Ari had been right. Alexian Madden (that was his full name) was one of the most obnoxious people the Winter Soldier had ever encountered. And that was saying something, because he'd observed a lot of obnoxious, over-eager, try-hard "macho" agents and soldiers over the years, all trying their hardest to stand in the spotlight and prove themselves. They would harass the younger, newer agents and would act aggressive towards anyone who looked at them "funny." Interestingly enough, they never did seem to bother the Winter Soldier.
It was clear that Ari wanted Alex to immediately start tracking down HYDRA but no, Alex wanted to "sit and catch up." And by that, he meant make fun of Ari and brag about his life and crack obnoxious jokes that made no one laugh except for him. The Winter Soldier had never seen someone so oblivious to the fact that everyone in the room hated them. And the Winter Soldier did hate him, on principle. Alex was the kind of guy he would have liked to blast through a wall.
At one point, he completely zoned out from whatever nonsense Alex was babbling (while Ari sat in the corner, trying her hardest to converse normally with Alex) and began thinking about Steve again. Funny how everything seemed to come back to him—but had it not been for Steve, for Captain America, the Winter Soldier might never have realized that he used to be someone else. He would still be working for HYDRA, still be a killer, still be a robot inside. He still felt half-robot, but he was regaining his human side, a little bit. That much was evident. He would never have spent ten seconds with someone as human as Ari before he'd run into Steve Rogers.
He was grinning down at Steve, who was…runty. No other way to describe it. His grin was half-amused and half-exasperated. "Are you ever going to stop starting fights with people three times bigger than you?"
"Nope," said Steve as cheerfully as he could with a split lip.
He held his hand out and Steve grabbed it and he hauled him to his feet. It was easy. Steve was light, small. He shook his head at how ridiculous Steve looked, covered in dirt with a black eye and a split lip, grinning like the idiot he was. "You have a death wish, you know that, kid?"
The Winter Soldier groaned and pressed his fingers to his temples. The memory had been clear, clearer than most. The familiar throbbing was back in his head. He was getting used to the pain but the pain wasn't getting much better. His stomach churned as well.
"What's wrong, homeboy?" asked Alex. "You sick or something? Ari here is a nurse. She can fix you right up."
"I know that," said the Winter Soldier through gritted teeth.
"She can wear a nurse costume too, if you wa—"
"ALEX!" Ari shouted, looking extremely angry now. "You're crossing a line. Why can't you ever control yourself?"
Alex looked amused and the Winter Soldier scowled. This human being was so infuriating it was almost astonishing. As it turned out, the Winter Soldier didn't require someone to be shooting at him to want to rip them apart limb from limb. Everything that came out of Alex's mouth was insulting, rude, and overbearing.
"What?" asked Alex innocently. "Dude here looks like—well, you look like a tortured hobo," he said apologetically to the Winter Soldier. "And Ari tells me your name is Soldier? Yeah, sorry, but you look like you could be in a 90's metal band. How did you find Ari, anyway? She does this sometimes, has she told you that? Takes in stray weirdos like they're pets or something. Are you her new pet?" Alex Madden laughed.
He would regret it.
The Winter Soldier had had enough. In two seconds, he was on his feet, across the room, pulling his fist back—and then it slammed into Alex's faces so hard Alex's head smashed into the wall behind the sofa. The Winter Soldier took a step back, angrily evaluating the scene. Alex looked up, blinking, disoriented for a moment. Blood was dripping from his nose and Ari looked absolutely dumbfounded in the corner.
"Soldier," she started, but Alex leaped to his feet and launched at the Winter Soldier.
What happened next was fast and ugly. Alex was a large man, larger than the Winter Soldier, in fact, and he had considerable strength, so he managed to get a few solid hits in. But Alex fought like a bear or a bull, all charging straight force with no tactics or maneuvers. The Winter Soldier weaved and ducked around him, punching him in the face, gut, wherever, grabbing him and flipping him over and slamming him to the ground. Alex kicked out the Winter Soldier's legs and yanked him to the ground and then they were rolling on the ground furiously attacking each other. Ari was yelling for them to stop but no one took notice of her. The Winter Soldier felt too…happy. Too in his element. This was what he was good at.
