Chapter Three: Getting In
Carl's car, which has been destroyed beyond recognition on multiple occasions, but still somehow exists, was driving down the road late at night. In the back were Frylock, Meatwad, and Inuyasha. In the front was Master Shake, his seatbelt tied around his straw wildly.
"Hey, crank them tunes up!" Meatwad said from the back, making the 'raise the roof' motion.
"Tunes?" Inuyasha asked.
"The radio ain't even on!" Carl yelled back at them.
Shake reached out and turned it on; Britney Spears started playing. "It is now! ...The hell's this?"
Meatwad bobbed his head. "Aw, yeah, boy, here's a real gangsta for ya!"
Shake laughed. "Carl, you listen to this crap?"
Carl gulped. "Well, uh, she's hot. It's easier to think about doin' her when I got her songs playin'. Especially that one, hit me one more time... cause you know I'd hit it one more time, hahaha!"
Carl laughed at this. The rest didn't, and he looked at them awkwardly. Inuyasha didn't seem happy about it. Frylock looked out the window.
"Ohh, I get... wait," Meatwad said, scratching his head.
Shake changed the radio station again, to a country station. He quickly turned it off.
"Ohhh, I get it!" Meatwad said again. "You'd hit it... one more time! With that girl you like! You're talking about poker. STRIP poker, am I right?"
"That's blackjack, Meatwad," Frylock said.
Meatwad stared at Frylock. "...Oh. ...OHHH, I get it now!"
Carl's hands tightened around the steering wheel. "Hey! I'm usin' the word 'think' loosely here, but could you guys think of something else for a minute?"
"Hey, we're here!" Meatwad yelled, hopping up and down in the seat.
Shake peered out the window. "Finally! I think this seat is giving me a rash."
"Ummm, no. That's a gas station," Frylock told them.
"Gas?" Inuyasha asked. "Oh, for some reason that reminds me! I was looking for Naraku!"
"The Rock?" Shake asked quietly.
"Nachos?" Meatwad replied. "Carl, let's go to Taco Bell and get this boy his nachos. Believe me, I KNOW the nacho hunger. You do not just 'get over' it with hard work and willpower."
"I ain't buyin' him jack, Meatman."
Inuyasha pounded his fist against the car door. "Not nachos, Naraku! He's a powerful demon from my time, and-"
Shake's eyes went wide. "Demons! Call the exorcist!"
Meatwad looked confused. "Wait, ain't that..."
"Yeah, that's me," Frylock said. "Shake, it's not really the same thing. Listen... sometimes, when something is translated from another language, from another culture, it-"
"Lies and hypocrisy!" Shake yelled. "The holy order will pass judgement!"
"Oh, for the love of!" Inuyasha yelled and slammed his foot down, through the floor of the car, scraping against the road below and slowing the car to a stop. "All of you shut up! You're bothering Carl!"
Carl watched all this through his rear view mirror, his body frozen. "My... friggin' car..." he murmured helplessly.
Things were quiet in the car except for Shake turning on an easy listening station. Finally they arrived at The Lounge and parked.
"Alright," Carl said, getting out of the car. "Here's the plan. We'll stay until I've asked every girl in here for sex, or until one says yes. Fryman?"
"Yeah Carl?"
"Anything pisses me off, you blow it up. Meatman? ...You just stay in the car, there, buddy. Shake?"
"I help you find those chicks, right?"
"No, you keep your mouth shut and stay the hell away from me. And, uh," he pointed at Inuyasha, "Shi Tzu or whatever your name is, you follow me and if anyone asks, I'm your brother and I was born with elephantitis."
They all stared at him. Inuyasha frowned. "Carl, your brother? I thought we could spend time together."
Carl started sweating. "Oh, well we'll be together in a way, right? I mean, we'll be in the same building, that's kinda special too, you know?"
Inuyasha's eyes narrowed. "Are you trying to ditch me?"
Carl looked to the Aqua Teens for help, finding none. "Uh, y-y-you know that ain't true, I mean, we're friends right? Look, let's get in there and just have some fun, you know? Everybody have a good time--Meatman you stay in this damn car--and we'll all be happy."
Inuyasha sighed and they all walked to the door, except Meatwad, who sat in the dark, quiet backseat, looking around with that stupid smile on his face as if he were enjoying it.
"Hold it," a tall man in a suit said, sticking out his palm. "20 dollars for admission, and are all of you adults?"
