A/N: I hope you guys liked the last chapter! I really enjoyed it. If not, you can leave a review and tell me what you didn't like. If you did, please leave a review and tell me what you did like! It means a lot to me, and I know I ask for one every time… but I haven't gotten a single review yet and we're already on chapter four. I'm so sad! So please tell me if you liked it and if you didn't, then… tell me anyways. I love you guys and now it's onto the next chapter.

TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE, USE OF HARD DRUGS AND ALCOHOL ABUSE IN THIS CHAPTER. PLEASE STAY SAFE AND CLEAN IF YOU'RE STRUGGLING. I LOVE YOU ALL.

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Chapter Four: Meg

Castiel jumped out of the Impala, leaving it running, and jogged to get Meg and Sam, who stood huddled under Sam's umbrella. The rain had just about stopped, making room for a November cold front to blow in from the north. Dean watched him quickly murmur something to them, glancing to the car and back again. Dean felt his face grow hot with embarrassment as Meg grinned and ran back with Castiel and Sam. She leaned in, giving Dean a messy kiss on his forehead, and scooted over enough for Sam to climb in. The silence was deafening as Castiel pulled out of the parking lot. Dean cleared his throat, looking at Castiel. He smiled mysteriously at him, winking. He blushed again, looking down into his lap, fingers twitching.

"Dean," whispered Meg, placing her hands on his shoulders, "you're gonna be okay, kid." she kissed his cheek, pushing her face against his softly and gently. "We all love you." Dean nodded, tears streaming down his face.

"Thank you, Meg." Dean said through his tears. She nodded, leaning back. Sam gave Castiel directions to Bobby's house, stepping out of the car when they arrived. He leaned in Dean's window.

"What do you want me to tell Bobby?" he asked, leaning his head on Dean's shoulder.

"The truth: that I need some space and I'm depressed right now, because that's the truth. I'll be home tomorrow, okay?" Castiel gripped Dean's hand, brow furrowed.

"Are you sure?" Cas sounded concerned, eyes searching Dean's face slowly.

"Shit. I probably should've asked first. Is that okay?" asked Dean, leaning into Castiel's grip. He nodded, a smile flooding onto his face. Meg clapped her hands, grinning. "I'll see you tomorrow, first thing in the morning, we'll come and get you and take you to school." Sam nodded, patting his brother on the back and walking to the house. They drove away, blasting AC-DC and smoking cigarettes. They drove around Sioux Falls, down the empty highways, Dean taking the wheel once he felt stable enough to drive. He drove too fast, speeding down the highway while Meg gleefully leaned out the window and Castiel finally accepted a cigarette. He pointed out beautiful spots, and then gave Dean directions to his apartment when everyone claimed they were 'starving'. Dean pulled into the complex parking lot thirty minutes later, letting Meg jump out to run and open the door before finding a place to park. It was raining again, sheets of icy wet pouring down onto the car. Dean looked at Cas, eyes bright with happy energy.

"We've known each other for less than two months, Cas." said Dean quietly. He knew they had something, he could feel it. But this was the first time he'd been happy in years – since Lisa Braeden had died his freshman year. This was something he couldn't ruin, not like he'd ruined Lisa. Castiel looked at him, picking another cigarette carefully out of Dean's pack and lighting it. The way he looked, smoke trailing from between his slightly open lips, made Dean wonder how he'd arrived at this more beautiful of moments in his life.

"Yes?" Castiel whispered, looking out into the sheeting rain. "And?"

"And I don't want to rush through this like I have all of my relationships. The last time I was this happy, she got mugged and stabbed and bled to death in an alley way when I should've been walking her home and we weren't even together, Castiel, we weren't a couple – she was a senior and I was just a scared little freshman. I should've been with her, but I was too busy having sex to realize she'd texted me 53 times and called me six, left me five messages. So, instead of being there for her, she died. And I lost my best friend – I lost the only person who really knew who I was. Because of that, I don't let people in. And I will never forgive myself for letting her die, Cas, never. So I can't rush this. I can't fall into this because I can tell how happy she is for me, she's always right there in that backseat, watching me be happy and I have to…" Dean trailed off, looking imploringly into Castiel's dark eyes. He nodded, looking away.

"When did that happen?" Castiel stared blindly out the window, face settling into one of indifference.

