Ianto had faded out entirely, but Jack could hear Ianto's fist hitting his desk. 'You want me to relive the worst part of the worst day of my life!"
Papers jumped and slid towards the floor, caught by an invisible hand and neatly ordered before placing themselves back on his desk.
That seemed to sooth Ianto, enough to bring him back slightly, so that Jack was talking to a man shaped bubble. A very pissed off man shaped bubble. ('Smooth move Jack' his inner critic said,' pull it out, wave it around and expect him to be impressed' He hated that voice sometimes.)
Jack tried again. "Let me explain, please Ianto, we have a reason to ask."
"Do tell," Ianto hissed but pulled up a chair and sat down "go on."
Jack decided on honesty as the best policy "It's the cube, "he said "Tosh saw it , but we need more information, look here" Jack turned his monitor so Ianto could see and pulled up the same series of cube pictures that Tosh had studied.
Ianto leaned forward as jack continued "the first picture we have is from two weeks after the fact."
"They tossed it on a shelf in secure archives' Ianto muttered.
'But we have enough detail to see the larger patterns." He flicked a few keys, and two pictures, the archival print and their most recent appeared side by side on the screen.
"We are not sure because the picture quality is not the best, but it looks like the cube is changing, at least the colors on the cube are changing.' Ianto was suddenly completely solid and leaning forward, staring intently at the screen.
"Could be the picture quality,' he said, but looked again. The oldest picture looked like there were slightly more of the iridescent colors moving across the surface.
Ianto leaned back in his chair. "That is the day I lost everything." he said "my life changed, Lisa died my family thinks I'm dead...' his voice broke 'everything I ever wanted or hoped for was gone. But I didn't die, Jack!"
Jack had expected an explosion, what he got was a sudden feeling that control of this interview had slipped out of his hands. Ianto started talking, enunciating every word carefully just to make sure he understood.
"So you want me to relive -in exact detail- the worst part of the worst day of my life?" his jaw thrust forward "and you tested it by reliving some pleasant escapade of yours on some alien planet?"
"It wasn't...' Jack started to say but Ianto was not stopping.
'bollocks! You don't have any idea what you are asking me to do! "Ianto leaned into Jacks personal space.
"Ianto..."
Ianto s face was an inch from Jacks so all he could see was the blazing blue eyes and the same disgusted look he had seen when he had shown Ianto the tourist office. Ianto took a deep breath and held it for a long moment then started talking on the exhale.
"Understand me, Jack I .WILL. NOT. DO .THIS! I will take the information you have and research it!" he leaned past Jack and sent the pictures to Archives
Jack was leaning back in his chair, as far back as possible.
Ianto hissed "Now can you tell me why you think using an alien torture device would in any way be acceptable to me?"
Ianto's eyes narrowed as Jack shuddered and broke eye contact. "No? I will be in the archives, don't come looking for me." Ianto vanished. The Abap zoomed after him. Owen ducked as it flew past.
He looked in the door at Jack "that went well, "he snarked.
"Oh stuff it Owen." Jack said and stared at the pendant glittering in his hand.
"Stuff it yourself you knob! What happened?" Owen stepped into the office but stayed close to the door.
"I asked Ianto to use the memory pendant, he said no." Jack sulked.
Owen growled "Did you really pull out a bit of shiny tech, tell him some blinking story and expect him to just sit right down and use it?" Jack winced, his eyes going to the memory aid pendant.
"I'll take that for a yes.' Jack restrained his fist from colliding with Owens jaw, as Owen continued with "You know how Ianto feels about using unknown, untried…"
Jack tried to interrupt "I DID try it!"
"What did you try it on, Jack? What memory? Did you try it out on your worst memory, your most traumatic experience? That's what you are asking Ianto to do!"
"Fine what memory would you have used?" Jack snarled.
"I wouldn't have done it!" Owen snapped "do you seriously think anyone would willingly relive the worst day of their lives in exact detail? With pictures?' you think I would have gone back to the day the woman I loved, my best friend, who I was going to marry, died? Have you gone insane?' Owen was practically spitting the words.
Jack flinched, he had been there for that and "wait a minute! You were listening?" He said "How much did you hear?"
Owen smirked "you were being so loud we all heard you! Next time close the fucking door, and stop trying to change the subject!"
Owen continued "I spent 3 months in a bottle trying to drink the pain away, didn't come out until you hired me, and still hurts like fuck all." Owen snarled.
Jack could always stare Owen down, but not tonight. Jack was guilty as charged and Owen was right.
"All right all right!" Jack said irritably "I'm a jerk, I handled it wrong, what do you want me to do about it?"
"What the fuck do you think you need to do?"
"You heard what he wanted."
"Yeah, he wants you to explain your so-called line of thought in even asking, we heard that to."
"Yeah" Jack said, then picked up the pendant and stalked out of the hub.
Jack ended up pacing on top of the millennium center. He had been there for hours, just looking out over the city. He had seen it change and grow he would see it age and die. Just Like everything on this planet ages and dies. He had lots of memories he had no wish to relive "who the fuck do you think you are Ianto Jones, to ask me to do that?"
Whoops. Inner Jack came back with "who the fuck do you think you are 'Jack Harkness' asking me to do what you won't?" Inner Jack sounded remarkably like Ianto.
Jack kept walking, Back and forth across the top of the Center.
One circuit,
'Pick the worst day of your life and relive it' which one? I have lots of bad days to pick from.
Two
'Pick the first day of your new life and relive it' which one? Lots of first days for a man who can't stay dead
Three
Pick one of the days you lost everything "Lots of choices."
Four
Pick the day you died the first time.
And stop.
Pick the first time you lost everything.
Jack sat down on the roof, hugged his knees to his chest, still staring at the skyline. 'No one should have to live like this.'
No one should and he still didn't know why. He sat for a long time, lost in his thoughts.
"Ianto still doesn't know why either."
After a time he took out the pendant.
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
While Jack was sitting on his roof top and Ianto was angrily pacing section F1 through F 40 and back in the old archives, in the Antarctic a curious ball of ice was discovered cradled in a saddle between two mountain tops.