Wednesday, 6pm, the loft

Ok so I think I just had the weirdest day ever! My mom got me out of princess lessons, but that's not even the best part.

I was feeling better after my mom and I talked, I guess she understands more then I thought. I didn't even get that upset when I checked my email and Michael still hadn't written back. I still got upset, I just didn't cry.

I thought my mom understood until a couple of hours ago when JP came to see how I was and…

SHE LET HIM IN!

She let him come up to my room without even warning me. I had total bed hair and I was in the worst clothes ever!

He stood at the door for a couple of minutes while I sat upright in my bed trying to work out what exactly had be going through my mothers mind to let anyone in… let alone JP!

I finally got over my initial shock and said "You want to come in."

With that he walked into my room and CLOSED THE DOOR! I started to freak out! I am not aloud in my room with a boy with the door closed. I kept glancing at the door waiting for Mr G to come in and pretend he was offering us a drink but really just leaving the door open, but he didn't come.

Then JP sat down on my bed next to me… I am surprised I didn't pass out.

"Mia, I think we need to talk" said JP, I was trying to hold back the tears because nothing good ever comes after those words. "I didn't want to have to do this so soon I thought that maybe things would continue along naturally but after what happened today I realized that I had to tell you."

I was confused, was he going to tell me that I was such a bad kisser that he didn't love me anymore because of it? Maybe he had found someone else. Maybe he was blocking my emails some how. No that is way too mean.

He opened his mouth to speak but before he could I blurted out "I'm sorry about what happened today, I'm sorry that I don't love you, I want to I am trying to… Ok so I haven't been trying very hard so far but I am going to start. Please don't hate me I know I can kiss better."

He seemed genuinely shocked by what I said. He looked like he was going to say something but he stopped himself.

"You are not a bad kisser Mia, in fact you're a really good kisser I just thought that you didn't want to kiss me again." He started to look a little strange; I realized he was holding back tears.

I don't know why I did it he just looked so sad and so well hot sitting there and I felt really bad that he was so upset because of me. I guess I also just wanted too. So the next thing I knew I lent across and kissed him. It was a really nice kiss, I think I might even have felt something we even moved on to frenching no worries. I drew the line when he tried to go for second base.

"I think you should go JP" I said but I didn't really sound very convincing so he just kept on kissing me. It was then that my mom knocked on the door we pulled apart just as she opened it to ask if JP would be staying for dinner. I am kind of glad that she did because I think things might have been getting a little out of hand and I may be ready to kiss another boy but I am defiantly not ready to go any further.

JP got up to leave and I remembered that JP had had something to tell me. He looked a bit funny when I brought it up but he just said it he wanted to ask me to come over to his house for dinner on Friday night… After princess lessons of course.

A part of me wanted to say no but I said yes because it seemed the kind of thing that Eleanor Roosevelt would have done. Because kissing JP scared me but having dinner with his parents and hanging out alone in his house that terrified me.

Still if he had wanted to ask me out why was he so shocked when I kissed him?

Oh and Michael still hasn't replied. I don't know what I would say back to him if he did. I guess I still feel a little guilty.

The worst part was that mom said if I am well enough to kiss JP I am well enough to go to school tomorrow.