Note: As JuliaAurelia pointed out, Pennsylvania actually isn't boring! I drove through there a few years ago and I personally really liked it (though I am a fan of mountain and forest scenery). But for the sake of the story, let's have Ari and Sam call it boring, yeah? ;) And thanks to everyone reading and reviewing; you really know how to make this author's day!
(Oh, and yes, I realize Alexander Pierce is dead—but the Winter Soldier doesn't know that!)
They all gathered the next morning at 6 a.m. Ari had woken up from her restless sleep at 4 a.m. to pack all their belongings and to check out of the hotel. "We could leave some of our stuff," she said, "but we might be gone for a few days—and that leaves us vulnerable to people breaking in and stealing our things. It could even be the hotel staff, if they know we'll be gone for a few days." They didn't have much so packing didn't take long but then he washed up while she went and grabbed some breakfast and then she showered while he ate and then they set off.
Ari looked tired, dark shadows under her eyes, and she had swept her hair into a messy French braid because she couldn't even be bothered to brush it. She'd worn all black, slim-fit black pants, black sneakers, and a black long-sleeved shirt. He'd looked at her outfit and raised an eyebrow and she'd defensively said, "What? Wearing all black is what people do on these types of occasions, right?"
"I didn't say anything," he said mildly. He himself was wearing all-black. He wished he had his combat gear but he'd stupidly left it behind at Ari's house. Instead, he wore his combat boots, black skinny-type of jeans, and a black t-shirt with a leather jacket on top. Definitely not as good as his combat gear, which had included armored and protected pants and vest, but it was still better than wearing khaki shorts and a Hawaiian print t-shirt. Which was what Ari had suggested as a half-hearted joke.
"You didn't sleep well," she observed, parking in Steve's driveway and looking at him.
"Neither did you," he countered. She fell silent and he couldn't help but wonder what had plagued her at night. Had it been thoughts about Dani? Or worries about breaking into HYDRA? The Winter Soldier's nightmares had been a mix of breaking into HYDRA, old memories of being Bucky Barnes, Steve falling out of a helicarrier while Alex Madden crouched nearby and laughed, leaning over to push him, the Winter Soldier, out of the helicarrier too—and then a falling feeling as he fell, icy wind whipping past his face. Heartbeat muffled in his ears. Whistling noises. A slate-gray sky. His own scream. And then excruciating pain.
He'd tossed and turned all night due to his strange nightmares and he felt worse for the wear now. Out of all nights to not get a good night's sleep…he had to pick the one the day before they attacked HYDRA.
A large black Hummer-looking type of vehicle crept down the street and smoothly parked in Steve's driveway next to them. Its windows were tinted, even the front windows. Ari and the Winter Soldier stepped out of her car at the same time that Natasha stepped out of the black Hummer and smiled at them in her slow, small way that revealed absolutely nothing about herself. The woman truly was a mystery. "Hey, you two."
Ari raised an eyebrow and nodded to the tinted front windows. "Pretty sure that's illegal," she said.
"This is Washington D.C.," said Natasha. "Every politician owns a car like this. Trust me, it may be the place where laws are made but more laws are broken here than possibly any other place in the whole country."
"That's reassuring," murmured Ari, nervously twirling the end of her braid.
"Nice braid," said Natasha noticing.
"Really?" asked Ari in surprise, thinking Natasha was making fun of her because it was loose and messy.
"It's stylishly messy," she said.
The Winter Soldier was bored by this girly talk so he cleared his throat and said, "Let's go inside," and strode off without waiting to see if either woman followed him. He opened the door (which the significance of was lost on him…but generally Steve kept all his doors locked tight. He left it unlocked ever since the Winter Solder had returned, just in case Bucky needed to come over at any time for any reason). The lights were all on and Steve walked down the stairs, carrying a backpack slung over one arm and his should in the other arm. The Winter Soldier stared at the shield and felt frozen for a moment, thrown back to the moment…
"I won't fight you." Steve dropped his shield and the Winter Soldier watched it glint in the firelights as it slid through the bars and fell to earth, the blue and red shining for a moment—and then it was gone. Steve looked at him with somber blue eyes. "You're my friend."
"Whoa, Bucky, you okay?" asked Steve.
The Winter Soldier rubbed his flesh arm and turned away. "I'm fine." He felt embarrassed for some reason—and then he whirled around. "Why did…on the helicarrier…how were you sure I wouldn't kill you?"
"I wasn't," said Steve simply.
"So you just—you were just going to let me kill you?" he spluttered, clenching his fists. Was everyone around him some sort of selfless and suicidal maniac?
"I've already lived longer than I should have," said Steve quietly. "I should have died during the war. So should have you. I got a second chance at life—but I didn't really have anyone to live for. But still I did my duty to my country, and to the world. But I wouldn't mind being taken out, not if it was for a good cause. And you're a good cause. You've always been a good cause."
"But you'd be dead," said the Winter Soldier numbly. "How would that help me?"
Steve shrugged. "At that moment—I didn't think you'd ever snap out of it. So I thought, if I'm going to die…I won't die fighting my best friend. Whether he remembers me or not."
The front door opened and Ari poked her head in curiously. "Are you two coming? Sam just got here."
"Let's go," said Steve, leading the way out. Sam had pulled up on a motorcycle and said, "Sorry I'm late—but you know, beauty sleep and all that." Sam was dressed in the same type of battle gear that the Winter Soldier had fought him in a few weeks ago. Steve was wearing his uniform too but it was the first uniform, the more modern one, not the one from the helicarrier. Natasha wasn't wearing her uniform but she wore all black clothes like Ari, though the Winter Soldier didn't doubt that Natasha's clothes hid all sorts of weapons in them. Speaking of which—he'd have to teach Ari a little bit about weapons, if even for a little while. He couldn't send a civilian in with them blind.
