I couldn't look at him as I spoke the words, "I can't." Bash's hand dropped from my chin. "There is never the right timing with us Bash, never a perfect moment. And now it is too late for anything of meaning to happen."
"Meaningful happenings are the consequence of every moment we spend together. Perfection was never going to be in our cards dear Mary, but we are able to steal time away to experience something so close to it that we can trick ourselves into believing perfection exists."
"Isn't that a cruel way to view the world Bash? To never believe in experiencing a perfect moment? I believe perfection exists, I have found it once or twice before."
"You speak of those times as though they are merely a snapshot in time, that is not perfection. Perfection is a concept that has long lasting effects on the soul, that you rival in and remember for the length of your days. I am not speaking of a perfect moment Mary, I am speaking of a perfect eternity. And although I don't believe in such a concept, I know that with you we could get damn near close.." It was my turn to kiss him. I stood up on my toes to draw his lips against mine, releasing a small gasp as he responded with full force.
"Is this your agreement?" He murmured against my lips, as he slightly pulled away.
"This is my goodbye." I pulled away from him so harshly that he fell slightly into the door. I didn't spare the moment to turn around as I fled down the corridor, out into the expanse of the hallway.
"Have you seen Bash?" Kenna's voice called from the end of the hallway, as she turned the corner to see me standing there.
"No, I haven't." I stated rather bluntly. Recovering quickly I tried to smile sweetly, "I can help you find him if you'd wish?" Kenna shook her head, cocking it to the side slightly.
"It's fine Mary, I merely wanted to tell him that his father was looking for him. Although I much not care as to why. Apparently it is a wife's duty to spend her days searching for her husband. For all I know he's probably off ruining his vows... wish I could do the same." As though shaking the thought from her head, Kenna grabbed my arm and walked us back towards the ball. "What were you doing out here all alone anyway Mary?"
"I needed some air. Sometimes these walls seem a little too small." Kenna smiled at me in understanding.
...
Two days had past since Bash and I hid away from prying eyes. Two days had past since my heart began to softly flutter at the prospect of another.
"Why is it that you can look so beautiful, even in the wakes of the morning when your hair resembles something of a birds nest." I smiled at Francis's comment, resting my body against his as his arms wrapped around my stomach.
"I believe it has something to do with the beholder of the eyes husband, for others would merely only see hair that is unnaturally unruly." I felt his chuckle against my back, and felt the tang of regret spread throughout my body.
I remember feeling guilty when in Sebastian's arms forever ago when Francis left us to be. And how even as we had spent those soft moments together I had longed for them to be with another. Can a heart switch its beat so quickly? Or is my mind ruling my heart for an act of indecency, only to break another's with vengeance? And yet now my decision to be with Francis, who I loved more, is unravelling.
Can I place these thoughts on the unborn child of my best friend? That because of the secret I must keep for the sake of Lola and my marriage, I am now turning to alternative means of payback. Have I become so heartbroken by that revelation that my own beating chest has now directed its thumps towards another?
I see Bash nearly every day, normally with Kenna. Greer assures me a consummation still has not happened, which is in all honesty music to my ears. Which I then of course feel guilty about feeling, but then something else happens and the cycle begins again.
I have kept myself heavily guarded against unexpected kisses in secret corridors, but I fear this is more to restrain the prospect of my own actions rather than Bash's.
"You have quick wit my love," Francis's voice broke through my thoughts, "And sadly we can't spend all day in here so that I may marvel at your genius." I sighed with mockery,
"I guess admiration will be flowing from a distance then Francis. I shall look forward to the lengthy gazes and sneaked smiles at my wit." He kissed my cheek softly, before jumping off our bed.
"I feel like doing something exciting today," I raised an eyebrow with curiosity, "We should go for a ride, a lengthy one." He stated, before grabbing my hands and twisting me into a slow dance.
"That sounds marvelous, I haven't been outside the palace in so long."
"And the sun is shining today, it is a sign of good faith." At these words a soft knock came at the door. Julia snuck her head through,
"The King is requesting your presences.." She stated softly, I nodded.
"We shall be there as quickly as we can." Julia curtsied and left. Francis sighed deeply,
"I feel as though the inevitable storm cloud has ruined another sunny day."
...
"The trip should take no more than three days." King Henry was walking around his chambers with a gleeful glide to his step.
"I am still unsure as to the point of this trip?" Francis asked his father.
"You shall be making contacts with some very important people that will help us to secure England when the time is right."
"Shouldn't I go as well," I asked, "Since I am to take the throne of England." Henry shook his head,
"No need Mary. Francis will do fine just on his own." In his madness King Henry was being just that, mad. His actions were no longer making sense, and he wouldn't disclose who these people Francis was to meet were. But to disobey him, or to challenge him at this point could result in a lost limb. "Gather your things son, you'll leave in the hour."
...
Francis had swiftly kissed me before riding off with a few of his men. Still the mission was unclear and as I tried to ask Catherine, she had no light to shine on the matter. I had three days. Three days without my husband. And although my thoughts were concerned with his welfare and the madness that has now pressed on the Kings mind, a plucker of my conscience drifted to Bash. As it often now did.