Friday 3rd November, Dr Knutz's office
I have been picked and prodded so much I don't think that I have any hair left on my body and that's not even the last of it after my session with Dr Knutz I have to go and have my hair and make up done.
The worst part is that grandmere has got me a dress to wear and she is insisting that I wear it. I think that I am going to be a bit over dressed. But I suppose my day wasn't the worst it could have been. I mean seeing as I was getting all these treatments done to me I didn't have to spend much of my day with grandmere so it ended up being kind of relaxing... well apart from waxing and the plucking.
So I am now sitting here in Dr Knutz's office with my dad who is starting to look a little bit nervous and my grandmere who doesn't seemed phased at all. She is just sitting there with romel looking like the Meryl Streep in 'The Devil wears Prada.' Who I thought would have been a better image of Grandmere then the one they did in the movie about my life.
After the week I had I am going to have a lot to say to grandmere. He is calling me in now. I am going to go in by myself first and then dad and grandmere are going to join us.
Friday October 3rd, Limo on the way to JP's house
OK I know Grandmere has the wrong idea about all this but I have to admit she does have a way with dresses.
I am in this totally cute strapless (which I can wear now on account of my BOOBS that I have now). I think it might be a bit sexy for dinner with JP parents but still I have to say that I look hot! And my hair its got blonde high lights and its starting to grow out so it actually isn't looking to bad, and my make up isn't as over the top as I thought.
Therapy on the other hand was even worse then I could have imagined. Grandmere was nice, I mean she was scary children of the corn nice. She fully charmed Dr Knutz. I am just going to write everything directly as it happened because I don't it can be real.
So I walked in to Dr Knutz's office and he said his usual "How's your week been?" In his cheerful Cowboy way.
I just slumped on the couch.
"MY GRANDMOTHER IS TRYING TO SELL ME TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER! That's right she is trying to find me her sixteen year old grandchild the richest husband she can. My dad wont talk to me on account of what you told me to do last week. Well I did it and now my dad is really angry. I also took your advice and Kissed JP and now I think we are dating because well I also talked to my mom about my life for the first time ever and she told me too and now I realise its never really going to work out because he will never me Michael. Lilly is talking to me again but I can't actually tell her the truth because if she found out I was dating JP she would hate me again. Oh and I wrote back to Michael a week ago and HE STILL HASN'T REPLIED!!!! And all of this is your fault so what am I supposed to do now???" I said all this in one breath I don't know how I did it I just had to get it all off my chest.
"Hmm" he replied "Why is it Mia that you feel the need to blame me for your problems."
"Because" I blinked "You told me to do it."
"I told you to do nothing Mia, I told you to do what you thought was right and you did, I never said that everything was just going to work itself out because it wont. It takes work, but you have done really well and you should be proud of yourself." He smiled as he said this.
"You country is free like you wanted it to be is it not?" said Dr Knutz.
"Well yeah but," I said back determined not to give him to his Jedi like mind tricks.
"You knew that there would be consequences for this did you not but still you chose to do it because you felt like it was the right thing to do" he continued. "You kissed this boy JP because you wanted to right?"
"Well yeah I guess." Oh no I was starting to fold.
"Was there something wrong with this kiss did you not enjoy it?" I could see him holding back a smile... He was making fun of me.
"No there was nothing wrong with it. I mean it was good I guess." It felt weird to say that to my therapist.
"Isn't it a good thing that your friend is talking to you again isn't it?" Again with the Jedi.
"Of course it is" I guess I could see where he was going. "Ok so maybe everything didn't turn out as bad as I thought. But Michael still hasn't written back"
"Remember how you felt the first time that Michael wrote to you after the break up?" said Dr Knutz.
"Well yeah," I was a little confused what did that have to do with Michael.
"Did you ever think that maybe he felt the same when he heard from you?" He looked at me intensely as he said this.
I never thought that Michael might be upset about the break up because he was the one that had done the breaking but maybe Dr Knutz was right. Maybe it will just take time for Michael to write back. I hope that is right because that means that he might still love me a little. I have to stop thinking like this. Me and Michael are over.
"Well now Mia, I understand you have bought your grandmother and your father with you tonight. Why don't we bring them in and see if we can work out some of the issues?" Said Dr Knutz as he stood to walk towards the door.
He went out of the room for a min then returned with Grandmere but no dad.
"Your father has been called away on urgent business he said he will have to make it another time." Said grandmere then she said down next to me.
"So your highness your granddaughter seems to think that you are trying to sell her like a common prostitute. What do you say to that?" I can't believe he said that he just jumped right in no how are you no how do you feel today just straight to your granddaughter dobbed on you.
I fully expected grandmere to just look at me with disgust and tell me that what she was doing was for my own good then pull me out of the office and forbid me from ever seeing that man again. She might even have had him killed. But instead she laughed... No joke she laughed.
"Oh I am terribly sorry Amelia has a way of inventing drama in her life where there is none and she does tend to paint me as the bad guy. But that is ok because I only want what is best for her. I do understand that the last thing a sixteen year old girl would want to do would be to hang out with her old fashioned grandmother." said Grandmere after she had stopped laughing. "I can't say that I don't enjoy the company, I don't get out as much as I used to and it has been hard all these years to only see my dear Mia once a year."
I cannot believe her this is one of the only times she has ever called me Mia and she even said I was dear. I don't think that anyone is dear to her she is pure evil. But what she did next just took the cake. She turned right too me and said.
"I am sorry Mia if you think that I am pressuring you, it is only because I want to best for you and I only wanted to through you this little party because I didn't know what else to do. You were so down about your break up Michael that I thought it might be nice to see that there were other fish in the sea." Said grandmere. I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE CALLED MICHAEL BY HIS NAME! Well I know the way she was saying it was wrong but I guess it makes sense that she would do something like that. I guess she is not pure evil she just doesn't understand what to do about things like that in this day and age.