Sam left his motorcycle parked in Steve's backyard so no one came along and stole it and then they call clambered into the car. The Winter Soldier hesitated, wondering where he was going to sit, but Natasha immediately called, "Shotgun," earning a mock-glare from Sam and climbed into the passenger seat. Sam crawled into the farthest seat at the back so the Winter Soldier supposed he was sitting next to Ari. Steve grabbed Ari's hand and helped her step up into the very high car before going around and sitting in the driver's seat. It was almost as if Steve had done it without thinking—like being chivalrous was his second nature. The Winter Soldier would never have even thought about helping Ari into the car. He was thinking so hard about this that he got into the car slowly and Natasha called, "Quickly, Barnes—unless you want another seventy years to pass before we get there?"
"Natasha," Steve reprimanded and Natasha laughed. The Winter Soldier felt his face get hot but he silently slammed the door shut and then they backed out of the driveway, gliding smoothly through the streets. The Hummer certainly was a smooth ride.
"The last time I was in a car near this guy," announced Sam, poking the Winter Soldier in the shoulder, "he ripped out my steering wheel."
The Winter Soldier had stiffened at being poked but before he could decide how to react, he heard a choking noise and turned to see Ari stuffing her fist into her mouth, bent over laughing. Natasha and Steve both glanced back at her laughing and ended up laughing themselves because her laughter was contagious.
"You ripped out a steering wheel?" she laughed, trying to cover her mouth. "Oh my god—why is the image of that so funny? Soldier!"
"It wasn't funny when I was the one driving," grumbled Sam and Ari started laughing even harder at that.
Completely not the reaction the Winter Soldier had expected and he finally decided that he'd never be able to fully guess Ari's reactions. Natasha reached over and turned on the radio to very soft, slow, crooning jazz. The Winter Soldier cringed slightly and said, "I hate this type of music."
"Would you prefer hard rock?" asked Natasha sarcastically.
"I like dancing music," he said, thinking for a moment. "Like…like swing."
"Sorry, no swing available," said Natasha. "I can, however, introduce you to the delights of modern music." She switched the station and a bubblegum-y female voice blared through the speakers, accompanied by what sounded like two robots screaming in pain. The Winter Soldier jerked back, disgusted, and Natasha turned and grinned at him, auburn hair falling over her shoulder. "Welcome to dubstep," she said.
"It sounds like garbage cans vomiting," he finally said, trying to come up with an accurate description.
"Pretty accurate, if we're being honest," said Steve. "Let's not listen to that." He switched it to a mellower station where a quiet alternative song was playing.
"Soldier," Ari whispered suddenly and he looked over to find her staring at him with what looked like stars in her eyes. Her face had lit up and she recklessly grabbed his cybernetic hand, seemingly forgetting that he didn't like to be touched. He was so startled by her actions and expressions that he didn't even pull away, merely stared at her in alarm.
"What?" he asked in a low voice.
"You said you don't like smooth jazz," she whispered excitedly. "And you said you like swing music! Did HYDRA let you listen to music?"
"No," he said confusedly—and then he froze as he realized what she was implying. HYDRA had never let him listen to music. Then how…would he have known that he liked swing music?
"Because Bucky Barnes liked swing music!" said Ari. "Your thoughts became continuous with Bucky's thoughts for a moment!" She squeezed his hand and he couldn't help but look down at her pale flesh hand holding his silver hand. She was holding his hand as if she couldn't feel any difference. He could feel her skin—his arm was advanced enough that he could feel sensation in it the same as his flesh hand, which was needed to accurate use of the arm. But no one had ever touched him like this. No one had ever touched his cybernetic hand so casually or so gently. Even the scientists at HYDRA had seemed a little uneasy around his arm. He didn't think he'd ever felt normal human touch like this…ever.
She noticed him staring at their hands and she quickly pulled her hands away. "Oh—sorry," she said, thinking he was uncomfortable with her touch. He didn't know how to tell her that…for the first time ever…he wasn't and he didn't mind her holding his hand. He'd never known how comforting human touch could be. But he couldn't possibly say things like that so he nodded and said, in a low voice, "It happened once before. I…I remembered that I hate burgers. Bucky Barnes hated burgers."
"Who," said Sam, poking his head between them, "the hell hates burgers?"
"Me," said the Winter Soldier, irritated that Sam had intruded upon this private conversation. It wasn't really private, since everyone in the car could hear it, but Steve and Natasha had had enough sense to pretend like they couldn't hear and had been chit-chatting aimlessly about the weather or something.
The next two hours passed in vague silence. Sam, Steve, and Natasha talked about irrelevant nothings and the Winter Soldier mostly listened. Ari listened at first but then she leaned her head against her window and stared at the passing scenery, seemingly lost in her own world. He wondered what she was thinking. Did she feel out of place? The Winter Soldier felt out of place at most moments of his life, but he at least felt at home with a crew of people who knew how to fight. Who knew what it meant to engage in these kinds of missions.
He leaned forward then and muttered something into Steve's ear. Steve looked at him, nodded once, and said, "In an hour or so, okay?"
"What?" asked Natasha.
"You'll see," he replied.
