I awoke at the crack of dawn and pulled off the heavy covers. I looked around for a moment then saw Dex's mint eyes gazing at me amused.
"Might I ask what you are doing in bed with me, Ms. Nightshade?" His voice was condescending and drenched with disapproval, but the smile playing at the corners of his mouth proved otherwise.
"I...had a nightmare...And," I stammered giving a bashful smile.
"Is that so?"He asked.
I nodded.
"Alright. Will you go now?" He asked giving in to the smile that had been slowly pulling up the corners of his mouth.
"Oh alright," I answered in a hurt voice. I slid down from the bed.
"Goodness, Camilla, you are such a predator! Sneaking in here taking advantage of my slumber! I feel violated," he said dramatically.
I laughed and left the room.
"My, my, Annabelle," Undertaker said.
"You know, I thought you'd gone back to your home."
"And miss such a scandalous act of indecency?"
"It wasn't like that."
"Oh I know. It's just easier to pretend your mother wasn't her, as opposed to worrying about you."
I frowned,"Undertaker don't worry yourself about me."
"How can I not worry about you?"
"You can try minding your own business, old man," I teased.
"You are my business," Undertaker took a piece of my hair and twirled it between his fingers.
I scoffed and flipped my hair, "For a man who won't marry me you're awfully interested in just about everything I do," I teased walking towards my room.
"I never said I wouldn't," he laughed.
"Ah, well it is too late. Plus mother wouldn't approve of my wedding a necrophillic coroner."
"Does mother approve of Dex?"
"Undoubtedly, as she should. He's handsome, strong, able minded, and most of all," I turned to look at undertaker,"young."
I then entered my room and closed the door before he could enter too.
"I thought I was timeless," I heard him say with a cackle.
I changed in to first an old button up of my father's then a very beautiful lilac dress that father bought for me when I was sixteen. It was made for spring weather, and to show of a nice pair of shoes. I suppose the thing really isn't a dress, it's more of a slim skirt with pretty ruffles starting at the knee to just above my ankles. At the top was an underbust corset with straps that I put my arm in. I made sure my shirt was tucked in without any problems, then put on pantyhose and pretty soft purple and white shoes. After a look in the mirror I realized I didn't want to leave hair down. I put it up in two ponytails, then hurried down to the kitchen to help Melia prepare the unusually large breakfast for this morning.
"Good mornin' lass," Melia called as I came in to the kitchen.
"Good morning, Melia. What can I do?" I asked while I tied on an apron.
"Aye, I need ya to skin the salmon 'n make a vinaigrette."
"Aye aye captain," I said then got to work.
I'm sure the storm has passed, which means the other nobles will be leaving today.
"So, 'ow yer day go with Dex?" She asked.
"Swimmingly."
"I bet, with you sneakin' into the lads bedroom and such."
"Cami did what?" Isabelle entered, barefoot holding a bowl of thyme. I suppose her shoes were muddy so she left them outside.
"I saw her sneakin in his room las' nigh', I did."
"Ooo Cami," Isabelle sung.
"It is not as it seems," I said with a smirk. The two ladies are ridiculous,"you both know I am not that kind of woman."
Isabelle sighed,"I would call you a prude if I didn't know better."
Isabelle knows all too well that I am the opposite of that. I rolled my eyes,"Isabelle please be decent."
"Decent? I'm not the one sneaking into men's bedrooms and so what? I mean what does it really matter, it's not like you have any purity to be lost"
"Isabelle," I complained, "I haven't even known him a week."
"She's right, pure o' no she can't be givin' 'im anythin' jus' yet."
"Thank you, Melia" I said looking away from my work.
"Ve, I guess you have a point. What's to keep him from leaving you afterward?" She sighed sadly.
I went to her and kissed her forehead. She looked at me and smiled.
"What are you girls prattling on about,"Tanaka said in an irritated voice.
"Noth-"
"Camilla slept with Lord Reed," Isabelle and Melia blurted. I sighed.
"I hope she didn't give anything away so early in the game. If she did, I might call the lady on the shallow end."
"Shallow end?" Isabelle asked.
"Yes, in the pool of wisdom and knowledge." He said as he collected plates.
"Tanaka,"I complained.
He wore a smirk his eyes closed,"I trust the lady isn't that foolish though," he glanced down at me as he left the kitchen, winking quickly at me, "make him work for it," he said with a laugh
"Mr. Tanaka!" I hit him with a towel before he left out,"I am a lady," I amended laughing slightly.
