"RAINBOW KITTIES! FRISKIES AND BITTIES! I'VE GOT NITTIES!"
"The hell-"
"Oh, hey, Remus," said Esperanza cheerfully, before continuing her horrible song:
"THE CAT! RIDES ON THE MAT! SWATS AT A BAT CAUSE YOU KNOW I AM AWESOMEEEEEE."
Remus reminded himself never to let Esperanza sing while he was in the room. It wasn't that she had a bad voice, more like she was singing the worst song imaginable.
"Nice song!" he said, inching towards the door.
"Thanks, you like it?" beamed Esperanza. "It's my hit single. Rainbow kitties."
"Oh, okay," said Remus, laughing weakly.
"I'm gonna participate in a talent show back at my old Muggle school! You're invited to come and watch," she told Remus happily.
"Yay," he said unenthusiastically.
"I know!" she squealed, bouncing up and down. "Life is good!"
With that, she handed him a ticket to the talent show and ran off.
Remus stared at the ticket. Nothing would make her singing good. But something might make her singing enjoyable...
"Wait up! Esperanza!"
Esperanza didn't look back, but she halted. "Yeah?"
"Could I have three more? I want to invite my friends."

"You mean, she's having a concert?" said Sirius for the millionth time, staring down at the ticket in awe.
"She's participating in a Muggle talent show," corrected Remus, exasperated.
"I'm in!" Sirius yelled. Remus winced and blocked his ears.
"Sorry," said Sirius, not sounding sorry at all.
Peter was just as enthusiastic as Sirius: "She's having a concert?" he squeaked.
"It's not a flipping concert," grumbled Remus.
Sirius wiggled his eyebrows at Remus. "Nice to see you're extending your vocabulary, old chap."
"For the 511th time," said Remus through gritted teeth. "My name is not old chap."
"You've actually only told us that 56 times, actually," said James, who was staring down at his ticket as though he couldn't care less. "Remus, do I have to come?"
"You don't have to," said Peter. "If James isn't going, I'm not going either!"
They all stared at Peter, who looked rather self-conscious now.
"Wow, Peter," said Sirius. "Something to tell us?"
"Yeah," said Peter.
"What, you're in love with James?" sniggered Sirius.
Peter looked shocked. "Merlin, I hope you're joking! I'd pick someone who dresses better! No, it's because he has a girlfriend. If I do what he does, I'll get a girlfriend."
"Nope," said Sirius. "All of us but James are bloody loners. Not going to happen. Anyway, I'm going to Peranza's concert no matter what."
"It is a bloody TALENT SHOW!" yelled Remus.
Sirius jumped back, looking alarmed. "Hell, Moony, what's wrong? Your time of month?"
"No!" snapped Remus. "I just think you people are all being bloody illogical...except for James. Sirius wants to go because he's in love with Esperanza-"
"I am not!"
"Sure, that's why you call her Peranza, right?"
"Moony, are you sure it's not your time of month?" Sirius sounded genuinely concerned.
"I'm not on my period, if that's what you mean," muttered Remus.
"It's not," said Sirius, grinning.
James was still staring down at the ticket, an odd expression on his face. "Can I invite Maddy?"
"Are you crazy? No!"
"Why not?"
"Because this is a guy's night out!" said Sirius loudly. "Seriously! Siriusly...Seriously...hehe."
"No way do you think that's funny," said Peter incredulously.
Remus chose that precise moment to say, "Esperanza sings about rainbow cats."
Sirius, James and Peter all glanced at each other. Then they closed their eyes and fell back onto the sofa in the common room.
"Was it something I said?" said Remus smugly.

"WAKE UP-UP UP UP!"
"Shut up, Sirius," James groaned, pushing his head into the pillow.
"But it's Maddy's birthday!"
"WHAT?"
Sirius pointed at the calendar. "Look!"
"No way," muttered James weakly. "Well, let me go back to sleep," he grumbled, pulling the cover over himself once again.
"Nah," said Sirius cheerfully. "Remus, pass it."
"I didn't say I wanted to be a part of this prank," mumbled Remus.
"It's not a prank. Give me the bucket."
James was starting to get a feeling.
A very, very bad feeling.
"Okay, I'm getting u-"
SPLASH!
"The bloody hell, Sirius!" shouted James.
"You didn't get up," whined Sirius. "I had to do something!"
"I don't give a rats' arse, bastard," muttered James, getting out of bed. He shivered and then glared at Sirius.
"Couldn't you have poured hot water on me instead?"
"Merlin, no," shuddered Sirius. "I can tell you first hand how that feels. Worse than cold water. Besides, REMUS got the water!"
"EXCUSE me?" demanded Remus. "Sirius, if you're blaming me right now, you're about to die by my own hand."
"Why do you always want to kill me?" whined Sirius. "Anyway, Remmy, it's true. You DID get the water."
"Because you said you'd tell McGonagall that I tried to kiss Lily and that Lily had refused but when she refused, I got all abusive, if I didn't get the bucket of water!"
"Oh, yeah," recalled Sirius.
"Oh, yeah, all right," said Remus grimly.
"Sorry?" said Sirius, sheepish.
Remus lunged.