Current Affairs
Anunnaki Part 19
By Michele
Rating: NC-17
Summary: a classroom of kids in Chicago get show and tell, Stacy is helping with foreign policy, Matthew is having some issues, Jack gets more than he needs to know about Nate's recent date, the Tok'ra visit for lunch, and Daniel kisses owies.

Note: I am aware that Daniel is supposed to be about 39-40, he stated in the ep 1969 that he was 4 at that time, but I forgot about that when I started this series, and I placed him at his real-life age, 36.

Jack dismissed a Captain and a Lieutenant from his home office, and a smaller body came in around them.

"Hi, baby," Jack greeted her as he pulled a report from the pile.

"Hi, Jack." He pushed his chair back a few inches and groaned in mock pain as Stacy slid onto his lap.

His new offices were almost ready; they were currently going through a final inspection before the furniture arrived. The back air field was complete and in use, and in the meantime, he had been using their home as his office. Stacy had begun getting used to strange military people going in and out, and a couple of regulars were getting friendly and would talk with her, if they weren't in a rush to get somewhere; she was even recognizing the various ranks. People beaming in and out no longer fazed her, either, and more than once she had been on the Heaven's Bow to play with cubs and the few Anunnaki children that were left. Jack had begun inviting the children down for a Saturday or Sunday, and letting them play in a nearby stream during the warm summer weather. It was no chore to find a couple of SGC personnel to babysit for a day. If the adults were coming down for fun and games, Jack was closing his ears to the information.

Daniel had been gone for a week; he was in Chicago giving a private lecture at the University. His presence was begged for when Ninurta's retranslated translations hit the faculty. The new translations were slightly more feminist than the original translations, and the more conservative staff members were having a problem with the social power Ninurta had given the ancient females of Sumeria.

"For some reason, they seem to think Inanna was an exception to the rule," Ninurta grunted. "If they had bothered to read the entire list of leaders, instead of picking out only the male names, maybe they would have gotten a much clearer picture. Did they think the priestesses were sitting around picking their noses? It was the Babylonians and Persians that pushed them around, not us." He grumbled for a while until Daniel put a copy of a story called Inanna's Descent in front of him and told him it was VERY incomplete and no one had discovered a complete copy. Ninurta rolled his eyes at what had been translated and went to work. I'm a warrior, not a scribe, he grumbled.

So Daniel fell under the weight of mothballed old men and hopped on a plane; he didn't want to be beamed over, he wanted to take his time and make the old fogies wait. Jack was enjoying being Dad during the week; it gave him one on one time with the little girl he had begun thinking of as his step-daughter. Up till then, it had been Daniel most of the time with her, and Sam spending time with her on the weekends when she was home. With Sam currently bogged down at Area 51 with Camulus, it was Jack and Stacy time. Jack would be taking Stacy to Chicago at the end of the week; Daniel had set up a lecture for the kids at her old school, and they would be taping it for distribution. Stacy was excited and asked Cassandra to take her shopping for a new dress. Jack thought Stacy's dress was a little older than she should be wearing, but Cass assured him that she was in style and would knock 'em dead. Jack wasn't sure a 10 year old should be knocking anyone dead.

"Did you pick your secretary, yet?" she asked.

"Not yet," he said. "And I'm told they don't like to be called secretaries anymore, they are Administrative Assistants. I'm considering one of these three." He pulled three files from the stack. Davis had tossed out almost 100 applicants before handing in a final 20 for Jack's consideration. Stacy looked at the files.

"I didn't like her," she commented, poking at one of the files. Jack looked at it.

"You didn't? Why?"

"She smelled," Stacy wrinkled her nose. "And she kept looking around like she was going to buy something, and she wiggled her butt when Daddy came in."

"Oh, she did, did she? Good eye, kiddo, she's outta here," Jack declared and tossed the file in the can. Stacy was right; the woman wore entirely too much perfume and seemed more interested in the price of things rather than the heart of the matter, which was keeping the General happy and being of actual use to him.

"I liked this one," Stacy continued, pulling out one of the remaining files.

"How come?"

"She reminds me of Mrs. Arthur," Stacy said, sounding more studious than her age. "When you were done talking to her, she stopped and helped me with my homework and then she straightened the window ledge books before she left." Sam had created a reading spot at the front window, complete with a cushioned seat and small, two shelf book shelves.

"She did? Well, then, how about we bring her in for a second interview?" Jack suggested. Stacy nodded. She spotted a piece of paper and pulled it out.

"This is Goa'uld," she said, looking at it after pushing her glasses up. "Daddy's been teaching me a little, and Teal'c teaches me a couple of words when he comes to visit, and I hear it all the time on Heaven's Bow." She absently touched her necklaces, one gold chain permanently entwined around a leather thong. She refused to take them off, even at bath time.

"Really? Can you read any of this?" he poked at the paper. He was startled when she hesitantly verbalized a couple of sentences, touching the characters as she sounded them out. She had skipped words that were beyond her current understanding, but she hit the rest.

"Wow, you're doing really well," he congratulated her. "That's better than I can do, actually."

