Ichigo woke up to small pushes to his shoulder. He at first didn't want to open his eyes. He didn't want to do anything besides lay there.

Shiro was gone and it was all his fault.

"Ichigo, your cab is here."

That was Yuzu's voice.

Ichigo opened his eyes, looking over his shoulder to his little sister. She gave him a small smile, her eyes understanding.

"Come on, it won't wait for long," Yuzu urged, grabbing Ichigo's hand. Ichigo let her pull him to his feet, feeling almost childish. He rubbed his eyes of sleep, sighing tiredly.

They didn't speak, just moved together. They each grabbed a bag and went downstairs, Ichigo giving his father a tired smile.

Isshin smiled back, his own tired and grim. Ichigo knew he wanted to be the last person to tell him of Shiro's death. So he didn't bring it up, pretending to be oblivious to it all as he gave both of his sister's hugs.

"Visit often, it gets lonely around here without you," Karin told him, Ichigo smirking smugly.

"Ah, did Karin miss me?" he teased, Karin's cheeks going red with embarrassment.

"N-No! At least n-not that m-much," she stuttered out, punching his arm. It was more playful than angry so Ichigo just laughed it off, kissing her forehead before she could pull away.

"I'm sixteen you weirdo!" she hollered, Yuzu chuckling before giving him another hug.

"Renji came back into town," she told him, Ichigo nodding.

Renji had went off to be a tattoo artist, rather famous now a days. Yuzu told him his shop was going to become a reality tv show in two months, and Ichigo was proud of him. It wasn't everyday someone became a spotlight in this town.

"He'll come and visit you later. He told me so once he got word you were coming back," Yuzu told him, Ichigo smiling softly. It was wiped away though with a hard kick to the face, Ichigo falling back with a yelp.

"Dad! What the fuck!" Ichigo hollered from the ground, his father puffing out his chest like he was Japan's new superhero.

"You've gotten slow boy! I could beat you up with my pinky finger!" his father bellowed, Ichigo growling lowly at him. Sure he hadn't been hitting the gym lately, but he was an adult now! Couldn't he tone it down a bit?

Ichigo got to his feet quickly, punching him square in the face. Isshin hadn't been expecting that and yelped in pain, grasping his nose as it gushed with blood. Karin snorted and Yuzu rolled her eyes. Even though it was childish, they had missed it all.

"Dad! I am a grown man now, stop doing that!" Ichigo yelled, his father nursing his nose, raising a hand in triumph.

"That was a man's punch my boy! I'm proud!" Isshin fell to the floor with a cry of pain when Ichigo kicked his stomach for good measure, Yuzu going to his side. Ichigo just left, shaking his head at his father's antics he had missed so much. His life had been only work and no play since he had left. It felt good to finally have some interaction with other people. He put his stuff into the cab, thanking the driver for waiting so long.

The driver didn't mention anything about the commotion as Ichigo got in, driving off silently. Ichigo sighed, resting against the seat. He reached into his backpack, taking out his Mp3 player and his headphones, plugging them in. He put on the headphones before turning on the device, waiting for the first song to play.

It started off like a desert wind, the wind slowly becoming the yells of a crowd, a drum solo starting. A guitar joined in, Ichigo closing his eyes as the lyrics began.

This is War by Thirty Seconds to Mars, one of Ichigo's favorites. He let the lyrics guide his mind to past days.

He and Shiro had been close than. Ichigo smiled, remembering every detail about him. He took in a deep breath, smelling his cologne. It had been a mixture of two, and it smelt so good. Ichigo could remember pressing his nose to his neck. It had been sweaty from sex, the pale skin so delectable he couldn't help but bite it.

"Ichigo… ah stop… ima…"

"We're here." Ichigo was snapped from his sudden daydream, opening his eyes. He blinked them a few times, sitting up and looking to the driver. He was looking back at him, his eyebrow raised. To put it nicely, he wanted him to get the fuck out now.

Ichigo nodded, saying a quick thank you before getting out and getting his luggage, removing his headphones from his ears as the cab drove off.

He looked up to the apartment complex, suddenly feeling very small. He walked up to the steps, looking to the cracked pavement with a frown.

Shiro had loved running up the steps all the time.

"Come on Ichigo!"

He blinked away the memory, taking a heavy step towards the building. He went up to the receptionist, giving the lady a small smile.

"How may I help you?" the lady asked, her smile more flirtatious than helpful. Ichigo didn't even try to explain that he went for the same sex. He told her his information with a frown, using his facial expression to show that he wasn't interested. Her hopeful eyes never dimmed.

Ichigo was given his key and he walked away, entering the elevator when it opened. A man walked out, not even caring to give him a nod or small greeting. Ichigo tried not to roll his eyes for the sake of looking professional, watching as the doors closed.

"Hold the elevator please!" he heard a voice call, Ichigo putting his hand in the way to stop the doors from closing. They obediently opened, a short man in a suit walking in. Ichigo pressed the fifth floor, the man pressing the fourth.

"Thanks," the man said, Ichigo nodding. He hadn't given the man an actual glance, but out of curiosity looked him over. He was no taller than 5'7" probably, his dirty blonde hair cut to his neck. Ichigo felt he knew him and took a chance.

"Shinji?" He guessed, the man turning around. Ichigo smirked as those familiar brownish gray eyes looked to him, Shinji's thin lips stretching into a smile he used to call creepy.

"Ichigo, long time no see," Shinji greeted in turn, putting a hand to his hip.

"How has life been treating ya?" Shinji asked, his sudden smile falling as Ichigo's eyes gave away. Shinji could read anyone's eyes, and with just one glance Ichigo was laid bare before him. Ichigo looked away, pursing his lips to try and hide what Shinji had seen. The elevator dinged for Shinji's floor, but he didn't get off. Shinji nibbled his bottom lip, contemplating what he should do next. He released his lip as the doors closed, Ichigo looking back to him in confusion.

