This is not exactly my favorite chapter, but it is needed as a bridge, so here it is. I'll get the connecting chapter up soon.

Enjoy and please review!!!

# 25 Return

Stumbling slightly with fatigue, Kirra adjusted the shawl that had slipped from her shoulders as she made her way through the village to her quarters. It was cold out and she had had a long night and equally long day. She was all ready to have a bath and wash off some of the stink that permeated her clothes and hair. She looked down at her dress; it would never be the same again. It was smeared with blood and other birthing fluids. Childbirth may be a beautiful thing, but it sure was messy -- and smelly. She grimaced, it would probably be better to just burn the dress and get another made.

She sighed and rubbed at her cold face, life here was so wearying. The grind never ended; it was no wonder that people died young. It would take a good two weeks to get another dress. She didn't have a lot of money, either. This was definitely not what she needed at this moment. What she wouldn't give for a credit card and a store full of pre-made dresses. She knew it was a totally unhelpful thought, but damn it!

As she neared the square, she noticed a crowd forming. Her previously foul mood lightened somewhat, a crowd here meant that people were coming from the road. It could be that Gawain and the others were finally home. One of Vanora's brood ran up to Kirra, fairly quivering in excitement and Kirra knew she was right. The child grabbed Kirra's hand and dragged her to where the older woman stood with the rest of the children.

Vanora looked Kirra up and down, "Well, that will sure be some greetin' Gawain gets," and grinned at Kirra's look of consternation.

"They are here already?"

"Aye, and just waitin' to be dismissed." Vanora shifted her weight and freed a lock of fiery hair from Ten's pudgy hand.

"You okay, Van?" She moved to look into Vanora's eyes.

"Just tired, is all."

Kirra smiled and touched her friend's arm, feeling a dizzying wave of exhaustion pass through her already weary body as she did so. Shaking her head to clear it, she asked, "Does that help any?"

Van nodded gratefully as she felt a surge of energy.

"I'll send something over to help you sleep."

Vanora patted Kirra's hand, "I could have really used that when I was pregnant with the twins. I don't think I slept at all."

"Which set?" Kirra asked with a mischievous smile and side-stepped the older woman when she reached out to cuff her.

Kirra giggled, "Sorry. I am sure you could have, but I guess you were just not a good enough girl back then. Or perhaps it was Bors' fault. You know of anything he could have done to prevent me from coming earlier?"

The woman rolled her eyes, "Kirra lass, you don't have enough time today to hear all the things that man's put me through."

"Well, just be sure that he knows it is his fault then."

"Aye, that I will. So, how was the birthin'?" Van asked.

Kirra wearily pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, "It was long -- almost too long. I'm amazed that they waited that long to come and get me. It was just torture on Octavia and they were lucky the baby came through unscathed."

Vanora shook her head in disapproval, "Well, you know as well as I that the Romans are resistant to anything that the likes of us have to offer, especially when we are calling on the goddess for help. You need to be careful in your dealin's with them." The older woman cautioned with a frown. "I am surprised that Gawain and Tristan even let you work with them."

"They are too busy to worry much about that, Van and I don't tell them, either." Kirra retorted sharply.

Vanora didn't respond, only gazed mildly back at the young woman. She knew what was bothering Kirra. Comments like she had made, tended to make the girl cranky. It chafed at her, that men made decisions concerning her. It didn't help that she had been denied accompanying the men again -- something Vanora couldn't understand, why such a lovely, innocent, little wisp of a girl should desire to be exposed to what the knights were forced to do.

Vanora shook her head wryly when Kirra looked away, no she didn't understand at all, but she did feel sympathy for the girl who had been raised to think so differently from her. It didn't help that her brother and lover had been gone such a long time this time, either.

Kirra looked down at her dress again; she knew she was a mess. It was really not the way that she would have chosen to meet Gawain after so long apart and it had been too long since she had seen him. Felt his arms around her, heard his voice whispering in her ear as he made love to her. It was beginning to take its toll on her. The smallest things were able to set her off.

She missed him fiercely when he was gone and it never seemed to get any easier. When he was gone, she seemed a bit off, as if her balance was gone or – and this was closer to the truth – her sun was disappeared.

"Do I really look that bad, Van?"

"Aye Kirra, you do, lass, and you smell too."

Well, the woman was honest; Kirra had to give her that.

"Have any suggestions?"

Van pursed her lips and thought; she was interrupted when the children let out a collective yell and darted off. It seemed the men had been dismissed and they had caught sight of their father.