It would take them about five to six hours to get to where they needed to go, according to Natasha, who had looked up the decoded coordinates on her phone. "It's surrounded by mountains," she said, frowning at her phone. "I thought it was on the border—but it's not, it's further in." She looked up at Steve suddenly and asked, "Have you heard back from Stark yet?"
"No," said Steve briskly, "and I'm not sure I want to."
"Oh, come on, Steve," said Natasha. "He did help you remake your shield, you know. He's a good guy. Arrogant, sure, a bit weird, yeah. But he's a good guy."
"He thinks too much of himself and not enough of others," said Steve. "He's reckless."
"A little bit of fun never hurt anyone," smiled Natasha.
"Until it does," muttered Steve and her smile dropped off her face.
"When am I going to meet the rest of the Avengers?" asked Sam. "Come on—Iron Man? That's insane. The Hulk? Thor?"
"I can introduce you to Tony," said Natasha. "Somehow I feel like you'd get along. As for Dr. Banner…well, he's not very easy to find. He's best left in peace. And Thor? Listen, I like Thor as much as the rest of you, he's a great guy—but if the Asgardians never come back to Earth, it'll be way too soon for me. I've had enough of aliens. First with New Mexico, then with New York…"
"What happened in New Mexico?" asked Sam.
"Oh, Loki trying to destroy stuff, as usual," said Natasha lightly. "And Thor—that was the first time he came down to Earth. Literally. Apparently the guy had a pretty swelled head…which Dr. Jane Foster managed to deflate."
"How do you know all this?" Sam asked curiously.
"I work for SHIELD," said Natasha. She paused and then slowly said, "Or…I did work for SHIELD…before SHIELD was exposed as HYDRA."
"Who's Dr. Foster?" Ari suddenly piped up. "Is she a medical doctor?" Perhaps being a nurse, her curiosity has been piqued.
Natasha chuckled. "No. She's an astrophysicist. Brilliant woman, actually, puts me to shame—which I can't say for many people. She works for SHIELD now. Or…yeah, she did work for SHIELD… I'm actually not sure where she is now. Maybe she's with Thor."
"With Thor?" asked Ari blankly.
"They kind of had a romance going on," explained Natasha.
"Nice," said Sam. "Nabbing a Norse god? Doc's gotta have some wicked game, I'm thinking."
The car fell back into silence for a while and the Winter Soldier rested his head against his window and watched the world rush past him in a blur. Green forests on either side of the highway, slate gray skies that looked a little stormy (or was that the window tint?) and mountains rising in the very far horizon like small shadows. He was feeling a bit anxious about the oncoming fight that was sure to be brutal and dangerous…but if he was being honest with himself, a part of him was glad to get back into the game. This was all he knew how to do and he was good at it. He was good at fighting and being good at it had made him happy in the past—or as close to true happiness his bland, watered-down, emotionless "happy" had been. He hadn't fought anyone except for Alex Madden in a long time and Alex Madden didn't count because he'd been an unskilled weakling. The Winter Soldier's muscles ached in ways different than the aches his illness had given him. He yearned to stretch his legs and dive back into combat, ducking, weaving, and spinning. He wasn't quite aware of it himself but whenever he'd fought with a group, his fellow HYDRA strike agents had watched him in admiration and fear out of the corners of their eyes. Watching the Winter Soldier fight was a beautiful thing (when they weren't the targets). He moved as fluidly as water, as quickly as a striking snake, graceful and lithe as a large jungle cat. He was as sure-footed as he was sure-handed and it seemed as if his weapons were merely extensions of his flesh-and-blood body, that was how expertly he wielded them. A true super-soldier.
The Winter Soldier wasn't aware how much time had passed but Steve was suddenly taking an lone exit devoid of any other drivers and quickly turned off onto a smaller, rougher road that trundled along for ten minutes before it stopped in a gravel-y parking lot that looked largely abandoned and had wooden park benches and tables in the grass around it.
Natasha had been leaning back in her seat, arms crossed, eyes closed. She looked asleep but the Winter Soldier wouldn't have put it past her to still be awake. Sure enough, when they stopped her eyes immediately opened and she asked, "Where are we?"
"Random rest stop," said Steve. "Bucky wanted us to teach Ari a few things about self defense and fighting."
"What?" asked Ari in horror, sitting up upright from her slumped position she'd held for a while. "No!" She looked at the Soldier and hissed, "What are you doing?"
"You can't walk into HYDRA blind," he said, annoyed.
"Yes, I can!" she said.
Steve turned around in his seat and calmly asked, "Would you let an amateur take care of a patient without giving them some lessons beforehand?"
"No," said Ari, looking flustered, "but lives would be at stake!"
Steve raised an eyebrow. "And they're not here?"
"I—I can't fight, okay?" she said. "I'm not a fighter! I've never been in a fight before in my life!"
The Winter Soldier could tell.
"Alright, well, I'm going to sleep," said Natasha. "Sam's already asleep. You two teach her to shoot a gun or something and then wake me up when you get done." She settled back into her seat and closed her eyes.
The Winter Soldier, Ari, and Steve all got out of the car and then Ari crossed her arms, looking angry but more embarrassed. "Okay. What now?"
"We should teach her just the basics of self-defense," said Steve. "You know—knee to the ground, step to the side, knee into the back of their knees, twist arm…all that stuff."
"Uh…" Suddenly the Winter Soldier wasn't sure if he wanted to do this. It would feel a little awkward, mock-attacking his nurse. So he stepped back and said, "You do this part," and leaned against a bench to watch.