"I'm learning Sumerian, too," she said. "Inanna talks to me in it all the time. I like how it sounds. Lots of SH sounds. It's pretty. I don't like the Spanish teacher in school; she sounds like she's from New York or New Jersey, and it makes her Spanish sound funny, not like Mr. and Mrs. Gutierrez down the street. Do I have to learn Spanish, Jack?" She said 'Gutierrez' with the proper accent and pronunciation, he noticed.

"I'll ask your Dad about it," he promised. He was happy that she had opened up to him; he knew her first impression of him wasn't the best, an emergency beam-in during a battle and with him in General Jack mode. With Daniel's recent schedule, Jack had been spending more alone time with her and she had begun to know him for himself, instead of the General.

Jack hugged her tight and pressed his face in long brown hair. She giggled as his fingers dug into her side. A light throat clearing came from the doorway.

"Paul! Help!" she screeched in laughter as Jack growled and bit her shoulder.

"Major Davis, did you know this child is learning not only Sumerian and Goa'uld, but is complaining about a North Eastern accent that her Spanish teacher has?" Jack informed his assistant. "Who could she possibly remind us of?"

"I'm not sure, Sir, but maybe we should hire her for our international conferences," Davis suggested.

"I knew I kept you around for a reason," Jack told him. "And she doesn't like Ms. Brown, apparently the lady smells funny and wiggles her butt at Daddy, but she does like Mrs. Clark. Mrs. Clark helps with homework. Let's bring Mrs. Clark back for another interview." Actually, Jack liked Mrs. Clark, too; she had worked at the Pentagon and knew protocols and procedures better than the other applicants, some of whom had worked only on bases.

"Yes, sir."

"Paul, how come you always call Jack Sir?" Stacy asked. Jack and Sam had been discovering that Stacy's favorite words were What, Why, and How. It kept them on their toes and quickly made them show her how to Google and Ask Jeeves.

"Because he's a General and I'm a Major and it's polite," he said. "Sometimes I call him Jack when we aren't working or if we are talking in private."

"And we are working, so how about you pretend to be Zu and vanish?" Jack said to her, pecking loudly at her cheek.

"Can I call Zu to come and play?" she asked.

"Sure, but make sure he uses the toilet, and not the hood of my truck," Jack told her.

Stacy hopped off his lap and ran out of the study, calling out loud for Zu to come to her. A minute later, the men heard a squawk. The adults had discovered that Zu was actually a pretty decent babysitter; he could communicate with the kid and let them know immediately if there was a problem. Jack did have to intercede once when a couple of parents from down the street complained that the bird was teaching their kids not so nice words.

"What's up, Paul?" Jack asked when the door was closed. He could see the 'personal business' on the major's face. Davis sat.

"I'm having dinner with Nate tonight," he said. "Just to talk, see where his head is at. If you have an opinion in all this, I'd be interested."

Stacy wasn't the only one opening up around Jack. With the two of them having to work more closely than they had before, Jack was discovering that Davis had a quick mind and was pleasant company. He could even play chess, and that gave him points in Jack's book. He even liked the Simpsons, although he was convinced there was a conspiracy of some kind going on.

"I don't have an opinion that matters," Jack said. "This is about Nate. He's his own person. Sure, I'm feeling a little weirded out about it, but that's my problem, not his or yours. We can work together, no matter what happens. I'm actually more concerned with Cassandra. She's a tough little girl but she has a tender heart."

"I know, Jack," Paul nodded. "I sorry, I should have clarified; Cassandra will be at dinner, too, as will Nick. Everyone's opinion matters, especially that of the 'significant others.' And if it helps any, I'm finding it a little weird, too, considering sex with Nate. It isn't something that's been on my to-do list. I've spent these past four weeks doing not much more than thinking about it. The pros and cons. I realize that no one is proposing a full relationship, but this is big. For Nate AND Cassie. I can get Nate through this, if he allows me to. I understand the process that Daniel took you through, and I've spoken with Shara and Gibil about it. If this were anyone else, I'd refuse but if Nate has even a fraction of your strength, he'll be fine. I'm concerned about our working relationship, and what I like to think of as a growing friendship."

Jack nodded, understanding what Davis was saying. He leaned back, putting a booted foot up on the desk as he swung in his chair.

"I do consider you a friend, Paul," Jack acknowledged. "I consider you part of our extended family. I told you before; you are part of SG-1. That makes you family. Nate was originally offered a talk with Inanna's boys, but this was his choice. I really don't think he's attracted to you, nothing personal; he knows you and he trusts you. I know how important it is to trust someone during this kind of experience. There is no one other than Daniel that I could have done that with, and believe me, if I had known about that little ritual before we started seeing each other, it would probably have scared me off. I know where Nate's mind is at, and it isn't a beach on Hawaii; he found the courage to say a name, so I will back his decision."