Kirra waved her friend off, "Don't worry about it. I'll just have to stink and he'll just have to like it." She grinned as Bors caught sight of his lover and proceeded to grope her thoroughly while kissing her obscenely. Ten was in serious danger of being squished.

"Take it home will you or at least let the baby down so there's no permanent mental trauma. There are so few good psychiatrists here."

Bors turned and grinned at her, "Jealous are we?"

"Oh Bors, you know I am always jealous when it comes to you and other women." Kirra replied deprecatingly, before moving away. She paused and looked back when she heard Bors yell after her. He was laughing.

"You'll be getting yours soon enough, girl."

Kirra chuckled and looked down at herself again. Not likely.

Pausing for a moment on the threshold of the stable, she let her eyes get used to the dim interior. Lancelot passed her carrying his pack and eyed her, Kirra held up her hand, "Not one word, or the next time you come in, I'll let it rot."

He gave her his most winning smile, "I wouldn't dream of saying anything, beautiful lady." He gave a mocking bow and strode away, no doubt congratulating himself on getting the best of her – this time.

Kirra rolled her eyes. Some day, she vowed, I will make that man so pay. She looked around for Finn. Maybe she would sneak the huge dog into Lancelot's room and let Finn terrorize him a bit. Bring the arrogant bastard down to size. It would be even better if he was bringing a woman friend back with him. Kirra smiled at the thought.

Dagonet saw her dreamy grin and took it to mean something else, "I think he is still in Drea's stall."

Kirra blinked in confusion, "Who?"

"Gawain," Dag stopped, taking in her haggard appearance. "You feelin' all right, sweetheart?"

"Yeah, it was a long night. Thanks for asking."

Dag waited quietly for her to explain.

"Long, tricky birth, oh, but no worries. Everyone came out fine." She added hastily when she saw his brow crease in concern. She touched the big man's arm, "Glad you're home, Dag, but I am sure that you have more important things to worry about than me. Or at least you should."

Dag chuckled good naturedly at the not so subtle brush-off and watched the girl make her way across the stable to Drea's stall, where she knew Gawain would be. He turned and left when he saw her jump at his brother and stand motionless for several long moments tightly wrapped in the fair knight's arms.

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Gawain was checking his weapons and didn't see Kirra, so was surprised when something small, and smelling of something men just didn't want to know about, flung itself into his arms.

He wrapped his arms around her as she laid her head against his chest and shivered at the feeling of homecoming. He kissed the top of her head when she sighed against him, then opened his mouth and promptly ruined the moment, "Well, that's an interesting scent."

The moment he said it he knew, in the way that all men know when they have said something to their woman that was better left unsaid, that he should have kept his mouth shut. He gave himself a mental kick to the head and prepared himself for the impending onslaught. It didn't really come like he thought it would, which was worse.

Kirra stiffened and pulled away, her eyes hardening into ice as she folded her arms over her chest and retorted scathingly, "And you're spring roses." Then she turned on her heel and stalked away in the direction of the barracks.

Gawain gave a great sigh and rubbed his jaw. There was no way that she was going to even talk to him tonight, much less make love to him and he had missed her more during this mission then he ever had any other. Not that he didn't always miss her, but this time had just been with more longing.

The last few miles of the ride home had been the most difficult. He had been so close yet still so far from her and now, when he had her safe and in his arms; he'd gone and destroyed what would have been a wonderful welcome home. He watched her tell off Galahad for a moment before collecting his scattered possessions and followed her.

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Kirra passed Galahad on the way out; Finn had already found him and was wiggling joyfully at his return. It was amazing how the dog had taken to him. Galahad called to her.

"Kirra, I need you to take a look --"

Kirra didn't even pause as she passed, "Galahad, are you bleeding from the eyes, ears, nose, or mouth?"

"No, but I -- "

She continued, "Are you dying?"

"No, but -- "

"Are you able to walk?"

"Yes."

"Then I suggest that you give me five minutes and meet me at the House." Like he knew what five minutes was. Kirra balled her hands into fists and continued her march to her quarters.

She was in such a fury that she didn't see Tristan as she passed him. One look at her face was enough to stop him from approaching her and he wondered briefly if that was the way he looked on the battlefield, if so, no wonder people feared him.

Kirra's face was completely blank except for her eyes, which had darkened to almost black. Nothing could be read in them, but her posture and clenched fists told the story of her anger.

He wondered what had been said to produce such a rage and turned around to see Gawain watching his sister's retreat with a bemused expression on his face. Tristan watched silently as Gareth slapped his brother on the back and laughed at him. Hmmm. He made a mental note to go and talk to Kirra before the evening was over. That is, if he could get her to talk to him.