Love. Robin knew that someone could love another person, she loved her siblings more than anything in the world. She knew that people could be in love, her parents had the most passion and lived for one another. But Robin thought that no one would ever be in love with her. She was used to being. . . well being used. She knew that Jake had used her, but she used him as well, he was around and she hated being lonely. Grant, well they had used one another for comfort that support and on many occasions they used one another to fill a need and lust. But James was standing there, looking her dead in the eyes, and telling her that he was in love with her. Robin could feel herself blush, feel the smile that was coming to her face. This man, the man who she had not known a month ago, was telling her that he was in love with her, that he had a place in his heart and was meant for her, that he had strong feelings for her. But Robin could also feel the pit in her stomach, the butterflies growing bigger and bigger, was she feeling love? Was love when you looked at someone and when they smiled you felt like the sun was shinning on you even in the middle of the night? Was love the way that she would do anything for James and he would do anything for her? What the hell, was love the way that he put up with all of her crap and she helped him through his memories?
" Don't feel any pressure to say it back." James said as she pulled him in with all of the force that she had in her body, the way that she still felt the fireworks go off when their lips pressed, the way that he would smile when they kissed and she would instantly wrap her arms around him. That, that had to be love. Or atleast some form of love, the kind that she was looking for.
" I love you too. I think that I did from the moment that you saved my life. From the moment that you came into my life I knew that there was something different from all of the other guys that I had had in my past and you. But you know, no pressure to sweep me off of y feet again." Robin said as James chuckled, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her off of the wardrobe and bringing her to the bed.
They had spent the night together, just sleeping, grasped tightly into one anthers arms. They were both desperate to keep one another safe and sound, knowing that they were loved, knowing that they had someone who would understand then fully, they both wanted to make sure that that was there by the time that the sun came around once again. That it would not just vanish away like all of the nightmares that they both had. Robin found that when the sun rose though, that James was still by her side, him lightly playing with her hair, twirling it and spinning it around as lightly as he could to keep from waking her, both knowing that there was no need for her to go into work when she could just do it all from home. She smiled up to him as he lightly placed a hand on her face, her allowing herself to sink into the touch, every if it was a little cool, she was happy that he was finally touching her with his metal hand.
" You have any good dreams last night?" Robin asked as she stretched.
" Yeah." James said with a sort of smile that just made her giggle.
" Uh huh, and what was that dream about? You look like a child that got caught doing something that they know that they shouldn't be doing and trust me, I have seen enough of that look to know it when it see it." Robin chuckled.
" Just you." He whispered as she kissed him lightly, only moving inches away from his lips after.
" And what about me?" She whispered, teasing him a bit by how close they were.
" You face. You eyes and your smile mostly. The way that when you are happy it seems like you can just light up the world with a single smile. And your voice, when you sing, man, it sounds like angels calling to me." He whispered as Robin just blushed.
" I think that you had been sleeping for a little to long and you are now getting my voice all mixed up with someone else. You remember my voice, you know the one that sounds like a dying cat? The one that sounds like someone is murdering another with a chainsaw? Or basically a trip to the dentist. That. That is my voice." Robin smiled as she pulled herself out of bed, strutting out of the room.
" You are so full of lies." James said as Robin just shook her head and chuckled.
" You only hear what you want to hear." James called back.
" Or you ready to face your demons today? I swear to you that Steve is a good man." Robin yelled back with a smile still on her face from the kitchen. " You can ask Cecilia all about him. I used to know this guy, he loved Cap, he was a real big fan of him. Had the whole collectors set of card and everything. Him and Celie would talk about him for hours a few years back, when Celie was first starting to talk. I blame him for most of the obsession that Celie has over the Avengers." Robin said, the smile fading as she remembered the man, the last family friend she really had.
" Yeah, and what happened to this reference?" James asked as he came out of the hallway.
" He. . . he died. One of the only casualties that happened for S.H.I.E.L.D in the battle of New York. The Asgardian took him out." Robin shrugged as she tried not to remember it.
" I. . . I'm sorry to hear about it." James said, trying to sound more comforting.