That was good enough for Paul, and they got back to business. Jack had reluctantly agreed to let a few Middle Eastern pilots into the mix, and they needed to weed out the applicants before sending the rest of the files to Gen. Landry for a final decision in who would be the best training material. Jack was not going to give the Middle East building materials, yet, but he would take a few new personnel from Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Israel, Palestine, and Egypt. The State Department was pressuring Jack to give Israel more responsibility, considering they were an important ally of the US but Jack refused, citing the continual problems between Israel and Palestine. Once more, an Israeli had opened fire on a Palestinian settlement. Israel pointed a retaliatory finger at Palestinians and Jack declared that they had made his point for him. He wasn't going to take sides; his job was to protect the planet from alien attacks, not play favorites with the children. Grow up or get off his playground. Jack received another whining phone call from the President. Stacy said the Israeli and Palestinian leaders needed to be locked in a bathroom together and Jack told the President he couldn't have thought up a more appropriate punishment himself.

Saudi Arabia was having a difficult time with the fact that they would have to play nice with women. Jack deliberately took Sam and Inanna to that meeting and sat back, letting the ladies run with it. Davis was highly amused by it and was deliberate in his own behavior, being more deferential than usual to the women instead of the ranks. The SF guards were also on their best behavior, as were Ninurta, standing in service behind Inanna, and Shara, in service behind Sam. Aliens were not going to play the gender game, so if the Saudis wanted in, they'd have to get with the program.

North Korea, India, and Pakistan all wanted in. Jack told them that when they stopped playing games with nukes and started taking care of their people, he'd consider them. North Korea threatened a nuclear strike and Jack told them to go ahead and give it their best shot. So far, North Korea hadn't called Jack's bluff. The large alien ship over Korea might have had something to do with it. The State Department, Joint Chiefs, NATO, and the UN were having heart attacks over Jack's sense of diplomacy and lack thereof. There was talk of taking Jack off the job due to him playing God but the delegates from the countries that were on board threatened to walk. They were happy with someone finally standing up and not taking crap from bullies, and that included the bullies running their own countries. The planet needed to be brought together as a whole, and someone was actually doing it.

"Stacy!" Jack yelled. She came running in. He held up a red tack and she eagerly took it. "South Africa," he told her. She paused and looked at him.

"What? They're trying," Jack said. She put the tack in the map.

She went to the large wall map of the world and pinned the appropriate country. Red tacks were for personnel, green tacks were for Yards. So far, there were six green tacks and 18 red tacks.

Jack read an email and burst out laughing. Davis looked at him.

"A small Baptist group cornered Ninurta this morning while he was in Chicago with Daniel," Jack told him.

Davis smiled and winced. "Ouch. Did it go as well as the exorcism of Zu?"

"Yeah, just about."

A paranormalist with a large cross attempted to exorcise Zu during a half-day seminar that Daniel held in Atlanta. Zu deliberately swore in various languages, pooped, hung upside down, twisted his head around, and popped in and out around the room, including under someone's dress. Daniel stood at the podium and shut his eyes. When the exorcist ran screaming from the room, Zu stood on the back of Daniel's chair and chuckled evilly.

"I suppose it's pointless telling you to go to your room?" Daniel had asked him.

"Yesssss," Zu responded.

Daniel did his best to convince his audience that Zu was a sentient life form, not a demon, and then discussed the history of exorcism starting with the stupid little war between the temples and the local wise-women in Mesopotamia, which was repeated centuries later in Europe between the Church and local wise-women. It all boiled down to gender politics.

"Sam and Camulus are arguing over a translation," Jack read from Daniel's email. "He's telling her the translation and she's insisting that it won't work. They beamed over this morning and I had to remind them that boundary lines around countries have changed over the centuries, rivers have changed courses, lakes dried up, so they'll need to take into account geographical and political changes in their information. They interrupted the meeting I was already in, and when they left, someone asked me who the man in the kilt and leather armor was. I told them and one of the Roman-Celt historians almost fainted."

"Sounds like Daniel is having fun," Paul commented.

Jack snorted. "Have you seen his emails and letters? Mrs. A spends the entire morning opening mail and categorizing it before giving him anything interesting. Most of it is pompous requests for a translation of something someone is positive means something other than what it says. He's learning to ignore stupid stuff and respond only to legitimate requests or things pertaining to our work."

The house phone rang and Jack picked it up.

"O'Neill. Hi, honey." Jack listened to Megan for a while, making noises as she talked. "Alright. I'll be in Chicago this weekend, so why don't I swing by at some point and I will talk with him, ok? Love you. Bye."

Jack groaned and rubbed his face. "Major, get me a temporary child custody packet for Minnesota, will you? It seems my older nephew is acting out and is making his mother crazy. She thinks he's on drugs or something. I may need to bring him here for a while."

"Yes, sir."

"What is it with kids and pot these days?" Jack asked. "I had an excuse, it was the 60s."

"You, sir?" Davis looked up over his laptop.

"Well, I tried it," Jack said. "And yes, I inhaled. Didn't like it. Gave me a headache. And a blistered ass when my father was done with me. But still…."

"Same reason as always, sir," Davis commented on the original question. "The escape factor. And if I may be so bold, your nephew is a teenage boy, his father was court ordered to stay away from the kids on psych reasons which may or may not be hereditary, and his uncle is Han Solo, savior of the universe. Sir."

Jack scowled. "I'm Luke, dammit."

