Chapter 1

There are times in your life when you try to block the thought you never want to appear in your head by overlapping them with other thoughts. At first I didn't understand why—why people wanted to shut out whatever it is that haunted them.

But then I understood.

After Rinto's death I promised him (somehow. Or maybe I didn't) that I would try to fall in love, at least. His death wasn't much of a worry for me, but the funeral was the thing that bothered me.

I rarely cry, except when I'm with Rinto. I didn't cry when I injured myself, I didn't cry when I had my first break-up with Rinto. . . I didn't cry when he died. So I cried before he died. But never the latter.

Funerals aren't my thing. It isn't anyone's thing, but I had to go and watch all those people—his friends, schoolmates who barely knew him, his family—grieve and speak words of wisdom, wishing him eternal peace wherever he is. But what's the point in grieving? He'll never come back, he'll never hear those words, and I am positive he's better off wherever he is; he no longer needs to endure the pain, he doesn't need to suffer.

Rinto, well, Rinto was a great guy. Captain of the basketball team, salutatorian and all that. He always was—is. Is a great guy. You won't see him ignoring others, whether they're geeks, bitches, or downright goths or emos. He's the president of the student council, and I. . . well I was the vice. I was his partner-in-crime. Despite the fact that he and I would always fight for the highest position or to be placed first in whatever event, we still loved each other and the world doesn't give a damn to us like we don't give a damn to the world. It was him and me.

And everyone questions me: What was the great Rinto's cause of death, oh Miku? That I never knew. . . And I'm afraid to find out.

Six months passed since then. Everything went back to normal, but many still remember him. I have nightmares of him every day. But these nightmares and memories of him are what keep me sane—the fact that the boy who loved me and the boy who died with a mystery was the very same one, and he existed. He may not have existed long enough, but he existed.

"Miku,"

Six months passed and I never tried to find the clues he gave me. Never even tried to look at pre-dating with Miku. For fear he died with regret lingering in his soul. For fear of the truth. . . The truth, sometimes, kills. And I can vouch for that.

"Miku," The high-pitched voice repeated, snapping me back to reality.

"Hmm?" I look at her, rub my eyes and give a lazy smile to the blond girl who stood in front of my desk, whose hands are placed on her hips. "What is it, Rin?"

Rin. . . Rin Kanami was Rinto's sister, or in other words, his twin. She's been my best friend before I got together with her brother. It didn't actually disgust her or anything. She was happy as long as he and I were happy. Sad story, though, is that she herself doesn't know her brother's past. Damn that boy.

"You've been spacing out the whole day!" She fumed, but I could see the sadness in her eyes. Like she knows why I was doing so. "It's almost lunch and Meiko-sensei already gave us an early dismissal in her class."

"Oh," I stood up, unhooked my bag from the desk and slung it over my shoulder. "Sure. Let's go."

She blocks my path to the exit and my body slams her small one, but I'm the only one who says "Oof!" . This girl may be small but she's a tough cookie.

Her eyes still had a hint of sadness, and I could feel the tears being held back. She bites her lower lip, to stop it from trembling. "You're thinking of him again, Miku."

I exhale a sigh and comb my fingers through my teal hair. "You know I can't not think of him, Rin. It's hard to forget a boy who's forgiven you of your sins, yet never told his. He's a freaking mystery. God, Rin, he's. . . he's haunting me."

"I know you just can't forget him, Miku. He's left too much in this world; he's left some sort of permanent stain in all of our lives, and you're the one he's stained on too much. Sometimes I wished he didn't. But not wishes can all come true," She closes her eyes and grins. "Damn you, Rinto." I laugh at her and the smile on her face widens, but her eyes don't change.

"You can't move on, I can't move on. But the world, even if it can't or doesn't want to move on, it has no choice. God, I hate talking deep. Can we. . . Can we just eat? We can look for the clues—"

"I don't want to look for the clues," We walk out of the room and I shake my head. "I don't want to play his game; I've had enough of them. . . I just want to know his past, okay. I want to find a way to let him forgive me." We reach the third floor, the rooftop, and I stop my tracks.

"He can't forgive you because you have nothing to apologize for. And why can't you just try to do whatever he's telling you to?" She opens the door and I mutter a thank you as we enter the rooftop. No one eats here except for me and Rin. Once upon a time, Rinto was a part of it. He's the only one with access to this place, being president and all.

"I-I don't know. Sometimes I feel like everything's my and his fault at the same time. I didn't even know why he died, how he died and that he was even dying. Heck, you don't." I point my finger to her. "And the hints he's giving me… It's all overwhelming." He thinks people can forget him as easily. It's like he thinks that I can be able to just forget his death and go on a treasure hunt.

"Well he won't find out, but— Uh, Miku?" Rin stiffens beside me, eyes wide and jaw-dropped, like she's seen a ghost.
"Hm?" I turn to look at where she's looking. . .

There he is.

The shadow of the building besides ours hides his face, but I could see him clearly. His silhouette matches, his height is very much the same. . . and his hair, his hair doesn't have the pins like his sister does, the back of his hair's tied to a small ponytail. But it's him.

The gray eyes, the golden hair, and the lost expression in his eyes—an expression I've only seen once. He's looking at me, and I am trembling. I think he said something, but I didn't hear it.

Rin's presence was the one that snaps me, though. She walks back, turns and dashes off. I don't chase her. My feet are glued to the floor and my eyes are glued to him.

He takes slow strides forward. . . and I could see him. In the flesh. He's not a figment of my imagination, he's not a dream or nightmare, he's not a hallucination conjured from my memories… He's real.

And alive.

Rinto's alive.

His mouth opens slightly, about to say something, but I run. I run toward him and throw myself to him, holding him as tight as I could. This must be a horrible prank or I'm just hallucinating, but screw it. I am not going to let go. Not now. I hear a snap and the rubber band that's tying his hair falls to the ground.

"Rinto… Rinto…" I say through sobs. "Goddamit Rinto. Don't be an illusion, please. You're alive. You're…" His shoulders stiffen, and he's silent.

Before I could ask him what's wrong, he holds either of my arms and pulls away from me. And that's when I realize: His eyes were blue… and his hair, it's oh-so similar, yet it's not.

"Uh…" His cheeks turn pink and he's averting my gaze, looking at the floor with interest like he's found the secret to immortality "I… I don't know who you are and I'm sorry, but you've got the wrong person."

"No," I snap. "You're him. You're Rinto. You're Rinto!"

He shakes his head repeatedly that his head might fall off. "I'm not Rinto… or whoever he is.

I'm Len Kagamine."

A/n: Kill me guys I'm running out of ideas.
I realized that I've been writing more of my own stories than fanfics. I don't know why but it makes me comfortable, like I can be the one to make the personality of my characters… -shrugs- it just sounds fun, or something. Like I can truly express myself when I write my own… Ugh. But I'll still continue this fanfic, won't update every week, though. But I'll still update. And I might update Second Chances in a few weeks time. God, I need to get my game together. I know that the plot's going too fast, and I'll fix it. I promise I will. Somehow...