Tuesday September 29th, The Loft

As if my life couldn't get any worse.

I just broke up with my boyfriend the love of my life who I will never fully be complete without.
My best friend is no longer speaking to me!
I am a Princess but thanks to me I don't even have a secure future anymore, which is leading to...
MY GRANDMOTHER TRYING TO FIND ME A HUSBAND!
It turns out I am using one of my best friends as a rebound guy.
And to top it all of MICHAEL STILL HASN'T WRITTEN BACK

Oh and I am no longer aloud to do the one thing that is keeping me calm in all this (writing in my journal) anywhere but in my room at home when I have done all my home work... I am not even supposed to be writing in it now, I am supposed to be describing a holiday destination that means something to me.

I still don't get why Michael hasn't written back, did I do something that made him not want to be friends. Maybe he has met another girl. Do you think Judith Gershner would have gone to Japan too? Maybe she is there working on some fruit fly cloning experiment and they met up and... and...

ARGHHHHHHHH! How could he do this to me? I mean Tina says that he probably just busy with his robotic arm thingy but Tina doesn't get it he was the one that wanted to be friends, if he really did he would have written back by now. I can't believe this still hurts so much. It just makes me feel worse about JP as well.

It all kind of came from a conversation I had with Lana today.

So I was sitting at lunch looking a bit worse for ware I have to say but that's understandable considering what my grandmother is trying to do. Lana sat down next to me and said "So what's with this ball thing your grandmother is having. My mom said she got an invitation for it yesterday."

"I think," I said a bit hesitant to tell Lana about my problems, I was glad that everyone else was still getting there lunch. "That she is trying to find me a husband" I continued. I was expecting her to laugh in my face but instead she just looked at me.
"That sucks" She replied "I hate how my mom is always trying to control my life, even down to what I wear but at least she has never tried to interfere with my love life."

I was shocked, I think that Lana had actually understood what I was talking about. She is the first person that has ever really got all the trouble that Grandmere caused me.

"I just don't know what I am supposed to do it is my debutante ball. I can't very well no go." I can't believe I am spilling my problems with my Grandmere. "I just know she is going to want me to dance with every single guy there." Much to my suprise she said something that actually helped.

"She can't if everyone knows you are already dating someone else." She said while taking a bite of her salad. "Then you could bring him as your date and you wouldn't have to dance with anyone else."

"But I'm not. And Michael is in Japan anyway." It was a nice idea but Lana seemed to forget that I just can't get a boyfriend in less then two weeks like she can.

"What about that JP guy, he's totally into you and everyone already thinks your a couple anyway." She didn't even look up from her food.

"I can't do that, I don't even know how a feel about JP yet and I am still not over Michael. I can't just pretend to like JP so that I can use him to get out of dancing with Prince William." I sort of said this last part a bit louder then I should have because Tina heard as she was sitting down.

"YOU'RE DANCING WITH PRINCE WILLIAM!" Tina screamed at me.

"It's just this stupid ball my Grandmother is throwing." I tried to make it sound as not cool as possible.

"Do you think that I would be able to come?" She was looking at me with her eyes so wide I could not possibly say no.

As soon as I said she could come I had Boris saying that he wasn't letting Tina go and dance with a Prince without him and that if Tina could go then he would go too. This was sooo sweet that I could not say no even if it was just a way for Tina and Boris to stop making out which Tina had started doing after what Boris had said.
So the next thing I know both Tina and Boris are coming with me to this ball. A ball where I am going to be the product being launched. I was lucky that JP was not here this time. He didn't arrive until after the excitement had died down.

But what Lana had said got me thinking. I mean what if I was to date JP, I mean I do like him and it looks like Michael as forgotten about me completely. Maybe I have to date JP to see if I liked him.

I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON! I can't use JP like that.

Maybe if I asked him as friend to go to the ball and just let Grandmere assume that we were dating. I mean it wouldn't be bad to bring him as friend to the ball would it. I could just explain to him what was going on and he would understand right...

Who am I kidding? I kissed JP I can't kiss him and then invite him to a ball as friends.

What am I going to do? I wish Lilly was talking to me.

No I don't Lilly doesn't deserve my friendship. No real friend would make a website like that.

It's just she would know what to do. I miss her I guess. And I miss Michael.

Maybe he has written back.