I wish I could say that things became easier from there. That on the first night that walkie-talkie was delivered, she talked to me and we became friends instantly. But things are not really that simple. If they were, we would probably forget the actual happening of things pretty soon, I suppose. I mean, it wasn't hard to achieve from the very start. So, why should it remain in my memory for longer? Memory does not work like that either, there's no point in dwelling in it.

Anyway, we went to school together. We just didn't talk. Ever since she got here, we actually even went to the same classes. I guess I never mentioned it before because we didn't exactly talk or were part of each other's radar in any sort of way. She was just a stranger's face and I suppose I was one in my own account, as well.

The problem is that since I gave her that thing, I couldn't help but notice her. On the first day after I dropped it at her house, I looked at her. Try to gauge for any reaction in particular. To see if she even looked at me, and thought I had been a weirdo or something. But nothing really changed. She kept busy in her own way, and I did too.

I started thinking it might have been a waste. To give half of my present to a person who wouldn't lay a hand on it. It would stand there and be useless like it had been up to the moment. It almost made me sad. The saddest part, though, was that I could have done something very simple, like walk up to her and tell her to give it back. But I didn't. I couldn't. I don't know why, but I found her intimidating and I couldn't change that. I could have tried to change myself, that probably would have been easier.

Then, one day, we were paired up to do a class work on marriage. Or more like the apparent digression of marriages now a days. We had to discuss it between ourselves and then, discuss it with the class. Seemed simple enough. Except my mate for the discussion was Sian. And if I couldn't talk to her, how would I be able to discuss? It worked more as a rhetorical question.

She didn't seem to be so much better at it than me. Just remained quiet by my side. It was getting uncomfortable. Very much, indeed. Even the teacher looked at us in confusion. It was understandable. I mean, everyone talking animatedly in every seat and then two who look up front without saying anything. She didn't intervene, though. I guess it is one of those ages where adults let kids be kids and work out their differences. Learn the right ways to treat someone on their own. And if you get it very wrong and do something awful, then maybe then intervene. It is kind of a backwards way of thinking, but actually pretty accurate. We make our own decisions, after all. It wasn't until almost the end of "discussing time" that Sian in a low voice and changing her look from the front to downwards, said something along the lines of:

"I think it is right. People shouldn't get married."

And then discussion time was over. It was short, but I wish I could explain how much emotion that phrase conveyed. She said it in a way that made all the silent time a preparation to say it. Like it broke her heart. That phrase, that discussion. Even marriage, especially marriage. And it's strange. It reminded me of the time she appeared in my doorstep drunk and I couldn't understand it. That I knew something was wrong, but I couldn't go further than that. And now, I just knew it was wrong that a 12-year-old girl wouldn't believe in marriage. It's that age where we believe in the forever love, prince charming and whatever. The age where everything starts being possible. So, to cut out the possibilities is simply wrong.

My mind remained in those words for the rest of the class.

When I got home, I still couldn't forget it.

When I watched an old Spice Girls concert with Rosie, I still couldn't forget it. And Melanie C was totally making that stage her bitch, so it was actually entertaining.

When I had dinner and, my dad and mom talked animatedly and changed amused glances as we all talked; I most of all couldn't forget it.

So, when I got to my room, I grabbed the walkie-talkie and after three glasses of water and considering that my voice could be heard be enough, I decided to talk.

"Hello?"

I actually pushed the radio for interference button several times to call her attention. And granted, it was the fun part of using a walkie-talkie, so I might have enjoyed it a bit much. No answer came, though. I thought it was easier that way. I could talk and it would be giving my opinion, finally. Not needing to worry about getting intimidated.

"I think, I think marriages are good. And it's a shame people don't do it so often. I mean, I think my parents are glad they did it."

It wasn't much of a statement, really. But it was something. So, it made me feel better. I went to bed without remorse, and waiting to be greeted by chipping birds in the morning.