Note: This has nothing to do with this story, but for anyone who's interested…I'm starting on a second Captain America 2 story! Can't quite tell you what it's about just yet, too early on, but I think I'll post the first chapter of that one the same day I post the last chapter of this one. Sniff. Bittersweet. So be on the lookout for that, eventually, if you want! BTW, this story isn't quite done yet…but we're almost there! So stick with me.
The Winter Soldier remembered a time when he would have easily sacrificed Ari for his memories and files. He remembered because it would have only been slightly over a week ago. He distinctly remembered convincing himself that he would take Ari out if it was absolutely necessary. He had tried to convince himself that Ari's life could be thrown away for the greater good, if it really came down to that. And the cold truth was, over a week ago, he actually had believed that and would probably have shot Ari without hesitation.
Oh, how things changed in such a short amount of time.
The Winter Soldier didn't even consider shooting Ari. She was his friend and friends didn't shoot friends—this seemed like a general rule of humanity, and he was on his way to rejoining humanity again. He wouldn't mar his entrance into the human world by murdering a close friend of his on his way in. He wanted to walk in clean, not with his hands covered in an innocent person's blood.
Gavin Hoffman stood there, holding the black decoder up in the air, waiting to see what the Winter Soldier did. He picked up the gun to stall Gavin Hoffman and pointed it at Ari, not saying anything for a moment. Ari was staring at him and her expression was calm, as if she didn't at all expect the Winter Soldier to shoot her. However, as he stared her down and didn't lower the barrel of the gun, he saw a flicker of doubt and insecurity flash in her eyes for just a moment—she was starting to actually get frightened now—
And then everything happened so quickly that afterwards, it was hard for anyone to explain what had happened. The Winter Soldier pointed his gun at Gavin Hoffman and expertly shot the decoding device. It blew clean out of Gavin's hands, missing his fingers (due purely to the Winter Soldier's skill) and for a second, Gavin spluttered and stammered in shock, never having expected that the Winter Soldier might shoot his own past away—and then he shouted, "What have you done, YOU FOOL? I'll show you—!" He turned to the agents lining the walls but before he could give any orders, the entire glass wall behind him exploded as a silver, blue, and red shield smashed through it and slammed into the wall behind the Winter Soldier so hard that it sank into the wall. He grabbed the shield and whirled just in time to deflect an agent who had lunged at him to sink a knife into his back. And then there was all out chaos. Gunshots rang out as Captain America, Black Widow, and Falcon clambered up over the edge of the floor that was now open to the outside and began fighting with the agents. There was suddenly a loud hissing noise and then a small bang and then heady gray smoke began to fill the room. It clouded the area thickly for just a few seconds so no one could see what was going on—the Winter Soldier blindly jammed his knife into the air in front of him and was satisfied to hear a scream—and then the smoke disappeared relatively quickly, due to the glass wall having been smashed in.
The Winter Soldier looked around to see four dead agents on the ground. "I pushed the fifth out the…er, window," said Falcon, shrugging and pointing to the edge of the floor that led straight down into forest now.
"Where's Ari?" the Winter Soldier suddenly demanded. "And—and Hoffman and Alex Madden? They're all gone!"
"They're the ones who threw the smoke grenade," Black Widow said grimly. "As a diversion, obviously. But why did they take Ari instead of you?"
"She was closer to them," he found himself saying hollowly. "And…and she's a good hostage."
Because they know she's my friend. What would they do to her now? Would they torture her again? He hoped against hope that they wouldn't. He hoped they'd wait for him to come to them.
He looked over at the other three, taking in their appearance for the first time. They were all dripping wet and shivering. Their eyes were bloodshot as if they'd all been swimming open-eyed in chlorinated water for hours and their lips were pale and bloodless, as were their faces and skin in general. They looked weak and he noticed Sam was holding onto the wall for support. They looked to be in bad shape—and yet they'd managed to wake up from cryo, escape, and find Ari and the Winter Soldier in a very short amount of time. Superheroes indeed.
"How did you…?" he asked, his question trailing off.
"I woke up first," said Natasha. "I found the gun with me—who did that, by the way? You? Nah, it was probably Ari—and I shot my way out of my box. I know how to wake people up from cryo—I did a lot of research on it after we discovered who you really were a few weeks ago—and I hunted around for the supplies to wake Steve and Sam. I found them under a table nearby and I set to work on both of them. Waking up is pretty quick process but I sped it up even further by injecting larger amounts of serums than were needed."
