Disclaimer: Nothing in the Charmed world belongs to me and no copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter 4 Time Loop
Chris had spent the night sitting on the couch in the backroom of P3, not even bothering to try to sleep again. But not sleeping hadn't kept the memories away, for they were just that. Not necessarily just nightmares but true events that he had lived through so very long ago and they were coming back to haunt him in the worst way imaginable now.
But he knew he had to put it behind him if he was to continue in his quest to save Wyatt and by his calculations they were running out of time before they would have to do just that. So he checked his reflection in the mirror, noticing that the dark circles under his eyes were noticeable if anyone was looking for them. But the Halliwell family had much more to be concerned with than whether or not their Whitelighter was sleeping well enough. Whitelighter, he thought snorting to himself, if they only knew the truth. Chris was positive that even if he had died he would have been the Elders' last choice for a Whitelighter. But that was just one more of the secrets he had to keep to himself. There were so many anymore though. Sometimes he wondered if he would ever be able to keep it all straight.
But for now he was doing well with it, so he affixed a passive look on his face and orbed out to the Manor ready for the next demon hunt to begin.
When he orbed into the kitchen he was surprised to see his younger-self sitting at the table eating a huge breakfast and acting as if he'd lived there his entire life. Funny, I don't remember feeling that comfortable here after the first night, he thought ironically to himself. Piper turned and gave Chris that tight smile that he was becoming accustomed to in this timeline. It was the type of smile that you give someone who you have to spend time with even if you really didn't want to and unfortunately Chris realized that, all to painfully, he was not wanted there. But he knew now was not the time to dwell on such thoughts, no matter how much they might sting. "Hey, how's he doing?" he asked knowing it was a subject that Piper would want to talk about at least. She always wanted to talk about her children. How ironic it was that they meant everything to her when he meant so little.
The boy looked up at his words and was about to flee from the room until he saw the young man standing across the kitchen and for some odd reason the urge to flee left as fast as it had come and he stared wide eyed at him with his head cocked to the side as if trying to figure out a mystery. Chris noticed the look and immediately understood the reason behind it. He could feel it too and it didn't exactly surprise him. Bianca had told him that the spell would make sure that he didn't lose his powers when he traveled back in time but neither of them had realized that he would have to share those powers with his six year old self and in doing so it would create a link between them that only they could sense.
Piper hadn't noticed the strange look that was passing between them as a smile covered her face at the thought of her new son. She was slightly surprised that Chris had asked about the boy's well being though. The day before it had almost seemed as if Chris really could care less about the boy but maybe that was just because the danger was over by then and Chris being the Neurotic Whitelighter on a mission never seemed to have time for anything else but demons anyway. "I think he's doing well. Wyatt mentioned that he had some nightmares during the night but he calmed down when he spoke to him." Piper had been glad that they had decided to bunk the child in with her oldest son. Somehow she felt more confident that he would be well protected under Wyatt's watchful eye and if needs be his force field too. None of them knew if killing the Karas demons would bring repercussions or not.
Chris nodded at that remembering the nights after he had first came to live at the Manor. The nightmares had been severely frightening to a small child but it looked to Chris as if the child was dealing well with them. As a matter of fact he seemed even more relaxed than Chris did. The resilience of youth, he guessed shaking his head slightly. If only he could deal as well now as he did when he was six. But at six years old he had had a very overly protective older brother to help chase away the nightmares. Now he had no one.
At that exact moment, as if thinking about him could make him appear, Wyatt came barreling into the room his mind set on one thing only and nearly knocked Chris over where he stood. "Mom, do you know where my baseball glove is. I want to teach the kid how to play catch." Piper winced at the term 'the kid' and watched as Chris stepped out of Wyatt's way just in time rolling his eyes also.
"Hello, Wy," Chris said when he realized that the boy wasn't going to say anything to him.
"Oh. Hey, Chris. I didn't see you standing there. You want to play catch with us?" Wyatt's mouth ran at what seemed like a hundred miles a second.
"Thanks anyway, Wy. But I have lots of work to do today," Chris answered ruffling his hair, eliciting a groan from the eight year old.
"You always have work to do. Don't you ever get tired of demon hunting?" Wyatt complained taking a seat next to the boy that he had dubbed 'the kid'.
