Chapter 4: Grapes of wrath destroy me

I entered the gardening section at Walmart and felt a wave of confidence come over me. It felt so...real. It was as if the potting soil was whispering to me, "Percy, we've been waiting for you!"

An employee greeted me. "Hey-yo, young man, how might I help you on this fine sunny day?" He was short and plump with dark hair and a comical handlebar mustache.

"Yes, sir," I replied. "I was wondering if you could help me find the tools I need to start a potato farm."

He looked astonished. "A potato farm? I would have suspected better from you, Mr. Jackson..."

I was confused. "How do you know my name-"

He ripped off his apparently fake mustache, revealing his true identity.

I gasped. "Mr. D? Whaaa-"

He offered an evil laugh and then belched loudly. "Well if it isn't Peter Johnson! My, you've gotten fat since I last saw you..."

I looked down at my flat belly in confusion. "Mr. D...I assure you, I am not fat..."

"Shut up, you emo child! I am never wrong! How dare you defy my supreme logic!" he spat at me.

I wiped his saliva off of my face. "Mr. D...I didn't come here for you to insult me. I came here with a dream to fulfill. And besides, you're the emo here, not me; studies have shown that bullies tend to be insecure about themselves. Additionally, insecure people tend to eat a lot. You're one to talk about my weight, all you do is sit around and eat grapes! So that means you're the fat one. I mean, come on, look at the size of that belly!" I gestured at his pudgy gut.

His face became purple with rage. "Peter Johnson, I will annihilate your organs!"

Suddenly he waved at a vine behind him. A swarm of red grapes flew at me at thirty miles an hour. Being caught off guard, I was unable to dodge the fruity bullets. Fifteen or so hit me squarely in the chest, and a few on my neck and face. I fell to the ground in agony.

Mr. D laughed evilly once again and said, "Ha! I have slain the mighty Peter Johnson at last! Who's the chosen one now? Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaa!"

Suddenly a baseball cap came flying out of nowhere and hit Mr. D in the forehead. His evil laughter came to a painfully abrupt stop as he fell over, unconscious.

I sat up and somebody hugged me from behind. "Percy! Are you OK?"

I turned around. "Annabeth! How ya doin', babe?" I was so happy to see her luscious sandy blonde hair again. I stood up. "How did you find me so quickly?"

"Because of this." She pulled out her phone and opened up her Twitter. She scrolled down for a moment and then showed me a tweet from Mr. D, which was a picture of me appearing dead. He had photoshopped blood all over my chest and face and a puddle of it on the ground around me. His comment said, "Behold, the mighty Peter Johnson has succumbed to my awesome power! #suchafatty #emo #iaminvincible #whosthechosenonenow #hereallyneedstoloseweight #teamDftw #helooksweird #nofilter #potatofarmsarefortheweak #loser #ihavedonetheworldafavor #poseidonaintwatchinoverhimnow #grapesofwrath."

"He really is full of himself, isn't he?" I said.

She nodded in agreement. "So...why are you here at Walmart, Percy? Don't the people here creep you out?"

"Yeah...but I had to come here. I have to buy some tools to get started on my new call in life." I looked at her with sincere solemnity. "Annabeth...I'm starting a potato farm."

She looked like she wasn't sure what to think. "So that explains Mr. D's potato farm hash tag...Percy, I don't know...potatoes are kind of lame...they're too...Idaho. You know? I mean...don't you want to grow something cool? Like corn? All the kids are eating corn these days."

I smiled and nodded enthusiastically. "We can grow corn, too, my dearest! Annabeth...you and I together can grow the most powerful farm in the universe! Together, we can dominate the farming market. Together, we can rule the galaxy!"

She grinned. "OK!"

"WAIT! STOP!" Mr. D awoke. "Such lame vegetables..."

"Well...Mr. D...technically, potatoes are a type of starch..." Annabeth reminded him.

He shrugged. "Anyway...my point is...you must also grow grapes, the most divine crop. I will help you. I will join you."

Annabeth and I looked at each other and smiled. We both nodded. "Alright."

We all put our hands together and shouted on the count of three, "Go team farming!"

We got all of the farming tools we needed and left Walmart with a new brightness in our eyes.