Ari was a surprisingly fast learner and she managed to lock down all of the skills Steve taught her. The Winter Soldier suspected it was because she was a nurse and had probably had to deal with rough or violent patients before; the firm way she'd held him when she bathed him (oh, how his face burned at the memory, even days later) told him as much. Of course, her movies didn't really work on Steve—a 115 pound young woman (or close enough) wasn't really a match for a 200 pound super-soldier—and he did look a little odd mock-attacking her…but she mastered the techniques well enough that they would work on an average man or woman with regular human strength.
After about 30 minutes of this, Steve stepped back and said, "Good job," in an impressed tone. "I've never seen anyone master those techniques so quickly. You have a great memory and quick reflexes."
"You can thank nursing school for that," she joked. "I'd have never passed if I didn't have those."
"Now all you need to know is how to shoot a gun," said Steve.
Ari paled slightly and her voice took on a wavery tone. "Do I have to?" she said, sounding a bit like a petulant child. "I just—I don't know—I save lives, I don't take them!"
"These aren't good people," said Steve seriously. "They will try to kill us all. They planned to kill millions of people on Earth just a few weeks ago. They've been torturing and using Bucky for decades. He's your patient, right? Well, think about that. Think about what they've done to your patient." The Winter Soldier shifted uncomfortably but let Steve keep talking. "Think about how they tortured him. Think about how they wiped his memories. Think about how they made him forget himself and spill innocent blood. And he's always going to feel guilty about that, even though it's not his fault at all. They've forced this weight and guilt onto him. How does that make you feel?"
"Like killing them," whispered Ari.
"Exactly," said Steve grimly. "Listen. I don't like killing anyone. Killing is wrong—we all know this. But I hate bullies and that's what these people are, magnified a hundred thousand times. They're monsters and they create—" He pause and the Winter Soldier felt as if a shard of ice had stabbed him in the gut. Had Steve been about to say "monsters"? Had he been about to call the Winter Soldier a monster? The Winter Soldier clenched his jaw and tried to ask himself why he even gave a damn if Steve called him a monster. He was a monster, was he not? So why did it even matter? Captain Liberty, Justice, and Freedom for All was only being honest, as he always was.
"Anyway," said Steve. "They do horrible things to innocent people. Killing is unavoidable, even if it's tragic. And I'd rather have a HYDRA agent killed than an innocent person like you. So yeah, you need to know how to shoot a gun. Got it?" His voice rang with authority.
"Got it," muttered Ari, still looking uneasy at the thought of wielding a gun.
"Bucky?" asked Steve, looking at him. "You want to take this one?"
The Winter Soldier had been all set to say "yes"—but a peculiar feeling overcame him at this moment as he stared at Ari, slightly open-mouthed. He didn't know what to say. It had been his idea to teach Ari how to defend herself and he was probably more well-versed in how to shoot a gun, though Steve obviously knew how to shoot a gun as well. But the Winter Soldier was the arms expert here. By all reason and rights, it should have been him teaching her how to…
Kill.
Because that's what guns did. They killed. They took lives. And if Ari used a gun—she would take a life. And while the Winter Soldier would obviously have preferred her to take a life rather than have her own life taken…he didn't want it to be by his hand. He'd already killed enough innocents (and some not-so-innocent people…but then, who was he to judge who deserved to live and die?). He didn't want to teach Ari how to shoot a gun—at least not by his hands. If he did, her killing power would come from him. If she took a life, it would be because of what he taught her. He would have corrupted another innocent person.
It didn't seem to make much sense even in his own head but he knew that he didn't want to teach Ari how to shoot a gun. Steve could do that. "I feel sort of sick," he said in a flat voice. "You can handle this." And he stalked off to get back into the Hummer, leaving Ari and Steve staring after him, clearly puzzled. Ari made as if to go after the Winter Soldier but Steve pulled her back and began to show her how to shoot a gun, a simple handgun. The Winter Soldier closed his eyes and looked away from the window. He wanted her to be able to defend herself but he didn't want to see this. It would remind him of all the harm he'd ever caused. Thirty minutes and several deafening shots later, Ari clambered into the car, looking sweaty and disheveled. Steve got into the car and Natasha's eyes immediately opened, like a dangerous and lazy cat. "You all done? How did Ari do?"
"Not bad," said Steve, sounding impressed again, backing out of the rest stop and heading back to the main highway. "You caught on pretty quickly. Are you sure you've never shot a gun before?"
"I may have taken a class when I was in high school," she said, smiling in an embarrassed sort of way. "I never went back because it was too…violent for me."
Natasha chuckled slowly. "You may be on the wrong adventure, sweetie."
"I'm here for Soldier," Ari said defiantly. "That's it. Okay? I don't abandon my patients."
The Winter Soldier wondered if this had anything to do with the fact that—whether intentionally or unintentionally—Ari's best friend and parents had abandoned her and left her alone in the world. He wondered if this had anything to do with why she'd taken care of him. Yes, she was a nurse, so she took care of people—but her loyalty and determination to keep him safe made him wonder how much if it was her own emotions manifesting in her treatment of him. How many times had she wanted someone to take care of her? Thinking about this made the Winter Soldier feel slightly sorry for her and incredibly uncomfortable so he tried to divert his thoughts by thinking about all the different ways he could confront the agents and scientists at the HYDRA facility.
Who would he even meet there? He hoped it was Alexander Pierce. He had some pent-up rage he needed to take out on that bastard. He wouldn't even waste time talking to him, demanding to know why he'd used him this way. He would simply rip his heart out of his chest and be done with it. He'd done it once before, buried his cybernetic hand into someone's chest and ripped their beating heart out. Only once, when HYDRA had wanted to viciously kill the man in front of his screaming wife, who had the answers to some questions they had. He'd killed her too, after she'd given the answers, though he'd shot her in the head.
