I don't remember much of that conversation after those words and we only talked on the phone less then 10 hours ago, and everything made my stomach twist into knots. .

Made my head throb.

Made me start thinking about everything.

"How do you... de'l with getting asked out...?" Those words would replay in my head over, and over again.

After that I remember telling Ber that he should go for it and after that I remember waking up in bed, about 3 hours ago, which was about 2:36 in the morning. When I woke up, I put my MP3 player in my ears, but I remembered I was in the living room last, not my room, but here I am.

So the time currently was 5:39 in the morning and I'm, just here. Staring at this nice ceiling in my room while I try not think about what happened. Trying to is the key term here.

I had my arm rested over my forehead, trying to figure things out, while I blinked rapidly and had music blasting in my headphones from my Mp3 player. The music though, sounded almost mute compared to my thoughts.

My mom never could get me an iPod, but I was perfectly fine with that. I'm alright with this blue and white MP3 player.. It was nice, and it reminded me that Ber's favorite color was blue.

I groaned at the though, and rolled over to my side so I could face a wall, and my arm that was on my forehead now rested next to me.

Ber. What's happening to me. Are you going to go on that date with that guy... I thought. I tried to change the subject of thought in my head.

Flowers? No... That college! Yeah, that college that Ber and I are... hopefully.. gonna go to.. . Together.

Ah fuck.

I flung myself up so I was sitting up and staring at yet, another wall. Obviously this trying to change the subject thing wasn't working. And since I couldn't change this subject in my head I was starting to feel sick, confused, and honestly really lost. I don't know why I was feeling sick but, I was confused on why I felt the way I did, and I was lost on why.

But I knew I had to start making connections. There was Berwald.

And not remembering what we talked about after he told me he was asked out. Just thinking of that gives me a small pit of grief in my stomach. I should be happy for him, and not feeling... Well whatever this is. The name Berwald, in my head at the moment, had a new meaning that I couldn't figure out and it felt like water was starting to sting my eyes.

I crawled out of my bed and remembered that my mother wasn't home, and that it was still raining. The sun wanted to peak over the horizon, bu the clouds were blocking and I got no sleep. I picked up my cell phone.

(2) missed calls from Berwald

Berwald(1:32AM)

Just Text me when you get th...

Berwald (10:38PM)
Hey are you okay? You seeme...

I threw my phone at my bed and groaned loud. I hate this iPhone... I hated everything right now for no reason. I held my hair and tears starting to form at the corner of my eyes and I honestly had no idea why.

I had no idea why I felt the way I did, and I had no idea why life was happening right now.

Then I thought of how this person was who asked Berwald out. I paced around my room and continued to hold my head, and I thought of another man kissing Berwald and hugging him and getting him presents, and cuddling him, and- I was jealous...?

I stopped pacing and let my arms fall to the side of me as I looked up. No- Best friends can't feel this way! I thought of Berwald more and inspected every detail of him in my ead.

His scary looking face, that was absolutely adorable, his strong build, his soft personality that was gentile and funny, and how adorable he looked when he was embarrassed.

I walked over to my computer and turned it on, sitting in my computer chair. I ran my fingers through my blonde hair.

I typed in my password as I thought more about Berwald and how best friends shouldn't feel this way.

I opened Google chrome and went to the college's website, Gakuen University.

I shouldn't feel this way.

I clicked on the print out form page and it opened out to many different forms.

I shouldn't feel that Berwald is cute and adorable and se- and sweet, I shouldn't be feeling jealous.

I clicked on the the link that said, "Apply."

Best Friend's don't think this way... I think...

I printed out the form that was sent to the computer printer that was out in a hall way in my house. Yay, you go wireless printers.

I think... I like Berwald.

I stood up and weakly walked out of the room, my chest pounding and my legs and body and everything feeling heavy. I felt guilty and lost and.. Happy almost... Almost.

I like my best friend more then a best friend should.

I found my self in front of the printer with what I printed out in front of me and grabbed the papers and walked back to my room. I felt like I couldn't hear any music playing on my MP3 player anymore, even though it was on and playing songs. I grabbed my head phones and pulled them off and threw them on my bed to join my phone.