Now the Winter Soldier knew why Ari had insisted on waking Natasha first. Steve wouldn't have known at all what to do once he woke up and punched his way out of his box. Natasha, on the other hands, was very clever and knowledgeable in these types of things, and Ari had foreseen that this might be useful to them…which it had. The Winter Soldier took a quick moment to send thanks to the heavens for Ari's quick thinking.
And now it was time for him to do some quick thinking.
"Gavin Hoffman obviously wants me to come searching for him," he said. "He took Ari for a reason. She's not worth anything otherwise—to him, anyway. So I propose we give him exactly what he wants. He won't negotiate with anyone else. In the meanwhile, you three hunt down…" The Winter Soldier squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his temples at the sudden surge of pain behind his eyes. "Hunt down the memory reversal device."
"The what?" Natasha demanded at the same time Steve said, "Bucky, no. I'm not sending you straight to—what's his name? Gavin Hoffman? I'm not handing you over like some present. It's you he wants, so it'll be me he gets."
"Ari is my friend," snapped the Winter Soldier, irritated. "I'm going."
"I care about Ari too, believe it or not," said Steve.
"Yeah, but…" But it's not the same, he wanted to argue. Ari didn't mean the same things to Steve that she meant to him. To Steve, she was just a friendly and nice citizen who had treated his best friend kindly. And the Winter Soldier knew Steve would forever be grateful and loyal to Ari for doing that. But he didn't understand. For the Winter Soldier…Ari was hope. She represented him getting a second chance. Steve was his oldest friend, but Ari was his first true friend in these times. She'd risked her life unknowingly and knowingly to help take him in and nurse him to health and support him. She'd given up her job (he was sure of it by now) and she'd forced herself to meet with her brother, the one person she hated more than anyone else on the planet, for his sake. What kind of friend would he be if he abandoned her to her fate now?
"I'm going," he decided. "I can handle Gavin Hoffman. I'm a super-soldier, remember?"
"How could we forget," wisecracked Sam. "Y'all never stop reminding us." And they all broke out into tense and awkward smiles, suddenly feeling the need to turn the dark moment into a lighter one. Sometimes you just needed to laugh and keep moving.
"But you can help me," he said. He looked each of them in their eyes directly, feeling more like a sergeant than he had in possibly over seventy years. As the Winter Soldier, he'd been dangerous—but he had kept his gaze averted from officials and people in charge. He always lowered his eyes as a sign that he was subservient to them. Not this time. Now he was giving the orders and he felt a bit like Captain America. The effect was dizzying but not altogether unpleasant.
Natasha's forest green eyes. Sam's brown eyes. Steve's bright blue eyes. He looked each of them directly in the eyes and said, "You can take out every single agent in this building. That'll be a big help."
Steve looked like he wanted to argue but then he caught sight of the Winter Soldier's determined expression and took a step back. "Alright," he said calmly. "You know what you're doing. You sound like your old self, Bucky—like a sergeant."
"I feel like it," he said honestly.
Sam saluted him sassily and then all three of them turned to leave.
"Wait," he called after them. They all stopped and turned. He scowled suddenly so fiercely that Natasha raised her eyebrows. "If you find a guy named Alex Madden? Save him for me. I need to have a few words with him. Alright?"
Sam whistled under his breath. "Ooooh, I would not want to be this Alex Madd—hey, wait, Madden? As in Ari's last name?"
"Long story short," said the Winter Soldier, "he's her abusive, psychotic, murderous, traitor older brother. And I want to have a moments alone with him."
Steve nodded, his expression serious. "Don't worry. If we find him, he's all yours." He took a hesitant step towards Bucky—and then suddenly hurried at him and enveloped him in a hug. The Winter Soldier was so surprised that he didn't respond for a moment and then he awkwardly patted Steve on the back, wondering if he was supposed to say something. Was "there, there" appropriate? Or was that something one only said to babies?
"Be careful, Buck," Steve whispered fiercely in his ear. The Winter Soldier nodded and then Steve pulled away and saluted him. "Sergeant Barnes." And then he turned and strode from the room. Natasha gave him a respectful nod and a slight smile that said she grudgingly respected him now and also left. Sam grinned at him and said, "Don't worry. We got your back."
And then the Winter Soldier was alone. He looked around at the glass shattered on the ground and thought hard to himself. Where was Gavin Hoffman likely to be hiding out? Would he be with the memory reversal device? The Winter Soldier hadn't even been aware that there was a device that could return his memories to him—but he wasn't surprised, in all honesty. HYDRA had always been ahead of the curve regarding science and medicine. He wryly imagined what they could do if perhaps if they put forth some of their talents towards good.
