A/N: I had such a hard time with writing this chapter, not sure why. Angsty chapters are angsty. Ha.

Chapter 14

The door shut quietly behind him, yet still, it sounded so loud, so loud in the quiet and dark of his room. Thor stood there, for a moment, drinking it all in, suddenly afraid of seeing his brother again, unable to acknowledge that Loki had done this, destroyed so much just because Thor had left him. Abandoned him, just when he needed his elder brother the most.

Thor cursed himself, and resisted the urge to curse all of Midgard as well. It wasn't their fault. Yet still... they had pulled Thor away, made him leave his brother when he was still so vulnerable, still so lost.

He hadn't even said goodbye.

Glass and wood crunched under his boots as he slowly walked, the huddled figure in the corner simultaneously calling him and pushing him away.

Loki was draped in Thor's cape, pale face and raven black hair barely visible above the red. He clutched at the fabric and held it tight around him as if it would float away, otherwise, as if it were still an anchor that kept Loki himself from escaping- although to where, Thor couldn't guess.

It was dark here, the lamps broken on the floor and the room's ceiling-lights dim as if Jarvis himself feared this moment.

A loud crunch of glass made Thor look down. Mirror, his mind recognized, and the sight of the reflective pieces made Thor's heart hurt, suddenly. He didn't know why.

Loki flinched as he drew closer, but how could he know? Could Thor's mere presence filter through the trickster's sheltered senses, somehow, even now? It didn't make sense and Thor didn't have the presence of mind to think on it further. His brother was calm but still in distress, he knew, even if the pale eyes reflected nothing but a resigned sorrow.

A sharp intake of breath from the young god furrowed Thor's brow as he stood before him.

"I am sorry, brother," mumbled Thor, his voice small in the quiet gathering around them. He couldn't yet touch him as he fumbled for words. "I am sorry I left... I..."

Loki's eyes blinked, as if trying to see, the crimson cape pulled slightly down as if that would help him sense whatever was happening around him.

But all it took for Thor to abandon his fear was a small questioning whimper from his brother, and suddenly his arms were around the younger, pulling him close and willing him to return the gesture.

Some part of Thor told him it was foolish to be so worried over something so small- of course Loki would know that he wouldn't leave for just any purpose, that his reasons would be important and Loki would know that. Yes. Yes, he would.

At first, there was no response. Loki's breathing was harsh through his nose but he acted as though he didn't know what was happening. Then he made a distressed sound, loud and desperate in his throat that almost sounded like he was being attacked and it clenched Thor's heart to hear it- but Loki was clinging to him, hands trembling and so harsh on Thor's skin and clothing, pulling and scratching. Thor tried to hold on to him properly, to keep his arms around him, but Loki squirmed and writhed, like some animal that wanted out and didn't want to be caged, yet still he clung to Thor, unrecognizable sounds ripped from his throat all the while.

"Loki, Loki, please!" Thor cried. "Please, stop, you'll hurt yourself."

His little brother keened, low in his throat, then tried to push him away with one hand as the other held fast to Thor's armor. He scowled fiercely as tears fell, and- he's crying, he can cry; when did that happen? Thor reached out and wiped the tears, recognizing what it meant- he was indeed healing. But Loki jerked his head away, as far as he could, nose flaring in anger. He made a sound in his throat that clearly said: 'You don't get to do that,' and it made Thor want to hold him even tighter.

"I'm sorry, brother, I should not have left, but..." Why speak to him when he couldn't hear? But the words wouldn't stop as he fought to keep the other in his arms. "But you did so well," he looked around, wondering if that were true. "You were so calm, you did so well... even while I was gone, you took care of yourself." He didn't know if it was true, but he saw the discarded smoothie on the floor, delicately placed there as if it mattered given the state of the room. "Please, stop."

Loki's breaths were strained, in and out as he continued to scowl, continued to fight against himself as he both held tightly to Thor and attempted to push him away. Oh, my brother. What is it like to live in your head? He was trapped in there, like living in a box. He might be able to sense what was outside, that he was being moved or that others spoke, but he could never be a part, never join those outside.

Thor stroked Loki's head, ran his fingers through his dark hair, ignored the strange sounds coming from him. It was obvious he was conflicted, and Thor didn't want to stress his brother any more than he was already enduring. If he wanted to push Thor away, so be it, he would give him space if he wished, but it was all-too clear that Loki couldn't bring himself to let go- he still needed Thor, even, perhaps, to the point of angering himself.

And finally, when Thor cupped the back of his neck to hold him closer, Loki broke down in a sob, leaning in and clutching at Thor's chest. A high-pitched noise escaped him then, as his wide desperate eyes looked up at Thor that said, 'Don't leave.'

Thor nodded and held him, wrapping his arms more fully around the younger and holding him steady. He wanted to say, 'I won't,' but, no matter how desperately he wished to, he still knew he couldn't. That was a promise he couldn't know for certain he could keep, and he would never risk breaking his promise to his brother. Never.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Sleep had been both evading Loki and hounding him at every turn. He was tired, even given his lack of activity of late, but he couldn't bring himself to sleep knowing his brother could return at any moment. He couldn't miss his return, he couldn't, he would remain here, ready and waiting until he returned and embraced Loki and kissed him and everything would be alright again.

