Chapter Twenty-Two

When I entered the day care, I felt a small child run up to me and hug me. I instinctively hugged back and saw it was Siri who was clinging to me.

I gently pushed the small girl away and asked, "Did you have fun today?"

She nodded and started smiling. "Uh-huh, I did. I played with Melony and Jasper and Rachel and Milly and Davie." In a grave voice, or at least, as grave a five-year-old can get, she added. "I missed you a lot Mommy."

I gave her a kiss on the forehead and picked her up, she was a small kid so I was still able to do so.

I told her to close her eyes and hold tight before apparating home.

That day was not the last time I saw Susan. Whenever I dropped Siri off at the day care she was always there and we would spend the day talking.

Susan would give me news of the wizarding world, since Daisies Day Care was for muggle children. Susan would often bring me the Daily Profit and other things that made me feel slightly less isolated. She was a wonderful friend.

One day after day care, Susan took Siran and me to her home. Honoring what I had asked, she had not told anyone who I was. Much to my surprise, this included her husband, Terry Boot, a Ravenclaw in my year at Hogwarts and another member of Dumbledore's Army. I was touched when I found this out, it made me realize just how loyal Susan was and how lucky I was to have rejoined with her.

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When I picked Siran off, she was sadder than she had been other days I had picked her up.

When I asked why, she said, "I was playing with Carly and she wanted to play Witches. She pretended to be old and was laughing really weirdly. I told her that not all witches are like that and she did'n't believe me."

I had gotten Siran to understand that not everyone had magic in them and she understood that she could not tell the children at day care about magic. Although she did not completely know why, she did what I asked and pretended to be a muggle like all the other kids.

"Don't worry, Siri," I told her, trying to cheer her up. "I know what we'll do, how would you like to go visit Aunt Susie?"

Siran immediately brightened up and was bouncing up and down. It was a short walk to Susan's house, she had given me directions, and we were there in less than five minutes.

It was a nice house, very simple but very cozy. It had a homey feel and I thought it was great. When Susan opened the door, after Siran had pressed the doorbell repeatedly, Susan led us inside and I could see that the inside was just as nice as the outside. Everything was very plain but very warm, with soft colors.

Both Siran and I loved the house.

Susan led us to the kitchen where she was making dinner and said, "Terry will be home in about fifteen minutes and dinner will be ready in under an hour."

She set the timer on something and led Siran and I to a family room. Much to Siran's delight, Susan handed her a couple of cookies. After she set up the television, to Spongebob for Siri, I took out my wand and our disguises faded.

Susan gasped and exclaimed, "Oh Hermione, she's beautiful."

I nodded. "I know, I can't believe she's real sometimes."

We decided to leave Siri alone as we walked to the kitchen and continued to talk.

"She has the most gorgeous eyes I've ever seen," Susan said. "I don't know how you'll be able to keep boys away from her."

I laughed and replied, "Don't worry, I think I have a while until I have to worry about that."

She laughed and assured me that I would.

Just then I heard the door open and a man shout, "Susan? I'm home early. Where are you, sweetie?"

"I'm in the kitchen," Susan yelled back. "And we have company."

I raised my eyebrows at her and asked, "Sweetie?" Susan's only response was to blush as she continued to chop onions.

Terry entered the room and froze as soon as he saw me. All he was able to do was stand there with his mouth wide open.

"H-Hermione?" he asked. "Hermione Granger?"

I nodded. "Good to see you too Terry."

Apparently he needed a few moments to get over his shock and continued to gape for a while longer.

I turned back to Susan and commented, "Your reaction was much better than his."

She laughed and said, "Well, as much as I love him, Terry can be a little slow."

This seemed to snap him back to reality and he said, "Excuse me? I am not slow. Need I remind you that I was pretty high up in the class and in Ravenclaw? It's just ... Hermione."

"I don't think you can talk about being high up in the class when you're in the same room as Mione," Susan said, shaking her head.

He just shrugged. "I guess not." He paused for a moment and said agian, "Hermione. Blimey, it's really you."

I nodded and replied, "Yup. Contradictory to the newspapers, I'm not in bulgaria hiding out with Viktor Krum."

He laughed. "Well, according to another magazine you're also in Antarctica, living off of polar bears."

I smiled at him and was about to say something until I saw Terry's eyes widen as he spotted something behind me. I whipped around to see Siran walking over to me. Oblivious to the fourth person in the room, Siran skipped over to me and asked, "Mommy, can I have another cookie?"

"I don't know, you have to ask Aunt Susie," I replied. Susan was already there handing a cookie to Siri.

"What do you say?" I prompted.

Siran turned back to Susan and said, "Thank you Aunt Susie."

"M-mommy?" I heard someone stutter. I looked up to see that Terry was ghostly white. I had to refrain from laughing.

Turning to my daughter I said, "Why don't you introduce yourself to Uncle Terry?"