He walked across the room to bend down behind the desk and inspect the shattered black device that Gavin Hoffman had said was the decoding device. He'd destroyed it. There went all his chances of finding out all the crimes he'd committed in the past and any more information on Bucky Barnes and the Winter Soldier project. For a moment the Winter Soldier felt unbearably defeated. He would never know the true extent of the atrocities he'd been involved in now. He would always have to wonder. This would plague his nightmares for the rest of his life.
But perhaps it was better this way. Perhaps he needed a clean break, a fresh start. That's what Ari would have said. She would have encouraged him to find the bright side in the situation. Steve would have done the same. Sam would have said, "It's fine, dude, you get the chance to start over. Give yourself a break." And Natasha…well, the Winter Soldier had no idea what Natasha would say because she was so mysterious. But she'd probably have something semi-kind or semi-helpful to add as well.
He pocketed the broken fragments (not really asking himself why) and then wondered where Gavin Hoffman could be. He was obviously waiting for the Winter Soldier to come to him… If he were Gavin Hoffman and he'd read all the Winter Soldier's files, where would he go to wait for the Winter Soldier to come find him?
The roof. The Winter Soldier instantly knew it was true the second he thought it. He had always been talented with high places. He was good on the ground as well, of course, but jumping, leaping, swinging, sniping from high buildings…it was something of a specialty for him. He had somewhat enjoyed it too, to whatever extent he had been able to "enjoy" things while he had worked for HYDRA. Perhaps enjoy was the wrong word…he preferred to be on high rooftops or high places when on missions. Not only did it give him strategic advantages, it made him feel less antsy and cooped up, the way he always did when he had driven in armored cars with HYDR strike agents on the way to a mission. He hadn't liked being around people. He still didn't much like being around people, a few exceptions withstanding. But Gavin Hoffman had read his files and the Winter Soldier was sure that it was noted down somewhere that he liked roofs and high places.
Roofs were also good places to throw people off of and make it look like an accident.
He turned and strode from the room. He heard a few distant shots in the distance and vaguely wondered who had fallen now. Comrade or enemy? If they all got out of this alive, it would surely be a miracle. He bounded up the stairs in the stairwell down the hall, making sure to sweep each new hallway carefully with his eyes to check for any more traps. But he encountered nothing. It appeared that in this cheap temporary headquarters the electrical cages had been the only things they'd had time to set up. Still, those cages had been lethal…they'd even managed to trap Captain America.
Yes, HYDRA was still dangerous. It wouldn't do to forget this.
He quickly climbed several flights of stairs, skipping several steps at a time, and pushed the door to the roof open, emerging into darkness. Night had fallen. The air was warm and thousands of stars glittered overhead in the velvety deep blue sky—a night all too beautiful for what had been going on here. The door shut behind him and he heard a loud buzzing noise. Whirling, he yanked the door—to no avail. It had locked himself.
"Yes, I apologize about that."
He slowly turned around to see Gavin Hoffman standing in the middle of the roof, holding a machine gun pointed straight at him. "I control all the doors in this place, you see," he continued, patting a bulge in his pocket which the Winter Soldier could only assume was some sort of remote control.
The Winter Soldier merely looked at him, his expression very emotionless and mask-like. "So why aren't you shooting me?"
"I had to ask why," said Gavin Hoffman.
The Winter Soldier waited for him to clarify. But instead, the man only cocked his head and took a step towards the Winter Soldier, eyes taking in everything. There was something strained and wild about his eyes, something that told the Winter Soldier that all was not well inside this man's head. Something had happened to him since their last talk and he looked a bit more unhinged.
"Why what?" the Winter Soldier finally asked.
"Why you didn't shoot the girl," said Gavin Hoffman. "Aritamis Madden. I did a bit of looking up on her—our guard brought me a bit of her hair after she went through her beating and I looked her up to see. I wanted to see what kind of magic this girl possessed. Is it something I can use? Is it something I can fabricate? I need to know."
The Winter Soldier felt a bit confused now but he kept a wary eye on Gavin Hoffman's machine gun as he took a slight, almost imperceptible step towards him. Hoffman didn't seem to notice. "What do you mean?" he asked slowly. "Ari doesn't do any…magic."
"Oh, but she does," snapped Hoffman, looking a bit more demented now. "Do you understand the implications of what has happened here? Let me enlighten you, Soldier. I have studied the human brain and human connections and human emotions for decades. I know all about the desperate things humans can do in the name of love and passion and lust. That dangerous thing called love—it can make humans do even the most wretched, mad things. At first I assumed this was what had happened to you. Perhaps…perhaps we'd underestimated the fact that you are still a man. Perhaps, upon your newfound freedom, you'd fallen in love with this girl and this was why you changed completely."
