Here is the next chapter as we're getting close to the end of the story. Also I don't own the Hunger Games trilogy. I'm so sorry for not getting this chapter out, I had injured myself in December 9 which I sprained it so I had to rest it.

Chapter 17: My heart is breaking because of Peeta Mellark

Katniss

I woke up to see my mother, Prim, Cinna, and Portia looking right back at me. I tried to get up, but I hear someone say "Katniss you need to lay back down, you've been through a lot right now." I looked over to see that it's no other then Gale. I spoke softly "What happened all I can remember was getting ready for my marriage to Snow. Then everything was like a nightmare as I went down the stairs to see Snow, and then we finally got married. But after that I don't remember anything else after that." They all looked at me as my mother spoke only to me "Honey I'm afraid that we did get to see what happened to you. The rest of us were trapped in this crystal ball, but all of the sudden the crystal ball broke. This set us all free from the prison with the help of Queen Mellark. As we all went out to see where we were until we saw Peeta carrying you in his arms. He had taken you up to your bedroom here in this palace. Your sister and I were told to stay here while Haymitch and Cinna tried to. . ."

I smiled as I spoke out "Oh Peeta, where is he, I knew he could do it. He saved me didn't he, and I knew he would so where is he. I want to tell him how much I love him, and tell him that I'm so glad he save me. Where is Peeta, yet I know that he has been here. Tell me!" As then Cinna was the next to talk as he said "Katniss, you have to understand that the curse on Peeta has changed him. He had to only save you from Snow, so that you would be safe from him, and to not be afraid anymore. Katniss, honey I believe that Peeta had gotten injured while fighting Snow, so when Haymitch and I got to him. He was not himself; I believe that he thought that he could never have you ever again. So he pushed us out of the way and left honey." I could register what they were saying; until it came to me like a bus hitting a train, and that is when I could feel myself gasping for air. I could feel myself tearing up as I kept gasping for air as I said "Not here, Peeta's not here. He's not here, he doesn't love me, he doesn't love . . ." As then I hear my mother say coherently "Katniss, please breath my dear sweet daughter. We never said that Peeta didn't love you. Please Katniss breath." I feel myself crying as I put my hands to my face. I just couldn't take it anymore, and what was worse was that everyone is watching me cry like a baby. I start to feel myself feel my throat start to tighten as I start to gasp for air. As then I hear Gale saying "We need her to fall back to sleep, or she'll choke herself to death. Cinna, Portia do you guys have anything?"

I then hear Cinna respond with "Don't worry your highness and Gale I have something that will help her." As then I feel something on me; I look up from my hands to see Cinna ejecting something in me. I start to feel oh so sleepy as I feel myself batted my eyes as I said "Peeta, where is Peeta?" I looked over to Cinna as he said "Katniss, you need to sleep. You need your rest right now okay. I know that this will make you think that this is mean of us, but you need to stop thinking of Peeta right now. We need you back to your old self again okay." All I could do is keep repeating "Where is Peeta, I need Peeta, where is Peeta." Cinna pushes me in a gentle way to get me down on the bed as he says "Sleep Katniss and you will see him again." I do as he says as I start to feel the sleep trying to take over me.

Just as I was about to fall asleep I hear Cinna say "I'm afraid that it will only get worse from here." My mother spoke next "What do you mean Cinna? What will happen to my daughter?" Cinna had responded back with "I'm afraid that if Peeta doesn't come back, that we'll lose Katniss forever. You see Peeta and Katniss are soul mates; once you bring them together their love becomes so epic that nothing else matters to them, but mess with it then bad things start to happen. I believe that once Snow had put those spells on them that nothing has been the same. Katniss will become an empty shell of herself. This won't be good for us and for Peeta that is if he decides to come back." I then here Gale say "Well what if she marries someone else what will happen then?" Then Portia replies with "It doesn't matter who marries Katniss, she'll still become an empty shell. She'll just be very far away from anyone, and she'll just do things robotically." As then I start to fall into a deep sleep, and dream of my Peeta.