First thing in the morning, Jack and Stacy beamed over to Chicago. Inanna put them down a few feet from Daniel who happened to be directing the set-up in a larger classroom of Stacy's old school. There were thirty kids sitting in a half-circle of three rows, kids specially chosen after a school-wide contest of who had the best questions for Dr. Jackson. Several screeches were halted in mid-throat when Jack and Stacy appeared.

"Hi, Daddy!" Stacy jumped into Daniel's arms for her hug and kisses.

"Hi, sweetie, did you terrorize Jack pretty good this week?" he asked. He leaned over her shoulder and pecked at Jack. He'd save the tongue lashing until a more private moment.

"Yup," she nodded with a grin. "And I helped him pick people for HomeSec, and I told President Hayes that Israel and Palestine needed a time-out."

Daniel laughed. "That's my girl," he declared and put a loud smack on her cheek.

Jack snorted. "Your girl is picking up languages faster than a dog gets fleas," he commented as he put a fully loaded laptop on the table next to an LCD projector. It was easier for Davis to load a laptop with the necessary information, than to have Daniel pick up the files from a server and arrange the show himself.

"Nice analogy, Jack," Daniel told him and introduced him to the school principal.

"Father John!" Stacy yelled. She ran across the room to the priest that was coming in. He gave her a delighted hug and held her out, looking at her and declaring how pretty she had grown. Daniel introduced Jack to the Father.

The children bit back a startled screech again when Sam appeared. They had been sitting almost silent, wide-eyed at the famous people popping in not a few feet in front of them, and the girl they used to tease was among them. She had lost weight, her face was clear, and her glasses were cool instead of cheep. And even they could see the resemblance between her and Dr. Jackson, now that Daniel had let his hair grow out a little. Stacy had the same brown hair and blue eyes, her dimples showed more regularly than they had when she lived with fosters, and her face had begun to clear after she went to live with her father. After listening to what she ate regularly back in her foster home, Jack did an experiment; when her face was looking clear, he gave her things she used to eat all the time. By trial and error, he discovered she had a slight allergy to peanut butter. No peanut butter, clear skin; peanut butter, outbreak.

"No Camy?" Jack asked, giving Sam a hug and kiss. They had called Baal back and told him they had decided to keep Camulus, Baal was free to do with Enlil as he pleased. Baal wasn't happy.

"No, he's deep in the bowels of theoretical desert engineering," she told him. She kissed Daniel and Stacy.

"Theoretical desert engineering?" Jack questioned.

"Do you really want an explanation?" she asked. Jack quickly shook his head.

"This is why delegating authority is a good thing," he said.

When he was ready, Daniel sat on the edge of the desk and talked with the kids about what they were going to do. Jack and Sam sat out of the way next to Father John, the principal and a few teachers, and watched the kid-wizard take over. Stacy took a seat with the kids after Daniel made her promise not to show off. A cameraman from the military recorded the day; Daniel told him to just keep it going, they could edit later. Kids were a tricky bunch, and he didn't want them getting antsy with stopping and starting and retakes.

Daniel had special guests planned. At various intervals, he brought in Teal'c and Rya'c, Enki and Inanna, M'Net and T'Keet, and then Jack and Sam. The children had fun playing with the cub, and M'Net was patient about letting the kids come up and touch him, just please don't pull on tails. Father John held a napping T'Keet and murmured about the wonder of God's will. Stacy did show off a little, calling Enki Grandfather and trying out her Sumerian at his encouragement. Sam told the kids about the various types of ships and a few of the weapons, appealing to their imaginations. She showed footage of a mothership landing on a pyramid, and how big both the pyramid and the ship were by pointing out the people on the ground. The kids were properly impressed.

The kids wanted to know how they could fight alien bad guys when they grew up, and Jack pushed for good grades, good manners, and good health, while stressing how bad drugs and alcohol were. Teal'c growled that none of HIS warriors put bad things in their bodies and ALL his warriors exercised and ate only GOOD foods. He was flexing muscles as he spoke. He was a little scary to the kids, but Stacy crooked a finger at him and he bent down. She planted a sweet kiss on his cheek and he beamed at her.

"Big softy," Jack whispered to him. T'Keet was hanging upside down from Jack's arm, so his poke at Teal'c didn't go very far.

"J'c, ap'l," she demanded, climbing up and putting her nose to his. Her whiskers tickled his cheeks.

"I don't have an apple," he told her. Daniel was prepared, and tossed an apple to Jack. T'Keet lay back in the crook of Jack's arm, happily munching. Apples had become her favorite food. She wasn't too keen on meats, but she loved vegetables and fruits. The humans suspected it was the crunch and sweetness. She liked her foods raw.

The kids weren't convinced she wasn't an animal until she tried talking to them. Sua had a hard time with certain sounds because of the shape of their jaw and tongue, but she was making herself understood.

After the taping and the kids had gotten their fill of clamoring around the alien people, Principal Woodard and Stacy's teacher, Mrs. Gonzalez, commented privately to Daniel that they couldn't believe the changes in Stacy. Overlooking the physical changes, she had never displayed such intellectual knowledge and confidence when she was with them.

"She was mentally bored and emotionally abused," Daniel told them. "We keep her mind busy and love her. All kids have this potential but most won't reach it if you insist on treating them like cattle. Treat them as individuals, show them the respect you want them to show you. "Do unto others" includes the children."