"Look at him," Shake said mockingly, pointing at Frylock. "He's a damn box of french fries with a face. You think he's an adult? How could you ever know?"
"I'm not here to judge your appearance. Just some ID, please."
Carl fumbled around in his pocket. "Oh geez, 20 dollars... uh, you guys are paying your way right?"
Frylock sighed. "You actually think Shake has money?"
"Oh yeah!" Shake yelled hysterically. "I've got millions! In my Swiss bank account! I'll wire us a few grand and buy this whole club! ...But no, seriously, Carl, pay for me."
Carl rubbed his forehead. "Shake, go sit in the car, there."
Shake's eyes went wide. "HELL NO I won't! Give me the keys!"
"No keys, damn you! You are never driving my car again! Or did you forget the time I woke up and my car was on top of my friggin' roof?"
"You mean that day when the fire department had to...?" Frylock asked.
"Ohhh, yes. How could I forget all the fire that burned half my house down, and y'know, nearly killed me."
"You hurt Carl!" Inuyasha yelled, grabbing Shake with both hands.
"Ow! Hey, Magilla, break this up!" Shake yelled at the giant doorman.
"Not gonna happen," the guy said blandly.
"Answer me!" Inu-kun snapped.
Shake gulped, then laughed nervously. "Well, it's like... you know... sometimes we're doing things, and... these accidents come up. I can't place the blame ENTIRELY on Meatwad, but yes it's all his fault when Carl gets hurt."
"He's lying," Frylock said lightly, looking at Carl.
"Yes," Carl said calmly, with a slow sigh. "Yes, the, uh, cup is the bane of my existence, really."
Inu's grip tightened around Shake, making the styrofoam-like material creak under pressure. "Then you guys won't mind if I-"
"No," Carl and Frylock answered in unison.
"Yes, we definitely will," Shake added, looking at the two hopefully. They stared back at him, then at Inuyasha, who, after a brief pause, crunched Shake together at the middle and heaved him off into the distance screaming.
Shake landed head-first in a dumpster, stirring the rest of a scrawny hobo with bloodshot eyes.
"You want in?" the hobo asked raspily, impatiently awaiting an answer.
"Huh? 'In'?" Shake wondered, lifting himself up.
The hobo pressed his face right against Shake's, talking very quickly and angrily. "I said you want in, Jameson, you want in!"
"Uhh... yes," Shake answered hoping this was the right answer.
"Unhuh," the hobo replied, pulling away, seeming to rock himself unsteadily in his own arms.
"I have to go back to the world of sunlight," Shake said, trying to pull himself out of the giant box of filth. "You take care of this broken TV, how's that?"
"Unhuh," the hobo said again in exactly the same tone, his face twitching.
Shake landed on the ground and started to waddle away, his sides still crushed in to about half the normal size. After about four or five steps, he fell over and laid there lifelessly. The hobo watched him carefully and slowly climbed out, approaching him, kneeling over him. "...You want in?"
And so, Carl, Inuyasha and Frylock were set to go into the downtown club known only as The Lounge. What dangers would await them? What would happen to Shake? What does it mean to 'get in'?
Yes, I know, this chapter took awhile. You wouldn't believe how busy I've been, or how much of a liar I am.
So, this is my most popular story ever, and I've received a marriage proposal and a request to father children. It just doesn't get much better than that! The part I like most, though, is that people say I have the characters down so perfectly (except Inu). To me, it's an honor as a writer to have people feel that way, even if this is just ATHF.
So, a few replies are in order:
Penname wa Silver B: I can't see CarlxInuyasha either. And indeed, I know Inuyasha's out of character entirely. I want it to feel like he was just shoved in, with no regard for who he's supposed to be. Perhaps a statement could be made here about pairings that really don't make much sense to normal people but are pushed anyway. Of course, that's not why I'm writing this. I just like to make people suffer and/or laugh.
Katherine Grace: I'm on LJ, but the spread of this story there had nothing to do with me. I keep my Journal mostly secret because I'm sort of paranoid, but I may put it back on my User Profile. I'd be curious to know which community(if any) you found it on, btw.
Why-is-buggy-takeN: No, don't worry. No yaoi. This is not a spoiler, it's a simple fact of life: Carl won't return Inuyasha's feelings.
Kena: Give me your phone number. NOW. ahem
People who read this because I made them (Siris/Aniki/SexyCommando): Yeh. Thanks.
So, that's all for now, I'll try to update a little faster next time. So, keep those reviews, flames (where are all my flames?) and proposals of love coming.