Sorry for such a delay in an update, here's the next installment. I'm rubbish at building the tension .

As Caroline pulled into the drive her head was pounding what the hell had she done, she had pushed Kate away she had done what she swore she would stop doing. She had shut her out, consumed in her self what she wanted not even talking about it. She kicked the kitchen table hard with her foot as finally she had scoured the house and found no Kate insight, and most of her things gone.

"Christ Caroline, you prat" she shouted to herself if she had said to Kate she just needed to think, Kate would have let her. Why did she have to ignore her calls, and ignore talking to Kate, avoided her in general how pathetic no wonder shed left. Caroline sank to the kitchen floor grabbing the bottle of wine from the side board as her body descended, who am I kidding if I was Kate I'd run a mile who would want me. Fucked up, disjunction, emotionally incapable, inept, bloody lost cause!

After several attempts to talk to his mother without success, as she sat tearful and now rather drunk on the kitchen floor, lawerence wasn't sure what to do. He hadn't seen his mother like this even with his dad, she never reacted so badly it dawned on him just how happy his mum was with Kate how much she loved her.

In the early hours of the morning Caroline had dragged herself from the floor moving to the lounge, she had been searching for a corkscrew and came across a packet of Johns cigarettes. Alongside the spare corkscrew she laughed "go figure" she went to the back door and lit one. Taking a long drag holding it in her mouth as she used both hands to open what was now the third bottle. She felt her head rush she hadn't had a cigarette since university but some how she felt calmed the feel of something in her hands.

ill have to start smoking, my Kate substitute she thought realizing she missed the feel of Kate, her body against her, her hand in her her lips on hers she felt so utterly empty.

Eventually emotional and sleepy her body won the fight and she crawled into her bed fully clothed. She awoke the following morning drowsy and feeling rotten by the ringing of her phone, she almost fell out of bed to grab her phone, praying it was Kate responding to her hundred drunken voice mails last nite. "Kate" she pressed it to her ear "hi Caroline no it Gillian" "oh hello" her voice flatter her heart broken again, the disappointment clear in her voice. "Why where's Kate, is she not with you?", "no by the time I got home, shed left! Gillian she's left me, taken her things and gone!".

"oh Caroline ... I'm sure she..." "Nope I've blown it, she's seen through me and I've lost her". Caroline's voice faltered "I've got to go Gillian", "Caroline wait". Caroline hung up, flinging her self back under the duvet.

"mum your going to be late for school"

"I'm not going"

"you have to go in" Lawrence said incredulously.

"I'm the boss and I say I don't"

Caroline turned away closing her eyes as she heard the front door close she let the hot tears scald her face.

Lawrence returned from school to find his mum still in bed and the same the next two days After that. She wasn't eating wasn't talking, wasn't leaving her room at all and when she did she was monosyllabic, Zombie like.

It was 3days since Kate had left, Lawrence grabbed his bike and rode the 15 minute journey to Kate's house. Lawrence knocked on the door and waited... And waited. He concluded Kate wasn't in and sat against her front door burying his head in his hands, how could he be here again he knew it was selfish and he hated seeing his mum unhappy. But from his point a view he had had a miserable mum a pathetic father who had left and then he had a happy mum and loved having Kate around although he would never tell her that. Now he was alone again Kate left, dads still gone and mum so sad she no longer even pretended to be fine. Without any control the tears filled his eyes he felt so alone, why was everything so hard all the time.

As Kate walked around the corner she was surprised to see Lawrence huddled on her door step "Lawrence" she pulled him into her embrace "I miss you Kate, mums miserable she hasn't got out of bed since you left". "Oh Lawrence you best come in" she pulled him close and sat at the kitchen table drinks in had "Kate please fix this, my family has all ready fallen apart once, Ive not seen mum like this EVER.. What were you even fighting about".

Kate heart thumped in her chest she had known getting involved with Caroline was complicated but she had never thought how attached shed become to the boys. How much she'd grow to love them like her own, and now what never to see them again...not to care anymore! What had she expected to have rights to see them at weekends.

"Lawrence I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for any of this to happen" she felt awful as she watched his down created face. "so fix it Kate please", "Lawrence I'm sorry I'm here for you but me and your mum I just don't know right now".

Lawrence threw his chair back "your a liar, you said you loved her and wouldn't hurt her. She's risked her whole life, the life she knew for you. She's told people she was with you a lesbian at 46! Told her family excepted the judgements the jokes from my dad because she loves you and you said you loved her. For what ...for a few months in you to run away, Oh very grown up Kate, great role model. Let me and mum and William love you then turn your back and leave."

"Lawrence...her hand out reached as he pulled his body away further out of reach "Lawrence I..I"

A wave of anger "Save it Kate, do you know what's worse is at least mum being miserable for the last 20 years as she says .. She knew where she was, who she was and just got on with it. Now you come and change everything you bring her to life and now, she's not even there anymore. Everything is different there is no going back now she knew what it was like to be happy she knows what's she lost.

You won't even talk to her.. She came back to talk and see you and apologize because I spoke to Gillian who she went to talk to and when she came back you were gone. Won't even ring her back. I've listened to her every night since you left cry herself to sleep, then cried myself to sleep. Do you even care?".

kate opened her mouth to speak and closed it again shed never seen Lawrence so fired up, so in his mothers corner.

"I don't know what you've fallen out about.. But I swear your breaking her heart so fix it" he shouted his face red the tears falling down his face, his breath fast. She moved towards him but he turned away from her. "If you've ever cared about her ...or me .." He turned away from her and ran from her front door.

Kate caught up with Lawrence grabbing his wrist "car, now its quicker" he looked confused but followed her into her car.

"Kate .."

"shhh" she patted his leg reassuringly.