AN: SOME DUDE FAVORITED MY STORY! IT WAS MORGAUR! THANK YOU MORGAUR FOR FAVORITING MY SUPER AWESOME STORY! AND ALSO THANK YOU BLURGEDY FOR ALSO FAVORITING MY STORY!

AN: I DON'T OWN HARRYPOTER FOR THE THRID TIME YOU PEOPLE ARE SILLIYFACES FACES FACES FOR MAKING ME SAY IT A THIRD TIME. WHY WOULD IT HAVE CHANGE SINCE THE LAST CHAPTER? LIKE I'M GONNA GET RICH IN BETWEEN WRITING CHAPTERS AND BUY THE RIGHTS TO HARRY POTTER? SERIOUSLY, COME ON NOW.

CHAPTER 2: THE SECOND CHAPTER!

HARRY, CHICKHARRY AND DUMBLEDORE WERE EATING TEA AND CRUMPETS CAUSE THEY WERE BRITISH AND BRITISH PEOPLE EAT TEA AND CRUMPETS FOR BREAKFAST LUNCH AND DINNER, BUT DUMBLEDORE CAN'T EAT THAT BECAUSE HE'S OLD AND OLD PEOPLE CAN ONLY EAT PILLS, BUT HE CAN'T EAT PILLS CAUSE HE'S BRITISH AND HAD TO EAT TEA AND CRUMPETS. SO HE COMPROMISED AND ATE TEA FLAVORED PILLS AND CRUMPET FLAVORED PILLS. AND AN ANVIL FELL ON DEAD RON'S HEAD WHICH DIDN'T HURT HIM CAUSE HE WAS DEAD BUT HE FORGOT AGAIN SO IT DID! TEHN SUDDENLY THE AXEM RAgnERS SHOWED AND STARTED SCREAMING!

"HEY STUPIDS, GIVE US, THE STAR PIECE!"

"WHAT? STAR PIECE? THIS ISN'T A SUPER MARIO RPG: LEGEND OF THE SEVEN STARS FANFIC. GO NEXT DOOR!" ROARED HARRY

"OH SORRY. LATERS."

THEN SOME GUY NAMED ROAR SHOWED UP AND KICKED CHICKHARRY IN THE NUTS, EXCEPT SHE DIDN'T HAVE NUTS ANYMORE SO SHE WAS LIKE "MUHAHAHAHA I AM NOT A GUY WITH SILLY WEAK BALLS ANYMORE! CHICKS ARE BETTER!"

"ARE NOT!" YELLED HARRY. THEN CHICKHARRY KICKED HIM IN THE BALLS AND HARRY FELL ON THE GROUND AND WAS ALL OKAY FINE THEY ARE!

"HAHA!" SCREAMED CHICKHARRY, BUT THEN SHE FELL OVER TOO AND WAS ALL "OH NOES! I AM HAVING MY PERIOD!" THEN HARRY GOT UP A FEW MINUTES LATER BUT CHICKHARRY WOULD BE IN PAIN FOR A FEW MORE DAYS! SO HARRY WAS ALL "HAHA, GUESS BEING A CHICK AIN'T THAT GREAT EITHER," SO HERMIONE KICKED HIM IN THE BALLS AGAIN.

NOW I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING! HARRY AND CHICKHARRY ARE ACTUALLY THE SAME PERSON, AND YOU'RE RIGHT. EXCEPT RON FORGOT SO THEY AREN'T. RON IS SUCH A DUMBASS.

MEANWHILE AT THE HALL OF JUSTICE.

LEZ LUTHOR HAD KILLED SUPERMAN. SHE HAD DONE SO BY PUTTING ON KRYPTONITE HEELS AND STEPPING ON HIS BALLS. THEN SHOOTING HIM REPEATEDLY WITH A KRYPTONITE GUN THAT FIRES KRYPTONITE BULLETS AND USES KRYPTONITE GUNPOWDER AND HAS A KRYPTONITE HOLSTER! THEN CUTTING HIM INTO THOUSANDS OF TINY LITTLE PIECES WITH A KRYPTONITE KNIFE, THEN SENDING ALL THOSE TINY LITTLE PIECES TO DIFFERENT PLANETS WITH A RED SUN! 1

"COME BACK TO LIFE FROM THAT! YOU WHINY WEAKLINGFACE GOD! WHIMPYGOD WUSSYGOD PUSSY GOD!"

THEN LEZ LUTHOR RAPED WONDERWOMAN BUT SHE COULDN'T RAPE WONDERWOMAN SO SHE DIDN'T AND WONDERWOMAN KILLED HER FOR TRYING EXCEPT THE chickenhorse ATE LEZ LUTHOR WITH teh evul powah! BEFORE SHE COULD KILL HER! THEN HE RAPED WONDERWOMAN WITH teh evul powah! AND ATE HER USING the evul powah! TOO! AND LEZ LUTHOR AND WONDERMANWOMAN FELL IN LOVE WITH CHICKENHORSE BE CAUSE HE WAS REALLY GOOD AT EATING GIRLS. Not as good as me, though. Muhahaha. I have no idea why I just laughed evilly. So then CHICKENHORSE ATE THEM BOTH USING TEH EVUL POWAH! FOR REALL AND NOT IN THEE SEXUAL SENSE BUT IN THE REALITY TYPE SENSE.

