A/N: Ehh, anyone still around to read this fic? ;D A thousand apologies for taking so long to update this, alas, I've been extremely busy lately (as was noted in my profile if any of you checked. And btw, if I go very long not updating in the future, I'll say why in my profile).

Thanks to everyone who's stuck by and read my insanity and followed, reviewed and fav'd it! Love ya guys. ;)

Chapter 11

"M-Mother..." Thor stuttered.

The Queen of Asgard stepped out of the shadows of the night-painted pillars, face unreadable.

The prince shifted awkwardly, something he was so unaccustomed to but couldn't help. "What brings you here- I mean, h-how are you?" He tried smiling, tried pushing away his surprise the same way his younger brother might- How does he do that so easily?

"I might say: 'Speak only truth, my son, for lies are ill fitted to your tongue.' But I see that is not entirely true." Her gaze remained steady, even as her lips twitched in a small smile.

Thor's brows furrowed slightly, uncertain what to say. Then, he suddenly found his words, unable to conceal his surprise any longer. "You? It-It was you?"

The queen inclined her head in acknowledgement. "Who else? He is my son as much as your brother." The darkening in her eyes, ever so slight yet- Thor felt a small shiver run down his spine.

"Of course, but... Why not approach me directly? Why hide in the shadows as-" as Loki might, he couldn't say.

"And why do you hide in the shadows, my son? Darkness has never suited you-" she straightened and breathed deeply. "But this is not the time for this, I have what you came for."

Thor frowned. So strange, this was. He had tried, tried so hard for nearly a month to find the location of his brother. His father refused to speak of it, nor even his mother...at the time, seemingly hiding behind her grief. "But Father..." Thor spoke absent-mindedly, his thoughts and concerns slipping out.

And again, the queen's resolve hardened, yet there was a softness at the core, still. "Your father is blinded in both eyes now. I have spoken to him and even my words fall on deaf ears. He refuses to speak of..." She shook her head, looking down, a small sigh escaping.

"He is...stubborn," said Thor, quietly.

Her eyes flashed, yet still so soft. "He is not the only one." Thor almost smiled, knowing she did not mean only him. "You will take this," she handed him a small wooden box and wrapped cold fingers around his, "and you will find him. I will make no pleas nor appeals to the Norns for you to succeed." A chill ran through Thor at his mother's hard words. "There is no question in my mind that you will succeed. You are my son- but I am a mother of two sons. The worlds are incomplete without two Sons of Odin." Her gaze was unwavering. Her hand retracted and her coldness suddenly left by a burning rage well-concealed behind the practiced eyes of an eternal queen. Still, it was clear she was a mother in this instance, there was no doubt in the thunder god's mind.

Thor moved to leave, questions still warring in his mind like an army attempting to break the borders of his lips. He stopped, feet ready to move. His eyes fell to the floor. "We are..." he didn't turn around, "sons of Frigga, as well." He lifted his head, still not turning. "Now more than ever."

His feet carried him away, toward what, he didn't know. Loki, brother, where are you?

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

"You okay over there, blondie?" said Stark, so suddenly Thor nearly jumped. The billionaire smirked. Jumpy, much? he thought. Tony tried to find it funny but it only made him nervous; if the god of thunder was jumpy... What should the rest of them be feeling?

Thor's eyes flitted to his as he ran a tired hand through his hair. "Nothing, Stark."

A knowing nod. "Right. Nothing. Sure," his voice lilted. He raised both hands. "Don't let me interfere with whatever you're doing over there; it's not like we're stuck here together and I- I repeat, I -might die or anything." He waved a dismissive hand, looking away pointedly. Thor said nothing and Tony couldn't see his face. "No need to console me or anything." Still nothing. Damn. Maybe he should try something else? A depressed Thor wouldn't help him- either of them, at all. Nope. "Say," he said cheerfully and looked toward the god, "what's going on with you and Jane, lately? She's still hot, I assume."