The scenery around them got wilder and more isolated the further they traveled. It was actually further than Natasha's phone had estimated. They took an exit off the highway and traveled on a road that wound through mountains, encountering no one else along their way. The Winter Soldier wondered if that was normal or if HYDRA had somehow made that happen. They were capable of quite a lot.
They sat in silence—Sam had woken up by now but he didn't talk, which was somewhat surprising for him—and stared out the windows as Steve drove further and further on. Another hour passed and then Steve branched off onto an even smaller road that was gravelly and broken-up.
"Thank god for Hummers," muttered Natasha as they jerked over the terrible road, bouncing up and down. A few miles down the road Steve slowed to a stop and then parked. "We're here," he said.
"Where's…the building?" asked Ari.
"Two miles down the road," said Steve. "We can't just drive up to HYDRA's door and knock and say hello." He turned around to relay the plan and he had on his serious Captain America face then, the one that meant business and didn't tolerate any funny business. "Okay, this is how it's going to go down. Natasha, Sam, and I are going to head in first—see what kind of security they have, if there's any preliminary people we need to take out. Then, when the coast is clear, Sam will fly back to you two and fetch you."
"Fly?" demanded Ari. "What?"
"I got wings, girl," said Sam, smiling. "Watch and see."
Ari blinked, obviously lost.
"Why do I have to stay behind?" growled the Winter Soldier. He wasn't a damn child and he wouldn't let them treat him like one. This was humiliating and he wouldn't stand for it. Besides, he was much stronger than Black Widow and Falcon combined. It made no sense for him to stay behind—it would make more sense for one of them to stay with Ari. "I'm coming with you."
"Bucky, no," said Steve firmly. The Winter Soldier furiously opened his mouth to protest but Steve held up his hand to stop him and said, "I know what you're thinking. That you're stronger, faster, you know HYDRA better. That's true. But we don't know what's waiting for us and you're the most valuable person here. This whole mission will be a waste if you get taken out in the first ten minutes just because we walked in with you blind, without doing any recon."
"Soldier, it makes sense," said Ari. "We know you're a better fighter. But we shouldn't take any risks. You shouldn't risk your memories just to…"
"To what?" he demanded.
"Show off," she said pointedly and he was struck silent by the truth of her words. He didn't want to admit it, but he was trying to show off, trying to show that he was just as good. But would it be worth it, if he ended up getting hurt and never getting his memories back or finding out any truths?
"We'll be gone an hour max," said Steve. "It shouldn't take long to get there and check things out. Then we'll get back to you, alright? And Bucky?" He looked the Winter Soldier straight in the eyes. "If we don't come back…don't come in for us. Get away and get away fast. You have a civilian with you and you'll find another way to get answers. I'm counting on you. Got it?"
It was the last thing the Winter Soldier felt like doing, but he muttered, "Got it." The thought of Steve counting on him made him feel oddly important inside, but also slightly terrified of messing up and losing his best friend's faith in him. As he and Steve nodded at each other, Steve smiled slightly and the Winter Soldier felt like Bucky Barnes for a moment; in sync with Steve Rogers, on the same wavelength, counting on each other. He felt like Bucky and the words were almost on his tongue—"I'm with you till the end of the line"—but he stopped himself. It felt too heavy for the moment.
Steve, Natasha, and Sam got out of the car and suited up. "Don't look, boys," said Natasha while she changed in the back and every male studiously kept his gaze forward without daring to turn their heads an inch. Ari grinned at their statue-still poses. "Gentlemen, the whole lot of you," she teased.
"Well, two of us do come from a different era," said Steve, grinning, and then they took off. Steve and Natasha took off running and Sam followed suit for a moment—before the black contraption strapped to his back suddenly and effortlessly expanded into huge wings. He took a running leap and then flew into the air, soaring like an eagle, and Ari's jaw fell. "He has wings," she said weakly. "Iron Man is one thing—but he has wings!"
"I ripped one off in our last fight," remembered the Winter Soldier.
"Soldier, you need to control your temper," teased Ari. "Ripping out steering wheels, wings—what is this?"
The Winter Soldier awkwardly smiled. "I was…brainwashed?" and Ari laughed. They sat in silence for a few minutes and then Ari quietly asked, "Are you scared?"
He looked at her in surprise. "Of fighting? No."
"No…of learning about everything that was done to you. Everything they made you did."
The Winter Soldier's stomach clenched. "Yes," he said truthfully. "Are you scared?"
"Yes," she whispered.
"Of what?" he asked, thinking that she was talking about the fighting—but she looked at him and he realized with shock that her face was pale and she actually did look scared.
"I'm scared for you," she said. "What if they—what if they—what if they capture you again and—and—" She didn't seem able to finish her sentence and took a deep breath. He realized that she was afraid HYDRA would somehow manage to re-capture him and wipe his memories again, resetting him back to zero. Turn him back into the icy Winter Soldier.
"I would have failed you," she said numbly. "I'm leading my patient into danger. You can get hurt. They could kill you. They could capture you. And if they did—if they did—I would never forgive myself. I would never…ever… I would never be able to live with myself if they got their hands on you and tortured you again. I—"
"Ari," interrupted the Winter Soldier, cutting off her babbling. "Listen. If they capture me…I'll kill myself before they do anything to me—"
"You think that makes me feel better?" she asked, her voice starting to sound a little wheezy, as if she couldn't breathe. "That you would have to commit suicide?"
