Chapter 3: Shouldn't Want You

Her eyes floated over his body while he slept next to her. She watched his eyes flutter when she eased closer to his bare skin for warmth. "I'm surprised you're still here." He whispered, "I would have put money on you running away in the night."

"It's not classy." Her index finger traced his nose, his eyes and then his mouth while she talked to him. His features were breath taking in the early hours of the morning. The light blue color filled the windows of his bedroom, telling her the sun would be up soon. "Why so tired?"

"You know why." He smiled, his eyes still closed. She giggled when he wrapped his arm around her figure and pulled her close to him underneath the soft comforter. He brushed her hair away from her neck before his lips attacked her skin. "Someone wouldn't let me sleep last night."

Elena whispered, "We can't" when his eyes met hers. She could see the pure lust in them as he positioned himself over her. "I really have to go soon."

He groaned, "Look who's the responsible adult." He joked with her as he continued to kiss down her skin. "Will you come back tonight?"

"Two nights in a row?" She winced, "Do you think that's wise?"

"Not at all…but-" The look in his eyes said that he didn't care about the consequences of their sneaking around. "We need to come up with an excuse for you to be here."

"You could throw a party." She said, "A birthday party for Elijah."

"Hmm, but my brother is nowhere to be found and his birthday isn't even close to this month."

"Then have a party celebrating yourself! I'm sure the town would go along with it. They have parties for everything." She torn the comforter off of his body while she grabbed her clothes.

Klaus laid on his side, "Why do you insist on covering up? You have nothing to be ashamed of."

"Some people aren't as bold as you." She walked into his bathroom to throw her clothes back on so she could go home and shower. "So, you're having a gathering tonight?"

"Yes."

She hesitated, "Do you need help? I know Rebekah usually does the planning and with her being aggravated with you…"

"I'll manage." He called from the bed, "Thank you for the offer though." She stood in front of him, covered from head to toe with the clothes he ripped off so roughly the night before. Her body was hypnotizing him. "Come here."

"I can't because we don't know how to stop." She grinned widely, "Tonight."

"Tonight." He agreed.

XXX

Dear Diary,

I'm afraid to ask him what we're doing because I'm scared he might say, "Hanging out", "chillin'" or something along the lines of that- except, probably in his sophisticated vernacular. I'm a liar, a fraud, and most of all a betrayer. I wanted him dead a mere three months ago and now I'm falling into bed with him like sex is going out of style. What does that say about me? I know as soon as we defeat Silas, Klaus will be my friend's main problem. It's like I see the heartbreak coming from a mile away but I'm too stupid to let go. I've lied to Bonnie, Caroline, Jeremy and everyone else- they ask me, "Where are you going?", and "Where were you last night?" and I tell them I was out walking, I was out driving…I was applying for colleges and thinking about the future. I am a fraud because I complain about him and insist I hate him when I could never hate him again and I am a betrayer because I've let down my friends and my family even if they are unaware of what I've done.

I tried reminding myself that Klaus is a serial killer. I tried making a playlist that reminded me he was a serial killer but you know what happened? I changed the song to something that fits my ideal relationship with him… I've never been so confused.

I could accept there were vampires. I could accept there were witches. I could accept there were werewolves. Hell, I could accept I was a doppelganger and that my brother was a vampire hunter. But I cannot for the life of me accept that I have genuine feelings for a monster…because if I do, then my whole life changes more than it already has… if I admit for a second that I want something more with him than I'm the bad person.

Plus, if things are doomed than how do you move on from the most powerful vampire in the world? How does anyone else live up to that? I don't want to ruin my life for something that has a 30% chance of working out.

I don't want to be the antagonist of my love story because Klaus is an expert in bed.

Elena.

She slammed the cover of her diary, running a hand through her hair before she decided it was time to take a shower. She needed to get ready for the "night of her life", at least that's what Klaus said on the back of her invitation. His exact words were:

Dearest Elena,

I want to dance with you for a life time/Hold you close to my heart/Stop the hands of time/Make the world give us a little more time/ To feel our bodies close swaying together/To music that only we can hear/Letting it sweep us into Heaven/ Come, dance with me there

Be prepared for the night of your life, love.

-Klaus.

She washed in vanilla scented shower gel, thinking about the last few days. The heat they produced was unlike anything she'd ever felt. She never wanted it to end. The deep immeasurable sensation of their two bodies connected by their physical and emotional attraction was desirable beyond reasonability. If Klaus and she could have a normal relationship, she would tell her best friends about the amazing sex she'd been having lately. Klaus was beyond gratifying. They were both attractive people and physically compatible-that was common knowledge. Elena blushed every time she thought of his length. He was far more "blessed" than her previous partners when it came to size. It was highly pleasurable.

She removed herself from the shower, afraid she would run out of time to get ready. She had to curl her soft brown hair- she hated to admit that she found Katherine's hairstyle beautiful…either way, that's what she desired. She'd gotten tired with the flat, parted down the middle hair after her transformation. That hairstyle was too safe- too bland.

She'd picked out a glamorous ball room dress, knowing it wouldn't matter how she looked 30 minutes after her arrival. She used a brown eye shadow that had a glitter metallic look to it. She believed it brought out her eyes. She hoped that Klaus would find her beautiful. She felt so insecure when she thought about his previous lovers- even if she didn't know their faces… she imagined they were beautiful. She could conclude that some were more promiscuous than her, better than her when it came to sex. They were probably everything she wasn't and a million times more beautiful.

Her fears were irrational. Her logic was far more appropriate for the situation rather than her teenage girl emotions. If Klaus has sex with her, he finds her attractive. If he finds her attractive, she has nothing to be insecure about. It was simple.