"Three years ago; we still lived in Lawrence. We moved a few months after that. I don't really remember exactly when, but I do know that it was my fault she died that night." Dean paused to collect his things. "I can't rush this, Castiel, and if you don't understand that, then I'll just go home but I-"

"Dean." said Castiel, taking his hands away from packing away his sweater into his bag. "I don't want to rush this either. But you are wonderful. Truly, Dean, after everything you've gone through – and I don't even know the half of it, I know. I know. But what I do know about you, is that if you weren't as strong as you are, you wouldn't be standing here in front of me asking not to rush things. And I think… If Lisa is there with you, every day? I don't think she blames you. I think you should give up blaming yourself. So…" Castiel brushed his fingers across Dean's cheek, kissing him lightly. "When you're ready to take it further, when you think you're gonna be okay… You let me know." Dean nodded. He leaned forward, pulling Castiel's face towards him with both hands, and pressed his mouth hard against his.

"When I say I love you, I mean it." said Dean softly, pulling away from Cas. "Now take me inside, because I'm starving, and we're gonna be soaked by the time we get inside anyways." Castiel laughed, jumping out of the car. He slammed the door close, watching Dean lean across to lock it and then stepped out of his side of the car. Castiel squealed when Dean threw him across his shoulder, running through the parking lot with Castiel begging to be let down the whole way.

"I love you, Castiel Novak. I do." He set Cas down just inside the building, holding him steady as he swayed dizzily on the spot. "I kissed you, and I just knew. I just knew, Cas. I knew I wanted this, and I can't stop myself anymore. I love you and I want to be with you. And you're right we can't rush this and I have to stop blaming myself for Lisa but I don't know how yet. I just want you to know that… I love you. And I want…" Dean grasped Castiel's hands, pulling him close and laying his forehead against the other mans, water dripping between their noses. "You. I want you." Castiel breathed in gently, a smile spreading across his face. He nodded, leaning up to kiss Dean softly.

"C'mon, Meg probably thinks we're canoodling in your car. She's gonna yell at us when we get up there to not have sex in the parking lot, just so you know." Dean guffawed, letting Cas drag him up the six flights of stairs.

Meg cooked like a professional. She blamed it on 'being L'eesiana born and bred', but Dean knew there was something else to it. The prideful smile she wore on her face when she presented her food told Dean it was something she took to heart. When he took his first bite, he understood why she was so proud of it. It was amazing – after eating microwavable dinners and spaghettio's, cereal and bland, overcooked pasta his whole life, he understood why food was so important to her. It was a representation of her emotions, today: a sort of overjoyed appreciation of Dean and a love for Cas. She leaned against the slick counter, watching Dean eat.

"I have never had food this good," said Dean, "Not since my mom died, at least." Meg nodded, ginning.

"I've been saving this meal for the first time you spent the night. I figured since you're all Cas talks about, it should be special." Castiel kicked her and she almost choked on her mouth full of potatoes.

"Well it's amazing Meg," Dean continued, shooting Cas a look. "Thank you." he set his plate down, wrapping his arms around Meg to give her a crushing hug and kiss the top of her head gently.

"He's my unicorn," she said into his shoulder. Dean looked confused. "He's the brightest, most uniquely amazing thing in my life. And that would probably make you his unicorn, so… Take good care of him." Dean settled back against the counter again, raising his eyebrows at her. She got flustered, flailing her hand wildly while attempting to swallow, meaning to amend herself. "Oh, jeez, I mean when I go away to college. Cause I am, and Cas isn't. Because my mom offered to continue paying for schooling so… Cas made me take it. And I need someone here taking care of him, because I won't be able to from Stanford or Yale or wherever I decide to go."

"Somewhere prestigious," said Cas with an air of righteous indignation. She laughed, poking him in the gut. "You two, finish your dinner so I can wash dishes before Grey's Anatomy comes on at nine, I'm not missing this weeks episode because Cas decides he's too good for it."

"Let me wash dishes, Meg." offered Dean. She shook her head, smiling down at the sink.

"No, it's my routine. I can't… break it. Trying to stay clean, ya know?" she held up the AA chip. "Four months, and all because of Cas." Dean nodded, rubbing her back.

"Not even for tonight?" he asked gently, not wanting to push her.

"No, I… have to stay on schedule. If I even have a little bit of free time, it'll get to my head. Today was fun, but I'm pretty regimented," she muttered, looking pressured.

"Okay." said Dean. "Okay, we'll be in the living room." she nodded, scrubbing away at a pan. He shook his head, chuckling. "Didn't take Meg for an AA kind of person," whispered Dean to Cas. He took Dean's hand.

"She's really strong, actually," said Cas. "Fell off two years ago after something really horrible happened, and I had to help her get clean. She went to NA for a while, too… but that didn't pan out and she's been clean from that for a year."

