Chapter 2

Confusion

As the sun was setting over Miami Deb was thankful she was able to call it a day with her work and go home. After all of the confusion and the stress of Dr. Wentworth she was more than ready to sleep through it. Deb was just putting her jacket on when her office door opened and Quinn stood there. For a second she stopped what she was doing but then decided he would stress her out too much for one day.

"Look, whatever it is Quinn it can wait until tomorrow. I've had a hard day and I just want to go home okay?" He smirked at her.

"Oh I saw just how hard your day has been, you should probably invest in a lock for this door if your days are going to get that hard a lot. I was just coming to inform you that I won't be in tomorrow morning, I've got better stuff to do than work." Deb frowned at him.

"Excuse me?"

"You're excused. And unless you want me to tell everyone that you're a dyke and that's the real reason you wouldn't marry me, I'm having tomorrow morning off. With pay." Before Deb had a chance to answer he turned and left. Her jaw was hanging open slightly in shock as he left the office.

"That little shit just fucking blackmailed me." She mumbled to herself. This was definitely too much to deal with for one day. Checking she had everything she shut her office light off and walked towards the elevator in a bit of a daze. Quinn had her right on the money, she didn't even know what was going on with her the last thing she needed was her entire team whispering behind her back. Luckily, by the time she'd gotten out of the elevator and gone to the car park he was gone. His parking space was empty. Deb leant against her car and let out a long exhausted breath. She didn't know what to do or who to talk to about it. Well, there was Sarah (Dr. Wentworth but Deb thought they were on a first name basis by now) and she was her therapist.

"Fuck it." Deb told herself as she got into the car and called Sarah.

"Hello?" Sarah's voice answered and Deb faltered, her words refused to come out.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" Deb cleared her throat.

"Hell, I mean, hi. It's Deb."

"I know your name came up on my screen." There was an awkward silence.

"Right...of course you did. Are you...okay?" Sarah giggled a little at Deb's lack of being able to form words properly.

"Yes, I'm fine thank you. How're you?" Deb smiled at the sound of her laughter, putting herself at ease slightly.

"I'm good. Are you free tonight? I was hoping we could...talk."

"Deb I get paid to talk all day, that's really not how I want to spend my Friday night. Why don't we go for a drink?" Deb raised her eyebrows, a little surprised.

"Um sure, a drink sounds good. Where do you want to go?" Sarah sighed.

"Where's your sense of adventure? I'll come by your place about nine and we can figure it out from there okay?"

"Yeah that sounds great."

"Okay, text me your address." With that Sarah hung up without a goodbye, completely normal. Deb started the car and drove home as she started to think about her evening plans. Was it a date? If it was Deb had totally organised that by accident. She just needed someone who understood what she was struggling with and help her through it.

Yeah, like another lesbian you mean. She thought to herself. Turning the radio on Deb tried to concentrate on the music so she didn't think too much, it was giving her a headache. It wasn't long until Deb was home and ready and waiting for Sarah to knock on the door. Looking at her watch again Deb paced, nervous as hell. Then she was angry at herself for being nervous. The phone rang and made Deb jump slightly but she answered it.

"Hey Deb, it's Dexter. You got any plans tonight?"

"Hi Dex, Yeah I have I'm going out for a drink with Sarah." As soon as she said her name she winced, knowing what Dexter was going to say.

"Oh okay, whose Sarah? I don't think I've heard you mention a Sarah before."

"A friend I met a while ago, she's a lot of fun actually." Dexter laughed a little.

"Well okay then, you two kids have fun. I'll call you over the weekend okay?" Deb smiled at her brother's commitment. Even if it was just to see what she was doing he always called.

"Yeah Dex, thanks. See you." Just as she hung up there was a knock at her door and she mindlessly opened it as if it were anyone else, half forgetting she was waiting on Sarah. When she opened the door she froze as Sarah stood there, smiling at her. It was bizarre to Deb to see her out of her working self. Even though she was wearing some jeans, boots and a tight tank top Deb thought she looked really good.

"Hi." Sarah said awkwardly when Deb didn't say anything.

"Oh shit, hi. Sorry, come in." Sarah giggled at Deb's nervous response.

"Do you want a drink? Coffee?" Deb offered.

"I'll have a beer, if you've got some." Nodding politely Deb went and got two beers out of the refrigerator. Showing Sarah to the couch she sat next to her as she handed her the bottle. It was awkward already and Deb felt herself wondering if this was a good idea.

"Right, I can't do this all night." Sarah set her beer down and moved for Deb, she cupped her face in her hands and pulled her into a kiss. Deb didn't know what to do and just kind of let it happen. She knew one thing though; no kiss off a guy had ever made her feel like this. Her heart rate was racing and getting louder and louder in her own ears. One thing was for sure, she knew she didn't' want this to end. After a few seconds Sarah pulled away and smiled at her.

"Is that better?" Deb just smiled and moved back a little.

"Was it that obvious I was freaking out?" Sarah laughed.

