Note: Please remember that River insisted they change their names. River is Santha, Jayne is James. Sometimes it feels confusing.
Santha let her consciousness expand, filling the ship that imprisoned them. She skimmed lightly over the minds of their fellow prisoners. Twenty seven couples, including them, male and female.
Part of her began to relate these numbers to the Shepherd's book. No. Still early quantum theory. The number of mammals was still too great to include them all… unless… cryogenic zygotes?
No. Impractical. How would they be implanted with Noah's level of technology?
On to the captors, she instructed herself. Time was limited, this process was wearying. She should collect any information she could then return to being just herself.
Only eight crew members, even though the ship was larger than Serenity.
The first mind she touched in the crew spaces made her recoil. Greasy evil hun dan.
All of Jayne's worst qualities, concentrated and multiplied with none of his caring or ethics. Funny how Jayne could become a paragon of virtue with one simple comparison.
She moved on. That one was too mired in filth to be useful, and he was a lowly toad besides.
No women on the crew, she observed. That was a good thing with the toad around. She noted their names and as many tidbits of information as she could dig for.
The captain was the most useful. He was reading relevant governing law, looking for loopholes to make him more money.
Santha's heart sank. Quite creepifying to know the government was paying the bill for what was happening to them.
She stayed as long as she could, memorizing details and reading over his shoulder, well, more like through his eyes. She even found her own set of loopholes.
If only she could exploit them without killing them both.
When she could hang on no longer, she returned to herself, gasping.
"Hey there, easy, girl." James rumbled, leaning over her.
Santha sat up as much as the tiny space would allow, ready to act on her new knowledge.
"I need you to braid my hair." She was vaguely surprised that the words came out so clearly.
"I've done that, see?" James picked up the thick braid hanging down her back.
"Disguise." Santha said impatiently. "Would take eleven point six hours to effect properly in optimal circumstances."
It also meant he would be touching her, she realized, with a quiver. This could be the trigger to intimacy. Good. She was tired of waiting in nervous anticipation.
Despite his earlier endearing speech, River had too much knowledge of Jayne to believe he could sustain enough control not to touch her in a sexual way. The suspense was becoming annoying.
Santha pinched a tiny section of hair and held it towards him. "Tiny, like this." She braided the section tightly all the way to it's end.
She felt he was about to refuse. "The girl is incapable of doing it properly alone."
They stared at each other for long evaluating moments.
Santha turned up the pleading in her eyes. "River is begging Jayne to help her." She placed a hand on his shoulder and leaned forward in the tiny space. "She does not want to be recognized."
"What happened to the false names?" Jayne asked.
Santha shook her head impatiently. "There are no listening ears. Jayne and River know one another; James and Santha have only just met." She hoped he understood her meaning. "River begs the favor from her crewmate."
"Fine. Just don't look at me like that." James caved.
Santha instantly schooled her face into blankness.
"Gorramit. That's worse." He complained.
"You'll do it?" She asked hopefully.
"Yeah." He agreed. "Not all at once. I can tell this is gonna cause some pain."
Her face fell. "I don't…"
"Stop it. Wo de ma, you're right, if we can disguise you it will be better all around. I just know we don't have enough room for this."
Santha nodded, watching his mind flit through possibilities.
Finally, he scooted to the padded end of the compartment. He spread his legs as far as he could in the cramped space.
"Set your ass right here." He ordered. "And lean back on your elbows. You sure they have to be that tiny?"
"Yes." She positioned herself as instructed.
James huffed.
"To match the picture on the Cortex." She clarified.
"What picture?" James asked, leaning around her head so he could see her face.
"Santha Brown's ID photo from six years ago." She turned her head so she could meet his eyes.
The motion brought their faces within inches of touching. Awareness gripped her.
James grabbed the back of her head to turn her away from him again. Only his telegraphed thoughts allowed her to avoid a neck injury.
"Ow." Santha complained, even though she was unhurt. He easily could have snapped her neck.
"Sorry." James mumbled.
He really was contrite, so she forgave him and searched the surface of his mind for the reason. A knife of heat shot through her belly. He'd done it because he was afraid he would kiss her. But Jayne didn't kiss. She'd heard him say so more than once.
James loosened her braid and ran nimble fingers through her hair. "Wish we had a comb."
Santha couldn't respond. Every ounce of her considerable brain power was bent on analyzing her response to his touch.
"Where do I start?" He asked.
It took her a long time to comprehend and longer to respond.