Chris thought about that question before he answered and he decided to go with a little truth. "You know I do get tired of demon hunting, Wy. More than anyone here might guess." Both Piper and Wyatt looked at him in surprise at that but neither said a word not wanting to stop Chris from divulging any information he was willing to give. It didn't happen often. "But if I can change things for the better in the future, well it's worth giving up some of the things I'd much rather be doing. Believe me playing catch with you guys sounds like a lot more fun than interrogating demons in the underworld or sitting in that dusty old attic looking through the Book of Shadows for the millionth time."
Wyatt accepted his words just shrugging. He was slightly surprised by them since he had secretly been wishing that he could someday soon go on a vanquish with his mom and aunts and their crazy Neurotic Whitelighter. But he was only eight years old and knew that it would be a few more years until they even considered such a thing. He had just assumed that Chris being a guy would enjoy the thrill of a good demon hunt. But then again, Chris was a Whitelighter and they were supposed to be passive and all, so maybe Chris didn't want to have to do that after all.
Piper though was not willing to pass the statement off with a shrug. They had all assumed that this young man, who was obsessed with demon hunting, had somehow managed to become a Whitelighter but wasn't it possible that necessity was what drove him instead of obsession? They hadn't been able to get a straight answer from him since arriving on what exactly he was trying to stop happening. He had said that a demon 'got to' Wyatt in his timeline and it had caused all kinds of havoc but that was such a vague term that it could have implied many things. Did a demon kill her son? Or maybe take him? There were hundreds of things that a demon could do to a young boy. Heck some demons could steal your powers. That was the one thing she had considered to be most likely. A demon with the powers of the Twice Blessed would certainly have caused havoc in Chris' timeline. Enough havoc for the Elders to send someone back to change things.
Never once had she thought about the fact that just maybe Chris would have much rather not been in the position he was in. "Chris, I know we don't often appreciate what you are doing here, but we would all understand if you needed to take a break." And for some reason looking at him it seemed as if he might just need one. For the first time she noticed how dark the circles were around his eyes and even how pale his skin was looking. Why hadn't she noticed that before? Normally being the motherly type she noticed any time someone around her looked even slightly ill, but with Chris she just didn't seem to notice. She hated to consider the fact that maybe in Chris' case she just hadn't cared enough to notice but it was always a possibility.
"Whoa now! It was just a simple statement, Piper. I have way too much to do to think about taking a break, and if I'm right I'm gonna need you and your sisters for a vanquish a little later on anyway." Chris hadn't meant to get Piper's motherly instincts worked up. That was the last thing he needed under the time constraints he had to work with. "Time is running thin as it is, so none of us can afford to slack off now anyway," he added realizing that sooner or later he was gonna have to light a fire under the sisters if he was ever to hope to save Wyatt.
"What does that mean?" she asked hearing the urgency in his voice.
Chris sighed realizing that just maybe he might want to let some of the information he was guarding so close come to light. He glanced at Wyatt though and she realized exactly what he was thinking. "Wyatt, honey, your glove is in the corner cupboard in the attic. Why don't you run along and get it. Then you two can go play catch."
Wyatt rolled his eyes and stood knowing he couldn't argue with his mother. "You do realize that I know you two want to talk about me, don't you?"
Chris had to chuckle at that one. Wyatt had always seemed so much older than he really was, but then again, so had Chris. The family had always assumed that living so close to magic and the harsh realities it contained had made the boys grow up faster than they normally would have. But sometimes it was still frightening to realize just how mature the young ones could be when they wanted to. "Yeah well, you don't need to know everything all the time, blessed one," he answered him using a nickname that his younger self would some day soon impart on his sometimes overly perfect older brother.
Wyatt rolled his eyes yet again and even went so far as to stick his tongue out at him before he ducked out of the kitchen door but just to get in the last word called over his shoulder. "I'm not the one with a million secrets, future boy."
Piper stared pointedly at Chris and couldn't stop the comment that came to her lips. "He has a point, you know?"
Chris smiled slightly to himself and nodded. "Yes, yes he does, and if you'll listen to me, I might consider divulging one of them to you."
Piper turned then to the newest edition to her family. He had stopped staring at Chris and instead was concentrating on the food in front of him and seemed oblivious to the conversation around him. She hated to stop him from enjoying his breakfast but this conversation with Chris promised to be a very important one. She glanced back at Chris and he could see the hesitancy on her face, so decided to help her with the situation.
