Chapter 2

A/N: I'm so happy to see everyone's excitement for this sequel! You guys are awesome! Just so you don't get confused, the sequel actually picks up a little bit before the epilogue of Saving Roza. There are some things I wanted to tell in Rose's POV that made more sense to put at the beginning of this story rather than at the end of the other one. We're back to Dimitri in this chapter though. He hasn't left for Russia yet, but he'll be on his way soon. Please read and review!

An additional note: (I know, I know, I'm rambling… sorry…) My apologies if I don't get this story updated as often as I usually did with Saving Roza. Life has been a little crazy. My closest friend (our friendship reminds me of Lissa and Rose's) is currently hospitalized for chronic illness and it's been difficult for me. Also, I have work and my summer chemistry lecture/lab starts in a week (oh boy!) so I'm going to be pretty busy for the next month or so! But I promise I'll keep working on the story. It just might take me a little longer than usual. Thanks for your patience, guys!

[DIMITRI]

I've never been certain whether or not I believed in fate, but lately it felt like my life was someone's cruel joke. Rose was a dhampir again, yet ironically enough, she wanted nothing to do with me. For leaving my assignment to hunt her down when she'd been a Strigoi, I had lost my career. I guess the silver lining was that I wasn't in jail. I had Adrian to thank for getting the charges dropped. Hell, I had Adrian to thank for even being alive—not that I was entirely sure I was thankful for that right at the moment.

Life without Roza was a slow and agonizing death—like I was drowning, and the surface of the water was right above my reach, but I just couldn't break through it. Meanwhile my lungs were filling with water and my muscles were slowly giving up their will to keep fighting. Every time I saw her—alive again, and yet unwilling to accept my love and unwilling to love me back—another piece of my soul died. In my life, I had known plenty of pain. But nothing had ever hurt as badly as this.

I had to give Adrian and Lissa credit. They had helped me a lot. Adrian had convinced Queen Tatiana to get me released from jail. With Lissa's help, she had even agreed to allow me to live at the court. Eventually, I had the potential of getting some type of office job. It was a gracious offer, considering what I had done. It is worth mentioning, that I have always found Queen Tatiana to be a fair leader. But the news that a Strigoi had allegedly been turned back into a dhampir using spirit spread through the Moroi world like wildfire, and gradually, so did the details of the event. And since I had technically abandoned the Dragomir princess, the public didn't have a high opinion of me. Neither did a lot of my colleagues.

This was precisely why I spent the majority of my time in my small apartment in court housing. I lived in the area where a lot of lower level staff lived, such as cleaning staff and groundskeepers. It suited me just fine. I went unnoticed most of the time, which is what I preferred. Lissa, however, made a point of visiting me nearly every day.

Lissa had been staying at the court ever since the attack. She had been granted special privileges by the queen to take a little time to relax and recover before going back to St. Vladimir's. Of course it helped that Lissa, ever the diligent academic, had already gotten completely caught up with all of her school assignments. Christian, however, had not been granted the same permission. He'd been able to stay for a few days, but had just recently been sent back to the academy. Lissa was torn, because she didn't want to leave Rose knowing the state she was in. However, she also desperately missed Christian. Her time at the court was running out anyway. Soon she would have to return to school so that she'd be able to graduate.

Her visits with me were all similar. She'd tell me how she just couldn't understand Rose's behavior, but she was sure that if we gave her a little more time, she'd come around. I wished I shared in her optimism, but I couldn't bring myself to get my hopes up. I knew how stubborn Rose could be. She wasn't going to cave easily—especially not after everything she'd been through.

"Maybe you should try visiting her again, Dimitri," Lissa suggested to me one afternoon while she was sitting on my sofa. I had already tried to see Rose twice, and all she'd done was scream at me until I was forced by guardians to leave.

"I don't think it will make any difference, Lissa," I replied, sadly.

"You never know," she answered brightly. "It could. I think she just needs a little time to readjust. I go and see her every day. Sometimes she'll let me sit with her. But she still won't say anything."

"Maybe I just don't belong in her life anymore," I said.

"Dimitri, don't think that," Lissa scolded. "Rose loves you. I'm sure of it."

"You didn't even know it before she was a Strigoi and you're her best friend," I pointed out. "Maybe she never did love me as much as I thought she did." Even as I spoke those words, I knew in my heart they weren't true. But I was frustrated.

"I just want both of you to be happy." Lissa sighed deeply. "And Queen Tatiana is only letting me stay until Wednesday. That's the absolute latest. Then she insists that I have to go back to school."

"Is Adrian going too?" I asked. Adrian had also been hanging around the court. But since he wasn't technically a student at St. Vladimir's, it was hard to tell what he would do.