He dragged Alex to his feet and slammed his head into his. Alex staggered back in a daze, blinking blood out of his eyes, and then charged at the Winter Soldier. Somehow, Ari ran up to Alex and grabbed his arm, shouting, "ALEX, STOP!"
Alex…well it was hard to say if he knew what he was doing or not. The Winter Soldier wagered most brothers wouldn't hit their sister, but Alex Madden was also a complete jerk. So when Ari yanked on his arm, he turned and punched her. She staggered back, a look of shock on her face, and fell to her feet.
This was the last straw for the Winter Soldier. Make no mistake about it, if his survival depended on killing Ari—he knew he would kill Ari. But he wouldn't make it painful for her and he would have a good reason to kill her. Alex? Alex had no good reason to hit his sister, especially in such a violent way. The Winter Soldier ripped off his glove, flexed his cybernetic arm, and then as Alex froze at the sight of his metal arm, the Winter Soldier slammed Alex in the face so hard he completely sprawled backwards, hitting the floor with a huge thud and then laying there, obviously defeated.
The Winter Soldier turned to Ari but she had already gotten to her feet. She didn't look too bad; her cheek would be badly bruised later but she was alright. She didn't even seem concerned about herself. She kept gaping at Alex and then at the Winter Soldier and then back at Alex and then back at the Winter Soldier. "You can fight," she said faintly. "I…I knew you were an assassin, but I didn't…I didn't know how well you could fight…"
"Now you know," he said. He watched her face closely to see if she was scared, but she looked more stunned than anything. She looked around the room. Several vases had shattered in the fight. Then, suddenly, she had the reaction he would never have suspected: she started laughing. It came in giggles at first and then it became full-blown laughter, the helpless kind that left her bent over, clutching her stomach, laughing so hard she couldn't speak.
"Is something funny?" he asked. Alex groaned on the ground.
"Alex finally got what he deserved," she said between rounds of laughter, her shoulders shaking. "That—was—HILARIOUS! I know…as a nurse…I shouldn't condone fighting…but man," she said, wiping her eyes, grinning. "That was amazing. I have wanted to see Alex get his butt kicked since we were kids. Only he's bigger than most guys, so…"
"Glad to be of service," said the Winter Soldier, somewhat bemused. Once again, Ari's reaction mystified him. Was this girl for real?
Alex got to his feet, groaning and rubbing his jaw, and then Ari fixed them both with a beady glare, suddenly done laughing. "Now," she said firmly, "if the two of you are done in your testosterone-fueled alpha male battle…which Alex lost," she interjected with too much glee to sound gracious, "…then I'd like to begin tracking. We're losing valuable time here."
Alex looked like he was going to argue but Ari snapped, "Clean yourself up and shut the hell up, for once, Alex," and she sounded so ferocious that even Alex Madden didn't crack a stupid joke or argue back. He merely disappeared into the bathroom to wash his face. The Winter Soldier looked at his face in the hallway mirror. He didn't look bad at all—no blood. No bruises. Alex was weaker than he'd thought.
Alex reappeared with his face washed and when he saw that the Winter Soldier, he frowned. "I went easy on you, punk," he warned with laughable machismo. "If it were up to me—"
Ari lost it. Her face turned so white it looked like all the blood had drained from it and a look of absolute rage came into her eyes. "Alex. Room. Now," she hissed. She grabbed Alex's arm roughly and dragged him into her bedroom, slamming the door shut. The Winter Soldier followed silently and stood at the door, eavesdropping. It was wrong but he didn't care at all. He wanted to know what Ari was saying. His hearing was good enough that he could hear her.
"He—is—my—patient!" she was hissing angrily. "He's sick. He needs help and I called you here because I know you can help. But you need to stop antagonizing him because first of all, you absolutely could not kick his ass—trust me on this, he could destroy you and I prefer my house to remain standing and not in ruins—and second of all, he has serious issues and you provoking him is only going to make him shut down and regress. He needs help, not someone taunting him every three seconds. So shut the hell up and help us or I'm going to kick you out like I did two years ago and this time I'll never call you again. Understand?" Her voice was shaking with rage and the Winter Soldier didn't even have time to move out of the way before she wrenched the door open and marched outside. She looked at him, knew he had been eavesdropping, but chose to say, "Come on, Soldier. It's time to figure out where HYDRA is hiding your files."
