It rained all morning the day of the funeral.

Indara and Mathies stood near Ria, partially in support and partially because the rain prevented any work from getting done anyway. Valdr and his fellow hunters gave their condolences. Narri and Valga took the morning off to see. And Lod, ever patient and faithful, stood next to Ria, squeezing her hand as teardrops mixed with raindrops on her cheek. He didn't say a word, but he made his presence felt.

Yet, somehow, even with the patter of rain and the occasional coos of birds and the sloshing of mud as guards patrolled the paths, Ria could hear nothing but Runil's airy voice as he administered the final burial rites to her parents. She saw little, apart from the two new stones that had been placed next to Nereus' grave. The world around her didn't even seem to exist for the time being.

When it was over, the rest of the visitors to the funeral dispersed, save for herself and Lod. She'd told him to go on home, that she wasn't going to be much company and he'd catch cold besides, but he shook his head and said he'd be there as long as she needed him. She sighed and headed home, allowing him to walk her back to her house and give her one last hug and kiss on the forehead before she went inside to grieve alone.

And once again, as she entered that little cabin, it felt smaller, and emptier, and full of ghosts.

Staying there indefinitely wasn't an option now. She had to do something, anything. Wasn't that part of the reason her parents had gone to Windhelm in the first place? Hadn't they gone to make money and just do something, for a change?

This was her chance.

Ria would get out of this house one way or another. Even if she never made it to Whiterun, she'd get out of this town. She'd make a life as a mercenary, or a guard, or even a soldier if she had to, in anywhere but Falkreath.

In the best case scenario, she'd join the Companions. That was what she'd wanted all along, after all. And she'd get it, if it was the last thing she did.

But first things first. She needed to plan.

She set to work almost immediately, distributing items to different piles and assigning them destinations. A pile of books and her old doll from childhood would go to Mathies and Indara and their daughter. Old clothes were piled high and given prices so she could sell them to Solaf. A few weapons could go to Valdr for his next hunting trip, along with the old bear head he'd mounted on a plaque for her when she was just a girl. Some dried herbs she'd never found a use for would be gifted to Zaria. Cutlery and dishes were for Valga, and a single bronze ring was for Narri. Her father's smithing equipment would go to Lod, if he'd accept it. Furniture was rearranged accordingly, so that she could sell the property back to the Hold and keep herself from going completely broke.

Only a few things were kept for herself. She had a set of light scaled armor that her father had made, though it was a bit tight, along with the sword he'd forged, which admittedly would fall to pieces sooner or later. She'd bring a wooden shield, and some spare food to take on the road. She stuffed extra clothing in her pack, along with a few heirlooms she wouldn't leave without. The heirlooms weren't much, really, just some plain jewelry and little trinkets from her parents, but they'd be reminders of her past as she made the journey to Whiterun. Perhaps, if she ran low on gold, she could sell the jewelry, but she wanted to avoid that if she could. She had the spare gold, plus whatever she made from the house. That would get her through.

Over the next few days, she made arrangements. She spoke to the Jarl first, giving herself a week to finish packing. His housecarl would deliver the payment within that week, and whatever she left behind when she began her journey would be forfeit to the Hold.

She spoke to Indara and Mathies next, giving them what she could to help them with their daughter and their farm. They got their pile of books, and little Lavinia loved the doll and promised to take good care of it. Ria in turn made a promise to come back and visit when she got the chance. She wished them luck in finding more people to help on the farm.

And then she spoke with Valdr before he went out for his next hunting trip. She gave him what little equipment was around the house, and, while she ought to have kept some for herself, it would have been heavy, and the sword she had would be enough. He smiled when she offered him the bear head, said she should keep it, but it would be impossible to carry it with her on the road.

Then came Solaf, and she sold what she could to him. They weren't particularly good friends, and they never had been, but he wished her luck on her journey and paid her fair coin for her goods.

Valga was next, not that Ria had much to give her. Before she even said a word, Ria made Narri swear not to tell anyone at all about this visit. Narri may have been a gossip, but she was hardly as bad Bolund liked to say she was and she would keep her word.

And soon, on the last day, only Lod was left. She'd spoken to him throughout the week, but only briefly, and mostly to deliver the smithing equipment that she wouldn't have needed even if she were staying. She'd wanted to avoid it more than anything in the world. Gods, he should have been the first person she told, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. If anything, she wanted to sneak away without a word, but she couldn't do that to him, not when he meant so much to her.

Ria carefully knocked on the door to Lod's house. This wasn't something she was looking forward to, but she had to do it. She knew she did.

When Lod opened the door, he smiled. The smile quickly faded, however, when he took note of her pack and the sword strapped to her hip. "Ri," he said, a note of caution in his voice. "What's all that for?"

"I just..." She wasn't sure where to start. "I wanted to say goodbye."

"You're leavin', then?"

"Yes." Ria stared at the floor in front of her feet, unable to look him in the eyes for fear of crying. Her hand tightened on the hilt of her sword, the same rusted old thing she'd been using for years, barely fit for fighting a fox, let alone anything that legitimately fought back. But it was what she had, and it was what she needed.

"Nothing I can do to convince you to stay?"

"I don't think so."

