Chapter Seventeen

I could not even describe what it was like to be with Tom. He was everything girls dreamed about. He was the perfect gentlemen, fun, teasing, sweet, charming, nice, sincere, caring loving...and all because I had separated him from Voldemort.

Our relationship had earned a varied array of reactions. There was resentment from Malfoy, disapproving from my friends, skepticism and disbelief from Lisa, jealous girls and much to my surprise, even some jealous guys.

I did not care what they thought though. Tom was all that I thought about, outside of classes, of course.

Everyday he told me he loved me, and everyday I responded with the same phrase. What more could I want?

As much as I tried to deny it, there was a part of my mind, however small, that was shouting at me to realize who I was dating.

This was the part of me that contained my old life, a life I was not ready to completely let go. I still wore the locket that reminded me of all my friends and the order of the phoenix, but I thought about them a little less everyday.

I did not know if that was a good thing or a bad one.

I could not forget about Harry and Ron, though I would not want to. For six years of my life, they fought beside me, they laughed with me, protected me, saved me, and were always with me.

I would never forget about them and that was why a small part of me still held resentment toward Tom.

I could feel myself splitting, torn. There was the old Hermione, who was screaming at me to stop the relationship, to realize that I was in love with Voldemort, the man with the potential to end the world. She screamed at me, yelling that I was betraying everyone I had known before-my parents, Ron, Harry, Ginny, The Weasleys, Dumbledore...

Then there was the new Hermione, the one who had moved to the past. The one who had fell for the target, the one who wanted nothing more than to be with the man who destroyed her life...the one who was happy.

I was having an internal war, each side was trying to win through whatever way possible. How could I choose between the two? Either way, I was changing who I was and ignoring a part of myself.

Usually, I would make a compromise, but there was none to be made here. Other times, I try to pick the lesser of two evils. But when the two evils are so horrible, losing Tom or losing my past, the two evils are so horrible that I would not be able to choose.

About a month after Tom and I had told each other that we loved them, the decision was made for me.

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I groaned and stood up. I tried to give Tom a week smile but I was interrupted when another wave of nausea came over me and I doubled over and threw up again. Tom was there holding back my hair like he had before. I was lucky to have him.

When I was sure I was done, I walked over to the sink and brushed my teeth to get the foul taste out of my mouth.

I groaned again.

"How are you feeling?" Tom asked.

I glared at him. "How do you think?" He smiled at me and shrugged.

I could not help but smile back, Tom has that effect on me.

"That is the second time that you've thrown up this weak," Tom said, concerned. "Maybe you should see Madam Hooch?"

I shook my head. "I probably just have a virus or something, there's no need to go to the Hospital wing for a bug."

"If you're sure," he responded.

I smiled reassuringly and told him that I was.

We walked out of the bathroom and headed toward our third class of the day, Arithmacy. On our way there, we ran into Matteo.

He shot an envious look at Tom, one that I missed, and said, "Hermione, do you mind if I talk to you for a second?"

I nodded, "Of course."

There was a pause and no one moved.

Matteo cleared his throat. "Can I talk to you alone?"

"Oh, sorry. Sure," I turned to Tom and told him that I would meet him in the classroom.

"Alright Hermione," he told me. "I'll save you a seat."

I grinned at him and watched him walk away before turning back to Matteo. Had I been paying closer attention, I would have seen the slightly pained look on his face during mine and Tom's interaction. At the time, though, I was oblivious.

"I have to talk to you about Riddle," he said nervously.

I was slightly confused, though I told him to continue.

"Don't take this the wrong way Hermione," he said. "But I'm worried about you. A while ago, you and Riddle were always fighting and I was sure that one of you would kill the either or get the other kicked out of school. And now you're dating." His voice cracked as he said the last word.

"I know that," I told him. "I was wrong about Tom, I guess I just didn't really give him a chance."

Matteo had more to say. "That's not what I mean. I'm concerned. You haven't been in this school as long as I have but Riddle is not the kind of guy that you should be going out wi-"

"You think I should break up with him?" I asked. There was a slight edge to my voice, one that Matteo sensed and he took a different approach.

"Just listen please," he asked. I nodded curtly and he continued. "About a year and a half ago, I passed Riddle and a group of slytherins. They were in an abandoned classroom and I could hear what they were saying. It was like a cult. The slytherins were bowing to Riddle and saying that they would do whatever he asked. It freaked me out, Hermione. You shouldn't get involved with that sort of thing."

I did not know how to respond. I did not want to tell Matteo that I knew perfectly well what went on with Tom and the other slytherins, after all, his friendship was still important to me.

"Don't worry about it," I told him. "I'll ask Tom and see what he says about it. Unless you were there for the whole time, I doubt that you could get the full story of what they were doing."

Matteo's face hardened and I regretted my words. He was trying to look out for me and I was completely shooting him down.

"I'll keep my eye out though," I added, trying to comfort him. "If anything strange happens, I'll come find you. I promise."

Matteo nodded, knowing that that was all he could hope for.

He started walking past me and paused. Touching my arm he said, "Just be careful, Hermione. I would never want to see you hurt."

He continued to walk and luckily his back was turned to me and he could not see that incredulous expression on my face.

"He has it bad for you."

I spun around to find Tom standing there, apparently, he had listened to the entire conversation.

I shook my head. "What are you talking about? I thought that Matteo didn't fall for girls."

"Yeah well, neither did I. That is, until I met you," Tom told me.

I still remained skeptical though. "Please, Tom. Matteo? There is no way at all. And besides, I'm with you now."

Tom smiled as I said this last part. Sometimes it seemed like our relationship was just as hard to believe for him as it was for me. That thought was somewhat comforting.

"Just trying to make sure you knew," Tom said. "And trying to make sure that you don't decide you like some ravenclaw better than me."

I smiled at him. "Don't worry about it. I don't think we're in danger of that."

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It was a few days later when I realized that my "virus" was nothing of the sort.

I was in my Transfiguration class when the now-familier nausea took over.

"I'm going to be sick," I managed to squeak out, and I ran for the door and to the nearest bathroom.

I barely made it but I was lucky enough that I did not throw up all over myself.

Then it hit me.

Oh no, please don't let me be right.

A/N: so...what do you think is wrong with her? It's actually not that hard to guess but I'm curious to see if you guys get it right.

review?