He crossed the kitchen and kneeled next to the little guy and waited till he had his attention then he leaned in and whispered a few words into his ear. He looked at Chris and frowned slightly but of course did not speak. "I promise you. I know what I'm talking about."
The kid looked at him skeptically but felt as if he should believe him. Chris could see that a little convincing would be in order so he leaned in again and whispered a few more words that seemed to take more time. When he pulled back the boy looked at him with wide astonished eyes but nodded a couple of times as if understanding something that would normally seem strange to him but accepting none the less.
After that he picked up several strips of bacon and stood from the table leaving the room to follow Wyatt still happily munching on what had become his breakfast to go. Chris watched him smiling the entire time, still amazed at how well the boy seemed to be fitting in. He couldn't imagine why that one act would be so much easier for a child than the adult he had become. Fitting in was something Chris had yet been able to do in this timeline and honestly he wasn't quite sure if he'd ever manage it.
"What did you tell him?" Piper asked with some suspicion.
"Just that you will fix his favorite meal for dinner tonight if he went and played with Wyatt for a while," Chris answered only half lying. Much more had been said but he wasn't about to divulge any more.
Piper frowned at first and then the frown turned into a scowl. "And just how am I supposed to do that if I don't know what his favorite food is, unless you somehow happen to know?"
Boy that was a loaded question if he'd ever heard one. If he told her that he in fact did know the boys favorite food, she'd wonder how he knew it. No that was just too risky a chance to take. "Piper, the boy has been living off of demon scraps for the last six years. Any food you fix him will be his favorite food since he's probably never ate it before anyway and it has to be a damn sight better than anything he's had till now."
Piper's scowl turned into a look of disdain. "So you basically lied to him to get him out of the room. Chris, when are the lies gonna stop?"
His mouth gaped in surprise. He had done her a favor and gotten the kid out of the room and she was berating him for how he did it. Why do I even try, he thought angrily to himself? Nothing I say is ever going to get through to them. None of them ever believe me. Chris wanted to just orb away and put all of it out of his mind but he knew that he couldn't. His reasons for being in this timeline and in this kitchen at this very moment were much more important than his bruised emotions. But he knew he'd have to give her something more to get her off of his back. "Fine, his favorite food is your homemade vegetarian lasagna. Fix him that and you'll have him hooked forever."
Piper's eyes widened and just how he'd feared more questions rose in her mind. "But how could you know that? Do we know you in the future, Chris?"
There were a million lies he could tell her to explain it away but the comment she had made about him lying still stung when he thought about it. He couldn't tell her the truth. Not the exact truth. He could never do that, but he could tell her something that would be true and still keep his secret. "I know that because I've been here before in this timeline, several times actually."
Piper shook her head not at all understanding how that was possible. She turned and took a seat at the kitchen table and waited for a better explanation. And Chris was about to give it to her when bright blue and white orbs shone through the room. They both glanced towards the sink as Leo appeared there.
Leo immediately smiled at Piper but the smile faded as he saw Chris leaning against the refrigerator door. He could see the confused look on Piper's face and the scowl that formed on Chris' the moment he appeared. "What's going on?"
Chris just looked away with no intention of having this conversation while Leo was around. Piper on the other hand was glad that Leo was there. He out of all of them seemed to have a better grasp of time travel and how it worked. "Chris was just about to explain to me about how he's been in this timeline many times before and that's why he knows so much about us and our family."
Leo glanced sharply at Chris. This was something new that none of them had ever heard before. "Go ahead. Don't let me stop you," he said crossing his arms over his chest and waiting patiently.
Chris gave Piper a withering glare and then continued with what he was going to say. "I have to admit this is really confusing. But I'm sort of in a time loop here. I've come back to this time period six times already and every time my mission has failed and then when I go back I turn around and do it right over again. That's why I know so well exactly what is going to happen. I just keep reliving it all over again but it always manages to get messed up somehow in the end."
Leo knew what Chris said was very possible. There was nothing that would keep him from doing it over and over again but something about it just didn't seem right. Then it dawned on him. "But wait, if you know what happens then you should already know who the demon is that you say gets to Wyatt."