The Winter Soldier couldn't help but feel extremely odd. Ari was maintaining so much composure, no matter what he did. Refuse to follow her orders, beat up her brother, destroy her belongings, eavesdrop at the door…and still she treated him kindly. Was this a nurse thing? The Winter Soldier had never been around nurses but from what Ari was showing him, they must have a lot of stamina and strength to constantly remain professional around people who were troubling them. It didn't matter that the Winter Soldier hadn't checked into a hospital or clinic; Ari saw him as her patient and she was going to help him, everything else be damned. He suspected there was something underneath her determination that she wasn't quite showing him—some reason why she was so passionate about this—but since he couldn't put his finger on it, he couldn't ask her about it.
Alex was more subdued after that, though he continued to make stupid jokes every now and then and make fun of Ari. The Winter Soldier chalked it up to a truly rotten personality but he controlled himself, for Ari's sake. She was helping him, so he would control himself and not cause any more unnecessary issues for her. However, the Winter Soldier decided privately, if he ever ran into Alex Madden outside of Ari's house, he was going to send him blasting into the next galaxy.
Alex sat down at the kitchen table and pulled out a sleek silver laptop that had no logo on it. Ari had approached the table with her Macbook and she frowned when she saw Alex using his own laptop. "Why are we using your laptop?" she asked. "I have one."
Alex scoffed when he saw her Macbook. "You want me to use that? First of all, Macbooks are ridiculous. They're pretty and flashy and well-made…for everyday use. I would never use a Macbook if I wanted to hack or track someone. Also, we can be traced if we use your Macbook because you have an IP address and your Macbook is registered in your name. Do something illegal with your laptop and we'll have people on your doorstep in hours. Do you want that?"
It felt like someone had poured ice water down the Winter Soldier's spine. HYDRA could find him that easily. He'd gotten a bit used to not being on his guard while staying here but this was a not-so-friendly reminder that he wasn't ever truly safe…at least not until he figured out who he was…and then destroyed HYDRA.
Because that was his plan. He didn't know when he'd arrived at it, but now that he had, he wasn't going to back down. He was going to destroy the organization which had stolen his life and memories and he would do it even if he died trying. It's not really as if he had anything to really live for anyway, so why not give up his life to break HYDRA?
Alex powered up his laptop and cracked his knuckles. "Alright, so what are we looking for?"
"Do you know about…HYDRA?" Ari asked tentatively, sitting down in a chair next to him. The Winter Soldier lurked behind Ari, standing. He felt too antsy to sit down and he definitely didn't want to sit next to Alex.
Alex suddenly shot Ari a sharp, suspicious look. "How do you know about HYDRA?"
Her jaw fell. "How do you know about it?" she demanded. Alex shiftily avoided her gaze and she repeated, "Alex, how do you know about HYDRA?"
He looked a little sheepish now, running his hands through his blonde hair. (How did two people who looked so different come to be siblings? wondered the Winter Soldier. Ari was dark brown hair and bright blue eyes and Alex was blond hair and brown eyes. Ari actually resembled the Winter Soldier far more than she resembled Alex, except she was obviously much smaller.) "I…" He cleared his throat. "I may have…run across it a long time ago. When I was a teenager. And sort of hacked into their files."
"What?" demanded the Winter Soldier, unable to control himself. How had a teenager managed to stumble across HYDRA, hack into their systems, and never get caught? He truly must have been amazing.
Ari's jaw had fallen for a different reason. "You hacked into a dangerous organization's files?" she demanded shrilly. "While you were living with me and Mom and Dad? Did you never think about our safety or what HYDRA would have done to us if you'd been found out?" Her hand cracked across Alex's face, snapping it to the side, leaving a bright red handprint.