"I think he is," said Lissa. "But I'm not completely sure. He's been acting a little different lately. Have you noticed?" I hadn't. The actions of Adrian Ivashkov weren't exactly high on my priority list.

"Not really," I replied. "What's been going on?"

"I'm not entirely sure," answered Lissa. "He seems a little distant, like he's caught up on something. I'm just not sure what it is. And he's been having trouble with spirit. But I think he's been drinking more than usual."

"Well, that's not good. Do you think it could be because of Rose?" I asked.

"I thought that too, at first. But I think it's something different. He was really drunk the other day and he was going off on some rant about how lilies were better flowers than roses. Maybe it was nothing. Who knows?" I shrugged.

"It's hard to tell with him." Lissa nodded in agreement.

"Lissa, I want to tell you something." I needed to get it off my chest.

"What is it?"

"I think I'm leaving the court."

"Are you coming back to St. Vladimir's?" she asked. There was a hint of excitement in her voice and I felt a pang of guilt. I knew how badly she wished that Rose and I could be her guardians.

"I don't think they'd allow me to come back to St. Vladimir's," I said, forcing a smile that I knew looked hollow. "No, Lissa, I am going to go home. To Russia."

"What?" Lissa's shrill voice cut through the air. She paused for a moment. "No. Dimitri, you can't. I have to leave Rose. You can't leave her too!"

"Lissa, she doesn't want me here. At least not right now. I think maybe some space would be the best thing for her. I haven't been home to see my family in a really long time. Besides, there's not much left for me here. I can't be a guardian anymore, and my reputation is not exactly great. And who knows, I might come back someday." That was a blatant lie. I had no intention of ever coming back. When I left, I never wanted to have to see Rose's face again. It was too painful. Lissa's face twisted in a frown.

"I hate to see you go. Maybe things will eventually get better. You can't give up, Dimitri." She really was the most optimistic person I knew.

"I'm not giving up," I said, keeping my expression blank. More lies. "I'm just moving on. It wouldn't be smart for me to stick around here dwelling on the past."

"Well, will you please just go see her one more time before you go?" Lissa asked. I could see the desperation in her eyes. Plus, I couldn't imagine leaving Rose forever without seeing her one last time.

"Okay, I will," I agreed finally.

"When are you leaving?" Lissa asked. I honestly had no idea yet.

"I'm leaving Wednesday, too," I lied. If I could get a flight that day, I would leave then. Since it was only Saturday, that gave me a few days.

"Okay. Just please, see her first."

"I will," I agreed. After Lissa left, I booked a flight for Wednesday evening. Despite the generosity of the few friends I had left, I couldn't stay and put myself through the pain. I had to get away from it all, once and for all. And what better place to do that than on the other side of the world?

In keeping my promise to Lissa, I decided to see Rose on Monday. As I walked to the cell where they were holding her, the weight of my decision fell on me. This would really, truly be goodbye. This was the very last time I would ever set eyes on Rosemarie Hathway, the love of my life. I drew in a deep breath and entered the building that housed her cell.

I told the guardians on duty that I was there to see Rose, and they allowed me through. Outside of her cell, I stood and watched her. She faced the opposite direction, so all I could see was the back of her head. Her gorgeous brown hair was tied up, making her molnija marks visible. Oh, Roza, why can't you remember what side of this fight you're really on? I thought desperately.

"I know you're there." When she spoke, it startled me.

"Roza, I just wanted to—"

"Don't talk to me." Her tone was harsh, but she didn't raise her voice.

"Okay, I won't talk." I agreed. I continued standing there, outside her cell, in silence. After a moment, she spoke again.

"Why won't you just go away?"

"Because I wanted to see you." When she turned to face me, her expression was cold.

"There. You see me. Now go."

"I can't." I replied. I couldn't. Staring into her face, I couldn't imagine never seeing her again. She glared at me for a moment longer. I studied her features, trying to memorize every detail; the depth of her brown eyes, the glow of her milky almond skin, the way her eyebrows crinkled when she was irritated—like right now, the fullness of her soft, red lips, the shape of her tiny nose, and the way there always seemed to be a stray strand of hair that would come loose from her ponytail and fall into her eyes. Even angry and locked up in a jail cell, she was easily the most beautiful sight I'd ever laid eyes on. I hated seeing her this way. But I also knew that nothing would change until she decided to change. And that didn't seem to be happening.

"I hate you!" she spat at me, when she realized I was just going to continue to stare at her. I hid the pain from my face, but those words cut me like a thousand knives. I just stared at her, silently. "I hate you, Dimitri Belikov. I don't want to see you again. Ever." Swallowing, I looked into those eyes one last time, committing them to memory.

"Well, that's good Roza. Because you won't have to." I got the words out before my voice cracked. And without getting a good look at her face, I turned abruptly and left.

I held in the tears until I got back to my apartment. Then, they fell and fell.