"Sure," Isabelle laughed and went back out to the garden.
"I believe ya 'n I trust ya aren't that stupid, lass. If I didn' I'd 've dragged you out of the room."
"Well thank you."
"No need. I think of ya like a daugh'er." She answered sadly.
Melia had suffered several miscarriages before her husband died while he and her were here on business. She had no way to get back to Scotland and she had no family to go back to. That's when father found her, she used to work for my father, and after he died she moved here with me. Then she grew sick, and the doctors had to remove her uterus.
"I think I'll name my first born girl after you, Melia." I said smiling.
"Nothin' 'd make me happier, Millie."
Breakfast was quickly and easily prepared. I went back to my room and grabbed my stash of candy. I honestly don't want to be around when the nobles wake up. They were all exhausting and spoiled. I hurried to the library and retrieved father's journals from their place on the window seat. Dex would come looking for me soon enough, but I think Undertaker wants to talk to him, without me. The action fits his personality. I hid in the furthest recesses of the library and read through the journal, starting from the day mother left.
"November 1st
Rosemary is gone...just gone. Perhaps she'll come back, and be with her child and myself. But she left this morning, and its night now. I called for a wet nurse, so Camilla would not go hungry. I don't know if I can go on without her.
November 3rd
I saw her. I could have sworn upon it, but when I called her name she didn't acknowledge it. Maybe she didn't hear...but she always had acute hearing, it was because of what she was."
I couldn't bear reading it anymore. Mother was cruel. However, father should have known better. How could he be so blind as to trust her, to think that she wouldn't leave one day. He was also cruel. What if she had loved him? Mother is immortal, to have her love him, a temporary being, was inexcusable. I suppose mother is lucky to be spared a heart.
Everyone would leave me, Isabelle, Melia, Tanaka, ... Ciel and... Vincent. If I leave before they die, I will have already mourned their loss, so when the inevitable end came it wouldn't hurt too bad, but if I stayed; I could cherish the fleeting moments with them so that when they die I can assure myself that they knew I loved them. Which one is the better choice?
"I thought I would find you here," Dex said and pulled my hair. I forced a smile on to my face. I wish he had stayed in bed, I do not like to be interrupted mid thought. Now I will never finish it...it has already left my mind.
"You're up early," my voice was rather accusatory,"...for a noble," I said softening my voice to a teasing tone.
"It is around this time that I go running, but I guess one day of neglecting that routine won't kill me."
I forced a soft laugh. Mother was right, deception is tiring. Surely I can't keep this up, I'll have to kill the man. I'm usually so patient with mortals, maybe it's because there is a surplus of men in the manor. It is usually very easy to resist feeding but with the smell of men, and they're hearts beating softly as the sleep, it's maddeningly tempting. Thinking about it brought the gluttonous hunger to the fore front of my mind. It was all I could do not to tear the man in front of me apart. The gluttony of my kind is a burden. I am not hungry. Had there been the usual amount of males in the manor, I wouldn't even notice the little greedy bastard in the back of my head.
"Camilla you don't look well," he said sitting beside me.
Pondering my hunger was very imprudent of me. The perfume of his skin surrounded me quickly making resistance even harder.
"I didn't sleep well," I said barely above a whisper.
"Oh yes, the nightmare," he pursed his lips, those delicious, delicate lips. They turned up a bit forming a soft smile. Their gentle curves weaving a tune of chaos and havoc on my self-control,"Would you like to talk about it?" His breath, like honey suckle, brushed over my face. I tore my gaze from him and looked down at the books.
Father would be disappointed. If I can not control myself, I can not be trusted. If I can not be trusted, I am not a suitable human. If I am not human, all that is left is the beast and if the beast is left...there is no telling what I might do. Only a few seconds had passed I turned back and smiled bashfully. I stared past him, not in his eyes. I could not afford for those cool green eyes to trap me.
"I dreamt I met your family," I lied.
"Oh?" He said surprised," and?"
"They all hated me," I looked down pouting a bit and seeming upset.
"It was just a dream, my family wouldn't hate you," he assured with another smile. I trained my gaze on the wall behind him.
"I can't help but to worry."
He looked away from me turning his head a bit as if he were deliberating something.
"Camilla, my brother will be in town next week. As a rule we always have dinner together on the day he comes back. Would you perhaps, go to the dinner. You could meet all of my family at once and get it out of the way."
