Through the Tears

After my fight with Riddle, I needed to clear my head. When we shouted, it was … intense and that added on to everything else was completely stressing me out.

I knew it was against the rules but I walked outside to the lake with the intention of taking a relaxing swim. Walking over to the part of the lake that was farthest from the castle, I charmed it so that no one would see me if they were farther than one hundred yards away from me.

After quickly transfiguring my uniform into a bathing suit, I jumped into the cool, refreshing water.

I swam around aimlessly for a few hours and let the heat cool down. I was still furious with Tom Riddle but much less so than I was before. Deeming it safe for me to be around other people, I got out, dried and changed with the help of a spell, and headed off back to my dorm.

I entered to find Riddle sitting on a chair reading. Ignoring him, I started walking across the common room to my bedroom.

"I hope you haven't forgotten about the prefects meeting in half an hour," Riddle announces, still not looking up from his book.

I glared, making me feel better even though I knew he couldn't see me. His eyes were focused on the book.

"As a matter of fact, I did remember," I replied, lying through my teeth.

When no response came, I headed into my room.

That day had tired me out. Swimming, arguing with the future Dark Lord and all the pressure was really taking its toll and I decided to take a nap.

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I woke up hearing muffled voiced and I silently cursed. I completely forgot about the prefects meeting.

Quickly checking in the mirror to make sure that I was presentable, I opened my door and walked out.

When I emerged from my room, the conversation went silent. Ignoring their uncertainty of what to say, I turned to Riddle and said, "Thanks for waking me up."

He shrugged. "Sorry, I didn't think you wanted me in your room."

"Yeah, cause a simple knocking wouldn't have done the trick," I replied, rolling my eyes.

He just shrugged again. "I was just telling them what we decided. That there wasn't going to be a Halloween ball since Slughorn is already having on-"

"Slughorn is having a Halloween ball?" I asked, clearly annoying Riddle by interrupting.

"Yes," he said. "Everyone in the Slug Club is invited."

Clearly not wanting us to be distracted, a sixth year prefect continued when Riddle stopped talking. "He then told us that there was going to be a formal Christmas ball, a spring ball and a talent show for the first through third years."

I turned on Riddle. "What the hell? We never discussed any of that."

"Well, actually, we did discuss having a Christmas ball," he said with a smirk.

"Oh don't give me that bullshit," I replied, glaring. "What's the deal, Riddle? We're supposed to be heads together."

He snorted. "Yeah right."

"Do you not think I'm capable of keeping up with you?" Seeing the look on Riddle's face I saw that that was clearly what he was thinking. "May I ask who the only other person with grades as good, if not better in some cases, as yours?"

He remained silent.

"Exactly, Riddle. So cut the crap and stop being a total ass."

Riddle stood up to his full height – something that would have been intimidating for anyone who has seen less than I have.

"Grendell, you have no idea what I'm capable of. I suggest you do not cross me too often."

Simultaneously, we both turned around and stormed out of the hall.

Inside my room, I could hear a timid Ravenclaw prefect asking, "Does that mean the meeting is over?"

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Our fighting continued like this for weeks. Whenever we saw each other, one of us always started a fight with the other. A couple times it even led to wands, ending both of us up in the hospital wing (something that only caused more fighting since we were locked up in the same room together).

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Two days before Slughorn's Halloween ball hosted the biggest fight Riddle and I ever had.

Matteo, Malfoy, Riddle and me we were all in an empty classroom completing one of the assigned projects. This one was for Defense Against the Dark Arts and we were supposed to make a potion that would make an inanimate object like a boggart and then fight it off.

We were about two-thirds of the way through the potion we were making and I was currently mixing the potion.

Not looking up I said, "Malfoy, hand me some dried willow root."

I was surprised when Malfoy put it into my hand but I was completely shocked when he said, "Here you go, Hermione."

I could hear the question in his voice when said my first name.

Still stirring the potion, I asked, "What? No 'mudblood' today?"

"Um, no. Not today," he said. Thinking of it at the time, I realized that he hadn't called me mudblood in at least a week.

I let it rest and focused on the potion.

After stirring the potion twenty-three times clockwise, followed by twice counter-clockwise, I put the spoon down and said, "Ok. We have to let it simmer for about three days so we'll come back here the night after Slughorn's party to finish it off."

I looked up to see the three boys nod.

Just then, there was a knock at the door and a small third year entered. "Um, excuse me, but Dumbledore says he needs to see Zabini and Malfoy immediately."

I exchanged looks with Zabini and he headed off with Malfoy, leaving me a Riddle completely alone. I just knew that it wouldn't end well.

We started cleaning up the area. He took the ingredients that we didn't need anymore to the storage closet and I took all the remains of the used ingredients and walked across the room to put it in the trash.

Doing are different tasks, we bumped shoulders. "Watch it," Riddle mutters.

I shrug, "wasn't my fault." He rolled his eyes. "Something you want to say, Riddle?"

The glaring began. "Just because you have all your little Gryffindors, Zabini and Malfoy wrapped around your finger, doesn't mean that you own this place."

"You have serious problems if you think that I would even want to be in control of Malfoy," I told him. "Not everyone feels the need to be in command of everyone around them like you do."

Riddle started yelling. "You think you know everything about me, Grendell. You assume that you know what I've done."

"That's because I do know, Riddle," I shouted back, matching his volume and intensity. "Or should I be calling you Voldemort?"

His face went white but other than that there was no sign that what I had said affected him. "How do you know my … nickname?"

"We've been over this Riddle. You would be surprised by what I know. You think that by manipulating people to fear you into falling you is power? Power is not gained by hate. True power is having people fallow you willingly instead of wishing they could be free. Is that really what you want? To have people fear you so much that the very thought of you petrifies them?"

"What else would anyone possibly want?" he asked. "Why would I choose to be boring? Who would voluntarily choose to have a mundane life? A mundane job, a meaningless life … if I could change that, why wouldn't I?"

"You really are naïve if you think that." Riddle's eyes widened when I said that. "What is a life filled with anguish? If everyone fears you, how can you find love?"

Riddle's eyes hardened. "I have lived my life so far without love. If I can go this far without it, then I can live my entire life without having it."

I shook my head. "Riddle, your life is empty without love. Power is not something substantial enough to live on. Love is the only thing that really has any meaning."

"But what of hate?" Riddle asked. "Hate is just as powerful as love. It drives you to do things stronger than love."

I paused for a moment. "You mean killing?"

Wordlessly, he nodded.

I met his gaze and held it. My voice softer I said, "Hate is no stronger than love. You've killed out of hate. Well guess what, I have killed out of love. I killed people to try and save the world."

Riddle was absolutely shocked. "You've killed people?" he asked.

I nodded. "More than you have."

I could tell that it was too much for Riddle. Without a word, he walked out of the room.

A/N: you thought that last chapter was intense? Wow. This was by far the best chapter to write.