AND CHICKENHORSE WAS ALL "ROAR!" BECAUSE HE WAS SUDDENLY FILLED AN INSANE RAGICNG DESIRE TO GO EAT DUMBLEDORE BECAUSE DUMBLEDORE HAD JUST BECOME UNSPEAKABLY EVIL SINCE DEAD RON FORGOT DUMBLEDORE WAS GOOD!

SO THE CHICKENHORSE RAN TO EAT UDMELBORESKADORE QUICKLY ROARING AND ATE DUMBLEDORE USING teh evul powah! AND DUMBLEDORE FROM INSIDE CHICKENHORSE'S STOMACH WAS ALL "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BEWARE THE POWER OF MY SECRET ELABORATE PLANS, FOR I KNEW RON WOULD GET KILLED AND FORGET THAT I WAS GOOD. I ALLOWED MY MAGICYNESS TO FAIL AT PROTECTING ME FROM THE EFFECTS OF RON'S STUPIDITY TEMPORARILY BUT NOW I AM GOOD AGAIN YOU FOOLISH FOOLISH FOOL!"

"OH NOES!" SCREAMED THE CHICKENHORSE WHILE SCREAMING, THEN VOMITED UP DUMBLEDORE AND RANDOMLY EXPLODED FOR NO REASON!

YAY! THIS MEANS THE STORY'S OVER AND THE GOOD UGYS WIN RIGHT?

RIGHT?

RIGHT?

RIGHT?

RIGHT?

WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!WRONG!WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!WRONG!WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!WRONG!WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!WRONG!WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!WRONG!WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!WRONG!WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!WRONG!WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!WRONG!WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!WRONG!WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!WRONG!WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!WRONG!WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!WRONG!WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!WRONG!WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!WRONG!WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!WRONG!WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!WRONG!WRONG!

STUPID STUPID STUPID DUMB STUPID HEAD.

You forgot about the Stinky Crystal Hat™. DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! YOU FREAKING IDIOTS! I mean seriously, are you stupid or womething? What kind of story only has 3 chapters?! What kind of stupid moronic braindead… okay I see your point! So then the author showed up and kicked the author in the author's crotch, and the author fell on the author's knees in pain and the author said, "Damn it author, this story is none of those things! It's awesome and badass and wonderful and a ton better than the books as anyone who reads it can plainly see! Wait a second, why is there another author anyway? Damn it Ron!" So the author got all angry and sent Ron to the bog of eternal stench and ugliness and nails on a chalkboard noises and unpleasant textures. And a bunch of women that were there blamed ron for their being there because women always blame men for everything, even things that are so obviously out of their control that its crazy to blame them for it. So the women starting starting stomping on ron and strampling him, and sitting on his face and making him lick their cooches because when women get angry at men they sit on their faces and make them lick their cooches, and droping heavy things on his nuts except they weren't very heavy because women are weak and puny in the muscle department, but it would have hurt him if he weren't dead and it did anyway because he forgot again, but then ron forgot he was a guy so he was a girl and the women magically liked him, since women only ever have sympathy for other women and don't give a shit about men at all ever because they're so upset about a bunch of bullcrap that men supposedly do but really there's only a few men that actually really have any control over it! Every other man is either sheepishly following it without knowing any better, or a few are being just as pissed off about it as the women! But then a cow farted and ron and the other womenses starting smelling like cow farts forever!

So then the Stinky Crystal Hat™ was all "ROOAAAAARRRRRRRR! YOU STUPID CHIKCENHORSE! I DO NOT TOLERATE FAILURE, JAILURE, OR ANYTHING ELSE THAT RHYMES WITH IT! YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSE TO FAIL! I HATE FAILURE! FAILURE'S BAD, MMM'KAY!I DON'T LIKE IT! IT'S DUMB! YOU'RE DUMB FOR FAILING! QUIT FAILING DAMMIT! YOU HAS FAILED ME FOR THE LAST TIME!

Then the stinky crystal hat made the chickenhorse dead.

"Wait a minute, didn't he just explode?"Hermione reasonably and politely inquired, so naturally the author sent Hermione to the bog bog of eternal stench and ugliness and nails on a chalkboard noises and unpleasant textures too for being a know-it-all, except she went to an area populated by all men, so the men started asking her how they were supposed to fix it and stuff cause when men don't know what to do they usually ask women without really expecting them to know so they can get mad at them when they don't know because most men aren't raised to know how to process emotions correctly and women used to be raised to process all but anger correctly but now anger is women only too, and men are supposed to be robots with no emotions. Then they got mad at her because she didn't know, but a giant moose shat on them so they got mad at it instead! But then the author teleported her back.

"That will teach you not to ask perfectly reasonable questions, you dumb bitch," YELLED THE AUTHOR!

I just caps-locked the wrong part of the sentence.

I cannot believe I did that…

Then author blew up the earth so none of the characters would find out and teleported the characters all to the planet moomar, where wild giant talking apples frolicked freely in the lush forests and chickens liked eating giant talking apples. Also chikcens are badass like in zzelda.

So then the Stinky Crystal Hat™ was all "muhahahahahahar, I don't need nobody to wear me no more!" and Hermione was all "abracareseal the evu-OW" because she tried to cast a spell but the Stinky Crystal Hat™ threw a rock and hit her in the face with it and teleported away!

TO BE CONTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!