I smiled widely and nodded,"Alright that sounds splendid," I let my smile falter,"but what if they don't like me?" I questioned.
"They'll love you, just as I do," he kissed my forehead. I cut off my breathing and plastered a bashful smile on my face.
"You are sweet," I giggled once he moved away again.
He sighed,"You know this is the second time you've avoided saying you love me."
"Dex, I...You are not the first man to pledge love. I don't want to lie to you because right now I don't know how I feel. I do know I like you. I like you very much Dex."
"You are a wise woman, I might be put off if you agreed so soon. Four days is hardly enough to be in love, but I suppose you can, however love a person in that time."
"I hope you won't hold it against me."
"Of course not," he smirked,"oh my!" He exclaimed.
I looked up at him, confused,"What?"
"How much candy have you eaten?"
I looked at the bag and narrowed my eyes; Isabelle must have found my candy stash.
"Not nearly enough for this much to be gone." I said scornfully.
He laughed, "I don't understand how one person could even begin to conquer that much candy."
"Well, I like sweet things. Candy is always sweet."
"Yes."
Unlike me candy is always sweet. Always pleasant to the tongue, all the while rotting the teeth. Lucky for me, my teeth are immortal. So maybe the more sweets I eat, the more of their power I'll absorb. Then, I too could be sweet. Sweet like the souls parading around this place, like the true humans in this manor. There are only four.
"So how will this all go down?"I asked averting the turn my mind was taking.
"Hmm, I will come for you on Monday. My family will come later on and I suppose you'll stay for the duration of their visit."
"How long is that, usually?"
"The week, then my brother goes back to the other side of England."
I nodded. If this went well then a proposal is almost guaranteed.
"I will tell Vincent for you," Dex said with a mischevious smile. The expression confused me, but I didn't particularly want to tell Vincent myself so I didn't question it. Vincent has a way of swaying my resolves.
"Thank you." I smiled.
"I suppose I'll tell him then be on my way."
"Aw so soon?" I whined.
He smiled, pleased that I disliked the idea of him leaving,"Yes I have business to attend to this evening."
"Will alright," I stood as he did. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulled him down, and stood on my tippy toes. He closed the distance between us and pressed his soft lips to mine. I let my fingers play in his hair and I pressed my body firmly against his. He held my face just at my jaw line, rubbing his thumb across my cheek bone.
"Bye, for now," I whispered as our lips parted, foreheads still touching. His eyes dilated and his pulse went crazy. I kissed his lips softly once more then let him go.
He left the library as if he were in a daze, running in to more than one table. I laughed to myself, men are very easy to manipulate.
I put back the journals and grabbed a book of lore. I was soon dreadfully aware of all the beating hearts in the manor. It is better that I stay in here.
After a bit, I sensed the people leaving. My body relaxed and I continued reading of the carnage of other predators. The description of mutilated bodies and sacrifices calmed my ever going mind. Honestly, some of these stories are pure genius. The wendingo taking hunters and dragging them off in to lair to feed on them slowly. Or so called genies that grant its victim's innermost desire by playing illusions in their mind while it bleeds them dry.
I heard rushed footsteps coming towards the library. I sighed, knowing exactly how it is.
"Camilla!" Vincent called.
I can sense his anger, which is most tiring,"Yes, my Lord," I called back.
He came from an aisle of books and walked until he was right in front of me. I can feel his stare as it bored into the side of my face.
"Can I help you, master?" I said in a sweet voice.
"How far are you going with this?"
"I apologize but what do you mean, master?"I said innocently.
"Oh stop it. You know what I mean," he said in a calm yet furious voice.
"If you say so," I played dumb. Of course I know exactly what he's speaking of.
"This dinner with Lord Reed and his family."
"I want to know the people Vince," I said feigning a pleading tone.
"This is how you are getting back at me?" He asked bending so his face was inches from the side of my face. I kept my eyes on the book.
"Everything isn't about you all of the time. Sorry to disappoint."
"Camilla, what are you doing?" He hissed at me.
"I am reading." I answered.
"You know what I mean."
"Finding someone who will love me, not use me as you have, Vince."
"Millie don't do this."
"Do I not deserve love?" I asked.
"Millie, you'll ruin him. What you are..."
"Am I a plague now Vincent?" I asked slamming the book shut and looking up at him.
"Millie...come now don't draw conclusions. You are unique and need special care, how will he deal with that."