"What happened?" said Dean before glancing at Cas. "If you don't mind."

"Just tell him, it's not a big deal," yelled Meg from the other room.

"Well…"

Meg stepped into the large house, smiling at the other partygoers. She felt out of place; this wasn't her scene. She hung out with a crew of Metal heads, and Cas. Cas was her lifesaver, made her feel whole inside after all the shitty things that had happened with her father and mother. He was her best friend. She was here for him. Meg nodded to the crappy pop music, feeling the eyes on her Dethklok shirt and ripped black jeans, the leather jacket swinging from her fist. Her eyes darted around the room as she paced through the large house, confused by its complexity.

"Excuse me," she said to a small girl, who shrunk away from Meg when she turned to look at her. "Do you know Castiel Novak?" the girl nodded, pointing into the kitchen. "Thanks." she squeaked a reply, but Meg had already started towards the kitchen, hands shaking from the amount of people that paced around her.

"Meg!" cried Castiel, rushing around the table to hug her tightly, swaying drunkenly. "You said you weren't coming!"

"Well, Clarence," she drawled lightly. "I made you a promise, didn't I?"

"Yeah well, that doesn't mean you have to be here. I know this isn't your scene." Castiel slurred. "Isn't there a show tonight?"

"Yes." said Meg matter-of-factly. "But I'm missing it to keep an eye on you, because I promised your boyfriend I would." she shook her head, looking down at her booted feet. "Wore my Doc's in case I need to kick some ass." Castiel laughed loudly, pulling away from her to the table.

"Hey, you guys!" his friends looked up from the dining table, shot glasses in front of them and empty bottles strewn across the polished wood surface. "This is Meg, she's my step sister. Say hi, Meg." Meg nodded her head, looking through the crowd of people. Music bumped loudly, making it hard for her to think. She shook her head, going to the fridge to find her beer; it was her house after all, she should know where everything was. She popped off the top of the PBR with her teeth, lighting a cigarette and plopping down next to her stepbrother.

"Whoa." said a kid sitting across the table from her. "Did you just take the top off of that with your teeth?" Meg nodded slowly, taking a sip without looking at him. She stood again, dragging her cigarette then shoving it between her teeth, checking her phone, and pacing out of the room.

"I'll be back," said Meg, glancing at Cas. He nodded, looking at her; his lips mouthed the words 'are you okay?' she nodded, turning away and walking towards the door, which hung open. She stepped onto the lawn, processing this party her brother Gabriel had thrown for Cas. It was ridiculous – kids she barely knew, kids he barely knew, kids that were throwing up in the yard and kids that were fucking against the side of the house. She gagged slightly against the next sip of beer, crossing paths with teens making babies on the lawn.

"Get the fuck off my lawn." she said, kicking them in the side. They shot up, fear in their eyes at the sight of Meg with her cigarette and her cheap glass bottle of beer. "ANYONE HAVING SEX ON MY LAWN NEEDS TO LEAVE. NOW." A few people bounced away, stumbling to cars or down the street. She nodded to the bad pop, strolling back inside, clicking away from it on the iPod dock. She plugged her phone in, cranking up the death metal. People moved out of the house, glaring at her, and Castiel moved to Meg, nodding in time with the music.

"So, death metal?" said Cas, dancing with her. She nodded again, swigging down the rest of her beer. "You want everyone out? Cause I can kick people out, I can do that for you." she shook her head, smiling lightly at him. She paced away, back into the kitchen to grab another beer. Cas followed her, swaying hard with the hard music. "Are you okay Meg?" She nodded again, still not speaking. She opened the second beer, walking to the stairs.

"I'm tired!" she yelled to Cas. "Make sure people don't bother me!" He grunted loudly in affirmation, dancing against his boyfriend. She danced lightly into her bedroom, moving her feet. Meg's room was dark, even with the light turned on. Her walls were draped in posters, one wall dedicated to a collage of the cigarettes she'd smoked, packs carefully cut open and laid artistically over each other. She fell back onto her bed, beer spilling onto her dark comforter. She lit another cigarette, taking deep drags off of it. Smoke poured out of her mouth, and her eyes slid shut. She mouthed along to the music, hearing people stream out of the house. She killed her cigarette, putting it out in the ashtray next to her bed and sat up. Meg walked to her closet, opening the door to the small room and stripped down to her underwear. She heard footsteps, and the door to her bedroom creaked open.

