I was camping with my family, laying down and getting ready to sleep. (It's midnight) Suddenly, I have to take a massive dump, and the bathroom is a walk away but very so, it is dark.
I get many aches in my heinie, and make a run for it. It's still pretty far though, considering how close a bathroom is to me at home.
Run in the dark road, the pain thickens. I'm thinking that I won't make it until suddenly: My lord and savior, Shrek has appeared. "It's not ogre yet, laddy," he says as he throws me towards the restrooms at remarkable speed.
I land, and I think some bones are broken, but I still have to poop.
I crawl towards the stalls and hoist myself on the toilet and do what I need to poo.
I wash my hands, and walk out the restroom. I look up and see in the sky, Shrek smile and waving as he fades into the night.
Long live Shrek.