Author's note: I wrote and posted a different sorta kinda version of this 'missing scene' about a year ago, and then took it down for reasons that...well, there were reasons, okay. A few days ago I read Chapter nine of ICanStopAnytime's story How Did I Get Here and wrote a one of my long boring comments/critiques and I started it out with this: 'I think that moment in the Saracen's bathroom, after Matt had let it all out, that was the moment Eric began to love Matt.' ICanStop messaged me saying that summed it up nicely. And then I started thinking about what happened when Eric got home because he would have talked about it with Tami. As usual only reviews consisting of fawning gushing love or livid searing hatred are acceptable.

"In the end there is no desire so deep as the simple desire for companionship."

-Graham Greene

Eric pulled into the driveway and shut the engine off. As he walked to the front door he noticed Julie's light was on but his and Tami's room was dark. He walked inside and after checking on Gracie, knocked on Julie's door. "Come in."

"Hey Jules. Kinda late, isn't it?"

"I have a couple of quizzes and a test tomorrow. "Why is your shirt all wet? Are you all right?"

"You mind if I sit for a minute? Julie motioned to her bed and he sat on one corner facing her. "I, I'm tired but I'm okay."

"Why is your shirt wet? Did someone throw a water balloon at you?"

He smiled. "No, but I wish they did. You and Matt, what's up with that?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well I know you two aren't dating anymore, right?" Julie nodded. "But y'all do see each other in school or at the Alamo Freeze, and I mean, you have talked, haven't you?"

"We, we don't hang out. I do see him in the halls and we'll say 'Hi,' sometimes but I don't think we're gonna start going out again."

Eric held his hand up. "I didn't ask you that, but it also wouldn't be the worst thing in the world."

"Dad, what is it? Does Matt have something to do with you getting wet?"

Eric rubbed his cheek. "You know that he's been acting out the past couple of weeks, mouthing off in class and getting drunk and such?"

"I heard a rally girl talking about it. I heard that he and Tim went over to the Landing Strip or something, they were definitely out somewhere drinking."

"Well he got drunk and his grandmother got hurt."

"Are they okay? What happened?"

"Like I said, Matt was drunk and was out and his grandmother fell and banged herself up. And I had to pick them up at the hospital."

"Was Matt hurt?"

"N—yes, he was. But not like you think. I—I said something and it was the wrong thing to say. I'm sorry I said it. Look, I'm gonna talk with your mom about this, but I think it'd be good for Matt if we had him and maybe his grandmother over for dinner a few times. Would that make you uncomfortable?"

"A little. I mean, I like Matt and I care about him, but, I don't know, it's like everything gets awkward if I'm around him. I went to see him at work a few weeks ago and apologized and said I hoped that we could still be friends, or go back to being friends and he said he'd like that, but I don't know how to do that."

Eric leaned over and put his hand on her knee. "Just go up and talk to him. I'm kidding. Actually I'm not, but it's hard when you care about someone and then you have a fight, the reconnecting is hard, especially at school with him being QB1, I know all the rally girls are fluttering around him and they talk, they talk too much. I don't know, maybe you and Matt and Lance can hang out together or something. I'm not meaning to push you on this, but he could use someone to hang out with that isn't on the football team. I'm not saying he is definitely going to be over for dinner, but he might be. I wanted to let you know and I wanted to know how you felt about it. I do value your opinion, even though I don't ask you enough." Eric got up and opened the door. "Don't study for much longer, okay Noodle?"

"Alright. Dad? Does Matt hate you now? Because of what you said?"

"I hurt him, and he got angry, he's probably still angry, he has a right to that, but I hope that will heal. I care about Matt like you do. Sleep well."

"You too."

Eric closed the door, walked into the kitchen and got a glass and the bottle of Jack Daniels he kept in a cabinet. He poured a shot and drank it down, wincing slightly as the burn hit his throat. He poured three fingers and put the bottle back in the cabinet, then went into his and Tami's room. He was moving around to his side of the bed when the light came on. Tami looked at the glass of bourbon in his hand and then at Eric. "Why is your shirt all wet?"

Eric put the glass on the table by his bed and sat down. "Because I had to pick up Matt Saracen and his grandmother from the hospital."

Tami put her hand to her mouth. "Are they all right?"

Eric sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "No. I mean, they aren't in danger of dying but-look let me get out of this wet stuff and we can talk."

Eric had changed to a t-shirt and sweat pants and he and Tami were sitting up in bed under the covers. "I got a call from a nurse at the hospital telling me that Matt Saracen and his grandmother were there, so I went over."

"Why did they call you? We aren't their emergency contact, are we?"

"I'm the head coach and he's my starting quarterback and everyone else in town shows up at our front door at all hours so at least they called." Eric sighed. "I talked to Julie when I got home. You said something the other day about Matt being mouthy to one of his teachers."

"He called her a bitch."

"What? No he did not."

"Yes he did. His art teacher asked him to critique someone's drawing and he kept saying no and getting more and more sullen and then he said something about he could tell the drawing was of a vase and there were flowers in it and then he said 'bitch,' kind of under his breath. She asked him what he said and he repeated his answer and then said 'bitch,' louder. And he's been skipping out. I heard he and Tim Riggins drove off in Tim's truck and they were over at the Landing Strip."

Eric winced. "Last thing I need is for him to get arrested over there again."

"Something's bothering him, he isn't like this."

"Yeah."

"That's it—yeah."