Still. He didn't know how to feel about Thor abandoning him- leaving him. He shouldn't be angry with him, he knew, but he also couldn't ignore the despair he felt at being left alone, and so suddenly. But was there any other way Thor could have left? It wasn't as if he could explain whatever was happening... Yet he hadn't said goodbye, even attempted it. What could be his excuse? He ignored the small voice that said he might not ever return, that even if he had meant to, anything could be happening and there was no way to know...

A gust of wind and an almost imperceptible change in air pressure stole Loki's breath away. Something was pressing in on him, a presence so near suddenly. He didn't feel anything yet, no hand on him to guide him, no arms to embrace him, but he somehow knew.

Is that...is this him? He barely dared to hope.

Then, so suddenly it pulled the breath from him, he was surrounded by Brother. He couldn't move, at first, too shocked to do anything but try and gather his thoughts. Could it be? It suddenly seemed like so long, so long that Thor had been gone that Loki had almost forgotten what those arms felt like wrapped around him.

He tried to move his heavy limbs, tried to return the embrace, but his arms wouldn't listen, at least not in the way he wanted. He realized, suddenly, he was angry. His abandonment was catching up to him and the flood of emotions wouldn't stop, even as he actively tried to stem the tide. Not his fault not his fault- but it wasn't helping, he tried to push Thor away-

No! I need him!

A finger trailed along his face and Loki immediately knew what it was for- it was trying to take his tears away.

No! I won't allow you to do that! He felt angry at the hand- the loving, caring hand trying to take his hurt away, because what if that hand went away again? Loki didn't know if he could hold himself up anymore if he went away again; he had been so lost for so long and Thor was there suddenly, there to hold him and take care of him and then, just as suddenly, he was gone. His mind tried to soothe him, to tell him that Thor had only been gone a short while, that he came back in the end, that he would sometimes leave, that it was going to happen, no matter how much he didn't wish it to.

He can't stay with you forever, said a voice. Loki didn't like that voice, he wanted to ignore it.

A hand ran through his hair, softly and with an air of love Loki didn't want to feel right now. He wanted to be angry, to hold to it so he wouldn't be hurt again, to push it away before the gentleness and love could consume him again- because if he lost himself to it, how could he be Loki? Loki who did best when on his own, alone, thriving in the dark- not flailing, no not flailing -without anyone to be with him because that's what he was. That's what it meant to be a traitor and monster and no, I can't, I can't be so alone, I need him, I need Thor- I can't be left here again... Brother, please.

The hand was on the nape of his neck now, always familiar, as if it never left. Loki lunged forward, needing so desperately to feel, suddenly. Strong arms wrapped around, tugging at his heart and making all thoughts fly away, the storm of his brother leaving nothing but a rawness that he somehow needed in this moment.

I love you, I love you, I love you...

Loki rubbed his head against Thor's chest, trying to convey his words in whatever way he could. Thor lifted his face then, peppering kisses across his features and holding him close, as if he were afraid Loki might float away, otherwise.

He knew the words that Thor spoke against the side of his head. He didn't need his ears for that, he already knew. Yet still, Thor repeated them, repeated them until they both sunk onto the bed and, for once, blissful, dreamless sleep followed after them.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Thor ran his calloused fingers through Loki's hair then repeated the gesture in time with his little brother's slow breaths. For once, Loki was truly sleeping; the younger rarely slept, and if he did, he awoke with vicious nightmares that tore the screams from his trapped throat. But now, he seemed at peace and it made a flutter run through Thor's heart at the sight.

Sleep, my brother, sleep...

A light knock on the door caught his ear and he hoped desperately that Loki would not wake. Quietly inviting the visitor in, he recognized the form of Bruce Banner silhouetted in the doorway.

"Hey, Thor," greeted the meek mortal.

Thor acknowledged him with a nod, not wanting to wake his sibling.

Bruce walked in tentatively, looking around. "Wow, I, uh, I knew Loki had destroyed the room but...I wasn't here to actually see it for myself. Jarvis said I should stay away..." he trailed off, his words lingering as if they weren't important and he was here to speak on other matters.

Several awkward moments later, Thor asked, "Was there something you wished to discuss?" Loki stirred but didn't wake.

"Oh, uh. Yeah, actually. But...this is probably a bad time, I can come back later-"

"No, no, it is alright," Thor interrupted. He wasn't sure why, but the mortal's demeanor told him it was probably important. Although he didn't wish to wake Loki, especially when he was sleeping so soundly, he recognized that whatever it was, it could have something to do with his younger brother. "Please," he said cordially, "enter."