"I have another Uncle?" she asked, delighted. After seeing the look on my face, she turned to Terry and said, "I'm Siri."

I smiled and said, "Why don't you tell him your full name."

"Okay Mommy," Siri said, happy to have all the attention. "My name is Siran Meara Granger?"

"It's-It's nice to meet you," Terry said, his voice cracking.

"Siri, why don't you go keep watching TV and let Mommy talk to Aunt Susie and Uncle Terry?" I said.

"Alright mommy," Siri said. With a kiss on the cheek, she was off.

There was silence in the room until Terry broke it. "Wow Hermione, a kid?"

I nodded. "She's five."

"Blimey," seemed to be all that he could say. There was even more silence until Terry broke it once more. "Who's the father?"

My good mood was instantly gone, although I tried not to let it show it. Whenever I thought of Tom, it became hard for me to smile. "For safety reasons, I can't tell you. It would be too dangerous both for me and you."

Terry nodded, indicating that he understood.

The rest of the night was filled with laughing and fun. I could not remember a night where I had felt so at home in a long time.

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The year that followed, up until a few weeks after Siri turned six, were as good as I could have hoped for. Whenever I thought it was safe, Siran and I would go over to Susan's and Terry's. I still had to remain cautious though, I could tell by the newspapers that Tom was still looking for me.

I tried not to what Tom had become stop me from making things the best I could for Siran. Whenever I thought she needed it, I would do whatever I could for her. I taught her how to read and write, I would play with her outside, and I even bought her a locket that had her name engraved on it in beautiful letters.

Siran Meara Granger

- you'll always be Siri to me -

- you'll always be loved by me -

- and I'll always be with you -

I knew that paradise could not last forever, thought. I always felt as if our happiness would be ruined at any minute. Constantly, I looked over my shoulder to see if we were being followed. I was always afraid that someone would recognize me.

I tried not to think this way, but I could not help it. We were always being looked for, and I knew that one day, sooner or later, someone would find us.

That day came right after Siri turned six.

I had just put her to bed when an owl came through the window. I did not know how it had found us but I knew that it had to be important, only if it were carrying something vital could an owl pass though my barriers.

I rushed over to the window and as gently as I could, untied the letter from the owl's leg and read it as fast as I could.

Hermione,

I'm so sorry. They'll be on their way soon - run.

She did not need to sign it. I knew that it came from Susan and I knew what she was telling me. Voldemort had learned that I was alive.

And he was coming.

I had set up the wards around my house so that apparition was possible only at certain times of the day - it's more secure then. I had not realized that in doing so, I may have ultimately caused my own demise. There was nothing I could do about it now though and I went back into my room, deciding to let Siran sleep.

I walked over to my desk and took out a piece of parchment and a quill. I began to write.

Once I had finished, I sealed it up and put it in the top drawer of my desk. Hoping that one day, it's purpose would be fulfilled.

I then decided that I would go to bed then. If I could not escape yet, I would at least get some rest.

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I woke up and saw that the sun was shining brightly. I cursed, I slept in much more than I had planned to.

I got up and ran out of the room, deciding that I would run to Siri and we would escape as soon as possible.

What I saw when I passed through the door made me freeze. About fifteen death eaters were all in my house. Some of them were eating in the kitchen and some were sitting in the sitting room that the kitchen opened up into. The thing that really made me freeze though, was that Voldemort was standing with his back against the wall, twirling his wand.

I did not know what to do, as all of their attention turned to me and silence came over the room.

I scanned the space quickly, no sign of Siran. She must have still be asleep in her room.

My eyes turned back to Voldemort and his met mine. The silence continued as we just stared at each other.

"You're not an easy person to find," he told me in his cold voice.

I almost shivered when I heard that. It was not the way he was supposed to sound.

"I didn't want to be found," I replied.

This made him laugh and I was disgusted at the sound. It was cold and heartless, a laugh that did not belong on any human. But he was more monster than human.

"You haven't changed, Hermione. Still as quick as ever."

I did not respond. Instead, I shifted my eyes to his twirling wand. There was a moment of prolonged silence before I spoke. "Why did you change Tom?" I asked quietly.

I looked up and saw his eyes flash. "Don't call me that if you want to live just a little longer. It is not your place to speak of what you don't know. I have always been this way, mudblood."

"There was a time when you would have killed someone for calling me that Tom, and a time when you wanted me to call you by your first name," I said softly. "You've changed. From good," I gestured toward him, "to this."

"Why would you care, it's not as if it mattered to you what I could become when you left," he said icily. It may have been my imagination, which is more likely then not, but I felt as if his tone sounded slightly hurt. I cleared that thought out of my head, I would never survive if I underestimated him.

Then a thought struck me, "You became this...because I left?"

He said nothing and I lowered my eyes to the floor. "I would apologize," I said, "But there is no human left in you to apologize to."