The Winter Soldier didn't know what to say to this. Gavin Hoffman, it appeared, was more insane than he'd originally assumed. The Winter Soldier wasn't in love with Ari. Yes, he could admit that Ari wasn't exactly displeasing to look at…but he didn't have those kinds of feelings for her.
"But I realized that wasn't it," said Hoffman. "Any fool could see it wasn't it, after I ordered her to be brought to your room after her beating. I kept waiting for you to kiss her—or do any of the things lust-filled young people do after their beloved has been hurt. You didn't. In fact, you didn't even touch her. And I knew then it wasn't that. But then what?"
"You're rambling," said the Winter Soldier coldly, taking another tiny half-step. "Make your point. Now."
"The point, Soldier, is I want to know what she did to you!" Hoffman shouted, suddenly looking absolutely demented, his fleshy face twisting with anger. "At first I assumed perhaps you were fond of her because she was kind to you—the way a beaten animal is kind to the first hand that feeds it—but I was positive you would shoot her and come back to us. A week with this one irrelevant human couldn't possibly overcome decades of the highest forms of torture, brainwashing, emotional and physical manipulation, and socialization…could it?" Gavin Hoffman's voice became bitter then. "As it turns out…it could. It could and it did. And I want to know why. I want you to tell me what exactly she's done to you, said to you. The kind of loyalty she's inspired…if I could replicate that for future projects…"
Gavin Hoffman had never had any friends, the Winter Soldier suddenly realized. It was funny (in a completely non-funny way) because in the most basic terms, Gavin Hoffman was more human than the Winter Soldier. In a textbook definition sense, Gavin Hoffman had live a normal number of years, had been allowed to feel emotions, had never been frozen in cryo, had been allowed to grow up and have a life… He was "human."
And yet, on a deeper level, the Winter Soldier realized that he was more human than Gavin Hoffman. Despite being frozen for decades, despite all the manipulation and torture and training and mind games played on him, despite having his emotions shut off…he was more human than Gavin Hoffman. Because he'd experienced true friendship. He'd experienced true friendship as Bucky Barnes with Steve Rogers—and he'd stumbled right into another amazing friendship with Ari as the Winter Soldier. And so he understood that the "magic" that Gavin Hoffman was so desperately trying to understand…was nothing more than pure, unselfish friendship.
"Why should I explain anything to you?" he asked, his voice tight with anger. "I don't owe you anything." And he certainly wasn't about to talk about his friendship with Ari to this disgusting man. It would feel dirty, like he was defiling their friendship. "You—HYDRA—took everything from me."
"I suppose you have questions," Hoffman said, his eyes haunted and hungry. "Fine. You ask and I'll answer. And then you will tell me Aritamis Madden's secret."
The Winter Soldier was vaguely reminded of the time Ari promised him he could ask her questions in exchange for her asking him questions. "Fine," he spat. "Tell me why. Tell me why you picked me. Out of everyone in the world—why did you pick me? I was half-dead when you found me. Why pick Bucky Barnes instead of any other man in the world—preferably one who hadn't just fallen hundreds of feet?"
Gavin Hoffman took a few steps backwards, unwittingly taking himself further away from the Winter Soldier, who had been positioning himself to attack Hoffman, and the Winter Soldier mentally cursed him. Hoffman shrugged. "Truthfully? I have no idea. I wouldn't be born for another decade."
"You've obviously read my files!" the Winter Soldier sand angrily, clenching his cybernetic hand threateningly and Hoffman whipped the gun back up to face him.
"Ah, ah, ah, Soldier," he said slowly, eyes cold. "Watch your step. We wouldn't want you getting shot, now would we? Despite all your mistakes…I still have faith you will return to HYDRA. You were—are—our most valuable assets. Though we do have other assets ready to come out and play, in other places in the world… Have you met the twins?"
"The twins?" repeated the Winter Soldier.
"Ah, no, you wouldn't have… Never mind that. You'll see soon enough. Back to the topic at hand. Which was…why HYDRA picked you. Well, my dear Soldier, I'm being honest now. I don't know. The reason isn't in your files either. Perhaps you were convenient, what with your arm nearly being torn off in the fall. Perhaps it was your connection to the brave"—Hoffman's voice dripped with disdain—"Captain America they liked. Either way, I don't know."
One mystery the Winter Soldier would never solve. He stuffed his disappointment deep down inside of him and moved on, taking a small step forward. "Then tell me why HYDRA even…invented me in the first place. What is the purpose of all this? All this—this chaos? These wars? Me…killing people?"