Bruce chuckled as he continued looking around. "He really did a number on the room, huh? Guess I can't blame him," he muttered. He walked in, avoiding debris on the floor. "I'm sure you could take one of the other rooms, Tony does have a lot of them-"

"Bruce," Thor cut in, although gently, "was there something important you wished to discuss?" And, again, Loki moved, and Thor decided he could leave his brother's side for the moment, although he wouldn't leave the room. At a reluctant nod from the scientist, Thor carefully set his brother on the pillow he had been sitting on, then sat on the edge of the bed close to his brother's legs. "Would you care to sit?" Thor asked, indicating the other side of the bed.

Bruce's smile was forced but kind. "It's okay, I should probably stand. Not sure how Loki would feel if he accidentally kicked me and knew it wasn't you..." he trailed off and swallowed. "Guess I'll just...get to the point."

Thor watched his friend pace and wring his hands together, as if nervous. That wasn't too strange, except that Banner was typically very calm and unassuming, only showing overt emotion when he was stressed. That was something everyone around him noticed, however small, given what could happen...

"Do you, uh," started the mortal as he grimaced. "You remember when we looked at Loki's injuries, at the scans Jarvis took?" Thor nodded. "Right," Bruce continued slowly. "Well, um, I...might not have told you everything about...what happened to Loki..." His hesitation was making Thor apprehensive, although he waited and said nothing, hoping the mortal would continue quicker. "I really, uh, I don't know how to say this without..." he pursed his lips and avoided Thor's gaze. "So I'm just going to say it: I think...I think Loki was raped."

Thor blinked, then looked around, then met Banner's gaze again. "I assumed as much."

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

What? Bruce felt his lips move to say something, but the word wouldn't come out.

"I assumed as much." What did that mean? Did he already know?

Thor sighed heavily, eyes roving over his brother's form. Bruce expected him to say something, his demeanor as contemplative as it was, but the thunder god said nothing as he turned back to Banner with a question in his eyes. After a brief pause, he asked, "Was there something else?"

Something...else? Bruce wasn't sure what to think, except: What, is that not enough?

He finally found his voice. "Wait- so you knew?"

Thor frowned. "No. However, I understood it to be a possibility. Why bring this to me now?" he asked with an honesty bordering on childish innocence, as if he couldn't guess why Bruce wouldn't want to tell him about that. Was it so strange to the god?

"You-" Bruce was having a hard time reconciling that Thor might have known. "So you- wait, you didn't know but you, what, suspected? Is that what you're saying?" He squinted at the thunder god, then wondered why he left his glasses in the lab. Maybe he had thought not seeing was better than the alternative. But right now, he just felt blind.

Thor shrugged with one shoulder. "I suppose, yes. His injuries were grievous and that he was...harmed in other ways would not be surprising." He tilted his head at Bruce, knitting his brows together. "You appear flustered, Banner, was there something else?"

Again? Again he asks if there's something else. Was he expecting something worse? Because Bruce couldn't imagine what else he could say that would elicit an expected response from the thunder god. He scoffed and Thor noticed.

"I've upset you," stated Thor. "Why?"

Bruce couldn't look him in the eye as he scratched the back of his head and shifted uncomfortably. "Thor," he said after a pause, ignoring the question. "Why did you suspect? I mean... that's not exactly something that comes to mind, or- at least not to most people's minds. I mean-" he ran a hand through his hair and forced himself to look at the other. "Why would you even consider?"

Thor's frown turned confused. "It is not uncommon..."

"I'm sorry?" Bruce couldn't help but interrupt. "I'm sorry, what's not uncommon? Rape?" The words were ripped out of him, he couldn't help feeling a sting of annoyance at his friend, suddenly. His boldness, however, seemed to give Thor pause.

"I..." the god seemed to be rethinking his words, which was strange itself and it made Bruce feel a little better, that he was at least trying to be uncomfortable with whatever was going on- which he obviously didn't understand. "Unfortunately, no," he finally mumbled, although his gaze didn't slip. He stared intently at Bruce.

Bruce couldn't even let his exasperation show, he just felt numb. "Really," he said blankly. "Huh. I...don't really know what to say to that." Because he really didn't. What the hell was this? Thor obviously cared for his brother, yet he acted as if this knowledge was nothing special, that his brother being raped- and probably more than once, although he didn't want to get into that -was nothing new, even though he had admitted he hadn't known, only suspected. Bruce had expected shock, anger, thunder rumbling...something, something characteristic of the easily angered thunder god. Was this quietness for Loki's benefit, perhaps? To keep him from waking? Or maybe Thor's new-found self-control was shining through; Bruce didn't know. He somehow would have preferred angry growling and stomping about and thunder storms shaking the building because that was a normal reaction, at least in Bruce's mind, and at least when it came to Thor. Maybe he didn't know him as well as he thought.

He stared at Thor, searching his eyes, although for what he wasn't certain anymore. The god stared back at him, confused still. He didn't want to be angry with Thor, it wasn't callousness staring back at him, but, somehow, ignorance.

What the hell kind of place is Asgard, anyway?

Bruce walked out, thinking that someone might be getting angry soon, and, unfortunately, it probably wouldn't be Thor.

A/N: So, some of you guessed what Bruce was keeping from the others, although it wasn't exactly meant to be a secret. I'm wondering what you guys think of Thor's reaction so far.