"He won't have to," I said.
"So you do not plan on telling him?"
"I'm not saying that, but I won't burden him with my problems."
"He's not right for you," Vincent said dismissively.
"Then who is?" I asked with a laugh.
He was silent.
"Vincent I've said it once I'll say it again, I am not going to wait around for someone who is long gone."
"What do I tell Ciel if you leave?"
"Tell him I'll visit as often as you let me."
He glared again crossing his arms,"What about us?"
"What do you mean us?" I said with a laugh,"There is no us. We haven't been 'us' since we were kids. No it's noble and servant."
"Must you victimize yourself," Vince sighed putting a hand on his face.
"I'm tired of being at the end of your priorities while you're at the top of mine. I want someone to love me and take care me. I deserve that much don't I. After I've suffered the flames hell? Don't I deserve to be surrounded by people who want me? What have I done to be so cursed?"
"Millie, you aren't like everyone else," he growled.
"I didn't ask to be this way, it's how I was born! Why am I damned over something I have no control over? If I could change it I would, in a heart beat."
"It is not fair but we have to deal with these injustices."
"We?! What injustice do you deal with?!" I asked standing.
"You are forgetting the responsibilities of a noble."
"Oh shut up you spoiled twit! People would kill to have what you have."
"They would do the same for your position."
"Of course they would. They don't know you, know how you used to be."
"Used to?"
"You used to care. You used to worry whether or not I was feeling okay. How much I missed my father, how much my mother hurt me, everything. Now you only care because you could lose a piece in your games to someone else. Someone who wouldn't play with me at all, who'd cherish and protect me. Someone who wouldn't sell me off to the highest bidder if the situation called for it."
He grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him. He held my face roughly and looked me in the eyes with an icy glare. My whole body trembled in fear. I couldn't speak from the way he held my face.
"Remember when we'd sit in the middle of your father's maze and play with the fish. How I'd look up at you in wonder every time you would let the fish nibble on your finger. Remember after your first kill how you cried. You were maybe thirteen then. I held you until you stopped crying. Then you began entertaining the affections of Leo. I knew he was no good. The moment you had to hide your seeing me I knew. I just didn't have the heart to tell you because you looked so happy. I missed being with you though. I tried telling you...Then we had that argument and I pushed you away. That's when I met Rachel. I wanted to forget about you but you were so damned happy without me! It was infuriating. So I did what I had to to make you notice me again. You were pregnant and everything was going fine. When you lost your child, I couldn't relate to your pain, I still can't, but I felt it every time I looked in to your eyes, and it was unfair to make me feel something so terrible. So, I distanced myself to let you get over it. Then when you all but fell into the manor that terrible night, the first night he hurt you, I realized what I had done. I had left you alone to face him...but if I got any closer he would hurt you even more. I thought about killing him, but you were still in love, swearing that you just fell down the stairs. What was I to do? You were so set on sticking with that idiot and it was so aggravating, how dare you be so stupid? So I went away again until you learned, then it was too late he had already broken you. I couldn't bare the sight of you! You were more than capable of killing him, why did you wait so long?"
"I didn't want to be a monster," I whispered looking into his chilling eyes.
"So you let him be the monster?"
"I..."
"Yes, brilliant! Then your father died and you lived with your aunts until they started beating you too. You are so damn stupid! You are prone to masochism! And now I'm trying to caution you and you are stuck on my supposed wrong doings." He yelled.
"Do you even hear yourself! You consistently left when I needed you must. You also left out the part when you told me to let Leo court me because it was the best hope a girl like me had for marriage! Don't make yourself seem like a saint. Because the times you said you pushed me away is when I became a tool," I said pushing him away,"I helped you get Funtom! How many men did I 'persuade' to build your empire?"
He was silent.
"I'm tired. So tired of taking care of you. I'm tired of drowning and never dying. Either I am saved or I fall in to the dark waters now!"
"Millie, please. You are not leaving," he said with a smirk.
"We'll see."
"I won't let you." He said his eyes hardening.
"Then I'll have to kill you." I glared back.
"Then let the game begin," he let me go and walked away.
My eyes were suddenly swimming and I screamed in anger. I turned and shredded through the curtains in my fit of rage. I cried loudly not caring who heard. My lungs burned for air and I struggled to pull it in, the lump in my throat making it near impossible. I will get away even if I have to kill him. No mater what.