"The schools are over crowded and we don't have enough teachers for individual attention," Woodard told him, scowling in reprimand.

"Bullshit," Daniel informed him. "Change your curriculum and your teaching methods. I know what Stacy's being taught in her new school, and most of it's crap. How is the history of tariffs and the Boston Tea Party going to teach her to run a business or whatever else she wants to do? We've been teaching her real life lessons. She sits with us when we do monthly bills and budgets. I teach part-time at college, sometimes she meets me there after school and she participates in class. Jack is working out of the house at the moment, and she's been learning about politics and world affairs by listening to real life situations and giving her opinion. Do your kids sit and watch the news with you? Do you discuss world affairs and respect the opinions of your kids without forcing yours down their throats? Tariffs and Tea Parties can wait; teach them something that is going to hold meaning for them now, and they can expound on the information later."

Stacy walked past them, skipping from Sumerian to Goa'uld to English as she spoke with Inanna and Rya'c. She managed a few words in Sua to the cub in her arms.

"She's been with us, what? Almost three months? They have flexible minds, if you listen," Daniel commented to the two with him.

Jack beamed over to the O'Neill's while the others went home. Megan and the kids had moved into a smaller house, in an older neighborhood not far from Mom and Dad's; it was impossible to keep up the house payments on the large home they had lived in with Andrew.

The kids were out and about when Jack came in. He gave Megan a hug and sat, listening to her.

"You know you need to calm down," he told her when she was talked out. "If you don't, you'll hurt the baby. The folks are not up to raising another son, so do you want me to take Matthew with me for a while?"

Megan was shredding the tissue she held. "I don't know," she said. "What if the change makes him worse? I don't want him to think I'm giving up on him."

"Of course you're not giving up on him, he's your son and you love him. Let me talk with him first; maybe it's an easy fix."

Megan called Matthew home and Jack took the boy out for a guy's night. Matthew insisted nothing was wrong.

"Matty, I'm not stupid," Jack told him. "I can smell the pot on your jacket and your eyes are dilated. I smoked it when I was a teenager, I won't lie to you, ask your grandparents. The pot made me feel worse, though, not better, and it did nothing to make the problems go away. Talking about the problems and working on them made them go away. Tell me what's been on your mind, maybe I can help."

After a while, Matthew said he didn't know what was wrong, he just felt like he was going to explode sometimes. He couldn't do anything right, Mom yelled at him, his teachers yelled at him, he was failing classes one month into the school year, and whenever he found the guts to ask a girl out, his face broke out. He wanted to get a job but Mom wouldn't let him, Mom cleaned his room and found a magazine he wasn't supposed to have and he got grounded for it, Katie was getting perfect grades, David was a momma's boy, and someone beat him up for lying about Jack being his uncle.

Jack owed Major Davis an ice cream cone.

When Matthew fell silent, Jack said, "We have house rules, including no drugs, and I will have you tested whenever I feel like it. You will go to school, you will ask for help with homework, you will do chores, you may go out with new friends but you will be home at curfew, 9 on a school night, 10 on weekends; I don't hit for punishment, but there will be consequences for disobedience. You will offer the same respects to Sam and Daniel that you will to me, and we are all available for talking and hugs. Do you want to come home with me for a while?" Jack asked.

Matthew nodded and they went back to the house. He sent Matthew up to pack and sat down with Megan.

"He's trying to figure out how to be a man," he told her. "He can't do that if his mother is continually treating him like a boy. That isn't a slap, Megs, you're being a mother, that's all. Stop cleaning his room for him, don't punish him for magazines. He's a normal, healthy kid; it's his business, let him do whatever he needs to do. His bedroom is his sanctuary, stop invading it. He isn't Katie, and as Sam has told me over and over, boys are a little behind girls in development. Let go on David a little, he needs to get into a few scrapes or he won't be prepared for life. Matty is stressed. I'll take him home with us for a while, get him straightened out. He needs some space, that's all, he's had one hell of a year he's trying to deal with and mutant hormones aren't helping his situation."

Katie and David came home from the movie they had gone to and were surprised to see Uncle Jack in the livingroom. Katie excitedly told him that she had joined ROTC and Jack lifted her for a hard hug. Davy proudly informed him that he hadn't had an outbreak from anything for a month and he ate a regular cracker in school.

"See? It'll be fine," Jack told Megan, giving her cheek a pat.

Sam had the week off and Camulus was sent to the ship with the materials they had been trying to figure out. He was fascinated by the piece of melted red glass from Sua that Sam had shown him. Sam was usually upstairs in her home lab, if anyone needed her, and she had to be reminded to eat and sleep. Jack got Matthew enrolled in school and took him in for a pee-test. Of course the pot showed up, but Jack had a starting point with which to monitor his nephew. He took Matthew to a practice room in town that off-duty personnel used for training and work-outs. The men and women who were currently training all came to a sudden stop when Jack unexpectedly walked in. He waved them down and got Matthew signed up for training. He wasn't military, but the General was requesting it and it wasn't the first time someone's troubled kid was signed up.

