Wednesday, 10am, The loft
This is the second worst day ever. The first being the day that Michael broke up with me.
So I got to school this morning (without my journal... thanks Lars) and as I was walking in I ran into JP.
Hey Mia, so what's this ball all about?" I am not even joking that he what he said. How did find out about it??? Maybe he expects me to ask him to go with me... I mean we did kiss after all.
"Oh well it's just this stupid thing my Grandmother is making me do. How did you know about it?" I tried to sound as uninterested as possible so that he wouldn't think that I didn't want him to find out, I didn't but I can't let him know that. He would hate me.
"I got an invite yesterday. I didn't think that it sounded like something you would be into." The he turned to me stopped me looked me in the eyes and said "I'll only go if you want me too."
This just pushed me over the edge.
JP IS THE SWEETEST GUY EVER WHY AM I NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM!!!
I just suddenly felt like the worst person ever. How could I ever think about using someone like JP? The next thing I new I was trying to hold back the tears. But it was too much I started to cry and it wasn't just a single tear I started to ball my eyes out like I had that time when Michael had shown me the video game he made me.
Only this time I knew JP wasn't making fun of me he really loved me and I don't deserve it. This time I was the mean one I knew I was breaking his heart by reacting like this. I mean he hadn't even said anything bad it was just the look in his eyes. It was a look that I missed but it was coming from the wrong person.
So I just sat down in at the entrance to Albert Einstein High and cried. I couldn't stop myself. It was all I could think of doing. I knew everyone was staring at me I could hear JP and Lars asking what was wrong. I even hear Tina's voice. But all I could do was cry.
JP and Lars lifted me and carried me into the school. The next thing I new I was sitting in the nurse's office and she was asking everyone to leave so that I could calm down. I had stopped crying because I don't think I had any tears left.
I guess the nurse must have called my mom because she came and convinced me to come home with her. Not that it took much convincing my bed sounded really well.
So that is where I am now I am back where I started from. In my bed and I am back to the plan of never leaving it again. It was a good plan I don't know why I ever gave it up.
My mom just stuck her head in the door and told me that I had a letter. I don't even care it is probably just an invite to Grandmere's stupid ball. I am going to go to sleep..