"I'm sorry," snapped Alex. "I was a kid." He chuckled. "And it was so easy to get in, I swear… I'm sure they've updated their security. I mean, I only managed to flit in once or twice as a kid…just long enough to realize what they were…"
The Winter Soldier could see what Ari meant about Alex being an a-hole. He didn't seem aware of how dangerous HYDRA truly was. He was incredibly lucky that his hacking in had never been detected (probably because it had been so minor and had only accessed first-level files) because if it had, HYDRA would have "accidentally" dropped an explosive on his house, killing all the Maddens and blaming it on some freak accident. And that was the nice option. They might have easily dragged the whole family into their headquarters and tortured them until they completely lost their mind, demanding to know why they had been hacking in, who they worked for, what they were looking for, what they had found, and so on… The Winter Soldier knew because he'd seen it done before. He'd even helped once or twice. This was back when he snapped necks like it was as easy and trivial as eating a cracker. He itched to tell Alex the danger he'd escaped, the danger that he might have subjected his family to, but he had a feeling Alex either wouldn't care or wouldn't believe him. So instead, he did something even stranger: he put a hand (the flesh one) on Ari's shoulder. She'd been shaking in rage and he was actually trying to still her because she was making him very anxious (he didn't like people being keyed up around him; it made him tense)…but she must have taken it as him trying to comfort him. She shrugged his hand off but she nodded at him and then a blank expression crossed her face as she looked at Alex. The Winter Soldier recognized the look. She was shutting down, locking her emotions away so she could interact with Alex without letting years and years of pent-up anger get in the way.
"We need to track down HYDRA," she said harshly. "That fiasco that happened in D.C. a few weeks ago? That was HYDRA going down. They'd infiltrated this 'good' organization called SHIELD and they had some…weird plan to do something horrible. Whatever. There was a big fight, Captain America was involved, and HYDRA vanished. But they're still out there and we need to find where they're hiding out, or where they keep their files."
"What's in their files?" asked Alex. A hungry look had come into his eyes that sent off alarms in the Winter Soldier's head.
"Nothing," he said roughly. "Do what Ari told you to do—now."
"How can I do that if I don't know what I'm looking for?" Alex demanded. "You have to give me some details."
Ari hesitated but the Winter Soldier cut in again. Alex wanted some information? Fine. He would get it. He asked for it, now he was going to have to digest it. "We're looking for files on the Winter Soldier," he said in a low voice, a voice that laced with dangerous warnings. "That's right, I'm the Winter Soldier. I used to be an assassin for HYDRA and I need their files on me."
Alex had paled slightly but then he suddenly he smirked. "Assassin? No…no way, dude… That's just a story to impress the girls."
"Impress the girls?" Ari asked under her breath incredulously. "Oooh, he can murder me, what a turn on!" Sarcasm oozed off her tongue.
The Winter Soldier flipped out his switchblade from his belt quicker than Alex could blink and then he had jammed it under Alex's neck, delicately tracing down his jugular vein. "Still don't believe me?" whispered the Winter Soldier malevolently.
"Okay—OKAY, I got it!" said Alex, swallowing, looking properly fearful for the first time. Good. The Winter Soldier pocketed his blade, watching Alex closely. Alex glared at him and muttered, "Freaking psycho," but dragged the laptop towards him and said, "Alright…let's get working."
What happened next was…boring. The Winter Soldier had done hacking, but not much—only elementary-level hacking into computers and alarm systems that only had minimal protection. It was always amusing how many powerful people only had one password which was almost always something really obvious, like the name of their mistress or pet. And that type of hacking had always only taken a few minutes at most. What Alex was attempting to achieve was big-scale. HYDRA was weakened but still a powerful organization. Finding them wouldn't be easy. Breaking into their files would be harder. Alex Madden had last broken into their files years ago. HYDRA' s security would have updated to the best, most upscale security that there was. It all depended on if Alex was as good as he claimed to be.
Ari watched at first but eventually she got bored and she wandered away to sit on the sofa and read a book. The Winter Soldier stood a foot away from Alex and watched the screen carefully. At one point, Alex looked over his shoulder and said, "Dude, your staring is creepy. Or is it my looks you're admiring? I'm a handsome guy, I admit, but a little out of your league, don't you think?"
"If you think I'm letting you hack into my files without me watching, you're dead wrong," replied the Winter Soldier. "Emphasis on the word dead."
Alex didn't complain again after that.