He raised his wand and was about to throw a curse at me, blackness in his eyes, when I heard small footsteps.

I closed my eyes in pain. Not now Siri, just stay hidden.

She started talking before she opened her door. "Mommy! Mr. Flobbers got a rip in him." She trailed off at the end as she opened her door and saw the cloaked figures that surrounded the room. She simply stood there, holding her stuffed animal and her eyes searched frantically until they rested on me. In a flurry of movement, she ran over to me and clutched my legs. "Mommy?" she whispered.

"It's alright baby, I'm here," I told her as I stroked her head comfortingly. Her grip on me did not loosen. I turned to Tom to see that he had almost a pained expression on his face. "Meet your daughter, Tom. This is Siran Meara, she just turned six."

Tom composed himself and regained his cold demeanor. Glaring he said, "I suggest you say good bye now. You won't be around much longer, Hermione."

Knowing that I would die soon, most likely in a matter of minutes, I kneeled down so that I was eye level with Siran.

"I have to say good bye now, Siri," I told her.

I could tell that she was confused and scared. She did not know what was happening but she understood that it could not be good. "What are you talking about, Mommy? Why are you saying good bye?" she asked, still clutching her stuffed rabbit.

"We just have to baby," I told her. "I wish I could keep you with me but your dad is going to take you away now."

Her eyes shifted toward Voldemort. "He can't be my daddy, you said daddy was handsome." She was trying to hold on to some hope that none of this was really happening, that the scary, no, terrifying man in front of her was not her father.

"He used to be. He used to be the most handsome guy I had ever seen. But then your daddy made some mistakes and he became that way."

Siran nodded, not knowing what else to do.

"Are you wearing your locket?" I asked.

She nodded again. "I always wear it, Mommy."

"Good. Never forget what it says. I'll always love you and I'll always be with you. And I know that you think you're too old now to be called Siri, but don't be in a hurry to grow up so soon."

Siran, sensing that our conversation was going to have to come to and end soon, which would lead to me going away, was getting panicked. "No, it's okay Mommy. You can call me Siri, I'm not too old. Just don't leave me."

My eyes were watering up and Siran was becoming blurry through the tears. I wiped off my eyes, wanting my last view of my daughter to be a clear one. Not being able to put everything into words, I wrapped my arms around her and held on tight. Siran was doing the same thing, squeezing me, hoping that if she held on hard enough Voldemort could not take me away from her.

"I'm so sorry, Siri." I whispered to her. "I love you and I'm so, so sorry. Please forgive me."

I pulled back from the hug and saw that she was crying also.

I cupped her cheek with my hand and wiped a tear that had escaped from her eye off her cheek. My lip quivered as I said, "You're getting to be so big, and so beautiful, too. Don't forget about me, okay Siri? And remember that I'm always with you, even if you can't see me."

"Please mommy..." Siran pleaded, crying completely now.

I gave her a kiss on her forehead and looked at her once more before I stood up and turned back to Voldemort. "She doesn't need to see this," I said, trying to keep my voice from wavering and failing.

Just then, a death eater grabbed Siri and put a hand over her mouth to keep her quiet, causing her to drop her rabbit. She was terrified and she fought against him.

"Actually, I think she does," Voldemort said and aimed his wand at me. I did not have time to react when I saw the jet of green light flying toward me.

Everything seemed to slow down in those few seconds. I saw Siri crying, somehow knowing what was happening and saw the death eaters, faceless and menacing.

And I saw Voldemort. In those few seconds, I realized that by leaving, I had really killed all traces of humanity that I thought I had restored. In those moments, I understood just what I had done. The moment that I had made my decision to go into the past, I had sealed his fate.

And by falling in love, the man I was trying to save, was turned into the monster that stood before me. It was almost poetic, and under different circumstances, I might have laughed at the irony, not because I thought it was funny though. No, I would have laughed because I finally realized the truth - no one can go against destiny and in trying to do so, I only helped it.

I had killed the human inside Tom, and in return, he was killing me.

I had made it through the deaths, through the hurt, through the pain, through the hopelessness, through the anger, through the sorrow, through the war, through the loss, through the battle, through the hiding, through the love, through the tears but now, I would not make it through this. At that moment, I felt as if it hadn't been worth it.

I had been through so much, and I had left behind a monster called Voldemort, and a beautiful daughter who would no longer have her mother.

Someone once told me that a person's dying thoughts are what truly define them. As the spell of the man I once loved hit me in the chest, I hoped. A foolish thing to as I died but I did. I hoped that the world would somehow be able to make it through the tears as I did, and that somehow, my daughter would get to live in a world where there are none. A world where Voldemort was dead and with me in heaven, as Tom.

A/N: awwwww... if you weren't sad then you're a robot.

I'm torn. Should I write an epilogue? A last chapter that kind of sums up everything? ... I think I want to but I need to know if I should leave it the way it is or write more.

review?