"LISTEN," he said loudly. "That's just a…last resort. But they won't. They won't get their hands on me. I won't let them," he said, his voice turning ugly. "I'll kill every last one of them before they can. They're never going to control anyone ever again. And you…" He ran his hand awkwardly through his hair, trying to sound casual. "You're a great nurse. I could barely speak when I met you—"
"You can barely speak now, Mr. That Sucks," said Ari in a shaky voice, laughing slightly despite herself.
"Shut up," he said but she knew he wasn't being serious.
They fell back into silence and both stared out their windows, both equally anxious in their own ways. Ari was jittery, tapping her fingers against her thigh, jiggling her leg as fast as she could, biting her lip, constantly moving. The Winter Soldier froze, staring out the window. His anxiety was building and it made him feel locked into place, his muscles taut with tension, as if one wrong cue and he would explode into action and destroy everything in sight.
The minutes ticked by and soon an hour had passed. The Winter Soldier and Ari exchanged a glance but they didn't say anything. The minutes ticked by, slow as molasses and as quick as a hummingbird's wings all at the same time, and then another half hour had gone by and the Winter Soldier felt antsy.
"It's probably nothing," said Ari slowly. "I mean, holding them to exactly one hour would be sort of…"
"Right," he agreed, not sure what he was agreeing to. He looked out the window and tried not to panic. Where was Steve? Where were Natasha and Sam? Half an hour late wasn't too bad, Ari was right—there could be a million plausible, normal explanations for why they were only a half hour late—but he couldn't help but feel nervous. Steve wouldn't leave him hanging, so…
The hours ticked by and he kept looking at the wristwatch on his hand that Ari had given him. A minute passed. Then another. Then another. Ari seemed to be getting more and more jittery too, though she didn't speak. A worried frown was on her face and she was leaning forward, intently staring down the road as if to catch a sudden glimpse of Sam swooping at them. When exactly another half hour had passed, the Winter Soldier had to speak. "Something is wrong," he said darkly.
"I know," said Ari, looking upset. "Someone should have come by now." She looked at the Winter Soldier and swallowed. "Steve said to leave right away if they didn't come back."
"Right."
"He said he was counting on you to escape safely."
"Right."
Ari looked at him and he looked at Ari and for a moment they stared at each other and the Winter Soldier felt that feeling again—the feeling that he was somehow on the same wavelength as her—and she quickly asked, "We're not going to leave them, are we?"
"Hell no," he said quickly.
"Good," she said. "Let's go." And the Winter Soldier felt an immense weight lift off his chest. He'd been afraid Ari might shock him and actually suggest leaving, but no, she had behaved in typical Ari fashion and went straight for saving people over saving herself. It was starting to be one of the best things he liked about her, as much as it also irritated him.
They scrambled out of the car and he opened the trunk, surveying the weapons in the back. He grabbed a small bullet-proof vest and small combat pants (they were exactly Ari's size and no one here was as slender or petite as her, so he suspected that Natasha had specifically picked them up for her…which was nice of her, he grudgingly admitted) and tossed them at her, saying, "Suit up."
"Turn around," said Ari and he impatiently turned around, not even really noticing what she was saying. He had far more important things on his mind than to be as lecherous as to stare at Ari while she was changing. That sort of thing didn't interest him at all. She quickly changed and then he turned around and thrust a pistol and a dagger at her. "Strap these two to your belt," he commanded. When she did, he told her to tie her hair up and then he handed her black fingerless gloves that had silver spikes on the knuckles. "Use this as viciously as you can," he said. "The good thing is that they don't require much skill. Just go wild with them."
"I can do that," said Ari grimly.
He found some black combat fatigues his size as well and quickly stripped and changed into them, not even bothering to tell Ari to look away. Why would he? She was his nurse and she'd seen it all anyway—and she didn't seem to care. He pulled on a pair of black fingerless gloves himself and began strapping himself with the plethora of weapons he found in the back. Taking Ari's pony, he tied his hair back and then slammed the trunk shut, feeling odd. It had been weeks since he'd been in combat and yet he suddenly felt at home in this type of get-up again. This was what he was used to, what he had "grown up" with.
"Let's go," he said and he stalked off down the road, Ari hurrying to keep pace with him. They kept to the side of the road and stayed silent, not sure if they would be ambushed by anyone. The Winter Soldier felt impatient and kept wanting to break into a run—heavens knew it wouldn't tire him—but he knew Ari wouldn't be able to keep up with him. He also considered for a moment carrying her and running (she hardly weighed anything) but he didn't think Ari would agree to it so he settled for extremely fast fast-walking while she practically jogged to keep up. Too bad for her, this was as slow as he was willing to go. Steve was in trouble, he could feel it, and he needed to get inside HYDRA and figure out what could have gone so horribly wrong to stop Captain America from returning to his best friend.
Oh, and Natasha and Sam were also in trouble too. He'd have to help them as well, since they were helping him. Though they were an afterthought to him. He wouldn't hesitate to sacrifice them if it meant saving Steve.
They walked for about fifteen minutes in pure silence and then they rounded a corner to see a two-story gray building with a ten-foot tall cement wall surrounding it. Part of the wall was a mesh gate which was…currently open. The Winter Soldier motioned for Ari to stay silent and covert and they crept towards the gate, sticking to the trees and then sticking to the cement wall. They inched towards the gate and he stepped inside, looking around very quickly to assess all points of the situation. He would have noticed if anyone were hiding around ready to attack…and there was no one. He narrowed his eyes, instantly suspicious. Something wasn't right. "Why isn't anyone around?" he murmured to himself, looking around warily.