"Front to back." She said finally. "The first inch needs to be tiny and tight. You may become progressively larger after that."
She pinched a larger portion to demonstrate. "The largest ones, back of skull and nape of neck."
"Fine, lets do this."
"Simon?"
He winced, he might have been pleased with the level of concern in Kaylee's voice if she didn't also sound so distressed.
"Hmm, yeah." He whispered hoarsely.
"Shepherd said not to bother you, but…" Kaylee's voice trailed off in what sounded almost like a sob.
Just then Wash came around the corner. "Ta ma de. What happened to you? You look like you've been attacked by a flock of birds."
Zoë appeared behind her husband just as Simon felt his balance start to waver.
"Hold there, Doc." Zoë pushed past her husband. "Is your side hurt?
"No." He tried, but no sound came out.
"Lean on me, then." She said. "Where were you headed?"
"Infirmary." He mouthed. "Can't talk."
"I'll get you there."
Simon was grateful for her guidance, but didn't lean heavily.
"Put your weight on me." The warrior woman instructed. "I can take it."
"Just unsteady." Simon finally managed a bit of volume. "Drugs wearing off."
"Drugs?" Zoë scowled. "What sort of stunt is this?"
Simon hoped that was meant rhetorically, because he wasn't sure how to explain.
Mal swore as he came upon them. "We've got you." He took Simon's other arm, peering into his face. "You sure did a number on yourself."
"Necessity." Simon stumbled as they entered the infirmary. "Shouldn't be up."
Mal and Zoë helped him into the exam chair.
"What do you need, Doc?" Mal asked.
"Hot tea." Simon nodded Mal's attention towards Kaylee and Wash in the doorway.
"Nothing to see here." Mal said. "Wash, go play pilot, Kaylee, go brew the Doc some tea."
Simon attached the life signs monitors to himself before allowing himself to collapse against the exam chair. He mentally reviewed his symptoms. No surprises. Good.
"Diagnostic scanner?" He asked, looking to Zoë, who was on that side of the room.
Zoë brought it to him, still frowning.
"Captain? You knew something about this?"
Mal winced slightly. Simon fiddled with the scanner, careful not to make any facial movements. They hurt right now.
"Pretty much, yes." Mal said. "Doc thought some cosmetic surgery would improve his looks."
"Captain?" Zoë's voice now held warning.
Mal stiffened in that I'm-the-captain way. "We did discuss it, he said it would be enough disguise to fool the Feds. Still looks like himself to me."
"Sir?" Zoë raised her eyebrows. "Except for the bruises you mean?"
"Yeah, I guess there's that." Mal agreed.
The scanner chimed and Simon busied himself with the readouts. He sighed in relief. Everything exactly as ordered. He hadn't been sure about the eye work, but he'd done it anyway.
"Everything shiny?" Mal asked him.
"More than." Simon mouthed, he needed to give his battered voice box a rest or it would be permanently scarred.
"I thought so!" Inara swept into the room. "Kaylee told me about the bruising. Sounded just like…" Her voice trailed off as she took in exactly how mangled he looked. "Oh my." She turned to Mal. "I'll take this from here."
Mal opened his mouth to protest.
"Send Kaylee in with the tea when she has it ready." Inara continued.
Something in her expression made Zoë tap Mal's shoulder and nod towards the door. He went with her.
"Companions all go through it." Inara said, sliding the door shut. "Most more than once. I don't think you could have picked this up on Ariel. Most hospitals don't stock it in the pharmacy." She held up a foil packet and shook it in front of his eyes.
Simon took it to make it stop shaking long enough to read the label. "No." He whispered. "I don't have anything nearly as nice."
"Oh, you poor baby." Inara was instantly more sympathetic. "You did the voice too? That's the worst."
Inara sterilized her hands. "Let me have that back." She opened a corner of the packet and carefully measured some of the medicinal cream onto her fingers.
"Quite a sight you are." Inara said, gently massaging the cream onto his bruises. "You should have warned us, you know. You frightened Kaylee, I'm sure she's imagining dire things. Hush, don't say anything."
Kaylee brought the tea tray soon. She looked apprehensively between them.
"He isn't hurt, mei mei. He just foolishly…" Inara glared at him. "Decided not to warn us before performing surgery on himself."
"Told Mal." Simon protested weakly.
"Don't talk." Inara glared more. "You think telling Mal makes it all better? What if you'd had a seizure? Or worse?"