In the dream I'm in the forest wearing a beautiful green medieval dress. My hair is down as I looked up to see the beautiful green leaves, and I can't help it but spin around. I start to giggle with happiness as I stopped and I started to walk through the forest. As then I hear someone say "What are you doing here?" I turned around to see Peeta Mellark naked in all of his glory. I spoke softly "Peeta is that you? Am I dreaming?" I start to walk to him as he puts up his hand as he yells out "Stop! Don't go any farther! We can't do this anymore Katniss." I looked at him oddly as I said "What do you mean that we can't do this anymore? What are you talking about Peeta? I just found you, so why are you acting so cold to me."

He then looked down at the ground for only a second as he looked up back at me. He then gave an angry look as he said "Because you belong to Snow! You married that bastard, and now we can't be together. I knew you were always a slut!" I stumbled backwards as I hit the tree; as I grabbed it for support, and I whispered out "I belong to Snow, I'm married to Snow, I'm Snow's wife. I'm a . . . a slut. Peeta why are you doing this to me? I love you Peeta Mellark." He only looked at me with cold eyes as he spoke in a cold tone "You love me that is a really good joke! You never loved me, and you only used me for sex! You just want to make out with every jerk you meet! I bet you if Gale came right up to you and fuck you right here and now."

I could feel myself starting to tear up by his words; they have become so hurtful, and so mean that I have a hard time believing in what he's saying. I start to fall to the ground as I feel myself shake uncontrollability as I hear him say "Oh does poor baby Katniss feel sad that I made you doubt herself. Did I say something mean? Did I make her cry? How mean of me, and after all she did break my heart. I'm only doing you a favor bitch; I mean you were the one that sent me away! How about I kick dirt in your face and call it even!"

I looked up to see him walking closer to me; as I yelled out "No, leave me alone! I don't want you like this. I want my Peeta, who is sweet and kind. Not the one who is mean to me, I don't want you if you're going to be like this." As then I feel him pick me up as I squeaked out at how rough he is with me. What happens next makes me scream in fear; he rips up my dress as I hear him say "Well let's see those gorgeous boobs that you have my dear." I scream out at the embarrassment that Peeta does this to me, and I see that my dress is on the ground. I looked back at him as I see him smirking at me; as I tried to cover myself as I hear him say "Now why are you covering yourself to me! You've showed me your body before, so how about I show you how much of a monster I can be." I scream out "No, no please Peeta, don't do this. I don't want you like this please. NOOOOOOOOOO!" As then Peeta grabs my arms as he shoves his manhood into me, and that is when I woke up.

I woke up screaming as then my mother ran in as I heard her say "Katniss its okay, its okay I'm here now. I'm here now it's going to be okay." I start to feel myself cry out "Oh mother I'm sorry if I woke you, I didn't mean to it was a bad dream. It's just that it felt so real to me right now with everything that has happened so far." As then I felt my mother rub my back as she says "I know sweetheart, I know that it's hard for you right now, but it will get better soon you'll see. Why don't you go take a shower that might help you out? It can help you relax." I do as my mother says, and went to the bathroom to take my shower. I toke off my medieval top as well as my skirt, and I start the shower. I then take off my thong, and undid my hair. I got in to the shower and let the water hit me. I let everything wash over me as I tried not to think about the dream I had. I don't even know what it meant, but I know that I shouldn't worry about it. I start to bath myself, but as I got start to bath my crouch I felt something. I looked down to see that there blood on the shower floor. I was about to look closer; as then a sharp pain hits me as then I fell to the floor, and I blacked out as I did I heard my mother scream out "Katniss!"