"Maybe Steve and the rest got rid of them," said Ari very quietly.
This was possible, true…but still, something felt wrong. But he couldn't just stand here and wait for it to come to him, so he gave one last cursory glance around the empty yard and then headed across, striding quickly, keeping his body ducked a bit low. Ari followed suit and then they were pressed up against the wall next to the entrance doors. He squinted and peered inside the tinted glass. An empty hallway, clean, devoid of any struggle…or any humans. He could have smashed his way in—it would have been quicker—but it also would have been like yelling, "WINTER IS COMING," (the Winter Soldier had been keeping up with his Game of Thrones reading) with a megaphone. He bent low and quickly picked the lock, noting that it was far too easy to pick. Either this was a trap…or HYDRA didn't think anyone was stupid enough to directly pick the lock on their front door.
The doors swung open silently and they made their way inside, moving slowly but quickly, eyes quickly checking every corner. He noted that Ari had good instincts for someone who'd never done this before—her eyes immediately scanned every corner of the hall and she looked like she had her ears cocked to hear the slightest sound. If trained properly, she could make a very good agent. She certainly had an aptitude for using guns and self-defense combat.
They rounded the corner and the Winter Soldier's suspicions heightened. Alarm bells began to sound in his head as they encountered yet another empty hallway. The lights were all on, the doors were all held ajar—revealing random offices and rooms with gurneys and trays of medical tools—but no one was around. The lack of dust and debris told the Winter Soldier that this place wasn't abandoned by any means…so then where was everyone? He could sense a trap somewhere but the problem was he didn't know where. He'd never bothered to figure out HYDRA's tricks before, always having been one of them, and now he had a feeling they'd pay the price. Even going back wasn't an option because he couldn't leave Steve and Ari would never agree.
They turned another corner to a much wider, much larger room that didn't lead anywhere in particular. The ground was inlaid with silver grooves in a grid pattern and so was the ceiling, the Winter Soldier noted. He frowned. What were these grooves?
"Keep moving," whispered Ari and he stepped forward onto the grooved floor, hesitantly—
Nothing happened. He walked forward cautiously, eyes scanning the entire room. A large, sleek flat screen TV hung on an opposite wall but it was dark. The walls of the room held several doors and he wondered which one to take. Which one would lead to Steve and the others…wherever they were?
"Soldier," called Ari from a few feet away. Her head was cocked and she was staring curiously at the ground of the wall opposite her. "Soldier, why are there so many wires going into the roof?"
He slowly turned and focused his gaze on what she was saying. There was a huge, thick bundle of wires (red, black, and copper) that were tied together every few feet and snaked along the floor until they split up. Half of them were nailed up the wall and vanished into the ceiling and half of them vanished into a hole cut neatly into the ground. He frowned, staring hard at the wires… Why was this bothering his mind so much? What was he missing? And for a long moment, he was mystified.
And then he looked down and up at the silver grooves that were laid in an identical grid pattern above and below them, forming squares large enough for a person to stand within their confines…
It suddenly hit him.
"ARI, COME HERE!" He lunged for her but before he could, there was a deafening thrumming and zinging sound and then he was staggering back, letting out a stream of filthy curses as he cradled his burned flesh hand and smelled the singed skin and hair around him and heard Ari's cries of shock and all he could see was golden, golden, golden.
The grids at his feet and on the roof formed some sort of track and in between each the lines now flowed thin lines and waves of crackling and hissing and brilliantly burning golden light very similar to electricity. They were set so closely together that he couldn't even through a dagger out of them. Four walls of these electrical lines boxed him in as if he were in a prison with four sides—except the walls and bars were made out of electricity, not metal. He could only shuffle around a bit but he couldn't run through the wall or even stick his hand through without completely burning and shocking himself to death.
Through the electric bars burning his gaze, he could see that Ari was locked in a similar cage a few feet away. "What kind of technology is this?" she shouted through the sound of the electricity at him. "I've never heard of electrical walls!"
I don't know. He mouthed the words but they wouldn't come out. He'd led Ari straight into a trap—and this was one trap even the Winter Soldier couldn't get himself out of.
"Are you okay?" she called to him. "I heard you cry out—did you get burned?"
Ever the nurse, she was. "I'm fine," he called. "You?"
"Yeah," she said after a pause. "Yeah."
Good. Because the Winter Soldier didn't know how much longer they'd be fine. They both stood there, waiting for something to happen, and they were rewarded by the TV screen across from both of them flickering to life to display the face of possibly one of the ugliest men the Winter Soldier had ever seen. He had a pale face, fleshy and overinflated pink lips, and a bulbous nose. The Winter Soldier didn't remember ever seeing him during his time at HYDRA before. He coughed, cleared his throat, and then smiled at both of them. "I'm glad to see these cages work."
The Winter Soldier and Ari were both silent. Ari, he wasn't sure why. But he was silent because he knew he had to get this part over with. The bad guys always had to give a gloating speech before they got down to business. He would know, he'd heard Agent Rumlow give one enough times in the last decade. He considered them pathetic, really—what was the need to use so many pointless words?—but he'd always kept his mouth shut about them.
"Good of you to join us again, Soldier," said the doughy-faced man and the Winter Soldier felt a prickle on his spine at the man's usage of Ari's nickname for him. But, of course, that was wrong—HYDRA had called him "Soldier" long before she had. He'd almost forgotten, because the name had taken on new meaning for him.