Eric sipped from his glass. "Like I said I got called by a nurse at the hospital. I guess Matt and Tim were over at the Landing Strip again tonight, and he left his grandmother alone and she fell and hit her head. She's a'ight, got some bruises and cuts, maybe a concussion, but no broken bones. He was drunk. Didn't they have a nurse or someone to watch her?"

"Carlotta. I can't remember her last name. She was a nurse. I—I heard that she and Matt were—" she looked at Eric.

"Aw c'mon. They were having sex? In his grandmother's house? While she was there?"

"What are you so offended by? You don't seem to have a problem with Tim Riggins having sex with half the women and teenage girls in Dillon or Smash having multiple girlfriends or Lyla and Jason Street having sex. And it's not like we didn't have sex when we were their age."

"We were older, well, least I was." Eric looked at Tami. "Sorry I didn't mean to say it that way. You and Mo were y'know fooling around for a year before I met, right? It's just, you know. I mean, honestly would you be thrilled if you knew Julie was having sex?"

"With who?"

Eric spluttered. "What? What do you mean with who? Why would it matter who she was having sex with?"

"You're right, it would also matter how old she was. Do I think she's too young to be having sex right now? Yes I do. Will I still feel that way in five years, probably not. But you'll still be upset because she's always gonna be your girl. And I understand that. I know why you were so hard on Matt when she started hanging out with him and they were on the phone at all hours, because you do know what teenage boys and football players think about. I heard some girls talking about Matt and one of them said that he was sleeping with the maid. I know they didn't have a maid, but they did have a nurse, so I think that's who he was sleeping with, if he's been sleeping with anyone."

"That would explain it."

"What?"

"I got them checked out and back to his house and I was getting his grandmother settled in bed and she said, 'I'm glad you came by, because I think Matthew needs your help.' I went into the kitchen and he was standing there and he got mouthy with me. "He was glaring at me and he said that he didn't need any 'Dad-Coach talks' so I could just leave." Eric shook his head. "I—just snapped and I put hands on him."

"You didn't hit him. Tell me you did not hit Matt Saracen."

"No. I scruffed him and half dragged him into the bathroom and kinda threw him into the bathtub and turned the shower on him. Cold water. And I started yelling, 'Do you know how many people depend on you to make good decisions? Your grandmother, your friends, your teammates. You need to stop being so damn selfish.'" Eric ran his hand over his eyes and down his face. "That last thing, about him being selfish, that was wrong. I mean it's true but it isn't. I know he and Smash have been butting heads this season, but he might be the least selfish player on the team. He's sprawled out there in the tub with the cold water coming down on him, he looked like a wet rat, and he started screaming at me. He actually told me to shut up. You believe that. I've never had a kid say that to me. Never had a player say that to me. Julie's thought it a hundred times, but she's never said it. He screamed Shut up! Shut up! You left me and Dillon for a better job! Julie left me for a better guy!'"

Tami snorted. "He has no idea how wrong he is about that."

"'Carlotta left me for Guatemala! My dad left me for a damn war! Everybody leaves me!' Then he calmed down and said, 'What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me?' That second time he started crying." Eric took a sip of bourbon and rolled it around his mouth. "Everything drained out of me when he said that. Lying in that tub soaking wet, not moving. Like he'd given up. And that's not Matt Saracen. He doesn't give up. I looked at him for a few seconds and said, 'There's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with you. You are loved. People do care about you. Julie cares about you. My wife cares about you. I care about you.' I reached in and turned the water off and got a couple of towels, but he was still crying so I sat on the seat and waited. He stood up after a couple of minutes and I started to hand him a towel but he said he'd take his wet clothes off in the tub, so I went into the kitchen. He came out wrapped in a towel with his clothes and put 'em in the dryer. I—I wanted to say that I was sorry, but I couldn't, so I asked him if he was okay. He said he was. I told him if he wanted I'd stay there that night, but he told me he'd be okay." Eric sighed and ran his hand through his hair and over his face then looked over at Tami. Her eyes were twinkling and Eric could see where a tear had rolled down her cheek. "What?"

"You love him. You love Matt, like you love Julie."

"What are you talkin' about?"

'Like I said at the banquet before State last year, how proud you are of them, how you care about your players, how you love your boys. But there's something about Matt. You weren't angry with him because he got drunk. You aren't angry about Tim Riggins being drunk."

"Well, I'm not happy about it either."

"Okay, it upsets you, but it doesn't get you angry. You were angry with Matt because he wasn't being responsible. You've said pretty much the same thing to Julie, except you weren't yelling, you were growling. He disappointed you."

The room was quiet for a while. "I guess I do love Matt in a different way than my other players. It was disappointing. I said to Julie that I thought we might invite Matt and his grandmother over for dinner a few times and how she'd feel about that."

"You mean you actually asked her opinion rather than making a 'Coach Taylor Pronouncement?' Good for you." Tami leaned over and kissed Eric on the cheek. "What did she say?"

"She wasn't sure. I didn't want to push her 'cause it's obvious it's awkward between them right now, but I think it'd help bring him back. Plus I could use some of his grandmother's love for me. What do you think?"

Tami frowned slightly. "It's not a bad idea. I do think Julie would like to be friends with Matt and this could be a road for that. Remind me about it tomorrow morning."

"Why?"

"Well, I'm gonna have to see him because of what he said to his art teacher, and no I can't let that slide. He's gonna have at least one detention session for that. But it sounds like there might be some mitigating circumstances. I guess I'm gonna have a 'Matt chat.'"