#35 Freedom
The men were silent as they entered the great wall for the last time. Kirra was so weary, that she swayed in the saddle. She felt as if she had lived twenty lifetimes in the few days they had been away. Her eyes were red-rimmed and hard as she pulled Jin to a stop in the stable, her cheeks were pale and stiff with salt from the tears she had cried. As she slid from her saddle, she could barely contain the hatred in her dark eyes as the Bishop came forward to greet the boy so many had risked their lives to save. He stumbled over his words at the boy's silent avoidance of him and tried to be brave in the face of so many grave and furious warriors.
"You are free." He announced with a flourish, that was lost on his small, hostile audience, as he opened the wooden box that contained their papers.
Kirra watched dispassionately as Lancelot took two and handed them to a furious Bors. The man took them and turned to the Bishop as the boy, Lucan, darted past. She turned her cold glance on the Romans who moved to stop the boy but were halted by Galahad's blade as Lucan wove in and out of the men searching for the giant warrior he did not fear. Kirra took his hand and after one last quelling glance at the Bishop led the boy to the last wagon. The boy bolted inside and found what he was looking for, alive, but weak and pale. Kirra left them to their relieved greetings.
"I will never know how you do what you do, Kirra." Gawain said softly once they had reached their room.
Kirra sighed heavily, "There is a price to pay for it, though. I am exhausted." She sunk into a chair and watched as Gawain lit a fire. "I almost lost him." She said staring dully into the flames. "I could feel him there and hovering, but he was so unsure about whether he wanted to return or not. It was very precarious, until I mentioned the boy." She looked over at Gawain. "They will be good for each other."
"The separation will be all the more hard when we find the boy's family." Gawain said crouching by the new flames.
Kirra leaned her head back, "He has no family and even if he did, he would choose Dag over them."
Gawain frowned at the conviction in her voice, "We are leaving in the morning."
Kirra shrugged. She knew things and Dag and Lucan was only one thing she knew. Let Gawain believe what he would, she was too tired to get into it tonight. "What is home like?" She asked, changing the subject.
"I do not really remember." Gawain answered. "But, does it matter? We will be free to come and go as we choose."
Kirra pondered for a moment watching as the flames licked hungrily at the wood Gawain had thrown on. "I am hungry and want a bath." She said suddenly and stood.
Gawain grinned wickedly, "I think I can help with that."
"Get your mind out of the gutter." Kirra said with a laugh and pushed ineffectively at him when he gathered her in his arms. Her eyes grew soft as she gently touched the bruise she had given him and whispered a few words to lessen the violent shade of purple. She grinned at his astonished expression. Even after all this time and after the many times Kirra had done that, Gawain was still in awe of the power she held.
"Okay," Kirra said wriggling from Gawain's grasp, "You are not allowed to start anything until I have eaten and bathed, that's the rule. I smell like horse and sweat. Come to think of it," Kirra wrinkled her nose, "so do you."
"I told you that I could help with your bath. You wash my back, I'll wash yours …" He said, playfully interjecting a tone of hopefulness in his words as he opened the door and they left for the tavern.
Kirra threw back her head, exposing her slender neck, and laughed gaily, her good mood returning at the thought of dinner and warm water. "Maybe, but I need to eat first." She looked Gawain up and down thoughtfully. His blood heated immediately at her scrutiny, "I once heard of Tristan licking blood from his hands after a battle -- totally disgusted me, but when I thought about it, I wondered if human would be so bad. I would really hate to have to experiment on you."
Gawain's face fell, "That is disturbing, Kirra, and makes me think I married into the wrong family." But he remembered his earlier thoughts at the sight of Kirra's slim, white neck and grinned.
"You knew better than I what I was when you asked," Kirra said giving him a little shove with her shoulder, "And may I remind you what a horrid proposal it was."
Gawain sighed, "Are you ever going to forget that?"
Kirra's brow creased as she thought, "Uh, no. It's something to hold over your head for the rest of your life and I plan to use it to my advantage every chance I get." She smiled mischievously.
They were about to sit down when Galahad found them. Something in his eyes caused both Kirra and Gawain to be on alert. He looked haunted and pale.
"What it is?" Kirra asked grasping his arm gently; she could feel his fear and rage humming.
"Come to the wall and see," He said shortly and turned on his heel to leave the way he came.
Kirra exchanged a look with Gawain and followed him as he quickly strode after his friend. Kirra took the stairs two at a time, panting a little when she reached the top, but her breath caught in her throat when she peered over the balustrade.
Before them, spread throughout the valley was the Saxon army. Kirra watched horrified as more flowed in. She shrank back until she hit the back of the high wall and then stood with her hand against her mouth. This couldn't be happening. She hadn't thought they would be leaving, but she had no clue it was because of this.