"I get paid to analyse people, but you looked like you were about to pass out. I take it you didn't call me for a date then?" Deb felt like a horrible person when she heard that rejection in Sarah's voice.

"No that's not it, it's not like I wouldn't want to, I just. I'm a little..."

"Confused?" Sarah finished off.

"Yes, you have to understand I've never thought this would be possible. Let alone that I would want it or want you and ugh what if I am a lesbian? What are people going to say?"

"That's the last thing you should care about Deb. If you are in fact, a lesbian, that's no one's business but yours." That therapist tone was in her voice again and Deb sighed.

"Listen if we're going to do...whatever this is then you can't be my friend and shrink me? I don't like it." Sarah laughed.

"Okay, I won't. Sorry it's sort of a habit I guess. We can take things as fast or as slow as you want, I'm here for you." Reaching forward, Sarah gently took Debs hand and just sat there quietly. She could see how tense Deb was about the whole thing.

"So...where do we go from here?" Deb asked carefully.

"Wherever you want, this can be a date or two friends getting a drink. It's entirely up to you; I'll just go with it." Smiling Deb felt so comfortable to have Sarah there with her, to be by her side.

"You can't be my therapist anymore, you know that?" They both laughed and took more sips of the beers they had.

"How was work today then? Any grimy cases?" The whole Quinn thing popped into Debs head but she didn't want to think about that.

"Well I work in a homicide department all my work is grimy. How about you?" Sarah shrugged.

"Same old same old, people have problems and they pay me to make them feel better. Someone gave me a plant today though." They both laughed and drank more beer. As the bottles started to empty Deb realised they'd have to get more beer or go out.

"What do you want to do to then?" Sarah was asking Deb in referral to how the rest of the night would go. It wasn't even ten o'clock on a Friday night.

"We could have another beer here and then head out to a bar or something?" Nodding Sarah smiled in agreement as Deb went to get the last two bottle of beer she had in her refrigerator.

"I like your place by the way, it's really lovely. It's in such a beautiful location too." Sarah pointed out as she got up and looked out of the patio doors.

"Yeah, I was lucky to get it I suppose." Remembering how she acquired the place because someone had died here and she couldn't care less Deb smirked a little. She also made a note to not bring that up to Sarah anytime soon. Following Sarah over to the patio doors she handed her another beer and started drinking her own. They drank in silence for a few moments, neither of them not knowing what to say. Deb really wanted to kiss her but didn't know how to go about it. Sarah really wanted Deb to kiss her, but she didn't want to freak her out.

"Come over here a second." Sarah asked as she motioned towards the couch. They sat and Sarah smiled at Deb a little.

"What's going through your mind right now?" Deb went to answer but realised it wouldn't be appropriate.

"Well whatever it is, just say it or do it because you're making me nervous by being so nervous." For a second Deb considered bailing and telling her to leave and just going to bed early. After all, it had been such a hard day. But then she looked at Sarah's smile and her lips and felt her heart start to beat out of time. Taking a deep breath Deb placed her beer down.

"Fuck it." She told herself and she leant forward and pressed her lips against Sarah's. As they kissed Deb couldn't help but be awestruck at how this had bypassed her for her entire life. How she had gone all these years without so much as considering it. Sarah reached up and wrapped her arms around Deb, pulling her closer. Deb moved forward, pushing Sarah flat on the couch. After a couple of minutes Sarah pulled away.

"You doing okay?" Laughing Deb nodded and kissed her again. She was doing okay, but she had no idea what she was doing. She awkwardly placed her hand on Sarah's hip, then pulled it away.

"Okay, stop." Sarah said mid-kiss.

"Come on, off." Moving Deb off her she sat up and fixed her hair.

"Is everything okay?" Deb shot her a worried glance.

"Yeah, that was...a lot better than okay. Where's your bedroom?" Hesitantly Deb pointed a silent finger towards the door.

"Okay, come on." Sarah got up and made her way towards the bedroom. After a few seconds of feeling lost Deb stood and followed her. Deb tried to apologise for the mess as she opened the door, remembering she hadn't really cleaned in here.

"Sorry it's not tidy I wasn't expecting you to be..." She trailed off when she found Sarah. She was lying on her bed quite happily making herself comfortable.

"That's okay. I don't really mind a bit of...mess." She pulled a t-shirt from the bed and dropped it to the floor. Deb nodded and took her shoes off (when she saw Sarah had) and made her way to the bed. Sitting on the edge of it with her back to Sarah she took a deep breath, wondering why she was so nervous. This was so not her first time yet she felt like it was, she felt just as scared. Sarah's hand slid over her shoulder as she kissed her neck.

"Listen...we don't...have to do...anything you...don't want to...okay?" Sarah mumbled in-between kisses. Nodding a little absently Deb turned around so she could kiss her properly. Sarah moved her lips to kiss and bite Deb's neck slightly as she unfastened her shirt. Eventually, they were both in bed and undressed.

"Are you sure?" Sarah asked Deb one last time, before they got too far into anything.

"Yes, I'm sure." As Sarah kissed down her body, Deb thought that it looked like they definitely weren't going anywhere for a long time.