Chapter Nineteen

I arrived back in my original time and cried. What else could I do but let the tears stream down my cheeks? It seemed like they would not stop. I did not even know where I was but at the moment, it was the least of my concern.

After what I assumed to be about half an hour, I attempted to calm myself down, an action which took a good ten minutes.

Then I looked around and felt the urge to bring back the tears.

I was staring at Hogwarts. The spell must have sent me back to where I cast it. I heard voices coming to my right and I had to consciously remind myself to breathe. I did not want to be found.

I cast a disillusionment charm on myself and hid behind a tree. I was on the edge of the forbidden forest and I ran to the nearest shelter I could find.

The voices got closer and I made my breath shallower. If I got caught for something as stupid as breathing too hard, then I might as well have just stayed in the past.

My breath caught in my throat when I thought the words, 'the past.'

I shook my head to clear those thoughts. Don't think of that now, I told myself. Just stay focused.

Unconsciously, I put my hand on my stomach and let it rest there.

My attention turned back to the voices and I was able to understand them.

"Will you shut up!" I heard a man yell.

A snort was the response. "And who are you to give that order?" A shrill female voice snapped back. I instantly recognized it as Bellatrix's, I shivered. "We wouldn't want some anonymous tip to the Dark Lord that a certain follower of his was being disloyal, now would we?"

There was silence, whoever had spoken was obviously intimidated.

"Let me remind everyone of the plan," I heard Lucius Malfoy say. With a shock, I realized that it was a slightly lower version of Liam Malfoy's voice. I mentally slapped myself on the head, not wanting my thoughts to go down that path.

"We are to kill anyone we see without any hesitation after the Dark Lord gives the signal, you all know what that is." Snickers went around the group. "Then," he continued, raising his voice to silence the other death eaters. "We wait until we are given the second signals to start taking prisoners. Up until then, we are to not waste time and to kill everyone. Just as Our Lord has ordered, there are only a handful of people who you are to leave alive if you face them. You may leave them tortured and maimed, but alive none the less. Obviously, Harry Potter. Then there are the leaders of that pathetic group, Order of the phoenix, the youngest Weasley boy and that Granger girl, the mudblood who hangs around Potter."

I shivered as I heard my name. Was that why I was able to beat so many of them? Because they were not allowed to kill me? I could not help but feel the injustice of that. If it was someone like Ginny who had been given that protection, would she be alive instead of me? If they had been allowed to kill me, would Ginny have fallen in love with Tom instead of me?

I did not want to think of the answer.

But then again, they seemed to have forgotten that specific order. After all, Ron was dead, everyone in the order, aside from Lupin, was dead. Or at least, they would be in a matter of hours.

I shuddered at the thought. I wanted nothing more then to go up to Gryffindor tower and wake everyone up. I knew that I could not though. My last encounter with time travel, if anything, taught me that nothing can meddle with the outcome of destiny. Nothing.

With a start, the thought hit me that I should still be listening to their conversation and my attention turned back to the death eaters.

"We will finally be in control," someone said.

Agreements went around the group.

"It's about time. The Dark Lord has deserved this for such a long time. After tonight, no one will stand in our way."

"We will watch as everyone there is killed. We will see to it that Our Lord receives what is rightfully hi-"

In unison, I heard a hissing go around the room. I knew enough to assume that it was their Dark Marks which were burning. The signal for the final battle.

I summoned Harry's invisibility cloak. I knew that he would not even look for it tonight, it would not hurt if I had it.

In a matter of seconds, the piece of cloth that held so many memories was flying towards me. Not removing the disillusionment spell, I threw the cloak over myself and followed the death eaters.

I knew it could be risking my life, but I had to see everyone one last time. As stealthily as I could, I followed the death eaters.

Since I was a far distance behind them, they reached the destination before I did, and by the time I got there a full out war was going on.

I immediately regretted my decision to watch.

I did not know what I was expecting. It certainly was not their smiling faces or to see Harry and Ron laughing, but anything but this would have worked. I saw pain and the realization of the fierce truth in their expressions.

I desperately wanted to move but I was mesmerized by the horror in front of me. A deer in the headlights of a car, I was trapped by my own fear and although I willed them to, my feet would not even twitch.

I was trapped watching the horror I had escaped half a year ago.

I was forced to watch as I saw all their deaths once more and I was furious with myself for making this decision. However small, there was a sense of pride in my heart. Although they did not look like the friends I had grown up with, the battle making them seem hard and cold, I felt a certain pride in them as I watched their bravery, determination and selflessness.