Hours passed and Alex clicked and typed away, searching through black screens with scrolling symbols that flashed white and green and other strange things that made no sense to the Winter Soldier. He expected Alex to get frustrated or bored but he seemed to get even more excited and happy when another hour had passed and nothing had been found. It was like he relished the hunt. He was so absorbed in his task that he even forgot to make fun of Ari and the Winter Soldier and the house for a little bit. The Winter Soldier considered it a blessing in disguise; it had seemed that nothing on this planet could shut Alex Madden up.
Ari fell asleep on the couch eventually and still the Winter Soldier watched Alex quietly. He was bored, too, but he wasn't taking his eyes off the screen. He hadn't forgotten the look that had crossed Alex's eyes when he had asked what was in the files. It had been a dangerous look, one that was hungry and said something wasn't quite right with Alex. The Winter Soldier trusted him as much as he trusted HYDRA right now…which was not at all.
Ari eventually woke up and decided to make dinner but as she stared into the fridge, she said, "Screw it," and slammed three bowls, a gallon of milk, and cereal on the table. "We're having cereal for dinner." Alex was so engrossed in his work that he didn't even look up. "Soldier, come here, I'm going to assess you," said Ari.
"I have to watch him," said the Winter Soldier.
"I'll do it where he's in your eyesight."
He stepped back and perched on the arm of the sofa, keeping his eyes on Alex's laptop, while Ari assessed him all his systems physically and asked questions about if anything hurt, where it hurt, for how long, aggravating factors…basic things. Then she asked him about his memories and he shook his head, motioning to Alex, and she shut her mouth, understanding. Neither of them trusted Alex with the information that the Winter Soldier was recovering his memories—and that his memories were paining him.
Ari ate cereal (the Winter Soldier and Alex didn't) and went to bed, warning, "Any more fights and I'll call the police myself," before leaving. The light outside darkened and the Winter Soldier switched on some lamps and still stood there, leaning back against the wall, arms folded. This was incredibly boring. Who knew hacking and tracking were so boring? So…boring… His eyes had almost started to drift shut of their own accord when Alex suddenly leaped to his feet, knocking his chair backwards, and yelled, "I GOT IT!"
The Winter Soldier's eyes shot open and he was immediately at Alex's side, peering at the screen. Ari came running out her room, rubbing her eyes, wearing a t-shirt and baggy black track pants. She leaned over and peered at the screen and for a moment the room was silent. Then she and the Winter Soldier exchanged glances and Ari said, "I have no idea what that says."
Neither did the Winter Soldier but he didn't want to admit it.
Alex smirked, his annoying expression returning. "Of course you don't," he said smugly "They're in code. Even I can't read the actual files…but I can figure out the titles. Trust me…I've found HYDRA. Here are their coordinates. I've even managed to get access to their files…here are all the files on 'The Winter Soldier Project'."
"Print them out," snapped Ari. "Quickly!"
"What?" asked Alex.
"Alex, are you an idiot? Print out all the papers we need and get out of their system as fast as you can," said Ari. "If they find…" She fell silent at the fierce look the Winter Soldier gave her.
Alex gave her a suspicious look, his eyes swiveling from her to the Winter Solder. "You're hiding something from me. Is Mr. Winter Soldier not supposed to be hacking into their files? I thought he worked for them."
"Would you like a dagger in your eyeball?" asked the Winter Soldier. "Print. The. Papers."
Alex scowled but immediately began to print all the pages. The printing itself took well over one hour because there were so many papers, all coded in a way that didn't make sense to any of them. And a few of the pages reported HYDRA's location, which none of them could make sense of either. Finally, when hundreds of pages had printed, Alex immediately got out of HYDRA's system and then set to cleaning out his laptop so no trace of his hacking and tracing could be found out.
Ari found a binder clip and clipped all the papers and handed them to the Winter Soldier. "Here you go," she said grimly. "We've found your files. And they're useless. We can't decipher this code."
The Winter Soldier privately agreed but he still took the papers and sat down on the sofa, staring at the meaningless symbols and letters. What did they mean? Did the key to who he was lay within these papers? Would these papers explain why he had been chosen to become the Winter Soldier? Would they talk about the tests that had been done on him? Would there be any records as to who Bucky Barnes had been? He closed his eyes, a throbbing headache coming on strong, and leaned back on the couch, trying to clear his mind from the frustrating thoughts that were pulsing behind his eyes. His brain felt tight, like it might explode. There wasn't enough room in his skull for all his conflicted thoughts.
