SPOILER ALERT: Based on events in the season 2 premiere.
"I think you liked it," Sarah said, her eyes fixed on Delphine. "And I just wanted to hear you say it."
Delphine grabbed the bottle and lifted it to her mouth. In a sad attempt to be graceful, she accidentally sent the liquid dribbling down her chin and onto her white tank top. Her tongue wandered over her lips, lapping up what it could.
"How would you even know?" Delphine asked. "You pulled away fast enough."
Sarah watched a drop of whiskey snake its way down Delphine's neck, raising chills on her skin in its path.
"That's because—unlike you—I was fully aware of who I was kissing. And I wanted out."
Sarah reached across the floor to grab the bottle from between Delphine's straddled legs. She tasted Delphine on its rim—her waxy chapstick, her smoky breath. She let the whiskey slide down her throat and warm the cold that had been numbing her insides.
"When did you realize it was me?" she asked. "Seriously."
"Too late, I'm afraid."
"Funny," Sarah chuckled. "I don't believe you."
"Just too late."
"Too late to tell?"
"I realized it too late!" Delphine threw her arms up. "That I had you and not her." She brushed the hair out of her eyes. "And now look where we are."
"All gone." Sarah declared.
"Huh?" The image of Cosima's face flashed across Delphine's mind.
Sarah shook the empty bottle. "All gone." She rolled it across the floor.
"Oh," Delphine whimpered, barely audible. "I wanted last licks."
"You did, yeah?"
"Yes." She hit the "s" hard, sending a pulse through Sarah, who swallowed to soak up the last of the alcohol, desperate for another strong taste on her tongue.
"No, wait." Sarah said. "There's still some left."
She leaned forward on all-fours, making her way towards the bottle she'd just discarded. Only, instead of reaching out for it, she stopped at Delphine's knees, placing a hand to her chest. Delphine closed her eyes. She knew what was coming and she didn't need to see it. Feeling would be more than enough. It would be too much, in fact—the dreaded "again" of "never again."
"Not yet," Sarah said. She tugged at the white tank top, urging Delphine to take it off before retreating into the darkness of heavy eyelids. Sarah wouldn't do it for her.
Delphine sent the shirt flying the way of the useless bottle, inviting Sarah to explore what was underneath. Sarah had to tense her muscles to keep her entire body from shaking. She lifted Delphine's chin and placed her tongue between her breasts, licking the exact path of the drop that fell before. It tasted bitter and smoky, always smoky.
The flesh in Sarah's mouth vibrated as Delphine spoke.
"Cosima gave me so much shit for it, you know?"
Sarah's nails grazed Delphine's stomach, maybe going a little too far down, maybe digging a little too hard.
"Poor baby. You at least made it up to her, yeah?"
Sarah grabbed between Delphine's thighs.
"I did not." Delphine moaned, and even laughed coarsely at herself, at how easily Sarah did this to her. "She was too tired that night."
Sarah kissed her way back down.
"She was always tired." Delphine grabbed onto Sarah's back.
"That's too bad."
"No," Delphine's voice shook. "It wasn't about that."
Sarah pushed harder into her.
"Then what was it about."
"It wasn't..."
"I know what it wasn't. It wasn't me." Sarah's voice was getting louder, her motions stronger. "I'm asking what it-"
Delphine pulled away, wincing at the pain she'd brought upon herself.
"It was about the science," she said breathless. "Which you'd never know about."
Delphine's damp exhale intoxicated Sarah. She wanted to hear what she couldn't deliver. She wanted to hear it from the woman she was growing to love.
"And it was about the glasses," she continued. "Which you couldn't see through. And it was about her lips. Which didn't taste like yours. And it was about her love. Which doesn't feel like—"
Sarah kissed her hard, swallowing the words that did neither of them any good. Sarah drank the breath that dizzied her mind and broke down her body. Still, Delphine was determined to finish her sentence, mumbling sounds into Sarah's mouth, biting her lips where the syllables lay.
With the bloody taste of Cosima's sickness on her tongue again, she turned over and pinned Sarah to the floor, asking her—despite her shortcomings—to give her whatever she could and then some, which probably wasn't even second best.