"Let her out," said the Winter Soldier, gesturing to Ari. "She has nothing to do with this."
"Ah, ah!" said the man. "All in good time, my friend. Now…why don't you tell me why you've come back to us today?"
The Winter Soldier remained silent and furiously glared at the man.
"Come now, my dear fellow, I have only a short amount of time to do this…before people who are not as pleasant as me decide to speak with you. You won't like that, I promise you."
The Winter Soldier opened his mouth and told the man exactly what he could do with his "lack of time", letting loose a sentence of language so foul that he could practically hear Ari's jaw hitting the floor. After he was done, the man in front of him distastefully looked at him, like the Winter Soldier was a disgusting piece of garbage on the ground and said, "Now, really, is that any way to treat someone who was being so civil to you? I won't ask you again, Soldier. Why are you here?"
The Winter Soldier couldn't tell them why he was here, because the second they knew what he was after, they'd destroy all his files and ruin everything for him. So he just shouted, "Where's Captain America, Black Widow, and Falcon?" in response, his rage mounting with every second he was trapped in this infernal electrical box. God, what he wouldn't give to have a machine gun and blast that TV to smithereens in seconds.
The man swallowed and looked a little angry now. "I thought I told you I wouldn't ask again. Fine. I told you wouldn't like this…but there you have it. You've brought this pain upon yourself, my dear fellow. Perhaps after you've had a nice dose, you'll be more willing to talk."
"Stop!" Ari shouted at the screen but it had already blinked out. She turned wildly to the Winter Soldier and hurriedly said, "Soldier—Soldier, no matter what they do, keep focus and don't tell them anything, okay!"
"I won't," he promised. He gritted his teeth and steeled his nerves for the torture that was coming very shortly. This would not be pleasant at all but he'd been tortured before; he could handle it. He would make himself handle it, for the sake of his own past and humanity. They both waited for a few agonizing seconds, wondering what would happen next—and then the doors to their right burst into and several heavily muscled men marched in, wearing black combat fatigues. The Winter Soldier expected them to come to his cage and grab him—
But they headed for Ari's cage. Her electric walls blinked out as whoever was controlling them turned them off and she took a step back, extremely pale-faced. Two huge men grabbed her by each arm and the Winter Soldier blinked, feeling slow and stupid and dizzy for a moment. He couldn't understand why they were taking Ari, when he was the one they were supposed to be torturing. And then it hit him like a truckload of bricks and he yelled, "STOP! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO TAKE ME!"
"Shut up, pretty boy," said one of the men, pointing a gun at him. "You're next. I see the Winter Soldier's gone soft, eh? All those stories I heard about you and what do I find? A weakling giving himself up for the girl. What a sad cliché."
"We're not a cliché," spat Ari. "Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? Typical muscle-headed, brainless—" One of the men holding her slapped her so hard her head snapped to the side and her cheek was left with a bright red handprint and the Winter Soldier couldn't help but wince.
"Look this way," said the man pointing the gun straight at his neck and then he pulled the trigger. The Winter Soldier expected a gun blast and then immense pain before a quick death—but instead all he felt was a tiny pinch in his neck. He slowly looked down to see a dart sticking out of his neck, tiny enough that it had flown through the electrical bars. Almost immediately he could feel his limbs begin to lose function, becoming numb and weak and limp, like spaghetti. He staggered back and the electrical bars around him clicked off just in time as he fell to the floor. Had they shut off a nanosecond too late, he would have fried himself to death just by falling.
But he could still feel and hear and see and he was still conscious. It was just that he could barely move. The man who'd had the gun grabbed him and hauled him up, supporting him. He dragged the limp Winter Soldier through a door and then propped him on a bench so the Winter Soldier could stare straight ahead.
"This is a paralyzer," the man said, smiling maliciously and clumsily patting the Winter Soldier's head in a mocking, degrading fashion. "You'll still be conscious and you can see and hear everything. You just won't be able to move or speak. You can close your eyes too, but I'd keep them open if I were you."
The Winter Soldier felt woozy—what did they have planned for him? He still didn't comprehend what was happening until he realized the wall only three feet opposite from him was made entirely of glass and the other two guards had dragged Ari in and sat her on a wooden chair, tying her to it. She glared defiantly at both of them and then she looked up and noticed the Winter Soldier sitting limply on his bench in the other room, staring at her. Her eyes widened with horror and she said, "I can take it, Soldier. Okay? Don't speak," and her words came as clear as day to him. The sheet of glass must have been very thin or perhaps there were holes or speakers somewhere.
It was clear that Ari had understood what was going but the Winter Soldier still felt a bit disoriented. It wasn't until a guard walked into Ari's room carrying a jingling metal bag, set the bag down, shut the door, and slid out a long metal pole…it wasn't until then that the Winter Soldier realized what was going to happen. And then he felt beyond stupid for not realizing before but more than feeling stupid, he felt intense horror. He should have seen this coming. He had worked for HYDRA. He knew what they were capable of. He had helped them do things like this before.
He should never have brought Ari here.
The guard turned and winked at the Winter Soldier. "I hope you enjoy watching your friend get tortured," he said and then he turned his back on the Winter Soldier to face Ari.
And then the screaming started.
And the Winter Soldier could only sit there and watch and listen.
On and on and on, it echoed in his head and made him want to take his cybernetic hand and rip his own heart out and rip his ears off. He wanted to rip Ari's heart out to stop her from going through this. He would have done it, too, had he been able to move. He closed his eyes but all he could hear were her screams.
Death would have been preferable.