Sorry this took so long. Was going to post it last night, but called in for a night shift. Thankfully those are done now. There will be another chapter tomorrow once I've caught up on sleep.

Hope to hear from you all, leave a review and let me know what you think.

Jorik sat at the table in his house. Lydia was watching, waiting for orders. Not a day ago Jorik had said they were going to continue on with the Greybeards, but nothing had happened since then. She wondered what was stopping him now.

"My Thane, is everything alright?" Lydia asked uncertainly.

"Yes, just debating whether…" Jorik trailed off. With a sigh he left his seat and headed out the door. His emotions were in turmoil, his plan of avoiding Balgruuf plagued him. Balgruuf was a good friend and he just left the man, running once more as he did before.

He didn't bother greeting people as he should, he had a mission, something that needed to be done and couldn't wait. Balgruuf deserved at least that much from him.

He stood in front of the double doors leading into the castle and took a fortifying breath. His hands were shaking at his side, and he clenched his hands into fist swearing silent that his emotions were visiable to everyone. With a scowl he ignored the curious look of the guards when he opened the door and stepped into the dimly lit hall.

"Thane Jorik, is there something you need?" One of the guards asked quietly, so his voice didn't echo through the hall.

"I'm here to see Balgruuf," Jorik answered quietly. He noticed the guards shifting nervously as they glanced between each other. "What?"

"The Jarl has been in a mood of late, you may not be able to speak with him," one of the guards mumbled quickly glancing towards the throne to make sure he hadn't been overheard.

Jorik nodded and headed to the throne where Balgruuf sat. He swallowed nervously as angry, sky blue eyes turned to him. What surprised him was beneath the anger there was sadness, and pain. He knew without asking that he was caused those emotions that haunted those blue eyes.

"Jorik," Balgruuf greeted. His voice hard, foreboding, not something people were used to hearing from their Jarl.

"Can I have a few moments of your time?" Jorik asked, meeting those angry eyes with his pleading ones.

Balgruuf sat back on his throne. A part of him was elated that Jorik was here speaking with him, but mostly he was still pissed. His one true friend had left him, abandoned him. The one person he could be himself with had stopped talking with him, now stood before him. He didn't know what to think. He didn't believe for a moment that Jorik was here for his benefit, not after the way he left last time.

He still hurt, but he would never admit it or show it. He was a nord and he wasn't about to show that Jorik absence affected him. Plus he was the Jarl of Whiterun, he didn't have the luxury of allowing his emotions rule him. That was why he looked forward to Jorik's visits, with him there were no masks, no false platitudes rank and positions hadn't mattered.

"What do you want Jorik?" Balgruuf asked sharply.

"To apologize… and to explain," Jorik answered, his voice barely over a whisper that Balgruuf had to strain to hear him. Balgruuf nodded and led the way to his private rooms where they wouldn't have to worry about anyone listening in.

He moved over to one of the chair that made up a lounge area and sat down as he watched Jorik pace agitatedly. Balgruuf tried to relax and wait patiently for Jorik to start explaining but the more the younger nord paced the higher his agitation grew. He was about to snap at Jorik but was stopped when he started speaking.

"Once more, I've run. The first time was years ago when I left Skyrim and then again with you. I thought it would be better if I left both times, but I know now it was wrong," Jorik muttered running his hand through his hair.

"Why did you run those many years ago?" Balgruuf asked curiously.

"My father and I went to Markarth and there was an accident. A lad named Argis lost his eye due to me. I knew then that I wasn't safe so I left to train in fighting elsewhere," Jorik answered with a shrug.

"And why did you run this time?" Balgruuf asked, not sure if he wanted to hear what the man had to say. It had hurt when Jorik left, more than expected and more than he was ready for.

"When I took that dragon soul a while back, something changed. I am Dovahkiin, I have a soul of the dov, and that is meant quite literally. With each dragon soul I take its get worse. I can feel each one of them, the power they held, the knowledge they each held. I can feel it all. When angered, or many other reasons I lose control and am dangerous. I didn't want you in danger, not from me," Jorik muttered, focusing hard on his feet. He couldn't meet Balgruuf's eyes. His emotions were too raw, to close to the surface.

"Why are you telling me this?" Balgruuf asked.

"That's not important right now," Jorik hedged, praying Balgruuf would take the hint. When he saw the Jarl's eyes narrowed he worried the man would push. That was one conversation he wasn't ready to have, no yet.

Balgruuf stared at him thoughtfully. He was tempted to push for an answer, but he wasn't even sure he wanted to know what Jorik was hiding.

