Summary; It had been one night, one night she had let her friends persuade her to let loose and have fun, a little to much fun. She didn't expect herself to wake up the next morning in Edward Cullen's bed, nor did she expect to find herself standing in front of him with life changing news a month later. Life was about to get interesting.
Bella POV
February 9, 2015
Wrapped tightly in a winter jacket I walked through the graveyard until I came to a stand still. There, buried underneath the while marble headstone was my daughter. Carlie Renee Cullen, my daughter, who would be one year old today. Looking down I place the bouquet of flowers on top, running my hand over the marble. "Hey baby" I said quietly, "it's your momma, happy birthday."
Closing my eyes I let the tears well in my eyes. "I know I don't come often enough, I'm so sorry baby, but it's just so hard. I wish I knew what I could've done better, what I could have done to save you, I'm so sorry. One year, I can't believe you're one-year-old today, my does time really fly. I miss you so much, I think of you every single day, every second that I can spare. I think of who you were, who you would have become, of everything your father and I wanted for you. I miss you baby girl, but I know now there was nothing I could have done."
"Bella" someone said from behind me as I whipped around to see Edward standing behind me.
Furiously wiping away my tears I turned back toward Carlie, taking a gulp as he walked forward. "Bella" he said again, his voice breaking a little as he came to stand next to me.
Letting out a sob Edward wrapped his arms around me, allowing me to cry into his chest, resting his chin on the top of my head. "Shh, it's alright, just let it out." He said, gently rubbing circles on my arm.
"Hey baby it's daddy." He started, continuing to hold me close. "Sorry it's been so long since I've seen you last, I know I've got to get here more, but this year has been really busy for me." He said as he continued to try and calm me down. "It doesn't seem like it's been a year since we've lost you princess, and what a long year it's been. Your mom and me, though we aren't together, I know we miss you every day, we love you every second of everyday."
Suddenly he stopped talking to Carlie and turned to me, "I wish I could understand every little thing that happened, what I did wrong, what we did wrong, what we could have done to fix what happened. But at the end of the day, there isn't anything we could have done, Bella. What happened to Carlie, was a fluke, there was nothing you could have done. You took the very best care of yourself, of her, there was nothing anyone could have done to save her, things, well they, just weren't meant to be." He said to me as I looked up and nodded.
"And us" I said as my voice cracked, Edward wiping a tear away with his thumb.
"What happened between us, that was my fault Bella. I was so distraught after losing Carlie that I didn't understand what you were trying to ask me. I should have known, or at least understood that all you wanted was a little time to be with your family; after all, that's what I was getting. I had the team and my parents, they're my family and I assumed that they were your family as well, I shouldn't have done that."
"You wanted me to be part of that family, I should have felt like part of that family. When I was pregnant with Carlie, your mother, your sister, your father; all did their best to make me feel like I was part of your family. You did your best to make me feel like I was a part of your family; but I was fighting it. For some reason, despite everyone's best efforts, I still felt like I was an outsider. Maybe in that situation, things just weren't meant to be." I said quietly, pulling further apart from him.
The two of us stayed for a while longer before saying our goodbyes to Carlie and heading toward the direction of our cars. "Hey Bella?" he said as he went to climb in the, what I assumed was a rental car.
"Yeah?"
"Do you maybe want to get some coffee with me? At the coffee shop where we met that first day?"
I thought for a moment, did I want to get coffee with him? Could I get coffee with him? Looking up at him I bit my lip, "I'm sorry Edward, I can't." I said turning toward my car, running to the driver's side climbing in. I was disappearing again; it's what I was good at.
Edward POV
That same day
Pulling up to the cemetery I parked my moms SUV and closed my eyes. Why had I asked them to let me do this alone? Why hadn't I allowed my mom, and Alice, and dad to come with me? Why did I want to do this alone? Pulling my scarf closer to my body, my hat down over my ears, and zipping my jacket I walked off in the direction of Carlie's grave.
Walking farther back into the cemetery I was quickly taken aback. There she was, my beautiful ex-girlfriend, the mother of my child, standing there talking to our daughter. I stood back for a couple moments, not wanting to interrupt her.
Even from afar I could tell that she had changed in the time we had been apart. Her hair was longer, done in loose curls rather than the messy bun I was used to seeing her with. Moving closer I was able to tell that her eyes were more defined, she wore more makeup than I remembered, but she was beautiful, she was grown up, she was Bella.