Chris sighed deeply and shook his head. "I'm afraid not. I don't know why and I don't know how but whenever I return to my own time the memories of what happens to Wyatt aren't there anymore. I remember a little more each time as if I've somehow made it further in my mission, but never that far."
"So what does happen to Wyatt?" Leo asked accepting for the moment that maybe Chris was telling the truth.
"I've already told you too much," Chris answered knowing the heated argument it would cause but unable to keep from it. "What I just told you only really concerns me and since I'm not from this timeline it shouldn't matter that much, but anymore and I could change things for the worse. I don't want to do that."
Piper had been staring at the floor listening to his words trying to comprehend how something like that could be possible but his refusal to answer Leo's question was what stood out in her mind the most. Her head began to move back and forth as anger built inside her. "So let me get this straight. You have failed six times already and you are still unwilling to tell us enough information that might be able to save our son." She looked up then and Chris could see the rage in her eyes. "How can you be so cruel?"
Chris swallowed hard hearing her question and he had to look away from the anger and pain in her eyes. "I'm not trying to be cruel to you, Piper. There's just a balance that I'm trying to keep that will keep everyone whole and alive and it's hard to know what's safe to divulge and what's not."
"But you failed. Every time you've failed, Chris. Don't you think that just maybe that should tell you that you're not cut out for this mission and you should leave it to others that might be able to handle it better?" Leo suggested.
Chris could hear the lack of confidence in Leo's voice and it burned him up inside to hear it. "Actually, Leo, I did try it that way once. The second time I came back. Let's just say the result was even more disastrous than my original timeline. I've discovered that the less I change the better things work out. But there's gotta be something I can change that will bring success. I just haven't figured out what it is yet."
"So what, my family gets to be your guinea pigs and hopefully someday you'll get it right. But until then you'll just keep plugging away and sacrificing my son for it. I'm not gonna let you do that, Chris." Leo's voice had steadily become louder with every word until he was finally shouting.
Chris couldn't respond. What could he possibly say to allay their anger and fears? Nothing. There was nothing left to say. Accept the one thing he had originally meant to tell Piper when the conversation had started. "Well I don't see where you have much choice in the matter because the demon that gets to Wyatt does so very soon. My last memory from the last time I came here happens in just a few weeks." With those words he orbed out leaving two very stunned people in his wake.
"A few weeks, Oh my god, Leo. What are we gonna do?" Piper hadn't felt so frightened in a long time. Chris' words had given her a sense of impeding doom to cling to and it was frightening to say the least.
"I'm going to find out what he is hiding and we are gonna save our son's life, that's what we are going to do," Leo answered walking over and wrapping his wife in a tight hug. "But first I think I need to spend some time with my son."
Piper clung to him for a moment more and then nodded as she pulled away. She understood how he felt. Whatever Chris was there to prevent had them both spooked and the idea that something horrible would happen to her baby made her want to have him by her side every second of the day, but something else also occurred to her. "Actually, you need to spend some time with both your sons."
Leo stared at her for a second as if he needed to remember something but then it clicked. "Sorry, still getting used to the idea, but you are right. He needs just as much attention as Wyatt does, doesn't he?"
But unbeknownst to either of them an invisible form had been standing near the doorway to the basement during the entire conversation and if not for fear of revealing himself he would have cackled in delight at the way that had went. There was enough fear floating through that room to feed him for days but being the greedy demon he was he much preferred the fear of his chosen victim so he shimmered out and reappeared, still in his invisible form, on top of the Golden Gate Bridge where Chris had fled to.
Chris had orbed to the one place that he felt free from the world and all of the pain that it could bring him. The bridge. The only place that Leo had every taken him during his childhood that he had considered to be a secret between he and the father he had always wanted but never quite been able to please enough to receive affection from. Ironic now that in a time when Leo hated him the most it was the one place where Chris most wanted to be. "I only ever wanted to please you," he whispered sadly knowing that he would never be able to do that. "And all I've done is make you hate me."
He silently berated himself for giving out too much information this time. He had only made things worse and if things kept going the way they were they'd hate him even more this time around then they ever had before.
A/N: All right, I should mention that this fic will mostly be revolving around Chris, Wyatt, Little Chris, Piper, and Leo. It probably won't have much of Paige and Phoebe in it. They have pretty much moved on and have their own families to take care of. They will make some appearances but not as many as in my last fic. So that being said, what do you think?