Thor shrugged a little but didn't meet Tony's gaze, mind still wandering- or at least he hoped that's what was happening. And what was his deal, anyway? Since he didn't even need to breathe, apparently, it wasn't as if he would be dying anytime soon, Tony couldn't help but think, slightly bitter at his near-indestructible friend.

"Well?" Tony tried again. I'm pretty sure he knows what 'hot' means by now... In the past, trying to even hint that Tony was interested in Jane made the thunder god...well, a bit frightening to be around. Thor didn't seem to act that way when Jane herself was around, oddly, but, he supposed, the god thought Tony was being disrespectful or something when she wasn't present. For a guy bent on being a walking, talking white knight cliche, he was strangely willing to let Jane fight her own battles- at least of wit. Tony never meant anything by it- and Jane always gave him a humorous verbal lashing, which neither of them took seriously -it was just too easy to push the god's buttons and then act as if he didn't know what the problem was. Tony sighed. He missed that Thor.

"What is wrong with you?" Thor said suddenly, slight annoyance in his voice.

"Me? What's wrong with me?" Tony laughed. "Yeah. 'Cause it's not as if you've been moping over there for the past hour or anything- seriously, what's your deal? It's not as if you can die here-"

Thor stood up abruptly, Tony didn't know what to make of it. "You will not die." He backed down a little. "Fury and the rest of SHIELD will find us before that happens."

"Wow," said Tony, sarcastically. "I didn't think you had that much faith in our favorite pirate- Is this where I worry about you secretly being a spy for SHIELD 'cause I have this bet going with-"

"Stark," Thor sighed heavily, features suddenly so weary, face tilted down.

Tony paused, almost refused to move lest the god's train of thought be interrupted.

"Do you-" Thor started, "Do you believe Loki can ever fully recover?" His glassy eyes met Stark's, and suddenly, more than ever, Tony wanted to be out of here. Maybe I could re-check that panel over there...for the millionth time.

A line of expletives ran through his mind before he managed to open his mouth. And, damn, clearly this wasn't just about the trickster god's physical well-being. "Uh..." he said eloquently. "Um, uh..." Thor stared at him, eyes sad and expectant. Stop looking at the damn puppy eyes, Stark! What do I look like, Asgard's equivalent of a therapist? Can I see the future now? What the hell, Thor?

Unfortunately, Tony's hesitance had gone on too long. Thor's eyes closed as he nodded sadly. "As I thought."

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

He wasn't trained for this. No, no he wasn't. Combat. Combat was good. Shooting a gun, that was okay, although he preferred his shield. Giving orders, taking them, fighting for those who couldn't, eating apple pie and saluting the flag. All that, he could do. Easy as the pie he had just eaten, but this...

Loki remained on the floor, curled up in a ball and sobbing- and it was so sad that Steve was slightly glad that the god could cry now. What was he supposed to do? Comfort him? Sit down and...do what? Should he do what Thor would? No, he quickly dismissed that thought. Loki had lashed out or freaked out every time Steve had touched him, why should now be any different?

Still not knowing what to do but determined to see it through whatever it took, Steve, slowly, sat down next to Loki, although remained a step away and didn't touch the god. He rested his wrists on his knees and looked around, uncertain what to do next. Sitting here like a log seemed a pointless endeavor, yet what was he to do?

"Loki," Steve sighed to himself, hanging his head, "what should I do." Leave him be, perhaps. Or, do something? Were those his only options? Leave him alone- alone, like he probably had been for so long, or try to help him and be rejected, pushed away as the unwanted hands, not his brother. Only two options. Reject him or be rejected.

Steve stared straight ahead. He narrowed his eyes when he caught sight of something red against the wall- not against, inside, and not the wall, the broken closet.

What is that?

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

...He hates me. What other explanation was there? Loki didn't want to think, didn't want to think because that was all he'd done for so long. So quiet, so quiet and there's nothing but darkness nothing, nothing but me and there's no one here, or there, or anywhere. Why couldn't there be anyone? There was only pain, pain everywhere. He couldn't remember if there had been anything after the Serpent, the hiss the only bright point in the endless dark of his life. No Thor no Thor, there's no Thor not here not there-

He held himself tighter, hugged his knees to his chest and tried not to wonder why the cold metal wasn't digging into his limbs and neck. Nothing here- no one, just me- No! Not me, there's no me no me and no them, where am I? He grabbed his head and pulled his hair. I can't- I...can't just can't- Nothing to guide me, can't get out-

A softness grazed his cheek. Loki ignored it, a fabrication of his pained mind, no doubt. He clenched his teeth beneath his tired lips and held his head tighter.