While Matthew watched the people practice a strange hand-to-hand technique he had never seen before, Jack privately ordered that he be contacted if his nephew showed any signs of drug use or anything else Jack should be notified about. Give Matthew the works, don't hold back on Jack's account. Major Bryce, a Jaffa approved Marine, acknowledged the order.

"Jack!" he heard as he exited the office. He turned to the floor.

"Dean, getting your ass beat?" Harper was dripping with sweat from his workout.

The others all laughed. SG-3 could do a little personal teasing with SG-1, but the others didn't dare attempt it, especially not with the general.

"Well, maybe, sir, but if you'll pardon my sayin' so, you're looking a little in need of a beating, yourself." He pointed to the floor in front of him as the others took a step out of firing range.

"I'm old, Dean," Jack complained with a pained look and rubbed his belly. "Stomach acid acting up, a little constipated…."

"Waaa, sir."

Jack chuckled, tossed his jacket to the floor, and kicked his shoes off. No shoes on the dojo floor. Someone tossed him a practice staff and he met Harper in the middle of the room as the others formed a circle around them and called out taunts and cheers.

Jack was thrown to the floor; he was definitely out of practice. He hopped up and danced with Harper, a few quick turns and staff slaps. The men took each other from one end of the room to the other, staffs flying, neither of them pulling hits. Jack was thrown to the floor again and he stayed there, laughing through the pain.

"Ok, ok," he called out amidst laugher and cheers. "I admit I'm out of practice. I will throw myself on Teal'c's mercy, happy now?"

"Thrilled, sir," Harper told him, taking a few deep breathes of his own. He pulled Jack to his feet and they clasped forearms. Jack lifted his shirt to dab at the blood on his mouth as he chuckled wearily.

"Uncle Jack, they'll kill me in there," Matthew said as they left the parking lot.

"No, they won't," he said. "That's Jaffa style fighting, and the Jaffa kids start a lot younger than you. They'll start you at the beginning, you'll be fine. It'll be a good way to dump those explosions you're feeling, and it'll teach you how to focus. You'll go Monday, Wednesday, and Friday after school. If you feel the need to come in other times, that's fine, just let us know where you are."

"I feel like I'm being punished," Matthew complained.

"This isn't punishment, Matty," Jack said, giving the boy's knee a pat. "Your body is freaking out and you need to learn how to control it instead of it controlling you."

Matthew got settled into the household routines and quickly learned that the adults weren't going to play kid games: if one adult told him something, the others would back it up. He discovered that it wasn't Jack who made most of the rules in the house, it was Sam, and Daniel may be a little more even tempered that Jack or Sam, but he stood his ground and couldn't be pushed around. Matthew was a little iffy about seeing Uncle Jack kissing a man; the women of the house didn't care, neither did Major Davis or the SF who always seemed to be nearby, so it became a normal event that no longer fazed him after a couple days. He also became used to seeing people pop in and out of nowhere, a talking bird which made Uncle Jack crazy, and an alien cub that was fun to play with. He wasn't sure how to deal with Teal'c; the warrior didn't seem to have a sense of humor and didn't talk much. Matthew did get snapped at a couple times by both Uncle Jack and Sam when he went into the study without permission; everyone had private space, and he had to respect it.

Nate walked into the house just after dinner a few nights later. He cornered Jack in the kitchen and took a plate out of Jack's hands.

"You won't like this, but I really need it," Nate told him. He put his arms around Jack and buried his face in Jack's shoulder. After a hesitant moment, Jack accepted it. Sam ushered the kids out of the room and left Jack and Daniel to deal with him. When Nate was ready, they took him down to the Grotto, out of the range of ears, and shut the door. Nate fell onto the couch Daniel kept in there.

"Is this good or bad?" Jack asked.

"Good, I think," Nate said a little husky. "It was rough, guys. I didn't even think I could kiss him; just do it, you know? He kissed me, though, and it was a little weird, him a guy and all, but I started to relax. He's a good kisser and there really wasn't a difference. Between kissing him and kissing a girl, I mean. I freaked when he started wandering lower. He stayed calm and talked me down. He made me take the lead, my pace. It was seriously weird touching him but he told me to touch him the way I liked to be touched and then he would touch me that way. I felt like a fucking virgin, guys, and Jack knows how long ago THAT was."

"Hey!"

"He was 15, Daniel, with cousin Gloria. Several times removed cousin. She was 22, Danny, 22 to his 15. So Paul went down on me, eventually, and oh, my God, I don't think I've ever been blown like that. Relaxed me so much, we finally got down to business. I screamed at a few demons but we did it. A couple times. I wanted to be able to actually enjoy it before calling it quits. So, ok, I'm good with this and I haven't had a nightmare yet."

Daniel sat on the floor next to the couch. Jack was trying not to jump out of the room, he really didn't need to hear the summary report.

"Yeah, I did," Nate was saying softly. "It was major weird, but not bad. Saltier than I expected. Damn near unhinged my jaw. I didn't realize how much effort it took for someone to do until I tried it. No, don't give me pointers," he laughed when Daniel started to give instructions. "I don't have plans on being in that position again but I will be more compassionate with others in that position."