"Why do you think?" Hoffman asked scornfully. "Use what little brain you have, you fool!" He began to pace, his expression bordering on mad again of a sudden. "Think! The world is corrupt, Soldier. It has been, since the dawn of time. Perhaps…perhaps there was a time when it wasn't. Thousands of years ago, when civilizations flourished. But that's all changed in the last couple of centuries. The world is rotten. Half the people starve to death, the other half drown in their money and fat. People are simultaneously frightened and scornful. Lies, corruption, immorality…is there any disgusting flaw that is not prevalent among society? HYDRA dreams of building a better world. A safer, more regulated world. But to do that, we needed to tear the old one down. And what better way to do it than to slowly ignite chaos around the world? You—and a few other tools like you, though none are quite like you—have done our work for us. We got to sit back and watch the world burn. Wars, genocide, chaos…slowly we brought it upon the world, knowing that in time—when we swooped in to save everyone—people would willingly bow down to us. If there's one lesson history has taught us, it is that you cannot force people to follow you. So we aimed to trick and manipulate people into following us. We guided them in the right direction and they would eventually come to welcome us with open arms."
He stopped pacing, his brow sweaty and eyes wide and bloodshot, and quietly said, "The world is such a disgusting place, don't you think so? Such a filthy place, even with you—though you did manage to add your own pieces of filth to it."
The Winter Soldier tensed at Gavin Hoffman's reminder of all the people he had murdered in cold blood in the past and Hoffman's sharp, shark-like eyes locked onto the movement at once. He let out a harsh laugh and said, "Oh, does that make you feel bad? See, I was right. Aritamis Madden has done something extraordinarily, because I can see you clearly feel guilt over what you've done. But I wonder…do you know exactly what it is that you've done?"
The Winter Soldier clenched his jaw, his throat suddenly feeling blocked up. His heart was hammering, banging violently against his rib cage. His mind flickered with memories of people screaming—pleading—and he pressed his human hand to his head, pushing back his sweaty hair, trying to ignore the dull throb that was starting up in his head.
"Evelyn Caine," said Gavin Hoffman. "1946. You suffocated her while she slept."
"Shut up," growled the Winter Soldier, his stomach twisting uncomfortably. He didn't want to hear this from the mouth of Gavin Hoffman. He wanted to come to terms with this on his own.
"Mark Brewster," continued Gavin Hoffman. "Politician. You shot him in the head while he slept next to his wife."
"I said to shut up," snarled the Winter Soldier.
"Alexandru Banica. 1968. A very strong political activist. His main message was spreading peace and stopping war. He had five children and was very beloved. You ruined that."
The Winter Soldier felt like he couldn't breathe. It felt like his chest was on fire as Gavin Hoffman went on, listing out names and dates and places and methods of murder until the Winter Soldier felt like he was drowning in the blood of all the people he'd killed. Finally he snapped and lunged forward, blindly grabbing for Hoffman's face to shut him up for good—
BANG, BANG, BANG! Three shots sounded in rapid procession and the Winter Soldier felt his shoulder erupt into flames. He staggered back and looked down at his right shoulder; the bullets had grazed his arm, ripping the skin on the outside. Blood was leaking out. It was a flesh wound—he would survive—but it was painful as hell.
"Shall I continue?" asked Gavin Hoffman.
The Winter Soldier looked at Gavin Hoffman, hating every last piece of this vile man in front of him. He hated what he was reminding him off. He didn't want to be this way anymore. His mind was whirling with images of Ari and Steve—and others. Other people. His Howling Commandos. A dark-haired, red-lipped woman. Peggy Carter. Others. Girls at school. A boy—James—he'd done a school project with. Mr. Fargo, the man who used to sell him gum for cheap when he had been a young man and hadn't had much money. Miss Buchanan, who had the same last name as him and had been his first crush and he'd given her a daisy when he'd been twelve and she'd laughed sweetly and had broken his childish heart when he saw her with her beau the next day outside the bank. These people, these humans, they were who he was. Not the people he'd killed, not the families he'd torn apart. That had been him but he'd never wanted it, never asked for it. He'd never chosen it. That wasn't him.
"Face it!" shouted Gavin Hoffman, taking an increasingly close step to the Winter Soldier. "Face it! You are a monster! You are a murderous, despicable weapon! A creature! You have no family, no friends! This Aritamis, this Captain America—these people are all fickle and will all abandon you in disgust when they realize the horrors you have wrought!"
Stop, the Winter Soldier groaned in his own mind, trembling slightly as Gavin Hoffman continued in his onslaught. His mind filled with images of Steve and Ari backing away from him in horror if they heard the names of all the people he'd killed and he felt himself sweating, his mouth dry, his heart thundering painfully. Painful tears stung his eyes and he furiously blinked them away, focusing on the horrible things Hoffman was shouting at him.
