"Ponyboy I know you're upset, that doesn't mean you should ignore me," Darry said standing in my room.
"It's not that I'm upset that I'm ignoring you it's because you called my brother sick. He was crazy, right?" I said slightly raising my voice. Two-bit appeared in the doorway and I assumed Steve wasn't far behind. If Soda heard me yell at Darry like that, he would've started crying. That didn't occur to me at all then. I wouldn't cry, I was going strong. Getting tough like Dallas said. I thought I knew what he meant.
"I never said that," Darry said looking at Soda. I knew how he was gonna play it. It was his word against mine. No one would believe me because I seemed real upset. I know what I heard. Our eyes were locked. I never looked at Darry the same way after that. That was when I realised how much we needed Sodapop. He kept us togther.
"Okay Darry," I said before leaving the room. I was ready for the burial and so was everyone else. I decided it would be better to walk than ride with Darry. About halfway to the cemmetary I saw a man on the bench reading the local newspaper. I barely caught the headline but I did read "Sixteen year old boy commits suicide." It was only a little pargraph under some sports scores. The man smiled wikedly and started to laugh. I picked up the pace and hurried to the gates. People were already gathering around the grave. I was alone in a crowd of strangers. I didn't have Darry this time. He was a stranger too. They didn't lay the coffin in the ground. They had a little service and there was crying, but not like the funeral. I noticed on the coffin was a bouquet of flowers saying "In loving memory of my brother,"
I didn't talk to anyone after the funeral for quite a few weeks. If you don't attach yourself to people, it doesn't hurt when they leave. I didn't realize how much I needed the gang. I needed Johnny and Dally. I needed Sodapop and Two-bit. I even needed Darry and Steve.
"Pony, how's that creative writing coming?" Darry asked sitting on my bed. I really wanted to ignore him. I wanted to show I didn't need him but I just couldn't.
"I can't think," I said not meeting his eye.
"You're growing up, Pony. Your realising that not everyone is trust worthy. You think we don't care but we do. You are facing your worst fears. Losing your brother. It seemed like you loved him more than mom and dad. You can't just lok yourself away Ponyboy. Listen Pony, I was wrong," Darry said.
"If you get tough you don't get hurt," I said.
"No Pony. You risk getting hurt because you love someone. That's the risk you take when you get close to someone. It's worth it little buddy. Even if you're only close to them for a little while it's better than never knowing them at all. Sleep on it Pony. Tomorrow is Soda's birthday. Let's work on that story then," Darry said before kissing my head. I thought about that. I ouldn't imagine going on never knowing Darry, or Two-bit Or Steve. Everyone taught me something. Cherry taught me that things are rough all over. Bob taught me that everybody's got a dark side. Randy taught me to do what's right, even if people think you are crazy. Johnny taught me that I could stay gold. Dally taught me that even the toughest people have a breaking point. Steve taught me that you should keep your best friends close. Two-bit taught me that you can't drink away your problems. Soda taught me that you can't keep your emotions held up inside. Darry taught me that it's worth getting hurt if it means you can get close to someone. Everyone and everything has taught me one great big lesson, You have to carry on.