Sensing that she had finished talking I moved forward and spoke only one word. "Bella" I said quietly as she whipped around, her eyes wide and full of tears. Her mitten covered hands flying to her face wiping away her tears.
I walked forward until I was standing in front of her, she turned toward Carlie as I spoke her name again "Bella" my voice breaking this time. Before she could get any words out she let out a sob, practically collapsing into my arms as she stared to cry harder. "Shh, it's alright, just let it out." I said awkwardly, trying my best to rub soothing circles on her arm.
Not knowing what else to do I started talking to Carlie. "Hey baby it's daddy. Sorry it's been so long since I've seen you last, I know I've got to her here more, but this year has been really busy for me. It doesn't seem like it's been a year since we've lost your princess, and what a long year it's been." I gulped, pausing to look at Bella before continuing to speak. "Your mom and me, though we aren't together, I know we miss you every day, we love you every second of everyday."
Closing my eyes I looked down at Bella, "I wish I could understand every little thing that happened, what I did wrong, what we did wrong, what we could have done to fix what happened. But at the end of the day, there isn't anything we could have done, Bella. What happened to Carlie, was a fluke, there was nothing you could have done. You took the very best care of yourself, of her, there was nothing anyone could have done to save her, things, well they, just weren't meant to be."
She nodded, and for the first time she spoke. "And us?"
"What happened between us, that was my fault Bella, I was so distraught after losing Carlie that I didn't understand what you were trying to ask me. I should have known, or at least understood that all you wanted was a little time to be with your family; after all, that's what I was getting. I had the team and my parents, they're my family and I assumed that they were your family as well, I shouldn't have done that."
"You wanted to be part of that family, I should have felt like part of that family. When I was pregnant with Carlie, your mother, your sister, you father; all did their best to make me feel like I was part of your family. You did your best to make me feel like I was a part of your family; but I was fighting it. For some reason, despite everyone's best efforts, I still felt like I was an outside. Maybe in that situation, things just weren't meant to be." She said quietly, pulling away from me.
While we were no longer holding each other we stayed there, together, for a while longer, talking to Carlie, telling her what our wishes for her were, but never really telling her what our lives were like. Eventually we left and walked in the direction of our cars before I turned to her. "Hey Bella?" I asked her as I stood next to my opened car door.
"Yeah?"
"Do you maybe want to get some coffee with me? At the coffee shop where we met that first day?"
She looked thoughtful for a moment before looking at me biting her lip, "I'm sorry Edward, I can't." she said as she turned and jogged toward her car, climbing in and disappearing. She was leaving, once again she was getting in her car and driving away, she was leaving.
Five years later
August 19, 2020
"Hey Cullen get your ass in here!" someone yelled from the locker room as I pulled my headphones from my ears.
"I'm coming," I yelled back, walking into the locker room where everyone was gathered.
"Alright people now we all know that we unfortunately had to let our management staff go at the end of next season, and over the summer we were able to find a new GM, but put off finding an assistant until we had a better chance to look. So tonight at the little, I don't know, meet and greet you'll be able to meet the new General Manager and the Assistant to the General Manager." Coach Q said as we looked at each other and nodded.
"What's the dress code? Do I have to look all nice and shit?" Kaner asked as we looked at him and started laughing.
"Yes Kaner you have to look all nice and shit, jeans a dress shirt and a dinner jacket should be fine." Coach Q said in a grumbly tone before leaving the room making the entire team and staff to laugh.
"So who do you think the new Assistant GM is?" one of the guys asked everyone in general as we all shrugged.
"Who knows?" I answered as Kaner added his two senses in.
"I'm hoping it's this hot chick I saw in the offices the other day. Average height, short brown hair, skinny, hot face, yeah she looked all business like." He said as I rolled my eyes at his vulgarity.
"Alright, I have to get home, take care of Tuck, I'll see you guys later." I said as they waved and I stalked off in the direction of my car.
Driving in the direction of my apartment building I took the moment to think back on the last five years. It had been a crazy ride, between moving back and forth between teams, an eventually getting called up to play full time for the Hawks I hadn't had much time to think about anything else. So here I was, approaching thirty with no wife, no girlfriend, and certainly no prospects. Save my teammates and my family the only other person I had to speak to was Tuck, the cat.
The cat, I was twenty-nine years old with a cat. A cat because it was minimal responsibility, and when I was gone for days on end he could take care of himself. I was the crazy cat man, Christ I was turning into a woman.