"They will leave you! You will have no one! Except for HYDRA. Because you have always had HYDRA. You will always be HYDRA. You are a dangerous tool and you were a fool to think otherwise! Did you think you were capable of love? That you deserved love? After all the crimes you have committed? Why would a monster like you deserve friends? Love? A future? What about the futures of the people you've killed? You need to wake up from this childish, weak dream and realize that you are a cold-blooded killer, nothing more. And once you realize this, life will be so much easier for you, I promise! You are not worthy of love or even respect, but HYDRA has the mercy to hold you in some value, and for that, you should be eternally grateful, Soldier—"
"MY NAME IS NOT SOLDIER!" the Winter Soldier suddenly screamed madly, lunging at Gavin Hoffman. "IT'S BUCKY!"
The steel cable that had connected Bucky to HYDRA snapped in one crystal moment. It snapped in half suddenly, the recoil slapping into Bucky's face, but the sting felt good. It felt like waking up and taking a breath of fresh air. It burned his throat and his nose but it made him feel alive, like he was on fire inside—and after decades of the numbing ice, this was a welcome feeling.
Gavin Hoffman had loosened his grip on his machine gun so when Bucky grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and viciously dragged him over to the roof of the building, the machine gun fell out of his grip with ease. Bucky kicked it aside roughly with his combat boot and then shook Hoffman, holding him in a threatening grip over the side of the building, ready to drop him at any moment's notice.
"Tell me what I should be eternally grateful for!" he shouted, shaking Hoffman so violently that the man let out sharp cries of fearful shock, looking behind him at the forest floor—five stories below—beneath him. He would never survive the fall. "TELL ME!" yelled Bucky, his head and heart both pounding in simultaneous rhythm. "What should I be grateful for? You ruining my life? You erasing my memories? You turning me into a weapon? I'm not a monster—you are! I didn't make any decisions—you did! So you TELL ME what I should be grateful for!" He gave Hoffman a violent shake, his hands trembling with so much rage that he could barely contain himself.
"P-Please!" cried Hoffman. His face had gone pale as his arms wind-milled wildly in the air, trying desperately to grab onto Bucky's shirt, anything, to hold onto. A dark stain spread across the front of his pants and Bucky noticed with disgusted pleasure that he'd wet himself in fear. "If you let me go—I'll give you your files! Your memories! Anything you want!"
"You said I destroyed the device to decode my files," Bucky hissed darkly, his grip on the man's throat tightening.
"I—I was lying!" Gavin Hoffman yelled in a panic. "I have another device hidden in my office! If you let me go, I'll take you to it and you can have your files. I'll even show you the memory machine and you can leave with all your stupid little friends!" He didn't seem so threatening now, Bucky noted grimly, now that he was without his weapon. Bucky didn't like a man who hid behind weapons and false bravery. Even back when he'd been the Winter Soldier, he had been more than just all talk. He could walk the walk.
He still could, in fact.
"I've had enough of your lies," he whispered—and then he simply opened his fingers. He heard Gavin Hoffman's scream getting fainter and fainter as he fell and then all he could feel was the warm summery breeze envelop him as he stood there, fingers still frozen open. He didn't know how long he stood there, unmoving, just taking time to take it all in…but then he remembered Ari and Alex and Steve and Sam and Natasha. His friends. Well, except for Alex. His open fingers clenched in. He still had some business to attend to.
He yanked the roof door open a few times before he remembered that Hoffman had locked it—and had fallen to his death with the remote still in his pocket. Shrugging, Bucky picked up the machine gun and began firing with extreme precision at the door lock area, his dark blue-green eyes narrowed. Eventually he heard a popping noise and a small broken buzzing sound and the door clicked open. He kicked it open and threw himself over the railing, jumping down several flights of stairs in one go. He was in a hurry to see what had happened to his friends in the time he'd been with Gavin Hoffman.
When he entered the main floor, the first thing he noticed was that there was…silence. No shouting, no gunfire, nothing at all. He kept the machine gun at the ready as he cautiously moved through the halls, wondering where everyone had gone. His heart gave a nasty jump every time he saw a body on the ground and it would settle with relief every time he realized it was yet another HYDRA agent. So far he hadn't seen any of his friends dead. This was good news. So…where were they?
"On your left!" someone shouted and he whirled, ducking, as Steve's shield slammed into the wall behind him. Sam walked up, grinning, and Steve was close behind him, rolling his eyes slightly.
"Sam," he said, "I didn't mean for you to throw it at Bucky."