Jack was feeling a little weird himself, knowing he'd be looking Davis in the eye the following day. After Nate left, Daniel called Paul. He was out of the house a minute later, walking down the street. The door was propped open and Daniel walked in. Nick wasn't home, Paul told Daniel that he didn't ask questions when Nick snuck out of the house.

"Nate just came over and spilled his guts," Daniel told him. Paul handed him an iced tea.

"Is he ok?" Paul asked.

"Yeah, he sounded it. What's your take on him?"

Paul sat back, thinking. "Well, he was as jumpy as a long-tailed cat in a rocking chair factory, as my grandmother used to say, but we took it slow and when he left in the morning, he seemed a lot more relaxed."

"Yeah, apparently you give the best blow job he's ever had," Daniel commented with a glint in his eyes. Davis laughed.

"He got that detailed, did he? God, Daniel, it was so surreal, sex with him. Every time he spoke, I panicked, thinking Jack walked into the room." He leaned toward Daniel. "Does he have a mole under his….?"

Daniel laughed and nodded. "The Asgard were that thorough, huh?"

"I think I do know of a physical difference between them, though," Paul said. "I've showered with you guys after a couple times after missions, remember? Nate isn't cut."

Daniel sat back. "Really? Yeah, I can see that the Asgard wouldn't have noticed that detail, it isn't a genetic one. Wow. That's interesting."

The men compared notes on their O'Neills, and Daniel returned home. He checked in on Stacy, kissed her, and got ready for bed. He sat next to Jack and reached into Jack's pajama bottoms, pulled his penis out, and attempted to stretch a little bit of loose skin over the head.

"What are you doing?" Jack asked, looking down.

"Nate isn't cut, so I was curious…."

Jack smacked his hands away as Sam snickered. "Did a little comparison shopping, did you?"

"No, I already bought my present, but it doesn't hurt to see what the other guy has."

"I'm a present?"

Daniel peeked into the pajama bottoms again. "Yup, I'd say so," he commented. He cupped genitals, giving a caressing squeeze as he kissed Jack. "I love you, chill," he told Jack and moved away.

"Hey," Jack snapped. He pulled his t-shirt up. "A little attention would be nice," he said, pointing.

"Attention?" Daniel cooed as he sat back down. "Attention where?"

"I got a owie," Jack informed him, touching a small, half-healed scrape on his chest.

"Poor baby," Daniel said. He kissed the owie. "How did you get the owie?"

"Major Harper beat me up the other day," Jack whined.

"He did? Do I need to speak with Major Harper's mommy? Or should I just beat him up for you?"

"Beat him up. He's a bully."

Sam shook her head at them and went back to her reports.

Daniel continued to kiss more owies across Jack's chest, wherever Jack pointed whether or not Daniel could see an owie. Jack kept going back to nipples, insisting that they were feeling funny. Daniel gave a long suck and declared that, nope, they felt normal to him. Jack said there must be something wrong because whenever Daniel did that, more strange feelings were happening further down. Daniel took a look and said that, yes, something was happening. Maybe he should get an ice pack for the swelling. Jack told him a few kisses should work just fine, so Daniel gave it a try. The swelling finally popped and Daniel cleaned up the mess with his tongue. Jack thanked him sweetly for fixing the problem and knew Daniel could do it because Daniel was so smart.

Sam threw a pillow at them.

The next day, Jack had a call from Landry. Malek wanted to talk with Jack.

"Sure, send them over. I'll make lunch. You're invited, too, Hank."

Jack had avoided looking at Davis all morning. Paul finally stopped what he was doing and stared at Jack. Jack tossed his pen down.

"Will you stop that?" he insisted. "I'm dealing with it, I just don't want to talk about it."

"Yes, sir."

It was wigging Jack out, actually, knowing that the Major knew his body inside and out having had sex with his clone. He knew how Jack tasted. Jack dealt with the creep factor by jumping up and heading off to the kitchen to get lunch supplies together. Daniel had told him to think about it another way –both men had sex with Daniel, so there was no reason they couldn't sit down together and compare notes about him. Jack was still feeling a little incestuous.

General Landry arrived with Col. Reynolds, Malek and a female Tok'ra Jack didn't know. Sora hosting Akava. The Tok'ra looked around curiously at the Tau'ri home, taking note of the large library and all the family pictures adorning the walls and fireplace mantle.

"We are told your planet is now aware of our existence," Malek commented.

"Yes, thanks to Enlil," Jack said. "Probably did us a favor, in the long run; no more tiptoeing around. We're getting things done much faster." He turned to Davis. "Why did we decide not to ask for a few crystals?"

"Because of all the underground cables and pipes," Davis reminded him.

"Oh, right. Never mind. So. What brings you kids to our fair planet?"

Jack set a large bowl of chicken caesar on the table, plates and silverware, drinks, and invited people to help themselves. The Tok'ra waited and watched; Davis was careful in his movements, showing them by example.

"Our operatives inform us that you have Camulus on your planet," Akava said. "We are also told that Baal is quite upset that you won't turn him over."

"Actually, he's in orbit, not on the planet," Jack told her. "And we're aware of Baal's attitude. Let's not talk about unpleasant things during lunch, shall we?" They agreed to eat first and discuss only trivial events and the state of affairs.