I woke again in my bed and in a robe to see Portia checking me over as I spoke softly "What happened?" Portia spoke in sadness "Katniss, I don't know how to tell you this, but I'll try the best I can. You were taking a shower, and you blacked out. Katniss you were pregnant and you had a miss carriage." I started to cry out "whose baby was it anyway?" She looked at me with sadness as she said "I'm afraid that I don't know, but I think that the only person you might have had sex with was Snow. So it might be Snow's baby you had miss carried. Katniss please don't feel like you're alone in this. We care about you, and I truly believe that Peeta still does too." I looked away as she wrote some stuff down, and got up as she was about to leave she said "Do you want me to bring your mother in?" I looked back as I said "Yes can you bring her in." Portia whispered out to someone; as then my mother came in along with Prim as I hear Prim say "Katniss how are you feeling?" I only looked at Prim with a small smile as I said "Not well. I had a miss carriage, and I feel . . ." I couldn't finish it as I started to cry out in pain; as then I see my sister come over to me and hugged me as my mother came over on the other side of the bed. She rubbed my back as she whispered out "It'll be okay Katniss. Everything will work out in the end." After a while of crying my mother spoke again "I had to send Haymitch to see if our castle was safe to come back. When he does come back he'll to tell us if it's safe or not. When it's safe we will go back home, and I'll have Portia stay here to when Peeta comes back." I looked at my mother with calmness as I said "Mother I know that you're trying to do what is best for both Prim and I but I feel like that we need to stay here. I don't why but I have my reasons to stay here; I just feel like if I stay here I might be able to save Peeta somehow." Prim was the next to talk "But what if you become a shell, like how Cinna and Portia said." I looked at Prim as I said "I can't leave Peeta, I love him so much it hurts to be away from him. I don't know why but it does" but what was I saying, yet he had left me didn't he. That is when I felt this strange feeling that something was telling me not to give up on Peeta. As then one of the servants came in as she said "Queen Everdeen, Lord Haymitch is back. He needs to see you right away. I think it may be bad news." I watch Prim leave the room with my mother, and as she was about to leave the room she spoke again "Katniss I think that you may need some rest. If you chose not to rest, then go for a walk. I just want you to be happy honey that is all." I watched her leave as I got out of bed, and thought of what she said. After a while of thinking I went to my closet.

There in my closet were all of the cloths that Snow had made me wearing for him. I look through when I see a riding outfit so I picked it up and started to get dress. I put on the thong on first, then the pants as well as the peasant top. I put the bodice over the top and put on some riding boots. I was about to leave when one of the servants came in as she says "Let me do your hair." She takes my hand as she lets me sit in the hair while she does my hair. After a while the servant gets my hair done as I hear her cry out "I'm so sorry!" I turned around to see her crying into her hands; as I know who it is, it's no other then Mary the one that hand said those nasty things to me. Mary is crying as I spoke robotically "It's okay, you were right though. I don't deserve Peeta." Mary looks up at me as she cried out "But I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't want you to turn into a robot, and never feel love ever again. I just wanted you to fight back, and go after Peeta. Not be a robot and just go through life like that. Oh Katniss I'm sorry." As then I got up from the chair as I said "It's alright, I'm going to go riding today." I left the room and went down the stairs. As I finally got down the stairs I saw my sister crying. I went up to her and asked "What's wrong Prim?" She looked at me as she said "Our home got destroyed. Oh Katniss we don't have a home now." I hugged her as I heard my mother talking to one of the servants "Lulu you don't really mind if we stay here. I don't want to intrude on anyone here." Lulu responded with "No that isn't a problem, and besides Katniss is already use to this place. You can stay here as long as you want. Oh Katniss are going riding, I'll go get the horses ready for you."

As Lulu left us to get the horses ready my mother looked at me as she said "Are you sure you want to go riding, you weren't yourself earlier and what if you have another panic attack. What will you do then?" I looked at my mother as I said "If you're worried about me then sent someone with me to make sure I don't. But I'm only doing what you said earlier in my room when I woke up from being passed out. I'm going out to clear my head, and it's just for a little while. I won't go too far, okay." My mother only nodded as she spoke only to Prim "Prim let's find you a room in here okay." I watched my sister take my mother's hand and went upstairs to go find them a room. As I left the palace there waiting for me was this beautiful horse that was tan with a blond mane. Lulu got her all ready for me as she said "You can get on him now. By the way the horse's name is Sandstorm, so be careful." I get up on the horse as I saw Gale come out with his horse which is dark brown and with a white spot on the horse's head. I hear Gale say "Alright lets go." We start to head to the forest for a ride, so as we were riding I continue to feel that strange feeling that I had when I was in my room before.