Saturday 10th October, Cab on the way from the Four Seasons
I guess some of the press must have seen us last night after all because when I got to the Four Seasons it was surrounded by them. Camera's flashing. We saw them before then saw us which was lucky because everyone darted in front of me so that they wouldn't be able to see.
I just ran back to the cab jumped in and told him the drive. I knew that the others would be ok, but I just couldn't let them see me coming home at 9am in the morning still wearing the same thing I was last night. I would never live it down, I would be branded a part princess forever.
So now I am just going to go home and try to stop my head from hurting. It just keeps getting worse. I think I just need to sleep. I hope my mom will forgive but I am quite sure that my dad will not. I think I will pick up a paper just to see what exactly they have decided to say about me.
Saturday 10th of October, the Penguin house at the Zoo
OMG!!! MY LIFE IS OVER. The sad thing is that I am not even exaggerating this time.
I can't believe he did this too me.
I can't believe I let this happen!
WHY AM I SO STUPID!
I hate him, I know I say that a lot lately but I really mean it. I hate him with all my heart.
I never thought I would say this but I should have listened to Lilly. JP is the biggest jerk in the world.
HE WROTE A BOOK!
Why I didn't think that it was weird that someone JP's age was getting a book published??? I mean he would have to have written a hell of book. Like maybe one a about America's own Princess. A book about the Princess of Genovia written by her boyfriend!
I am getting tears in my journal, which is turns out is the only thing I can trust.
His book, his stupid book! Why didn't I see this coming?
Because I am stupid and I thought that he actually liked me. I guess I liked the idea that somebody loved me if Michael didn't. Now I don't have Michael and I never will, and I have a 'tell all' book written by the one guy I thought I could tell anyway.
NO WONDER I DON'T OPEN UP BECAUSE WHEN I DO SOMEONE WRITES A BOOK ABOUT IT!
I can't stop crying, I am so scared. I can't even call my mom because she is going to kill me for trusting JP and I lost my phone somewhere last night. No wonder JP ran away so fast when he saw the reporters at the hotel. I just thought that he didn't want them to get a picture of us coming home together at that time in morning because they would jump to conclusions.
I thought he was being sweet, I am officially the stupidest person alive. Lilly was so right. No wonder she thought I was an idiot.
I am going to live here with the penguins, then I will be happy. Maybe after a while everyone will forget about me and no one will buy JP's book and then I can move to Iceland and live by myself and never talk to anyone or trust anyone ever again.
You want to know the worst part, I almost did with him last night. I mean he wanted to and I was so drunk that I almost did, if I Tina hadn't interrupted I totally would have. What a chapter that would have made?? Oh well I guess he will talk about how frigid I am.
I wish I lived in Iceland! No one would care that I am Princess because they are too busy reading and going to the opera. They are way too smart to read the tabloids. I could live out my days writing books that everyone would read because in Iceland there is nothing to do but read.
I think I am going to vomit.
I wish Michael was here.
Saturday 10th October, the Penguin house at the Zoo
OK it is starting to get a bit crowded in here. I guess it has gotten more popular since I was last here, that movie about the dancing penguin probably helps.
It sucks because everyone is staring at me. I suppose you don't often see someone in a ball gown sitting in the penguin house at the zoo. It might also be because I am sitting on the floor. I look gross anyway because my make up is running because of all the crying I am doing.
I don't want to be crying I just can't think of anything else to do. I mean my life was made into a movie, but it wasn't really my life. It was a made up story about someone who was supposed to be me. It wasn't me, but JP knows all kinds of personal things about me, how can anyone be so mean.
He said that he loves me.
You can't do something like to someone that you love.
Oh God! I just can't do it anymore. I give up, I want someone to take it all back. I don't want to be a princess. I don't want to grow up. I don't want to have a book written about me. I want to go back to when all I had to worry about was failing algebra.
Oh god someone is calling my name. They have found me the reporters have found me.
I am safe nowhere.