"We are curious to know why you are keeping Camulus," Malek asked after lunch and adjourning to the livingroom. Jack was curious about polite Tok'ra.

"We're not, the Anunnaki are," Jack said. "Seems they find him interesting. Tell me something; you guys have spent thousands of years trying to free yourselves from Goa'uld enslavement. It isn't the hosts that are enslaving you, it's the symbiotes, so why not kill the symbiotes? And why is it ok to be host to one kind of symbiote and not another?"

"Because we deserve the right to live, too," Akava said. "We are Tok'ra, not Goa'uld. We are not forcing anyone to host us, we would die before allowing that to happen. My host volunteered, she wasn't forced, and if she decides she wishes to be alone again, I will respect her wishes and, preferably, transfer to another host."

"Why can't you go back to your ponds?" Jack asked.

"That would be like asking you to return to your trees," Malek said.

"Hey, your trees, too, buddy," Jack said. "You're human, too, your ancestors started here."

"Are you inviting us home, general?" Malek asked with a small smile.

"You are welcome to lunch," Jack said magnanimously.

"And you are avoiding the question," Malek responded. "Camulus?"

"I'm not avoiding you," Jack said. "I thought I answered you; the Anunnaki have him, not us. Why are you asking?"

"He is a Goa'uld, shouldn't that be enough?" Malek asked.

"No," Jack said. "According to him, his symbiote is not of the same line as, say, Baal's. If it's ok for you to be hosted, why not Camulus, providing he plays nice? You guys don't always play nice, but we let you live."

Malek and Akava looked at each other. "Are you sure he is of a separate line?" Malek asked.

"Ereshkigal says he's telling the truth."

Jack saw something flicker across their faces. He glanced at Reynolds; he saw it, too.

"What?" Jack asked them. They were silent. "Malek, we are having enough crap with that idiot Gerek on Dakkara, don't you start with me, too."

"Whether or not Camulus is of a different queen, you are still trusting him," Malek commented.

"You are of a different queen, why should we trust you?" Jack questioned. "That isn't your problem, so what is?"

"We have heard rumors," Sora came out to respond. "A few other System Lords are claiming they, also, are of a different queen. Zimrah. She is long dead but a few of her children are said to survive. She was like our queen, Aegiria, not like Mirin, the queen of Baal and most of the other System Lords. They say the children of Zimrah are setting Jaffa free and are behind a few of the assassinations of System Lords. I know that Tok'ra, nor Jaffa rebels are behind them."

"Wait a minute," Jack said, leaning forward to hold up a hand. "Are you saying there's a Fifth Column among the System Lords?"

"Maybe," Malek admitted. Jack hit his comm, staring in disbelief at his guests.

"Inanna, can I see Camulus front and center, please? If you can spare him?"

The Goa'uld was standing in front of Jack a few minutes later. He took a step back at the sight of the Tok'ra.

"Calm down, Camy," Jack told him. "I need information. What's the name of your queen?"

Camulus was blank for a moment. "My original queen? Why?"

"Because I want to send a Mother's Day card. Come on, just answer."

"Alright," Camulus slowly nodded. "Zimrah. The information, though, is…."

"How many siblings do you have still around?"

Camulus shrugged. "I'm not sure," he said.

"Who is rumored to be from Zimrah?" Jack asked the Tok'ra.

"Athena, Orion, Bastet, Kali, Mananon, Morrigan, Apollo…." Malek looked at Akava as he thought. "And….Taranus. That we've heard of."

"Cam?" Jack looked at him.

"It is possible," he admitted after thinking about it.

"Alright, I need to think about this," Jack said. "It would be really nice if the Tok'ra sat on this information," he told them. "I'm feeling a song coming on, and I'd like to work on it."

Jack sent everyone back home and called Daniel who was at the base with his head stuck in some ancient book found on P3X-747, which was running out of steam on airplane jokes.

"Really?" Daniel asked after Jack recited the list of names, with Davis' input from the background. Jack could hear wheels turning.

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, if we include Camulus, almost all of them are European," Daniel said. "Only Bastet and Kali are not, and when I saw them at the summit meeting a few years ago, they looked pretty chummy, unlike the other System Lords. Bastet is Egyptian, Kali is Hindu."

"Daniel, how can we find out if they can be turned from the dark side and how can we trust them, if they say they can?"

Daniel had to translate. "I don't know, Jack, let me think about it."

Cassandra brought Stacy home and Jack took Cass aside for a private talk. She turned weepy and didn't know what to say. Jack just held her and told her she didn't have to say anything.

Daniel stopped at the gym to pick up Matthew. The young man was soaked with sweat from his workout but Major Bryce said he was doing well.

"Dean," Daniel greeted Harper. They shook hands. "Dean, you beat up my boyfriend," Daniel informed the Major.

"And?" Harper taunted him with a grin. Daniel kicked his shoes off.

When they got home, Jack looked at the cut on Daniel's lip.

"What'd you do?" he asked, handing Daniel a damp cloth.

"He pounded the crap out of Major Harper," Matthew gleefully informed him.

"He did?" Jack smiled and ruffled Daniel's hair. "What a good boy."