The softness returned, cool against the skin of his face, and next, on his hands that gripped far too tightly and made his head hurt. When it happened a third time Loki flinched back, realizing it was happening and that the soft thing wasn't going anywhere.

For a moment, nothing happened, then, slowly, the cloth rubbed softly against his arms, lightly falling over him. It didn't cover him but it rested on him, not heavy but not very light, either.

What is this-? A little more of it was pushed, gently, into his arms. Suddenly, Loki realized there was someone else in the room with him. Who is-? He jumped up and scooted away quickly, although his back hit something- the bed.

And again, nothing happened for a moment. Slowly, almost cautiously, but with a certain determination, the cloth again slipped onto him, this time draped awkwardly over his pulled-up knees.

Loki tried to understand. He remembered now where he was, in the tower- Avengers Tower, with none other than the Avengers themselves, and Thor- Thor-

Suddenly realizing what it was, the cloth, the cloth, Loki ripped it off his legs and threw it away. No! No! He flared his nostrils in annoyance, feeling something wet falling down his face. He's not here! He doesn't get to- It wasn't a substitute for him, it wasn't Thor. But somehow, again, the cloth was placed on his knees. Loki felt a protest sound roughly in his throat as he again ripped the cloth off and toward whomever was repeatedly giving it back to him.

Stop it! Loki's mind screamed. He tried to turn away, tried to get away, but the bed was in the way and Loki couldn't summon the will to push passed it or go around. No no no no no, I can't- I can't see the red, I don't want to! Thor was gone and he wouldn't be coming back. Loki was alone, would always be alone. That was the way of things.

It slipped onto his knees again.

Stop! Stop! Stop!

He pushed it away, angry, eyes burning with- with... Crying... I'm-I'm crying. He shook his head fiercely. Doesn't matter! He won't come back!

The red thing, so soft and familiar-

He threw it off.

It came back.

He threw it away.

It came back.

Loki cried out, even through his stitches, begging the person to stop. He tried to hide himself against the bed but he couldn't make himself smaller. He's gone, gone, gone...

It smelled like him. Smelled like brother. His mind refused to comply; he could see the red of the cloth, even now in his mind's eye, a phantom through the darkness he swam in, drowned in. No please...

He tried to throw it away again but it stuck in his clenched fist, in the air, waiting, waiting for him to discard it. But before he could, before his fingers could let go and give in, give up- I am Loki. I am no one's brother. I am no one's son. I am...lost -fingers, so solid and determined, so unlike him, not like me, wrapped around his hand. Through his despair, through everything and nothing, Loki couldn't back away, couldn't flail and scream at the one gripping his hand.

Let go, let go.

You've let go one too many times.

I can't do this, can't- can't do this without him, without Thor.

We're here, you're not alone. Not alone.

No one ever came for me.

He did. He did and he'll do it again.

(The cloth didn't slip...)

Don't let go, Loki. Do it for him. Do it for you.

(He held it to himself.)

No.

Yes.

Can't-

You can, you will.

I-

Red surrounded him. Splash of color in the dark. Dark... For the first time, it didn't go on forever.

A/N: I wanted to go longer with this but the chapter demanded I stop here. Since I'm less busy nowadays, hopefully I won't take too long with updating from now on (until the holidays, that is, lol).

Hope you guys weren't confused by the last part! If you were, feel free to ask what the heck's going on, or make your own assumption, either way, ehehe.

I really didn't plan on having so much Loki-Steve bonding, but it just came out that way. I guess I feel like Steve is representative of the Avengers as a whole- he's not just their leader, he embodies what they're meant to be, heroes, more than anything, and I believe he does it well.

Until the next!