I thought about many things in the instant as I threw my MP3 player over on my bed and realized more then I would in 10 years, and after realizing a tear would paint the sides on my face, in guilt if I should really be realizing this and feeling this.

I have a crush on my best friend.

It's been about 2 weeks since that happened I I couldn't even talk to Berwald until 4 days after it all happened.

He asked if I got his calls.

He asked if he saw my texts.

He asked if I was okay.

He asked what my favorite snack was (even though he knew).

He asked me what he should wear to his date.

I gave him almost honest opinions for everything. I told him I saw his texts and calls, but told him I saw them too late and saw no need to reply, I told him that he knew what my favorite snack was and he laughed. I told him him just to wear what he normally wears. But, I told him I was fine. I mean, in retrospect, there was nothing wrong with me besides that I was going through a crush and it's on my best friend and that I haven't felt this way about a person ever since him. I rolled my eyes as I thought that. I looked in the mirror that was in the bathroom and ran my fingers through my hair. I decided it was time to shower.

Berwald also asked me about the college, and I told him that about a week and a half ago (while I avoided Ber and didn't talk to him) I sent in my application. He did the same.

I turned on the shower started to strip off my clothes. I looked and up the shower and deemed it safe to walk in.

I was happy that Ber and I were going to the same college, but I was nervous that, whoever this guy was, would mistreat him. Who ever this guy is that asked him out. I brought my eyebrows together and made a face to the nozzle in the shower. Maybe it'll see my annoyance.

The water hit my back. I hissed as it hit my back, the water was still cold. My face looked worse as I made more of a face. I turned up the temperature in my shower.

I wondered if Ber would call me later and tell me how his date went. I would listen, and of course be hella jealous but... I know his date is today at 7.

And the time?

The time is sometime around 4.

I think.

I haven't check the clock since I woke up this morning.

I grabbed the shampoo (that was scented Coconut; I like that scent a lot) and squirted a bit in my hand and lathered it in my hair.

I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my hip bones. I opened the door was immediately introduced by my phone going off in my room.

Well... Good timing I guess? I walked over to my room and scanned my phone looking for my phone, and spotting it on my desk. I walked to my desk and piked up my phone.

Incoming Call

Berwald

I raised my eyebrow and thought for a long moment before answering.

"Shouldn't you be at work?" I demanded after answering the phone.

"I'm on bre'k." His voice sounded hushed.

"Ohhhh," I let slip out of my mouth. That made a lot of sense. "What's up then?"

"Tino, I'm nervo's." I could tell Berwald was pacing where ever he went to spend his 15 minute break.

"Don't be!" I knew I felt my heart drop, but hey at least it wasn't my towel that dropped. "Don't be nervous Ber. Just be yourself."

There was a long pause on the line and I felt like I said the wrong thing.

"I know..." Ber coughed lightly on the other side of the phone. "I know I see him as a fri'nd, but still."

Wait... A friend? My eyes widened when he said that.

"You... You only see him as a friend?"

"Mm." He sounded like he was disappointed in himself. I felt so bad for him.

"Well, at least you're giving him a chance! Be honest with him tonight that you only like him as a friend." I felt a smile on my face, and that made me feel horrible... Or SHOULD make me feel horrible.

"I know..." He paused for a moment or two. "I'll tell him tonight."

I heard talking in the backround and Berwald talking back to whoever it was he was talking to.

"Tino, I gotta go." He sounded sad to hang up. "Let's hang out tomorr'w?"

"Alright! Bye Ber! Good luck with your date!"

"See ya tomorr'w then Tino. Bye."

At that moment the line went dead and I threw my phone back on my bed.

A 2 minute conversation that felt like 55 minutes. Time lies.

I felt bad. I didn't know why, but I felt so bad. I walked over to my closet and grabbed clothes to change into since I had no clothes on besides a towel wrapped around myself.

Then it hit me, I told him I would hang out tomorrow.

What would we do? How do I react?

I haven't hung out with him for a while now. I've been avoiding him since I realizing I have the hugest crush on him.

I let out a puff of air from my mouth, and my towel fell off me,.

Which to be honest, I completely forgot about. Thankfully my mom isn't home.