" Eh, I guess that it was best for Coulson, an honorable death." Robin said as she shook her head lightly. " So, you ready to face your demons today, or what? I bet you can have a thousand different stories to tell Celie by the end of the day. Hell, just listening to Steve talk about the things that you two used to do may be good for you. Make you remember some of those old things that you used to do together, Bucky." Robin smiled as she felt his hands wrap around her waist, bringing her body into his.
" Don't call me that." He whispered.
" Why, only your ex-boyfriend gets to call you that?" Robin said as she felt James chuckle.
" No, because you are the only one that gets to call me James." Robin blushed lightly as she felt a little honored. " So do you think that we should go?" He asked, looking for her for all of the answers.
" Yeah, I mean I know that he is a good man, he was your best friend at some point, and he may have some of the answers that I know that I do not have." Robin said as Bucky thought about it for a moment.
" Fine. Let's go then." James smiled as he picked her up and started to bring her back into the bedroom,
" This so is not going to Captain America's place." Robin laughed as James threw her onto the bed.
" Well, you do need to get dressed for the occasion and for that you need to get out of those things." He said with a pleased look on his face.
" Oh yeah? And you gonna help me out of these things?" Robin said, lightly lifting up her shirt.
" Was planning on it, Ma'am." James said with a wink.
It had been decided for them really, they were going to go for a run and then they were to go out to eat someplace nearby. James and Steve took off as if they were both bullets, and even Robin could tell, they had been best friends from the start. Robin got to run around with Sam, who ended up to be a really nice guy when he wasn't chasing you around. Each time they would run around the two slower runners, one would scream 'on your left' the other would scream 'on your right.' Sam would make a fuss, which Robin learned was just something that he did now because we was what they had done the first time that they had ran together. Each time that James would run by, he would kiss Robin on the cheek, even though she was sweaty and knew that she was pretty gross smelling as well. She would blush and he would start running to try and catch up to Steve, who would be about a half a mile ahead of them already. Robin learned pretty quickly that there was no way of catching up with them. By the time that Sam and Robin had ran 5 miles, Steve and James had already ran 15 miles, at least.
Robin had to basically drag the three of them into Anja's because it was so unhealthy. But Robin felt like she was about to pass out from the lack of food in her system plus the run that she had done and was craving some of Anja's doughnuts. When Anja first saw James and Robin come in she clapped her hands together, happy to see that the two were still a couple, and yelled to the back to make some more doughnuts, quick. But when she saw that Steve Rogers had come into her store, she tried to close the store so that it would be just the four of them in there. Robin could tell, this woman had been through hell during the World War. Steve tried to tell her that it was okay, that he was happy with being around people, but she would not have any of it. She also called out that everything that they wanted was going to be on the house, making it even more awkward as they all sat around a large table. Robin looked back and wished she could have sat at her normal booth, but the four of them would not fit around it. As James and Steve went off talking about something or another, Robin studied Sam.
" We met before?" She finally asked, breaking the conversation that had been going on with Steve and James.
" Nah, I really don't think that we have." Sam said through a bite of lemon filled doughnut with powered sugar on top.
" You were from S.H.I.E.L.D, weren't you?" Robin asked with a smile on her face. She could just tell.
" Do you tell everyone where we came from before I even get to properly meet a girl?" Sam asked, his head wiping to Steve who just shook his head.
" You know how some people have a gaydar? Well I have that plus a S.H.I.E.L.D agentdar. The only person who I think could ever fool me would be Black Widow." Robin nodded as she crossed her around around her chest, proud of herself.
" So, what did you used to work for them too? You seem a little too young to be working for them." Sam said with a smile on his face.
" No. I would never even make it past basic training before I would have punched someone in the face. Or killed them, never really know when it comes down to who the hell your S.O. would be really. Anyway, my parents were Jason and Ivy Blake." Robin said, most people knew them when she said their name, this man was no different as he looked from Steve to Robin.
" Jason and Ivy! Holy crap! I have heard about their kids and I knew that the oldest was beautiful but man, I would have never thought that the rumors would have been that true about you! Listen, your dad was one of the best that I ever got to work with and your mom, man she was something all on her own! When they actually got to work together, they were like a super tag team without any powers! Steve, these two were like master assassins, top of the league!"