Lod sighed, and she was hit with a twinge of guilt. "What if I'd asked you to marry me?"

She shook her head. She might have guessed that was coming. "You've been a good friend, Lod, but..." Her voice trailed as she tried to find the words to say what she felt. "To me, you will always feel more like a brother than a husband."

When she looked up at him, he looked a bizarre mixture of heartbroken and disgusted. "How long have you thought that?" Before she could respond, his expression softened, and he held up a hand. "I wouldn't have taken you to bed if I'd known. That's the only reason I ask."

"I don't know," she said, and honestly at that. "A while. I thought, maybe, if I tried, perhaps I'd grow to think of you that way. But I only ended up proving what I'd thought all along."

"Then you don't love me." He looked at her, eyes saddened and making Ria crumble where she stood. "I don't aim to complain, Ri. Really, I don't. I just... Damn."

"I do," she said, barely loud enough for even herself to hear. "I love you dearly, but... I don't love you like that."

Lod was quiet for a minute, and it was all Ria could do not to cry. "I could provide for you," he said, his voice barely audible. "Anything you'd need, I'd be able to give. You know that."

"I don't want you to have to provide for me."

"But-"

"No, Lod." She gave him a slight smile as he grabbed her hand. "I need to do this."

"But you don't," he said, his eyes betraying his inner turmoil. "What are you trying to prove? Who do you need to prove this to?"

"I'm not proving anything to anyone!" She did her best to keep composure as his eyes pleaded with her. "I've wanted to join the Companions since I was a girl, but it was never the right time. Mother and father both were just barely scraping by, and they needed me here. But they aren't here anymore, and I'm not taking care of them. So I guess this is my chance. There's no time like the present."

"There'll be no talking you out of this, will there?" He sighed, taking a step back from her. "At least let me give you a parting gift."

"There's no need, really-"

"A new sword. Something I've made."

"Really, it's fine." She squeezed his hand, hoping he'd drop the subject. "I've had this sword for years, and I couldn't possibly take something from you."

"It'd be a gift. I'd be giving it to you."

"It'd be too much to carry on the road."

"Get rid of the old sword, then."

Ria just shook her head again, noting his disappointed expression. "My father made it for me, and I'm keeping it. I'm not keeping much. I've sold most of it to Solaf, given other things to Indara and Mathies for all the help they've been."

"Do you need gold, then?"

"I've enough to get to Whiterun and stop in Helgen and Riverwood for a night each, which I shouldn't need to do. And, with any luck, I've got enough to buy myself a new weapon when I get there. I'll be alright."

"Aye. I guess you will." The corner of his mouth flickered up, almost into a smile. "You be safe out there. And, if the Companions don't live up to your standards, you know where to find me."

As another flash of sympathy surged through her, Ria couldn't help herself. She threw her pack to the ground and flung her arms about his neck, taking him into a hug. His arms wound around her, drawing her close one last time, before he pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek.

When she pulled back, she unwound her arms just enough that she could glance her thumbs over his cheeks. She leaned back in, cupping his face in her hands, and pressed one more kiss to his lips, long and lingering and more than a bit sorrowful. She didn't want to break away, to take this moment away from him. She'd thought, this whole time, that it ought to have been anybody but him. Perhaps, she realized as she finally broke the kiss, she should have wished it were anybody but her.

"I'm sorry," she murmured. "Lod, I'm so sorry. I wish I could-"

"Don't." He smiled, comforting and heartbreaking all at once. "I won't lie and say I'm glad, but this isn't your fault. I only wish I was what you wanted."

"I wish so, too." Tears began to roll down her face in earnest now, and her throat closed from her sobs. Lod simply hugged her to his chest, letting her cry. This couldn't be any easier for him than it was for her, and yet here she was, crying in his arms selfishly. "I'll miss you."

"The whole town'll be missing you, Ri." His hand stroked over the back of her hair. "Especially me. Falkreath will be awful lonely without you around."

"Please don't be lonely," she mumbled. "Please, for me, Lod. Don't be too alone. I want you to find some sweet little woman who loves you, and if that takes too long I want you to buy a dog to keep you company. I want you to be happy."

"I'll do my best, alright?" He squeezed her tight once more before letting go. "Come inside for a bit. Have some mead before you head out."

Ria simply shook her head again, wiping away the tears that fell down her cheeks. "I should leave now if I want to make it to Riverwood by nightfall. Thank you." She gave him the brightest smile she could managed. "For everything."

"Anytime you need me-"

"I'll let you know." She took in a deep breath to collect herself as she reached for her pack. "Here's to hoping that this isn't good-bye forever. I'll see you again some day."

"You'd better." He smiled at her as she adjusted the pack on her back and made to leave. "Have a safe journey, Ri."

"Good-bye, Lod."

This was it, she thought as she left him behind and walked on towards the town gate. She spared him one last wave as she went along her way, on towards Whiterun and a future she'd begun to think was never going to happen.

It was odd, really, leaving everything behind. There was nothing left for her in Falkreath, but she'd miss it, and she'd almost certainly have days when she'd wish she could go back to this part of her life and relive the moments she'd be closing off forever. But this wasn't an ending, not really.

This was merely her beginning.