Sam shrugged and grinned. "I knew he'd duck in time. And look, he did. You're not mad, are you, Barnes?" he asked.
"No," said Bucky. "I'm not." He locked eyes with Steve and both of them broke into hesitant smiles.
"You're alive," said Steve.
"Yes, I am," said Bucky.
"What happened to Hoffman?" asked Sam. "Did you get him? Please tell me you got him."
"I got him," said Bucky with grim pleasure. Sam let out a whoop of joy.
"As much as I love the brilliant eloquence and emotion of this moment," came a dry voice—and there she was, beautiful even after a battle and several cuts on her cheek, walking up behind Steve—"shouldn't we be finding Ari?" Natasha placed her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow at him.
"You didn't find her?" Bucky's voice got ever so slightly hoarser, as his worry increased. Where the hell was Ari?
"We were sort of busy fighting HYDRA agents," said Natasha. "But don't worry, we'll find Ari. The coast is clear now. Every single HYDRA agent—that we found, anyway—is dead."
"No, I'll find her," said Bucky.
"This again?" demanded Steve.
"Listen," said Bucky sharply. "I have another job for you." And then he quickly described what Gavin Hoffman had said, ending with, "I don't know if he's lying. But if"—he hesitated then—"if he was telling the truth…I can still get my files and my memories. And I need you guys to find these things and see if how they work, if they really exist. I'm useless with technology."
"Sam and Natasha can do that," said Steve, "but I don't see why I can't come with you. We can be a team again."
"Trust me, dealing with Alex Madden is something I need to do on my own," said Bucky and his tone was so menacing then, at the thought of Alexian Madden, that Steve raised an eyebrow but said, "Fine. Again, I trust you. You seem—you seem different," he added, hesitating slightly. "Even from before, in the room. What happened with Hoffman?"
Bucky didn't know how to answer this. He didn't know how to tell Steve that even though he would never feel completely like Bucky Barnes again, he still felt more like Bucky than he ever had before. He wasn't the Winter Soldier anymore and he never would be again, even if the Winter Soldier was a dark stain on him that he'd never be able to erase. "Let's just say that the cable snapped," he said quietly, his voice burning with a suppressed emotion.
It was evident that Steve didn't quite get that, but he was sharp enough to catch onto the fact that obviously Bucky had come to terms with something with Hoffman, so he nodded solemnly, said, "Be careful," and then followed Sam and Natasha out the door. Bucky watched them go for the second time that day and then went off in search of the Madden siblings.
He combed through the entire main floor and just as he was about to set up the same stairwell he and Ari had been in earlier, heading up to the next floor, he cocked his ears and listened closely. He'd thought…he'd heard a noise echoing from down below. He only paused for a second and then he was racing downstairs to the basement again, bursting through the door he'd battered earlier, to see something very strange.
For a moment, he had no idea what he was looking at. All he could see was a struggle of limbs and flying dark brown hair and the noises of two people fighting—and then he realized with horror what was going on. Alex was trying to shove Ari into a cryo chamber. Bucky didn't know what Alex was planning to do—freeze her properly? Probably not…He probably only wanted to lock her in a chamber so she could suffocate to death—but he wasn't going to give Alex the chance to have his way. Ari was putting up a furious fight but Alex was much larger than her and she was already wounded. He had already half forced her into the chamber, a syringe in his fist, when Bucky slammed into him. Both of them went sprawling and smashed into a table against the wall, which fell over, surgical tools scattering all over the floor.
"Ari, get back!" Bucky shouted—and then he and Alex were off and away again. It was like before, in Ari's family room, except this time the fight was furious and more deadly. Both of them were fighting to kill or at least seriously injure. Bucky's shot arm screamed in pain as he punched Alex repeatedly, wrestling with him, and soon both of them were covered in blood—mostly Bucky's, as his arm wound was still bleeding—but he definitely still had the upper hand.
"Soldier, get back here!" he heard Ari shout. He punched Alex one last time in the face, slamming Alex's head against the ground, and then he leaped to his feet. He backed up, breathing heavily, to where Ari was. She stood with her feet spread apart on the ground and she was holding a gun and pointing it at Alex, who was getting to his feet and groaning. Her face was pale and determined but Bucky noticed her hands were shaking badly and her mouth turned down at the corners as though she might be sick. Her bruises looked bad, her hair was messy, and she was bleeding from all over.
Alex looked up at Ari pointing the gun at him from across the room and he began to laugh nastily. "Oh please," he sneered. "Don't be so pathetic. As if you could ever have the guts to shoot me, Ari."
"I could do it," said Ari, taking a deep shuddering breath. "Why couldn't I?"