Jorik stood there awkwardly, not sure what to say. He glanced around, searching for anything to give him a hint on to what to say next. He glanced at Balgruuf but there was no help there. He did noticed the anger was gone, but in its place was confusion. Jorik sighed, "I should be leaving," he muttered.

Balgruuf watched him walk to the door, "Jorik, would you sup with me tonight?" He asked, keeping his voice firm, hiding behind a stoic mask. He knew if he didn't hide, his voice would have cracked and Jorik would know how uncertain he was. That was the last thing he wanted, or needed right now.

"Yes, I'll be here," Jorik answered with a small smile. Balgruuf watched his one green eye, lighten and some of the regret left them.

Balgruuf watched him leave with a small smile and felt a weight lift off his shoulders.

~oooooooooooooo~

Lydia smirked while Jorik went through his clothes. She watched the mound build up on his bed. She wasn't sure what happened when he left but whatever it was she was happy for it. "My Thane what are you looking for?"

"Something suitable to wear?" Jorik muttered.

"Suitable to wear for what?" Lydia asked, rolling her at her Thane's back.

"Dinner at the castle," Jork grumbled as he tossed another set of clothing onto the pile. Most of them were things he took off dead bodies, or stole, there was nothing here that he bought. He shook his head and went to his nightstand. "Go see if Belethor has anything suitable to wear. Don't bother haggling with the twit," Jorik muttered.

"He better not hit on me again," Lydia growled, a dark scowl lighting her face.

"Remind him who you are housecarl to. I highly doubt he wants to piss me off after my last talk to him," Jorik told her with a smirk.

Lydia chuckled, her mood lightening when she remembered that talk. Jorik's fist to Belethor face when he had grabbed her ass the last time.

Jorik grabbed the clothes off of his bed and scowled at them. He should have cleaned out his dresser long ago, but hadn't even thought about it. Now he was regretting it. He tossed them into a pile in the corner of his room, later he would burn them, when he left town once more.

He sneered as he thought about his newest mission awaiting him. He was to infiltrate the Thalmor embassy, in a way he couldn't wait, but he was also leery. If he got caught there was no way he was going to allow them to torture him. He knew the political repercussions if he killed even one of them.

He didn't want to do this mission, but knew he had to. It pissed him off to no end.

He was broken out of his thoughts when he heard the door open. His first thought it was Lydia but the steps were to heavy. He grabbed his sword, and walked slowly to the top of the stairs. His eyes narrowed when he watched the man check out the blades he had on display. He waited for the man to take one of the blade but he didn't. Instead he moved to one of the chairs, Jorik could finally see his face. His eyes widened when he saw Balgruuf seated there.

"What brings you here?" Jorik asked as he walked down the stairs, the sword now loosely held in his hand. He placed the sword next to the rack, taking a seat across from Balgruuf.

"I thought I should come tell you myself, but Lydia is in the jail for knocking Belethor out," Balgruuf said with an amused smile.

"So you came here personally to tell me this," Jorik muttered with an amused smirk.

"Not quite, there been a change of plans. We will have to move supper to tomorrow night, I have business to take care of tonight," Balgruuf muttered, rubbing a tired hand over his face.

"Anything you need help with?" Jorik asked.

"Maybe, I don't know yet. A farm is coming in with complaints about a cave near here filled with bandits. I've sent a few men out and they found nothing. So this farmer is coming back with proof," Balgruuf answered.

"If he has proof or can lead me to this cave. I can take care of it, though there is a price in it," Jorik said with a grin.

"What's the price?" Balgruuf asked with narrowed eyes.

"Don't go to the gather at the embassy," Jorik stated seriously.

"Why?"

"it won't be safe and leave it at that," Jorik warned and waited for the barrage of questions.

"Done, didn't want to go as it was," Balgruuf said with a grin. "Meet me up at the castle in an hour or so, the farmer should be there by then."

Jorik watched him walk to the door, "Oh, Balgruuf let my housecarl go," Jorik said.

"Was planning on it. I am surprised she is not here yet," Balgruuf muttered, looking at the door curiously. He walked out and stepped back in surprised. Lydia was standing guard in front of the door, her blade still sheathed but the warning in her eyes was clear to anyone coming close to the house.

Lydia glanced over her shoulder and noticed the Jarl standing there. She looked at her Thane and caught the subtle nod. She motioned the Jarl to follow her, a grin splitting her face when she caught her Thane's grin.

It looks like she had money to collect for Irileth, she couldn't wait.