"Book watched me." Simon mouthed. "Thought it would be best."
"Didn't think at all is more like it." Inara blew out a frustrated breath. "Give me that thing."
Simon handed over the scanner. He was forcibly reminded of his boss during his first hospital rotation. He'd learned more from that dragonlike woman than from any other senior doctor. She had pointed him to his own speciality.
Inara imaged her own face and showed him the results.
Simply, they made his recent surgery look pitifully minor. This work must have been done repeatedly most of her life to leave so much evidence.
"Thought you were born that way." He quipped.
Inara smiled tightly. "I was." She deactivated the scanner and stowed it away. "A Companion Trainee is molded and tweaked into an ideal. I'm rather older than I look."
"Oh."
Inara turned back to Kaylee. "Don't worry. He's doing fine. Give him a couple of days and he'll be all better. He just won't ever look the same again. Go on, I'll take care of him."
"Time to stretch." James said after a very long time.
Santha couldn't hold in a sob as she moved. One arm gave way entirely. She whimpered as she fell. He caught her shoulder before it made contact with his leg.
James rubbed her shoulder where he held it.
"Sorry, didn't realize I wasn't the only one in pain." He muttered.
Santha nodded, not trusting her voice. Despite her small outburst, the pain was minimal. The first movements after so much strained inactivity had been the worst.
"I got all the bittiest ones done." He let his hands drop and she felt him mentally push her away.
Santha nodded. "The essential ones that change the shape of my face." She crawled away from him in the tiny space. She sat curled up comfortably in order to give him room to stretch.
James licked his lips and flexed his fingers.
Santha suddenly noticed something she had only noted subconsciously before. James was still aroused. She knew it easily, even without peeking at his crotch, which she did now.
He had been secreting the more powerful than usual pheromones that signaled arousal since… before she had exited her trance. Possibly since they had first awoken.
"May I offer similar assistance?" Santha asked. Perhaps he needed her to make the first move.
James touched his head. "Huh?"
"Not plaiting your hair, restorative muscular manipulation." She watched him expectantly.
His blank expression did not leave. Santha raised her eyebrows and wiggled her fingers. "Massage?"
"Oh, ah, no… I… That is…" He trailed off. "I'll be fine if I just rest."
Doubtful. River's brain began silently. She nodded anyway and was shocked by the relief flowing off of him in waves. He didn't want her to touch him. He meant what he'd said.
It was endearing, truly. He was determined to delay…
Perhaps new variables should be factored into her equations. She hadn't considered his willpower, nor the possibility that he would make a concentrated effort to avoid touching her.
Santha moved so she was lying flat on her back. She modestly arranged the blanket to cover her knees as they tucked into her chest. Surprisingly comfortable, she decided.
James chuckled and Santha glanced over inquiringly.
He was moving, arranging himself on his side in a pose that lessened the noticeablity of his erection. Very considerate.
She decided not to mention it.
"Almost comfortable." She announced, stretching her arms to the ceiling.
"Glad to hear it." James said, grinning back. "Cause it looks mighty funny." The last two words came out sounding strained.
Santha received a clearly projected image of what her position would mean in terms of sex if they had more room. Disconcerted, she folded her legs into lotus position against the wall. "Better?"
"Maybe." He shifted again. "Did you have a nightmare?"
Santha blinked at him, uncomprehending.
"I mean when you woke up all gaspy?" He said.
Santha sighed. "No." She frowned.
How could she explain? Not only what she'd been doing, but the plan that was forming in the back left-hand quarter of her brain.
She closed her eyes. This plan took some considering. She would run the numbers after she was done considering the probabilities associated with her physical relationship with her cellmate.
"Hey. You sleeping again?" He asked.
"No." She repeated. "I wasn't sleeping before." She paused, the correct words surfacing. "I was doing creepifying reader things."
"Oh." His eyes widened as he processed the implications. "OH." He repeated. "Anything useful?"
Santha nodded. "Yes." She added aloud in case he wasn't watching.
"You doing them things now?"
Santha heard him shift again. He was worried she had knowledge of his physical state.
"No." Not exactly a lie, but misleading as far as the information he was hoping to acquire. Santha's calculations slowed, displaying potential results.
James relaxed, relieved.
Santha let him believe she was innocent enough not to notice what he didn't want her to see.
As intensely as he was trying, the probability could be as high as forty eight percent that she would leave this compartment as virginal as when she'd entered it. What an amusing concept.