"Because I'm your brother," said Alex and Ari let out a harsh laugh.
"Is that supposed to matter?" she asked bitterly. "That you're related to me? You're a monster. You've taken everything from me. You're rotten and disgusting and I want nothing more than for you to die. You made my life miserable growing up. You beat me up. You were a lazy coward who never wanted to do work or do anything for our parents. The stress you put on them killed them. You never even attended their funeral. You made a deal with HYDRA. You stole Dani from me. You sold Soldier and I out to HYDRA. And you were just trying to kill me right now. And you think I should give a damn that you're my brother? Get bent!"
Alex didn't respond, merely glared at her and gave the gun in her shaking hands an apprehensive glance.
"Family doesn't just start and end with blood!" she said, her voice a little more shrill with fury and hurt now. "So don't call yourself my brother! You're nothing to me except a piece of garbage I have to get rid of!"
"So do it," taunted Alex. "Do it, then! If you're so brave, pull the trigger!"
"I will!" shouted Ari—but she didn't. She stared at Alex, pointing the gun right at him, but she didn't pull the trigger. Her face was extremely pale (though whether this was from blood loss or fear and nerves, Bucky couldn't tell) and she was sweating now. Her hands were shaking so badly that Bucky was afraid she might drop the gun or accidentally shoot herself in the foot or something. Her lips trembled as she whispered something to herself that Bucky couldn't decipher. She looked like she might vomit.
"Ari," he started in a low voice, but Alex cut him off.
"See?" he crowed triumphantly. "I told you that you can't do it! So much for your grand speech, you stupid little bitch! You talk like you're a big girl, like you're so brave, but you can't even pull the trigger!"
And then Bucky knew Ari could never pull the trigger. She might hurt someone in the heat of the moment, if it was kill or be killed, but she could never deliberately murder someone in cold blood, no matter how vile the person was. Some would consider it a heroic trait, others would consider it a fatal flaw, but either way, it was one hundred percent Ari. It was who she was, and who she would always be: a good person. She would always be a good person. She would always be the one to hesitate before shooting. And Bucky was happy it was this way. A world where Ari Madden shot someone without hesitation would be a dark world indeed, one that he wasn't sure he would want to be in. Ari was better than she him and that was the way it was supposed to be. She was a kind person. She was selfless.
He wasn't as selfless or kind.
He took the gun gently from her shaking hands and then pointed it at Alex. His hands were perfectly steady and his voice almost bored as he said, "Bravery isn't pulling the trigger. Bravery is knowing when not to pull the trigger. And Ari is a hundred thousand times braver than you could ever be."
"Ari, wait—" started Alex, suddenly looking fearful.
"This," said Bucky, "is from Dani." He shot Alex in his left thigh and Alex dropped to his right knee after letting out a scream of shock and pain. He looked down at the blood pouring from his thigh and then looked back up at Ari and Bucky in disbelief, as if he couldn't believe he'd been shot. It had probably never occurred to him that the bully could be bullied. Groaning, he grabbed the edge of a table nearby and dragged himself upright, his left leg a trembling and bloody mess.
Bucky pointed the gun at Alex's right thigh and then Alex suddenly pleaded, "Ari, please! Please, make him stop! I'm sorry, okay? I'll do whatever you want—I'll let you keep your house—I'll leave you the hell alone—please stop him!"
"This," said Bucky, "is from me." He fired a shot into Alex's left thigh and Alex dropped to his knees with another piercing cry of pain. Now pathetic tears were rolling down his face as he groaned and bent over, his hands scrabbling uselessly at his bloody legs, trying to staunch the flow of blood.
Bucky looked at Ari, who was shaking but had a very resolute expression on her face, and she looked at him—and then gave the slightest of nods. Her mouth trembled and her blue eyes seemed glassy but she didn't betray any emotion as Bucky waited for Alex to finally look up at them—and then he pointed the gun at Alex's head.
"And this," said Bucky—
"ARI, PLEASE!" Alex's voice rose to a piteous scream.
"—is from Ari," he said and then he fired. BANG. And then there was silence as Alex fell to the floor, blood and brain matter covering the ground behind him. Ari forced herself to stare at the body for a moment, every part of her trembling, a sheen of sweat on her deathly-pale face. But her expression was emotionless and hard. No crying or sadness. Bucky let her stare at the body for as long as she wanted, waiting silently by her. She needed to do this, to finally get closure for all the pain Alex had put her through. Finally, she swallowed, tilted her chin up in a manner that seemed oddly regal, and turned away. She looked at Bucky and silently mouthed, "Thank you."
"You're welcome," he replied quietly.