" They were pretty good." Robin said with a smile.
" Pr-pretty good? No, no they were the best. I swear to you, Nat, she learned some of her moves from Ivy. Like really, they would have been amazing to watch fighting one another. I bet that this girl has a little fight in her, doesn't she Buck-" Sam was in the middle of gently hitting Robin when he looked up from that and starred right to James, a look of fear in his eyes.
" What is it? You afraid that if you hit me too hard that Imma break?" Robin questioned with a smile.
" The Winter Solider killed James and Ivy Blake." Sam whispered as he looked from James to Robin.
" Man, have I heard that a lot of times." Robin rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her coffee.
" How can you live with it though? Knowing that he did that to your. . ." Sam asked as his faced dropped, knowing something that seemed like Robin was the only one who didn't know.
" She doesn't know. Does she?" Steve said as he pulled something out of the bag that he had been carrying and gave it to Bucky, it was a folder and from what she could tell it was written in Russian.
" What's that?" Robin asked with a hopeful smile as James opened it and it looked like he had seen a ghost as he shut it almost instantly.
" My past." James said as he looked up to Robin, there was a true look of fear in his eyes.
" We'll make it through this together though. We're a team, remember?" Robin whispered as she placed her hand over the table and on top of his.
" Robin, there is something that I need to tell you about. Something that I have been meaning to tell you about for awhile and well. . . well I just didn't know how." James said as Robin just looked to him.
" This just turned into a soap opera." Sam said as Robin looked from him before she felt James's thumb lightly wrap around hers.
" Well then go on." Robin gulped, she was pretty nervous about what he was going to tell her.
" I. . . I am the Winter Solider." James said with a light nod.
" Wh- what? No. The Winter Solider is just something that I made up to scare kids at night, it's something that the S.O.'s at S.H.I.E.L.D tell to their little newbies to train them and to keep them quite. Don't tell me lies." Robin said with a smile as James looked her dead in the eyes.
" You weren't my mission." He said to her as she dropped her hands and placed them over her mouth, she instantly started to feel sick.
" You aren't my mission." That is what he has whispered to her.
Her parents killer when she had walked into the room. She had found them lying on the ground with the windows opened. She heard the gun click, she knew that if she would have taken one more step she would have ended up just like them, on the ground with a pool of blood around her head. Robin had looked the man dead in the eyes, that had been the only part of him that she had been able to see, his brown eyes as she whispered why he did not kill off her and her siblings right then and there. That's when he had whispered what he had said to her, only Robin being able to hear it as he left from the same window he must have came in from. The last thing that she had seen from him was those big brown eyes with some flecks of blue in them, the hurt and rage from within them. As Robin looked over the table she felt her heart drop as she backed her seat away from the table, unable to breath as she start to feel the tears coming from her eyes as she just shook her head.
" No. . . no no no!" She cried out, it was the only words that she seemed to be able to say. " No! You. . . you are James, you are the man that saved me from. . . from being killed. You are the love of my life. You. . . you take care of me and my siblings, you are the rock to my life. You are not a murder! You. . . you didn't have to debate not killing me! No! James no!" She cried out as she just kept shaking her head.
" Robin, I'm so sorry." James whispered as he tried to come around and touch her, making her smack him away as she got up from her seat.
" Don't touch me! Don't tell me that you are sorry! You killed my parents! You thought about killing me and my siblings as well! If I would have been your mission, you would have ended my life as well." Robin cried out, unable to see through the tears. " I'm going to be sick." Robin whispered as she turned away from the man.
" Robin, please! It was not like I had a choice! I. . . I did what they told me to and did not think about it. They would give me a target and I would do it! No matter what." James pleaded to the girl, wrapping his hand around her shoulder as she screamed, smacking it away and backing away from him.
" No! You machine! Don't. . . don't touch me!" Robin cried out. " Don't say my name! Don't touch me! Don't come back to my apartment!" Robin cried out as she ran from the doughnut shop, running as fast as she feet could take her, running until she could not see anymore and running until she knew that James could not see her anymore. Running until she just dropped to the ground and sobbed as hard as she could. So this was what it felt like to be in love and have your heard smashed.