a sharp bullet reminding Aang of his previous mistakes.
Aang was stunned. He wanted to say something like, "You don't mean that" or "You're wrong" but he said nothing.
So Katara did.
"You never loved me." She said it like she had finally come to a conclusion to a question she had always had. She said it like it was true. And all four words were so… final.
"You don't mean that…" For some reason this comment had bruised Aang more than the previous. It brought him a new feeling that he couldn't name. And with that feeling came one single tear. But this tear was not like the others. It was… bitter. As it ran over his lips it tasted like hopelessness.
His eyes begged Katara to take back her comment but all she did was cut him deeper.
"And I never loved you."
And with that she turned and walked away. Leaving him to think.
Maybe he was a coward when he left.
Maybe he was selfish.
Maybe she didn't love him.
But one thing that could not be questioned was his love for her. His love always remained unwavering, and even as he stood alone on the balcony, he knew that he still loved her.
And love is worth fighting for.
Man I love cliffhangers if you guys haven't noticed! Sorry for all the aangst but it just makes the love so much sweeter... :) Remember to R&R!