Walking through the doors of my apartment the blue eyed calico cat ran forward, rubbing up against my legs as I bent down to pick him up. "Hey Tuck," I said rubbing him between the ears as he booped the top of his head on my cheek. "Looks like we have to get ready for some meet and greet tonight." I said, carrying him into my bedroom, setting him on the bed.
A couple hours later I walked into the restaurant where the meet and greet was behind held. Teammates and staff of all kinds were already here, wives, and children, family that was around occasionally. "Ed! Come here!" Kaner called from the bar with a tumbler of scotch in his hand as he casually chatted with a brunette in a black skirt and white shirt.
Waving to a couple people I made my way over to the bar, grabbing a beer before making my way over to Kaner. "Ed, I'd like you to meet our new assistant to the general manager, Isabella Swan." At that moment my heart dropped, there turning around with a nervous smile on her face was Bella, my Bella.
More beautiful than I had ever seen her, there she was. "Bella" I breathed as she bit her lip before smiling.
"Hey Edward" she said bashfully before I grabbed her, wrapping my arms around her in a hug. "I've missed you so much." She said hugging me back as Kaner stood there confused.
"Soooo you know each other?" he asked awkwardly as we quickly released each other and jumped back.
"Yeah, Bella and I, we dated, or um, had a relationship, or um"
"We were together for a while our senior year of college." Bella clarified looking at me with an amused smile on her face.
"Oh" he said before realizing what that meant. "Ooooh, um, oh look there's Tazer, I'm going to go, there." He said, making a b-line to Johnny and his wife.
Throwing her perfectly manicured hand to her mouth she laughed, throwing her head back I noticed the rock on her hand. "You're engaged?" I asked her as she removed her hand and looked at the ring, a sad look in her eyes.
"Um, I was" she said, slipping the ring off her finger and into the animal print purse on the bar. "My fiancé was, well he passed away almost eighteen months ago." She said as I nodded.
"Bella I'm so sorry, I didn't know." I said as she waved it off.
"No, it's fine. James, well, he went quickly. By the time they found the cancer he only had a couple weeks to live, we made the most of it while we could, and while it was completely devastating, knowing he was in a better place and the pain was gone made it okay." She said as I nodded. "But how have you been?"
"I've been good, spent the last five years playing hockey, and that's about it." I said as she laughed.
"No girlfriend? No wife?" I shook my head,
"I have a cat, that's about the extent of my relationships." I said as she started laughing.
"A cat? You have a cat?" she asked me laughing as I nodded. "Oh god, what would the boys say if they knew you had a cat?" she asked me, giggling uncontrollably.
"Oh shut up," I said shoving her shoulder lightly.
I don't remember much else of what happened that night. I remembered chatting with Bella for the remainder of the night. Monopolizing her time, laughing, and smiling, catching up, learning who she was. She was different, a lot different, but I hoped we would be able to build up a relationship again, even if nothing came of it.
Bella POV
I couldn't believe that I had forgotten that he was here, that he played for Chicago, but through the forgetfulness, I was okay with it. He was more handsome than I remembered, he was happy, and he had a cat. A cat, somehow this was the detail that I focused on the most. I wasn't sure what to think of it, because honestly I couldn't remember if we had ever even talked about how we felt about animals.
There were so many things that I couldn't remember about Edward. After the chance meeting at the cemetery five years ago I tried hard to avoid him. I wasn't sure why, I'm sure it had a lot to do with still being in love with him, but eventually I got over him, or so I thought.
I had met James two years after that day at the cemetery, and it hadn't taken long for the two of us to fall in love. James was a sweet guy, loved hockey, understood the demands of my job, and when I told him about Carlie, about Edward, he didn't run away. He proposed just six months after we first met, and we had set a date for the wedding when tragedy struck.
Just weeks before the wedding James collapsed at work and started to seize, it was at the hospital that we found out that he had a golf ball sized brain tumor, cancerous, and it was inoperable. We had made the decision to push back the wedding in hopes that chemo worked, but two weeks after the date our wedding was supposed to take place, James passed away in his sleep. It was tragic, and devastating, but we had talked of the possibility, and I was trying to move on, like James had wanted me too.
But here I was, nearly eighteen months late, in Chicago Illinois where old feelings were being stirred up. I wasn't sure how I felt about Edward anymore, but some part of me still loved him.
Authors Note; Sorry I've taken so long to update! Between finals and studying I haven't had much time to do anything. But since I'm home now I should be able to update more often.
- Lo