"You really didn't have to make people leave, Castiel," she said, sifting through her clothes. A hand wrapped around her mouth and stomach, and she jerked backwards, starting to scream.

"Don't make a sound, Meg. You'll like this, you little dyke." said a familiar voice. He turned her around, looking into her eyes, keeping a hand on her mouth. Uriel smiled at her, a smile of death and fear. She twisted around, trying hard to move away from him, but he gripped her tighter. "I saw you and Anna, you bitch. That's my girlfriend and you fucked her and I know you did. You're just a little slut… but let me show you how big of a slut you really are." He yanked her to the bed, throwing her down and then landing hard on top of her when she tried to move away. She heard him yank down his zipper, and she struggled and squirmed beneath him.

"Please," she whispered, "please, Uriel, don't do… this please." she pushed him, kicked her legs, throwing herself, full bodied against him. He chuckled – he was huge, much bigger than the last time she'd seen him. She pushed again, struggling. He ripped her panties off, throwing them across the room. He shoved into her, thrusting against her. She screamed hoarsely, and he pushed a hand against her throat. She gagged and choked, feeling her airway close.

"Uriel let go of me, please, you're choking me," she gasped. He thrust against her, moaning gently into her ear.

"That's the point, sweetheart," he grunted, further distressing her. Tears streamed down her face, and he kissed her. "Oh stop, you're not upset. You should be thanking me." she found no point in further struggling. She laid down, letting him rape her, feeling his weight against her and cried harder. Her pulse raced, she closed her eyes, praying for it to end. He thrust into her again and again, stealing from her the last vestige of self-respect she had for herself.

Uriel finished, pulling himself off of her and zipping up his pants. "Thanks, sweetheart. You've been wonderful." he stood up, stepping towards the door. "You ever touch Anna again, I swear to God next time I will kill you." Meg stifled her sobs, holding her hands over her face. She pulled her covers up, watching him step out of the room, and down the hall. She pulled herself out of bed, hands against her throat, and wrapped herself in her blanket; Meg followed him to the stairs and ran forward, shoving him down the stairs. He rolled forward, landing at the bottom of the stairs with a loud crash. "CASTIEL. CALL THE POLICE." she screamed, pounding down the stairs. "BALTHAZAR, SOMEONE, PLEASE." her voice cracked, sobs ripping from her throat. Balthazar came running around the corner, looking at the floor and then at her. Her throat was red, and she had tear streaks running down her face. He held her closely, shushing her as she cried. Castiel came running, buttoning his pants and buckling his belt.

"Are you okay?" she shook her head, burying her face deeper into Balthazar's chest. She gripped tighter to him, sobbing harder.

"I think…" started Balthazar, "I think he did something to her." he held her blanket up, feeling her sob in his arms. She nodded, coughing into his chest and hiccupping. "It's okay honey. Castiel is calling the cops right now." Cas had his phone to his ear, and he was speaking quickly. Meg stepped away, holding her blanket up to her chest. She sobbed again, staring down to a bleeding Uriel on the floor.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry Anna, I'm sorry Cas, I'm so sorry."

Dean looked down at his feet, Meg standing with a towel, tears falling to the floor. "He died, later that night, in the hospital, Uriel did. And I… killed him. I didn't mean to, I was just so upset and scared and I pushed him. I didn't mean to hurt him," said Meg gently. Dean stretched his hand to her, looking into her dark brown eyes.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Meg," he said softly. She nodded, looking down at her feet. "You are very strong and very brave."

"Yeah," she laughed, "maybe a little too strong." They all laughed, and Meg sat down. "That's my story, Dean. What's yours?"

The night passed quickly – Meg falling asleep with her head in Dean's lap, his fingers coursing through her hair. He woke her up, Castiel moving her from the sofa bed to her real bed. Cas pulled out the sofa, moving with a sleepy Dean to make the bed. Dean rocked his way under the covers; Castiel laughed, moving away to turn off the television. He paced to the lamp, flicking it off as Dean stirred gently.

"Don't go." mumbled Dean, words slightly muffled by the pillow he shoved his face into.

"What?" said Cas, leaning more forward and speaking softly, trying not to wake Meg again.

"Stay." Dean patted the bed sleepily, moving over to give him room. Cas climbed under the covers, pulling Dean towards him.

"Happy?" he whispered through the darkness, chuckling when Dean nodded. He nuzzled his face into the crook of Cas' shoulder, falling quickly into sleep. Cas hummed a sweet lullaby that lulled him to sleep minutes later. He dreamed of dean, thoughts rushing around the possibility of a forever with a kid he barely knew.