I knew they were about to die so I focused on the good things I could see. I saw the devotion to the light side in all of them, each one fighting for love and justice. I saw the skill in their movements, managing to take out multiple death eaters before the were put to a stop. I watched as they sacrificed themselves to keep others safe.

Most of all, I saw the love that drove them all do fight. And, however horrible the situation it was in, that love was something I desperately needed. Yes, I did love the friends that I had made in the past, but they could not compare with the friends I had here because they were not my friends, but family. No, they were not even family - they were a part of me. Each one of them was more important to me then I knew how to say and I clung on to the knowledge that I was just as important to them as they were to me.

Then that moment came. The moment when Voldemort entered and he was fighting Harry. I could not watch it for a second time and I turned to look at myself.

At that moment, I realized just how much I had changed from an innocent first year, to the woman that I am now. I saw myself kill unsuspecting people without hesitation. It had been for the light side, but on some level, I could not help but think of it as murder.

Worst of all, my face was stony as I did it, expressionless. That scared me more than I can say. Did I feel no remorse? Did I not think of their families? What thoughts were going through my head? What made me change so much? ... Could I really be that cold?

Then it happened. Harry was dead. He fell and it was just Voldemort and me. I watched as we talked, wondering why Voldemort had not just killed me.

I watched our conversation.

"Since you're the last one still fighting, I must kill the only thing that stands against me," I heard Voldemort say. Could that really be my Tom? How did he not recognize me?

I listened to my response. "You're right. It's only me left. But that won't stand in my way. The right side will win – even if that means winning alone." I was surprised by the conviction that my voice held? I did not know that I held that much courage.

I pointed my wand at myself and started chanting the curse that would lead to the most unimaginable experience.

I watched as I introduced myself to Voldemort. Was I stupid? I doubt he would care if he knew my name or not. He had changed too much to remember a girl he had fallen in love with so long ago. "Hermione. It was nice meeting you."

I watched as I disappeared. Looking at Voldemort, there was a look of complete disbelief in his face. "Her-Hermione?"

I was shocked and although I did not admit it to myself, a little pleased. So he does remember, I thought to myself.

Voldemort continued to stand there and I watched the emotions go across his face as he put all the connections together. I watched as the last one was pure hate and anger, and I knew that it would be my only chance to escape.

Completely silent, I sneaked out of the hall. Once I was a safe distance away, I apparated to a place I knew was safe.

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Voldemort could not believe what had just happened. "Her-Hermione?"

Of course, he thought, everything makes sense.

Everything clicked for him in that one moment.

She came back to kill me but ended up falling in love with me. Or did she? Was she just playing me the entire time. He shook his head. No, that time we shared was something you could not fake, no matter how good an actress you were.

Then why did she leave? What was it she said?

He stood there in silence for a moment as he thought about how she had left a letter fifty years ago. He waved his wand and it appeared before him. His eyes found the section immediately, accustomed to reading the words over and over again.

One day, you will understand the full reason. In fifty years, I want you to think about where you are in life and think about the way you are now. Then you'll know why I have to do this.

His eyes traveled farther down the page.

You are meant to go down a different path, as am I.

He knew why she had left. Hermione knew that he would become Voldemort and wanted to protect the baby. A part of him had always wished that he had chosen the life with her, where they would have kids together. But he had learned to suppress that part.

So this is where she was all those years, he thought. I searched for her for so long but I could never find her. It was because she was in the future. A thought hit him and his eyes narrowed. So did she come back to this time when she left?

He somehow knew that she did. I will find her. I will find her and my child and I will take back what is mine.

Voldemort took out his wand and cast a nonverbal spell that immediately woke up all the death eaters that had been knocked out. The Order was foolish to leave them alive. It did not matter either way to Voldemort, though. Every one of them was expendable. After all, this was only a fraction of his supporters.

When they had all gained back their wits, he amplified his voice and grinned. "Nothing can stop us. We will deal with the pathetic Ministry of Magic, then the muggles and then the mudbloods. In no time at all, we will be victorious." Cheers met this announcement, but Voldemort cut them off. "In the mean time, I have a little assignment for you."

Voldemort's grin became even more menacing as picked out the smartest death eaters and told them their new assignment: to find Hermione.

A/N: That was long. Or at least, it seemed like it was for me. But I have to type it all so I'm just complaining because my fingers are tired.

Anyway, enjoy the chapter? What do you think will happen? (I love hearing people's predictions of the story.)

review?