Alex packed up his laptop and stood up. Ari immediately faced him and said, "Get out." Alex looked shocked and said, "Wait, what? I just helped you!"
Ari crossed her arms. "I know. That doesn't make up for the last gazillion years. Get out of my house."
"Not for much longer," sneered Alex. "Remember our deal?"
The Winter Soldier opened one eye and watched them, curiosity piqued. Here was the mysterious deal Ari had made with her brother.
"Yes," snapped Ari. "But I'll uphold that after I help Soldier. Get out, go back to California. You have enough money to leave right now."
"You won't even let me stay the night?" Alex mockingly clapped a hand to his chest. "Thanks a lot, dear sister. I feel the love."
"What love?" Ari asked quietly.
Alex fell silent for a moment and then he rolled his eyes. "You always were a bitch. Such a drama queen. Fine, whatever, Ari, kick me out. I expect our deal to be upheld at the end of this mess you're in or I'll make things very hard for you. You know that." He grabbed his bags which had been dropped in the front hall and left, slamming the door so hard the frame shook.
"You always do," murmured Ari, gripping the chair next to her tightly. She was looking away from the Winter Soldier so he couldn't see her expression, but then she looked at him, a determined look on her face. "Sorry about that scene. But I needed Alex to leave. For obvious reasons—but also because we need to get moving in the morning and Alex is like a lazy sloth. He would have held us up and asked nosy questions. The best way to get Alex to move fast is to insult him and piss him off."
"What was the deal you two made?" asked the Winter Soldier.
"Not right now," she said. "We need to pack."
"To go where?" demanded the Winter Soldier.
Ari immediately looked on her guard. She brushed her hair back and said, "Don't freak out, okay?"
"Are you going to say something to make me freak out?" he asked through gritted teeth.
"We need to find someone who can decode these files for her," she said tentatively. "And I'm guessing only someone at HYDRA can decode them. Which means we need to break into HYDRA headquarters. Except…we can't do that alone. We need to first find someone to help us figure out this coordinates and help get us to HYDRA headquarters. And I think"—she took a deep breath—"that SHIELD can help us with that. And Captain America," she added quickly, as if saying it quickly wouldn't make it sound as bad.
"I'm with you till the end of the line!"
"Your names is James Buchanan Barnes."
"NO!" The Winter Soldier was on his feet, panic mingling with fear and anger. Breaking back into HYDRA…exposing himself to SHIELD…coming face-to-face with Captain America (even though it had been weeks)…he couldn't do it. It was too soon. He felt like his mind was unraveling.
"Soldier, you have to," said Ari gently. "You can't keep running. Where will you go? No place on Earth can give you answers to who James Buchanan Barnes was except for HYDRA and SHIELD and Captain America. And last we heard of them, they're all still in D.C. You need answers."
"I'm not ready," he spat out, hating Ari for making him admit this—but hating himself more for feeling this way. So much for being a dangerous master assassin. He felt more like a mental incompetent fool now, confused and blundering and afraid of a man called something as ridiculous as Captain America.
Or was he afraid of what Captain America would tell him? Afraid that he'd realize all the things that had been stolen from him couldn't be brought back? The truth could hurt worse than any lie, he was slowly figuring that out.
"I think you're ready," said Ari quietly, "but if you really don't feel ready…we won't go. I just think the longer you wait, the worse you'll feel. But it's up to you."
The Winter Soldier sat there for a moment, staring at the wall in front of him—all the fragmented memories he'd recalled rushing past in his mind like a strange flipbook—and then he licked his dry lips, trying to rub the dull throb in his temples away, and looked at the one person who'd given him a chance and was giving him yet another chance to find out who he was. "Fine," he said, swallowing. "We leave tomorrow."
"Then you'd better get ready," said Ari. "Because you're going to meet Captain America." And with those somewhat ominous sounding words, she turned and disappeared back into her room, leaving him sitting in the dark family room alone, staring into the empty fireplace.