"Ichigo, would you mind if I came over?"

Ichigo sat on his couch, Shinji sitting across from him on the lover's seat. They had cups of brandy in their hands, but neither had drank yet. They just sat in silence, letting it eat at them like parasites. Well, at least Ichigo was.

Shinji was watching him, thinking of something useful to say. He had been the lawyer to put Shiro's killer behind bars. He had faced the Japanese mafia with a smile on his face in the process.

Yet, as he looked to his old friend, he couldn't find the courage he once had. Ichigo wasn't the Japanese mafia. he wasn't a killer. He was the lover of who the killer had murdered.

Shinji closed his eyes, placing his brandy down. They wouldn't get anywhere like this. He stood up, Ichigo looking up to him.

A cup of brandy fell to the floor near silently, the brownish liquid spilling onto the floor. Ichigo's cheek throbbed, his eyes wide as he stared off into space. Shinji stood in front of him, a heavy frown on his lips.

"If you knew Shiro, than you wouldn't be grieving right now." Ichigo looked to Shinji with anger and sadness, averting his eyes at his disappointed look.

"I knew hi-"

"Then you would know that the last thing he would have wanted you to do was grieve over his death. He was the man who lived knowing that life was short. He wanted everyone to live life like it was their last day." Shinji leaned down, placing both of his hands next to Ichigo's head, caging him in.

Ichigo leaned back, his eyes narrowing.

"He would slap you just for acting this way. He wanted you to be happy. I'm pretty sure his wish stands true, even now."

Ichigo felt like a child, looking away from his eyes. They were searching to deep, they were digging up too many memories.

Ichigo closed his eyes, behind his eyelids feeling like the only place he could hide.

"If I wasn't your friend I would let you wallow in your self pity. But I am so cheer the fuck up or I'll beat you up," Shinji threatened, Ichigo trying to push him away. He refused to move though, his eyes narrowing.

He was about to say something else but the words were caught in his throat. They were caught in his throat because Ichigo finally opened his eyes, and tears he had never seen before fell down his face.

"How could you understand?"

He couldn't, thats why he was trying so hard to cheer him up.

Shiro grit his teeth, pushing away. He was about to leave Ichigo to wallow in his self pity but a hand grabbed his shirt, Shinji looking over his shoulder. Ichigo took in a sharp breath, wiping away his tears.

"I don't care where you take me, but please… get me out of here." Ichigo's voice was shaking, his hand tightening in his shirt. Shinji swallowed thickly, turning slightly and grabbing his hand. His finger's loosened, releasing his shirt. Shinji gave him a small smile.

"Let's go."

Ichigo stood up with a shaky breath, wiping away his tears.

He needed to escape.

XXXHeartXXX

Ichigo slammed the cup down onto the counter, throwing his head back as his throat burned. He slammed his hand onto the table, laughing in a brighter mood. He was drunk and happy, three more shots from being sick. Shinji laughed with him, slapping his back. Ichigo had never felt so good, turning in his seat to the crowd of dancing people.

The music was blasting, felt in his toes and fingers, the smell of sweat and booze hanging low in the air. The place was packed that night, Ichigo standing up with new purpose. His confidence was alcohol driven, but still inflamed all the same.

"Come dance with me!" Ichigo yelled to Shiro over the music, the blonde shaking his head, wobbling in his seat from the movement.

"I don't wanna!" he yelled back, Ichigo grabbing his arm anyway. He pulled him into the crowd, stepping into a place they could both dance. He pressed Shinji close to his body, his hips swaying to the beat of the music. Shinji stopped struggling then, dancing and pressing against him with a giggle, shit ass wasted.

Ichigo could hardly care, leaning down and pressing his nose to his neck. He smelled of Chanel and booze, Ichigo taking in a deep whiff. He grinded against him, Shinji gasping against his ear. Ichigo shivered, kissing his neck. He was coherent enough to not leave any marks, pulling away from his neck with a small groan as Shinji's nails clawed down his back.

Shinji squeezed his ass, Ichigo grinding against him harder. They were practically fucking each other after a few more minutes of dancing, Ichigo confused when he suddenly disappeared from his grasp.

He was pulled back into a hard chest, Ichigo arching slightly when he felt a hard bulge press against his ass. His thoughts swam, the booze hitting him hard. The world slowed, Ichigo blinking sluggishly. He felt lips press against his neck, something sharp pricking his skin. The pain was sweet, Ichigo shivering as he felt a warm tongue glide over his neck.

Ichigo reached behind him, his hand finding soft hair. He fisted his hand in it all, grinding back into the man behind him.

He heard the man take in a sharp breath, the small ounce of pain from the sharp pricking as it went deeper sending him into ecstasy. Ichigo felt pain as it felt something was being drawn from him, his thighs shaking as he came so close to cumming in his pants. But then it stopped, a tongue lapping his flesh.

He turned around, his eyes widening as pale skin and blue skin appeared in his vision. His mind was fuzzy, and he knew he could hardly tell shit apart, but he recognized those eyes anywhere.

"Shiro…"

Then all of sudden they were gone, a hand grabbing his. Ichigo looked to the side, seeing Shinji who had a wide smile on his face. They left after a few more minutes of dancing, Ichigo tired and dazed.

Shinji managed to call a cab in his drunken state, the two ending up just going to his room. Ichigo managed to make it to his room after dropping an unconscious Shinji onto the couch, falling onto his bed. He was shaking, his arms wrapped around his shoulders.

Goosebumps covered his entire body, cold sweat sliding down his back.

Shiro…

He was alive.

Author's note: Random inspiration thanks to Hurricane by Thirty Seconds to Mars!