Anyway the rest of the session pretty much continued on like that. I guess I feel better about the whole ball thing, I know she is just trying to be nice in her own twisted way and Tina is really looking forward to it so it wont be that bad.
BUT I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE TRICKED DR KNUTZ INTO THINKING SHE WAS NICE! He is supposed to see through that sort of behaviour. I guess the dark side of the force is stronger then the light.
We are almost at JP I hope he doesn't kiss me, no wait maybe I do want him to kiss me.. I don't know.
Its too hard... I wish Dr Knutz had told me what to do.
Saturday October 4th, 12.30am,The loft
Well that wasn't as bad as I thought. JP was really sweet as usual and his parents weren't as bad as I thought they would be. I mean when I got to there house I was shocked by the size of it. I don't know why I was shocked I mean he is a broadway producer but still for anyone in this city to have that many bathrooms is just excessive especially when it is only for three people. Well and the staff, yes they have staff. I mean grandmere has staff but she is a Princess.
I kind of get the feeling that JP's dad would really like to be royal he did kind of bug me a bit about the whole making Genovia a democracy. But JP stepped in and made him stop which again was totally sweet of him. Every time I hang out with him he does something even sweeter then he did before.
The thing is with JP is that on paper, well maybe not on literally because not in my journal which is on paper but you get the idea. Well in theory he is the perfect guy for me. I mean he is everything I ever thought that the guy I would end up with would be like. But I guess it is kind of like how Fanny Price felt about Mr Crawford there is just still something about him that I don't trust after the whole Lilly thing.
Not that I think that he is going to run off with Lilly and ruin her reputation because he doesn't get any sex off me. But still I mean he did hurt Lilly so what's to stop him from hurting me? I don't think that JP is a bad person like Mr Crawford... Ok so maybe it is not the best metaphor.
Maybe I feel like Reese Witherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama you know like she is with this totally hot rich New York guy who everybody thinks is perfect for her. But all she really wants is the Southern guy she has always loved even though she can't really understand why. She says she wants to marry him so she can kiss him any time she wants. THAT IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL ABOUT MICHAEL. I just want to be able to kiss him. But unlike Reese I am not totally cute and rich so Michael doesn't even love me back. He doesn't even like me as a friend.
So anyway dinner at JP's went well, JP managed to steer the conversation away from anything that might have bothered me. Though he did say that he couldn't understand why I wouldn't want to be royal. I guess it's because he isn't and well also he is cute and actually talented, because apparently he has already gottern a grant for a book he is writing. He went all quiet when his parents mentioned it. He said that it was nothing. But I know he was just being modest but being a writer myself I knew that I shouldn't press to see it and that he would show me when it is ready. Still he said I could be the first to read it when he did all that though. HE IS SO SWEET!
Well anyway dinner was nice but then his parents had to go out, which I was not expecting. They had to go to some charity concert or event or something, which was weirs because you would think that Grandmere would have made me go, but I guess she is just excited I am dating anyone but Michael. So anyway after JP's Mom and dad left I started to freak out because Lars wasn't there I had never really been alone with any guy but Michael.
But it wasn't so bad he was really nice about it all. I said that I should call Lars, but he said that he promised to protect me. Then he suggested that we watch a movie. He even let me pick the movie. I picked Shawn of the Dead because that seemed to be the one that he really wanted to watch because he kept saying how good it was and how much i would like it.
It wasn't so bad, there was a bit too many zombies and not enough romance but it was kind of funny sometimes. And anyway he started kissing me pretty much at the start and we made out for most of the movie. He tried to get to second base a couple of times but I am still not ready for that. I don't think I am ready to have had anyone expect for Michael touch me like that. It was really nice kissing him. His neck still just smells like detergent but maybe you can't love the smell of every guys neck. He is a really good kisser so it wasn't bad.
After the movie he got me some frozen yogurt and we sat on his bed and talked. I don't know why I said it but it kind of slipped out that I was going to Lilly's house tomorrow night. When I said this JP looked really worried. He can be so sweet.
"Are you sure you think that it is right to hang out with her after the way she treated you??" Said JP with that worried look still on his face.
"It's all right" I said taking his hand. "Me and Lilly have been friends forever I can't just stop being friends with her because we had a fight besides I wasn't exactly the most supportive of her when she needed me. And I did break her brothers heart."
"Yeah but what about I mean is that something a friend would do" Jp pushed. He is always so concerned about me it is so sweet.
"And Michael broke your heart not the other way around. I just don't think that they deserve you." said JP. "Besides I don't think Lilly would want you to hang out with me."
"JP I am not going to let Lilly tell me who I can and can't hang out with. I will tell her about us tomorrow night." I lied. I just prayed he didn't see my nostrils flaring. I guess he didn't because after that he started kissing me again.
So then at 11.30 Lars came to pick me up which was kind of good because he was pushing to get to second allot more towards the end of the night.
And now I am sitting at home in a bedroom, I should be sleeping but I just can't. I am too wired about tonight. I guess that dating JP isn't as scary as I thought and the best thing is that JP said that he was OK with us keeping it a secret for a while just so that the press don't call me something nasty. So I don't have to worry about anymore before school kissing. But I still get to kiss him which is nice.
I am really bored... Maybe I will clean up my room.
Saturday 3rd of October, early morning, The loft
oh my god I have allot of stuff I am just wading through this huge pile of paper I have on my desk.
I found a whole bunch of receipts from when I went shopping with Lana. And a bunch of stuff I have ripped out of my school books. Mostly journal entries.
Saturday, Five minutes later
I just found the letter my mom told me about. It's not from Grandmere.
It's from JAPAN!!!!