We fear the things that we can't control. But it is often that fear that overtakes our actions, and drives us to do unforgettable things.
"Have you been avoiding me?" I thought that I was well hidden between the bookshelves of the palace's library. Clearly not. Maybe if I ignored the voice, the owner of the voice would go away. "Ignoring me won't make me go away Mary." A body sat down next to mine, and as the smell of him reached my nose my body did that awful thing where it lights a fire throughout its muscles. I turned the page of the book I was reading.
"No, Bash. I haven't been avoiding you. I've been busy with duties and such that encompass my life because I am Queen." Even to my own ears I sounded like an idiot.
"Right.." He drew the word out as he spoke, "Well clearly at this point in time those duties are being placed on hold, so may we speak freely amongst the great literature." He placed a hand over the page I was now attempting to read.
"I don't think that is a great idea Bash," I said, moving his hand off the page.
"And why is that?" Because visions of betrayal plague my mind every time I see you.
"Because I am reading." I should have calculated his actions, but his swiftness seemed to always surprise me. Bash grabbed the book from my hands, throwing it down the isle. I only looked after it with a gaped mouth, which earn't me a chuckle. I couldn't help myself but I pushed his shoulder, which didn't make him budge at all, only laugh harder.
"Do I have your attention now?" His eyes rested on my own, and the deep blueness of them always drew me under in a trance like state of admiration. I nodded. There was silence between us for a few moments, before Bash broke it by scratching his head.
"I had been meaning to apologise.." This wasn't what I was expecting.
"Apologise?" He nodded.
"I was very forceful in my actions, and it isn't like me to be so blunt. I knew that what I was asking of you isn't a rash decision to make, I merely wanted you so badly that night that I wasn't thinking clearly." My breath caught in my chest as he spoke, "The feel of you Mary is rather addicting."
"You need to stop saying these things Bash, least of all thinking them. I thought I was clear in my actions that night. I would have stayed if I had wanted more."
"I don't believe you." He stated rather quickly.
"You need to believe me Bash. You are going to be living here with your wife for a long time, and how are we supposed to be around each other, how are we supposed to move on with our lives if you hold onto the past so dearly."
"The past is worth holding onto Mary, especially when it comes to you. And I know it is because of your Queenly duties, as you so stated before, that your mind is clouded with the negatives of such a situation involving you and I."
"You are being rather blunt right now Bash."
"And your eyes that were so welcome to possibility have been damaged by a thought." It isn't a thought Bash, it's fear. Fear that what he is proposing will not only ruin me, but delight me to no end. "Maybe it isn't a thought," He continued, as though he could read my own, "Is it fear Mary? Are you fearful of the possibility of this." He rested his hand against my cheek. And as if on its own accord my head moved to rest in his hand, closing my eyes at the touch as his lips moved closer to mine. I placed my hand over his, removing it from my face.
"You understand the repercussions of such a situation if others were to find out, and yet you press for it so desperately." I spoke calmly and evenly, "You are toying with the fates you claim have been the forcing nature that have destined us to entwine. How are you not fearful Bash? And how can you ask of me something your brother already questions is so?"
"I will not let fear rule my life Mary. In the weeks I spent away from you, fighting for my life, I realised just how short lived our lives truly are. Which is why I fight for you so desperately now. The thought of my brother touching you the way I wish to, poisons my soul as I am sure these thoughts have crossed his mind for a reverse of roles. I understand whole heartedly what I ask of you, but my question isn't what you fear most. It is your answer that will change the course of history, and this is what is most fearful."