I got my clothes and slipped them on and continued to freak out after.

The next day around 5 PM Berwald came over, and he looked really stressed. And you know that moment when you see the person you like, and you just want to hide? Yeah that's pretty much me right now.

But seeing him stressed made me want to hug him and tell him it's okay and bake him cookies. About a zillion cookies. More cookies then i can bake in a year.

"Hey Ber." I hushed out.

"Hello Timo. How are ya?" We both sat on my couch and we both didn't look at each other.

"I'm goooooood," I held out the 'O' sound. "How are you? You look a little stressed."

Berwald was silent for a good 30 seconds when he finally cleared his throat. "I told him and he g've me a shit reply."

I looked over to Berwald and saw the hurt in his expression. If we were dating right now (or to ever date if possible..) I would hug him and plant kisses all over his face.

..

Okay shut it Timo! Get your head back in the game!

"I'm sorry Ber, I would have never thought that would have happened..." I was silent... No WE were silent for a few moments until I decided to talk more. "Do you want to talk about i-"

"I don't wanna rain on yer par'de Timo... I really don't.." He started to play with his fingers. My heart fluttered.

"No Ber you're not, trust me! I'm here for you." I looked at him and placed my hand on his shoulder, and I swear I saw his face start to turn r-

"Well... He told me th't he was practic'lly giving me mah paycheck bec'use how much he c'me in just to see me and order something.." He looked back at me and his face was even... more... Sadder and stressed.

"Oh Ber... Just ignore him, he's one of those 'nice guys' that aren't really nice at all." From what he told me, this guy seemed like one of those nice guys that tipped their stupid fedoras.

Well fedoras aren't stupid. Those 'nice guys' are.

He mumbled something but I couldn't make it out. "What?" I replied to his mumble.

"Noth'ng.." He looked away. I decided to disguard it.

"How about I go make you some hot cocoa or some tea, or get you something? I don't like seeing you sad or down Ber." I got up and removed my hand from his shoulder.

"Can we just go w'tch a movie?" He grabbed my wrist and I'm pretty sure my heart almost jump out of my chest after he did that.

"Uhh... S-sure.. We should go to my room to do that then." I gave a little smile to Ber, and he got up slowly and for a moment I felt really intimidated... I forgot how tall he was. He was still holding onto my wrist and I started to walk up to my room, allowing him to hold on my wrist, even though my heart would eventually escape from its cage.

We eventually made it up into my room after what seemed like years and Berwald slowely let go of my wrist.

"Sorry..." He rubbed the back of his head and looked away after letting go. His face was all red and pink and it was the cutest thing ever.

"No it's okay! I didn't mind at all!" My face turned pink after I realized what I said and I walked over to my collection of movies and looked through them "S-So, I bought new movies last week!"

I pulled a movie out, that I've been dying to see.

"The Great Gatsby is such a great book and I really wanted to watch the movie since It looked so good..." I turned around to saw Ber sitting on my bed.

"Looks good." I could tell he was still sad.

"We can watch something else if you want?" I gave him a warm smile (or tried to).

"Gatsby is fine, Leo is in it, ya love him." If any pink went away from my face it came back at that comment. I manged to give a weak 'ok' back to him.

I turned on the TV and popped the movie into the DVD player. I changed the channel to the dvd channel and waited through all the movie previews.
Finally when it was on the title screen I pressed play.

I picked myself up and sat next to Berwald on my bed. Not too close though..

And then, the movie began.

I glanced over at Berwald and decided this was gonna be a long movie.

{Hi guys! Sorry it's been like a month or something like that since the last update or whatever. I went to a convention, had finals, and had to start working on more cosplay for a on coming up next month. Other then that, I don't really have a reason why I haven't updated. So really now that I think about it, this story will be updating irregularly.

But either way y'all are gonna learn the after math of this chapter and a new setting next chapter. (And more time skip, yay!) And thank you to those who faved and followed this story! IT means a lot to me:)

Oh and you all might noticed me going back on forth with spelling Tino and Timo, so please just bare with me a;sldkfj... Thank you~!

Also, sorry if it seems that chapter are getting shorter, my mind runs slow and writers block yay.

With loveeee,

Apple}