She watched as Arthur looked over the side at the same scene she had seen. His look was no less troubled, but underneath was steel. Kirra took heart in it, though she could not fathom how they were going to get out of this one. Even with her talents, there were simply too many Saxons and despite what the men believed, she was not all powerful and she could not be in more than one place at a time.
She listened in silent horror as Arthur bid farewell to his men, then left to prepare. For what, Kirra was unsure. His odds, alone, were not good. One man against an army? Was he crazy not to expect some help?
She slept fitfully that night, after having forced something down her throat and resigning herself to a simple bath from a bucket. Not even Gawain's usually comforting presence could calm her or stop disturbing dreams from resurfacing each and every time she closed her eyes.
After realizing that sleep was an impossibility, she finally rose to make sure she had everything. It was still many hours before the sun would show his face. She stood for a long time, soaking in the dim light from the moon, thinking, wondering how they would escape. Wondering if they were even right to attempt it, knowing they would not get far.
"We'll be far from here in a few hours." Gawain said surprising her. She had thought him asleep.
"Will we?" She asked distractedly. "Somehow I don't think so."
"Come," he said, yawning and drawing the blankets aside, "Even if you can't sleep, come and lay beside me. Let me feel you next to me."
Kirra returned to the bed and lay down. As she had so long ago in a dark forest with a storm approaching, she placed one hand against her husband's steadily beating heart. He was warm and solid, a reminder that he would be hers forever. She took instant comfort in the thought and remembered the promise Niara had made. It made her feel better and when Gawain pressed a sleepy kiss to her forehead and pulled her closer, wrapping his large body around her smaller one, Kirra relaxed against him and both fell asleep.
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The morning was chaotic. People were running in all directions, some trying to get the things they would need to escape the inevitable invasion and some attempting to prepare for it. Weapons were laid out and the sound of metal on stone let Kirra know they were being sharpened. Tar was being poured into shallow trenches and Kirra wondered what Arthur had planned for the Saxons. She glimpsed him only for a second, striding about and giving orders, before she had to turn her attention to something else.
She watched her countrymen. They moved slowly as if they wanted to be doing things other than packing the few small wagons that were to accompany them on their trip back home. Though nothing was voiced, Kirra had an idea that they weren't so keen on leaving their commander to fight this battle on his own – no matter what they said aloud. Their faces were strained and lined and it didn't look as though many of them got much sleep.
"All right, Kirra?"
Kirra turned realizing that she had been standing utterly still amidst a mass of constantly swirling people and saw Vanora. She held her youngest on her hip and looked as all did, as though her night had been all too short. Her eyes were crinkled in concern as she watched her young friend.
"Yes, I think." Kirra said, sounding quite unsure of her answer. She took a deep breath, "How can we leave him to it?"
Vanora looked at Kirra's haunted expression then back at her cart full of children. She knew what Kirra was feeling, but had more important people to worry about than Arthur.
"Oh, never mind." Kirra said at Vanora's pause. "I didn't get much sleep last night. Can I help you with anything? We got our things loaded earlier this morning," she laughed and it sounded strained and foreign in her own ears, "there wasn't much."
Vanora shook her head, "We're ready, too. I hope. You two stop that!" She suddenly yelled at a set of her twins who were shooting little rocks at each other with what looked to be sling-shots of sorts. "Oh, those two. The beginnin' of a trip and they have to start with that. 'Scuse me, will ya, Kirra?" Kirra nodded and the woman stormed toward her unruly children, who cowered at her approach. At least some things had not changed so much.
At that moment Gawain appeared leading Drea and Fate, who was saddled and ready for Kirra. Jin was again being used as a pack horse and because of the excitement in the air, Finn had been tied to the back of the bastards' cart, so that he could not escape and cause added havoc.
"You have everything you need from your House?" Gawain asked gravely as he handed Kirra's reins to her.
"Yes." She replied, then looked up at him, "Do you think we're doing the right thing?"
Gawain studied the cold ground for a moment before answering her, "I don't know, but right now, you are the most important thing to me. It is not safe here and I have to get you as far from here as I can."
"But, he's alone, Gawain." She said and her voice broke.
Gawain's eyes were fierce when he met Kirra's, "There are others here."
"I know." She said as she pulled herself astride Fate, "It's just …" She wiped at her eyes.
Gawain placed a hand on her knee, "I know, Kirra. I know."
They had not gotten very far when the men's mounts started acting up. The sound of the drums and the scent of the smoke in the air, not to mention the unease they felt coming from their masters, set them to dancing and pulling at their bits. The men whispered words to calm them, but as they raised their heads and saw a lone shadow through the smoke, they knew they there were a few things left unfinished.
It took only moments for the men to pull on their armor on and retrieve their weapons and with soft words of parting, they left their loved ones for one final battle.