Okay, I would like to say something. In this story, there will come a part where it talks about driving from Las Vegas to South Park (Colorado) in an hour. I am well aware that this is impossible, but for the sake of the story, bear with it. Just pretend Sam's car has jet fuel, mmkay? Mmkay.

"Welikeboysinca~rs,

Boys, boys, boys!

Buy us drinks in ba~rs,

Boys, boys, boys!

With hairspray and denim,

Boys, boys, boys—"

"GOD SHUT UP!"

Tweek and Sam started laughing as Kyle snapped over the line. They knew how much he hated Lady Gaga, and flaunted it.

Still laughing, Tweek turned down the volume and allowed himself to relax after a successful mission. It was a pretty basic kill; they marched in, pretending to be hook-ups for the drugs, met Daddy, (who was a disgusting, overweight man wearing too much cologne), and put a bullet in his head. To escape, they just broke through the window and ran out to their car. Sam was able to lose them in a matter of seconds.

With navigating help from Kyle, of course.

Who was currently threatening to kill them both via lasers from the satellites he had hacked over the summer if they didn't stop singing.

Sam took off her blonde wig and loosened her ponytail as she drove up to Taco Bell. "Hey, Kyle, you want anything?"

After a pouty pause Kyle said grudgingly, "Nachosandseven-layerburrito."

She turned to Tweek with an eyebrow raised in question. Tweek thought and said, "Crunchy taco and cheese roll-ups. And a Coke."

Sam rolled down her window to place their order as Tweek's phone went off for the second time that night. Whothehellcallsatthreeinthemorning?Tweek wondered. He almost flipped when he saw Craig on the ID screen.

Sam, waiting on the food, glanced over and smirked. "Your boyfriend calling you again? Clingy type, ain't he?"

"Extremelypossessive," Kyle agreed.

Tweek blushed. "Shut up! Craig's a—a friend!" He hit the send button and answered. "H-hello?"

"Tweek."

"Gah!Hi,Craig."

He hated how he still couldn't talk to Craig like a normal person even when all the adrenaline in him usually steadied his speech.

"Did I wake you?" Craig asked with the tiniest hint of guilt laced in his monotone voice. Tweek felt a thrill go through him.

"N-no! I was, um, playing Xbox!"

"You don't even havea Xbox," Sam muttered under her breath.

"Oh, good," Craig sighed. "Listen, I hate to ask you this...I mean really hateit, but could I come over to your house for tonight? Like right now?"

"Um," Tweek whimpered. "C-can you hold on for a minute?"

"Sure..?"

Tweek covered the phone with one hand and ignored the wrapped food tossed his way. "Sam, how soon can we make it back to South Park?"

"Hm, if I run red lights and pass up every sap going under eighty...an hour."

"What?"

"C-Craig?"

"Still here..."

"Sam,didyoujustsayanhour?"

"Um, is it okay if you wait like, an hour before coming over?"

"Well..." Tweek sensed something more to this conversation. "I guess. Can I ask why?"

"Sam,that'lljustattractmoreattentionyou—" Tweek ripped the earpiece out of his ear impatiently.

"Ah!UM," Tweek looked desperately at Sam, who shrugged with a mouthful of burrito. It gave him an idea. "I'm sick!" He almost shouted, causing Kyle to snort in amusement over the line. "And throwing up...A LOT! My mom said I'll be okay in an hour or...something...cause of food poisoning...from Taco Bell." Tweek could almost feelKyle rolling his eyes.

"Oh," came the surprised reply, "then are you sure it's okay? I can go to Clyde's or—"

"Nonono,really, its fine! Besides, I don't think that Clyde would, ngh, be okay with being waken up this early."

"Good point." Craig sighed again. Tweek tilted his head questioningly. "Craig," he asked hesitantly, "what's going on?" He heard the raven moving around on the other end of the phone line and hoped Craig couldn't hear the acceleration of the engine as Sam left what few other drivers there were in the dust.

Craig cleared his throat nervously. "Don't worry about it, okay, Tweek? I don't want you to get all crazy upset...like when I was moving away in seventh grade." Tweek flinched. Memories, ugh. Tweek wanted to take Craig's words and believe that he was alright, that it was nothing huge—maybe his parents were having a fight. They argued a lot. But Tweek knew Craig better than Craig thought, and Tweek could hear that slight shift, edge, shake in his voice.

Craig was scared.

Tweek frowned. "Craig." Alert the presses, he didn't stutter. "What's going on? Tell me. I'll worry more if you don't."

A long pause. Then, "Someone tried to kidnap me tonight. I need a place to stay."

Tweek's jaw dropped. He regained his voice faster than he thought he would. "W-wouldn't you normally go to the police for that?"

"Yes, normally," here Craig's voice grew venomous, "but daddydearestloves his whores and gambling so much that he's afraid to look at the fuzz, much less give them access to our house."

Tweek's brain was moving like lightning. "Your mother, sister? Where are they?"

"Flew out to New Jersey to stay with a friend. Dad's leaving for a business trip."

A flash of anger sparked in Tweek's chest and he gritted his teeth. "Neither of them bothered to send you anywhere for protection?"

"Nope," was his indifferent, expectant response. Tweek's left eye twitched and he suppressed the urge to have Kyle screw with their government files. I'lljusthave'Mysterion'give'emalatenightvisit,he decided and pushed it out of mind.

"Alright, Craig, look. Get your stuff together and leave your house now.Wear dark clothes, make sure the house lights are off when you leave so it's harder to spot you. Get a weapon of some sort; pepper spray, or a taser or even a knife. Something you can conceal. Go somewhere public; go to the CVS a few blocks from my house and walk around in there for a little bit." As an after thought, he added, "and, um, pick me up some Pepto-Bismol, please."

The surprise at Tweek's sudden turn of attitude was tangible. Tweek noticed that he and Sam had reached the motel that Kyle was stationed at; now the red-head was running out the door, his gear in his bags.

Craig let out a soft, "Okay. See you in an hour...Tweek."

Tweek swallowed the rage he felt for the poor fuckers who had tried to take him. "One hour," he promised.

Dun-dun-DUN!

[Review,orMysterionwillgetyoutoo.]